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Oh the Possibilities

Beep….beep…beep (the loud, in your face kind of beep that everybody hates)

The annoying sound of the buzzer on the alarm clock woke Meredith with a start. It had only been three hours ago that she fell into an exhausted sleep after spending most of the night tossing and turning, unable to shut off the steady stream of thoughts bouncing around her brain; trying to find a comfortable position in her big, seemingly very empty bed. She turned, still half asleep, expecting to roll into Derek's solid, warm form for a few more minutes of the peaceful bliss that grogginess offers, only to jolt with displeasure at the severe coolness of the sheets on side of the bed where he should have been.

"Damn, why do I do that to myself every morning? I know he's not there, but still some part of me wishes, NO expects him to be." With that thought, she pushed herself into a sitting position and warily placed a hand on her stomach that had suddenly decided to revolt against the change in position.

"Great, this is the perfect way to begin the day," she thought to herself edging towards the side of the bed, all the while starring out at the gray, cloud filled sky. "Not only am I once again disappointed that he's not here but now I want to throw up. Come on! What could I have possibly done to deserve this? Oh yeah I know, screw around with the emotions of two really great guys while secretly wanting only one…yeah I probably deserve this."

After the war raging in her stomach settled Meredith got up and grabbed the towel that she had haphazardly discarded on the floor the previous morning. She went into the bathroom, headed towards the shower, turned the water on, waited for it to heat up, and then warily sank to the tub floor. Here, in the bottom of her shower she had found a haven many mornings. It allowed her to have a few minutes to herself before beginning the long day ahead with its never ending stream of people and their problems. The hot water and the steam it created helped to push the last trace of sleep from her head. The steady stream of water was calming and at the same time strengthening. It almost felt like soft, warm hands running down her neck and shoulders…a delicious feeling that she always allowed herself to indulge in before officially beginning the day. Peace was never long lasting, especially in this house.