Disclaimer: Victorious and its characters are the property of Schneider's Bakery and Nickelodeon. This story is for entertainment purposes only and no money exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the author. No profit is intended or wanted for this story.


The calendar showed it was nearly the end of April, 2014. It was Saturday the 26th of April and the night ofthe first annual Halfoween Party at Hollywood Arts.


Tori came out of her room and slowly walked downstatirs into the Vega living room. Jade West, in her bloody wedding dress, watched her with a growing smile.

Jade definitely liked what she saw. Tori was wearing a string bikini top with shells over her breasts. The top was smaller than Tori so more than a bit of her boobs were showing. Her flat tummy, with her little navel was on display. Below that narrow, sexy waist, she had a grass skirt to complete the stereotypical island girl image.

Aftre several seconds of Jade's silent staring, Tori blurted out, "Well?! What do you think?"

"I can't wait to hit the hay," Jade said in an even voice.

"Ja-ade! Seriously! What do you think?"

"I want a lawnmower…"

"Ja-a-ade!"

Jade laughed, she loved getting Tori so riled up. "Okay, a weed-whacker should work just fine."

Tori's expression showed she didn't think it would work fine at all, or that she even found Jade the least bit funny.

"Okay, girlfriend. Wanna know what I really think?"

Tori looked a little apprehensive, "I'm not sure anymore."

"I think you look hot! So hot, I could toast marshmallows off you."

"Damn it, Jade!"

"I'm serious, Vega. You look hot. I'm not sure I want anyone else to see you like that!"

Tori smiled, "Really?"

Jade nodded, "Really." She glanced at her phone, "How long 'til the dance?"

"Um…about an hour."

"Perfect! I'll be back in forty."

With that, Jade was out the door, leaving Hula Tori standing alone in her living room.

"What the hell just happened?"


Fifty minutes later, Tori read a text:

Out front! Get your grassy knoll out here now!

Tori smiled. Only Jade would compare her special place to an infamous conspiracy site.

She grabbed her phone, keys and some money - not sure where she was going to keep it all - and dashed out the door.

Jade's fingers were tapping the steering wheel impatiently as Tori got in the beautiful, classic GTO. "Don't go strumming your fingers at me, Jade West! You said forty and it's been nearly an hour!"

Without turning to look at her lover, Jade said, "Fifty. I said fifty, as in fifty minutes."

"No you didn't. You said forty. I distinctly remember… Wait! This is like the pizza dough flour. Or the hot sauce in the…"

"No. Not like that. I just…" Jade turned to Tori with a smile, "I'm sorry, babe. I was running late and…"

Tori was beaming. She loved seeing the side of Jade – the side no one else saw. The softer, more compassionate and caring side. "It's okay. I still love you."

"I know," Jade said, matter-of-factly, as she pulled away from the curb.

"You changed your costume. I thought you were going to wear that bloody wedding dress again."

Jade waved her off, "Been there, done that, sent you a postcard…"

"So… What are you?"

"Look. It's pretty damned obvious! What the hell am I?"

Jade was wearing a pair of white slacks, a white jacket, black shirt with a white square at the collar, like a priest, and a wide-brimmed Panama hat. Tori did like the unusually light-colored look on her normally dark-clad lover.

"Umm…"

"Jeez, Vega. What are you?"

"A hula girl?"

"No, well yes but you're also an island heathen. A hot island heathen. My job is to 'save' you…"

"Um… You're a… Ummm… Oh! A missionary!"

"Yep! That's my position!"

Tori laughed and shook her head. "So you're going to convert me to…?"

"The Blessed Lady Sappho," Jade replied, her eyebrow arched in a specific manner, one that always got Tori's juices flowing. Literally.

It was going to be a fun night…


Note: This puns came to me and I had to get this down quickly. I only read it over twice so I apologize for any screw-ups.