Title: When Andrea moves on
Author: Loz
E-Mail: loz06(at)yahoo(dot)com
Rating: T
Category: Neil.Andrea...Who else? Oh and the supporting cast, can't forget them.
Series: Story number twenty two. What follows are titles and story ID numbers:
(1) After he's at her door – 2486705 (11) When they're back together – 2619492
(2) When the mighty fall – 2506192 (12) Life almost in balance – 2630121
(3) While his wife's away – 2525486(13) Life under pressure – 2666280
(4) While they're away – 2543010 (14) Trying to have a life together – 2699235
(5) When love's not working – 2543013 (15) Outside influences on their lives – 2704730
(6) Boundaries when broken up – 2562611 (16) When things start falling apart – 2727112
(7) What happens on the train – 2579012 (17) When they're approaching the end again - 2750079
(8) When they work together – 2595808 (18) Trying not to drift apart – 2891564
(9) When she wants him back – 2598312 (19) When the truth comes out - 2912317
(10) When they're stuck together – 2611364 (20) How things are going to be – 2954769
(21) When they work together…again – 2959211 (22) When Andrea moves on - 3181250
Spoilers: So minor it shouldn't ruffle any feathers.
Archive (if applicable): www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net(slash)loz06
Feedback: The good, the bad and the very ugly it's all appreciated.
Summary: Andrea is encouraged to move on from Neil but will she be able to shake the feeling she's betraying him even though all she wants to have is some fun.
Authors' notes: Well…I've been gone a while. Had a crap and very busy 6 months or so which drags on. I haven't written at all in this time and still don't have the time to get back into it, but I had this one and others on the bench so here it is.
Apologies: If you've been waiting for this next instalment for as long as it's taken to get here.
Disclaimers: I haven't moved on from hoping I'll own the Bill one day, but for now no one who appears below (save Louise and Cally) belong to me.
Andrea is waiting for him when Neil climbs the steps to his flat, when she hears him she looks up from her shoes. He stops, three steps away, looking up at her he absorbs the concern on her face, taking the last remaining steps slowly. At the top he continues looking at her, needing her. Only when Andrea reaches for his tie does he look down, her grasp is gentle and she pulls him slowly to her. Neil gives in easily, supported by his hands on the front door. He can't help but kiss her, she's warm, comforting and unselfishly giving, and still something bothers him, something he has to address.
"Andrea, I don't think…" She sweeps away his words with another kiss.
"Shh, don't think at all." She feathers light kisses around his neck.
"It's not a good idea that we…" Again Neil is silenced by her lips.
"It's just about tonight, you know it and I know it. It doesn't make any difference to anything between us." Convinced he opens the front door and lets her go in first.
Andrea's immediately haunted by what happened last time she was in his flat. When she turns to look at Neil, she wears the same look as she did the last time she was here. Neil's keys and wallet drop to the floor as Andrea slides her arms around his neck; he presses himself next to her.
Through kisses her hands push his jacket off his shoulders and down his arms. The knot in his tie is too tight and she gives up, hurriedly unbuckling his belt and pulling his shirt from his pants, the buttons of his shirt much easier than the tie Neil successfully removes. Shoes are kicked off.
His hands on Andrea's side find the edge of her shirt, pulling it over her head. By the time they reach the bedroom hands have slid across hips and released the button and zip of her skirt, it slips to the floor.
She traces his face with her fingers.
"I can't stand to see you upset, it hurts me." Neil nods and understands; it speaks volumes of the connection they share.
Wounded Neil allows Andrea to bring him back to life; she goes a way towards healing him with her tender touch and the unselfish attention she pays to him. It's not an equal act but that's the point, tonight is about Neil. Her gentle caress and special attention to the sensitive spots she discovered in him a long time before now flood him with feeling, erasing the pain.
She knows him too well.
Their contact doesn't end when they cease moving under the covers, Neil sleeps in her arms as Andrea lies awake thinking about the fact she tried to keep when she felt shallow, tried to concentrate on filling his emptiness and not what she might need from him. However she can't stop coming back to what they've just done and what she's just felt.
A sole tear is the only indication she's upset about what she's lost. Neil's last thought is that this is the first time she's been in his bed and he'd have preferred to it be under different circumstances.
The next morning Andrea finds herself with her arms still around him, she has no idea what to say let alone how to say it. A part of her thinks this was a bad idea and she wants to flee so not as to prolong the inevitably uncomfortable situation.
From the floor at the end of the bed she slips into her underwear, something draws her eyes back to Neil, she watches him sleep. Back tracking her steps picking up her shirt, back in the bedroom she slides on her skirt.
She spots her diary on top of her bedside table, it's unopened.
Unbeknownst to her Neil sits up and watches her dress, she catches the rustle of the sheets eventually and takes her eyes over to his.
"I thought you were asleep." Andrea says looking away; she fiddles with her clothes, smoothing them down to occupy herself. She doesn't want to be the first one to say anything about the night before.
"You're leaving." His voice sounds sleepy and when she finally looks at him he rubs his eyes.
"I've got to get to Cally." It's convenient but no lie. Neil throws the covers back.
"I'm coming with you; we have to talk about this." It makes Andrea feel uneasy, she thought everything that needed to be said was said at the door last night.
As Neil throws the ball for Cally at the park near Andrea's flat she's reminded that this was not the way she imagined them doing this, it was a rosier situation and they were more together. Cally had greeted Neil like she hadn't seen him for a lifetime, nothing unusual and something Andrea drew strength from each time it happened to her.
"I'm not sure if I should be grateful or angry." Neil says as he throws the ball and Cally chases after it as fast as her short legs will allow.
"Why's that?" Andrea picks up the ball and this time she throws it herself.
"You…" Neil looks over the empty park, it's Christmas Day and most people are celebrating with family and friends, it's not the type of day people spend in a park let alone attempting to analyse your actions from the previous night.
"You took pity on me." Neil says and Andrea thinks for a moment that maybe that's right but in her heart she knows it's not true.
"It wasn't pity, you were hurting and you needed comfort, a reprieve. You were so low in your office last night. I couldn't just walk out, you were devastated." Andrea looks across at Neil who holds the ball in his hand, Cally on guard waiting for him to throw it. Neil's eyes meet hers and they convey to her he knows what she's just said is true.
"You still care." Neil says slowly, throwing the ball.
"Very much so, I think I probably always will. Too much has gone on between us." Andrea is honest.
"I still care too." They hold each others eyes and Andrea has an overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss him.
"When I said last night was just about last night I meant it." Andrea reiterates, it's as much a reassurer and reminder for Neil as it is for her.
"Can you do that?" It's not an accusation, a question that indicates he thinks it might be a burden.
"I won't deny I still feel enormously for you but I realise what I've done to you and us and that sort of thing can't be wiped away easily." Andrea's voice betrays the fact she wishes it wasn't the way it is. Neil sighs and looks up from the ground. "Are you going to be able to get through this?"
"I'm not sure."
"Because I can't be there for you on this, because of where our relationship is at the moment and because of the nature of what you have to do." Andrea picks up Cally and sits her on her lap.
"So what was last night?" Neil asks slowly.
"I'm not going to say it was a mistake, if that's what you're thinking because it wasn't and I don't regret it. It wouldn't be healthy if it continued and there are still the trust issues you have with me." Neil nods and pats his pet dog. "Is Colin coming back?"
"The twenty seventh."
"He's your strength…when you feel like last night might happen again, you look to him. It's the only way you get through; my Colin is of the fur variety." Andrea looks to Cally and back to Neil who throws the ball and Cally pushes of Andrea's lap, digging in her claws as she goes. "What are you going to do about the papers?"
Neil's arm stops mid-air Cally having brought back the ball already, her Cally's eyes never leave the ball, she remains frozen in one spot. "I don't know." Andrea doesn't press for more.
"I should go."
"You have somewhere to go, other than to an empty flat this Christmas Day?" Andrea reminds him of his lonely status.
"I guess not."
"So come to mine, you can spend some more time with Cally and I'll cook us something, it seems stupid for both of us to be alone." It just makes good sense to Andrea. "Christmas is about the children." She teases, elevating Cally to human status.
"It's another reason for us to be together when we shouldn't be." Neil reminds her and Andrea knows full well it's true.
"Nothing's going to happen…I don't want to be alone today, do you?" Neil can't deny it's true but still he holds back, there are so many issues.
"Just for a few hours," Neil relents; Andrea doesn't smile on the outside as they head back to her flat.
Neil's not sure if he should be doing this, his head rests on the phone as he wonders what the rules are for this, if it's appropriate. None-the-less he dials the phone number waiting for someone to pick up. The sweet and friendly voice he wants to talk to answers, she identifies herself and the number he's called, just the way her mother probably taught her.
When Neil identifies himself and asks the question that is the reason for his call, Julia hesitates. "I'll just ask mum."
The phone clutters down and Neil realises it's a respectful teenager that still asks her mothers permission to go somewhere with a stranger. In the distance Neil hears her say 'it's Colin's dad, he's a police officer.' The next voice to come down the line is an adult female's. Talking to the parents of his teenage son's girlfriend is a first; it's a first for any parent of Colin's friends. Neil only feels good about it.
"Thanks for asking me to come Mr. Manson." Julia is both polite and down-to-earth though she fiddles nervously with the edge of her skirt. The more contact they have the more comfortable about his son spending time with her Neil becomes.
"Call me Neil, please." There it is...he knew it would happen sometime in the future. He means it as well and it doesn't feel uncomfortable in the least.
"Oh I couldn't do that." Julia says like it would be the ultimate in disrespect. "Did Colin have a good Christmas?"
"I think so, but he's also happy to be coming back." Neil smiles across at Julia quickly.
"I really like him Mr. Manson, he's kind and caring and he's not like other boys my age." Again Neil looks across at her but she's smiling towards the front of the car. It reminds Neil of the moments when he used to catch himself staring off into the distance, thinking about Andrea and smiling.
"He really likes you too." For a while the trip proceeds in silence.
"If you don't mind me saying you look like you have something worrying you." Neil casts his eyes across the envelope in front of the steering wheel, he adds intuitive, respectful and caring.
"It's just work stuff." He lies, he wouldn't dream of telling her the truth.
"Oh." Why is it women not matter what their age suspect men have something they're hiding.
"I caught the people responsible for those drugs." Neil changes the topic.
"That's good." Julia says enthused as Neil spies a post box on the next corner. He pulls into the curb and Julia doesn't ask, "Back in a minute."
He hurries out of the car with the envelope but slows as he reaches the post box. He holds the divorce papers three quarters of the way down the slot but is unable to let go. He knows he can't do this in front of Colin, he has to do it now but his fingers won't release their grasp. He doesn't know why he hesitates, he knows it's over with Philippa, perhaps he always imagined this moment to be a happier one; it would mean he could be with Andrea. Maybe it's just because it's the end to such as large and significant part of his life and signals great change. He doesn't notice the envelope slip as he talks himself around, he stands for a moment with the feeling of it being gone, off to the solicitor and the divorce underway. When he turns back he sees Julia quickly avert her eyes from him. She'll tell Colin, never quite sure if they were divorce papers that Neil has just slipped into the mail but having seen how hard it was none-the-less.
