The sign said "Traverse Bay Ecological Preserve - No Trespassing". It was officially protected at a time when the government was thin and shifting, so the general reference on the sign was a historic landmark in and of itself; neither Federal, nor Royal, nor State… In truth, the area needed little protection, as the unique specimens were perfectly capable and apt to protect themselves.

The man sometimes called Megamind was about to check on a long-standing scientific wonder that he had not initiated himself. Years ago, when his own relationship with Roxanne Ritchie was blossoming, his best friend, Minion, had begun to get itchy fins- figuratively speaking- and unintentionally unleashed an amazing chain of events. Let me tell you some of the story.


Ever since Megamind had started sneaking off to be with Roxanne, things had been different around the lair, and it wasn't always so bad. It was a relief for Minion to see his long time friend so much happier and occupied in healthier, more positive ways. Especially once things got out in the open. Sometimes they liked going out and doing things all together, sometimes they liked just being the two of them...

Minion, being a fish, was always fond of swimming in large open spaces. One early spring occasion, when his human friends were enjoying each others exclusive company and pheromones were flying, he went out for a leisurely swim. He was usually out alone in the big lake (half the day perhaps) enjoying the invigorating cool of the deep and the sultry warmth of the shallows.

At midday he found some commotion in the shoals and his curiosity was piqued. Some wild fish, colored similarly to him but shaped more spear-like, were dancing together. It looked like fun. The sunlight filtering through the disturbed water's surface was cavorting on the shiny bodies as beautifully as any club's disco ball. He heard no music, so he waited to see if he could pick up on the rhythm they followed. Subtle fin movements brought the opening drum line of Aerosmith's "Walk this Way" to his mind and he became rather excited. He echoed the beat in this throat a little like he often did in the kitchen, bobbing a bit in time. When the males sensed him near, they became competitive and aggressive, but fantastic Minion would have nothing of it. He was there to dance and no Earthly punk was going to tell him he couldn't. He saw one female whose sleek body was so strangely attractive to him, she was fierce and feminine and unafraid of him. She hovered, then bent her body like a sideways metronome. In his mind the lead guitar ground out it's opening notes, harmonizing with the drums as he made his advance.

He didn't get all the words right, but she didn't seem to care. She was watching him and kept up with his jazzy scat singing. He swelled with pride as he brushed her scales. He broke from scat to the parts he knew "wasn't me she was foolin' cause she knew what she was doin' and I knowed love was here to stay when she told me to Walk This Waaay.. (neaoh neaoh) talk this way (neaoh neaoh) Walk This Waaay.. (neaoh neaoh) talk this way (neaoh neaoh) Just gimme a kiss!" and he smiled a huge toothy grin right in her face.

"What's your name?" he asked her over the music in his head. She only smiled and showed her teeth, then slid her body along his lateral line, making his pulse race and bio-luminescent nodes gleam. This weightlessness was way better than clubbing in his Gorilla suit with Megamind, but he'd never say that out loud. He didn't notice the other males had disappeared, gone to find other smaller females to seduce. He was thoroughly enjoying his mysterious partner. He'd never been this close to another fish for any reason other than eating them, and he didn't play with his food.

After the second day of following "Silent Lucy" around to see how she lived and have bouts of random dancing, he began to think things might not work out between them. She only passively listened to him talking about his favorite songs and cuisines and contraptions he had built. Everything came down to getting down, and he didn't want to be just an object of animal desire, though he was aware of the irony in that thought.

When Minion did not come home for a few nights, Megamind had worried only because Minion's implanted transmitter was not responding. He knew the superior intellect and formidable teeth of his friend would get him out of any trouble he might find.

Finally, on the third morning, "I'm home." Minion announced in a happily exhausted voice. Brainbots welcomed him before he heard the sleepy shuffles in the domestic corner of the lair.

"And where were you for so long? Did you turn off your transmitter or is it on the fritz?"

"Oh I was out in the lake. I met some wild fish and thought I'd get in touch with my baser side. There's this one I call Silent Lucy, cause she doesn't say much... well not with her mouth... well, okay, she communicates effectively, but not the way I'm accustomed to..." The fish was actually kind of blushing.

"You met Someone?" Megamind echoed, about to start teasing him before Roxanne appeared and put her hand on his arm.

"Tell us about her!" Roxanne begged, peeling a banana to slice over some pancakes.

"Well... You know how you two get all lost in your own little world around here sometimes?" Minion began sheepishly. An apologetic smirk crossed both their faces. "It was kind of like that. She's built like a Ferrari, all sleek and shiny and her spots and stripes and ooooh so long lateral lines, the cutest shaped caudal fins... and her teeth! (sigh)" his eyes rolled upwards as a dreamy smile inhabited his face.

"I kind of like your caudal fins." Megamind muttered to Roxanne. She smacked him, eager to hear more.

"And..?"

"We danced. A lot. It was like a neverending club-hopping weekend in a way, except I had to be the DJ because there was no music down there..." His expression changed then, like an epiphany had just hit him recently. "But there's more to life than just that. She didn't seem interested in our inventions really, or cooking, or... well anyway. I told her I was off to find some breakfast and came back to my suit."

"You just left her?"

"Is that bad? I don't mind being friends, but I just don't think anything long term is going to come of it. As attractive and exciting as she is, she's just too shallow for me."

"Well, you could have told her that instead of lying to her," Roxanne gave a meaningful glance at Megamind, "but it seems like she wouldn't have cared too much if she is how you say she is."

They were proud of him for going out and taking risks and getting his fins wet in the romance department. About a year went by before it was brought up again. Roxanne heard over the cubicle walls some coworkers mention a mysterious invasive species of fish in the Great Lakes. She popped up like a prairie dog to ask their sources and was directed to the Department of Fish and Game, of course.

She got a notepad and wrote "Invasive Species" at the top, underlined twice. Sinking into her office chair she poured over the data collected so far and began to put two-and-two together. She made notes as she read and found other links to shoddy camera phone videos.

One video made her chuckle in particular. Some good ol' boys were floating in an aluminum boat near some reeds and reeling in a muskellunge, which fought in the usual way. Suddenly the water boiled up behind it, from the open water side, and a dark backed fish with glowing bumps slapped the water aggressively. The fishermen exclaimed some choice words as that muskie, fighting to stay in the water a moment ago, was now all too glad to jump into the net and get out of the water. "OOOooo-eee! WHAT was THAT!" they laughed as the camera phone went from the gasping fish to the now still water.

Another video followed a man reeling in what he felt to be a real trophy fish. When his catch broke the water's surface he found most of the fight had been the huge set of teeth attached to the back end of his fish. The predator, attracted by the distress of the hooked fish, had eaten almost half of his catch before he'd even seen it. All one could see in the video of the invasive species fish was the teeth and head just below the water's surface, then it disappeared.

Defies professional fishermen?
No one can get a good photo :(
Muskies and Pike afraid of it XD
Guards schools of baitfish?
Elongated dark body with light markings (like pike)
Bumps that seem to glow when excited (NOT like pike)
Large visible teeth

She wanted to follow this intimately, but did not want to cover it herself. She didn't want to draw attention to the almost anonymous alien fish. If he wanted to come out, that was his decision. For now, the issue was an unnamed species with some very curious behaviors. They were either the greatest freshwater thug evolution had ever produced, or the most brilliant aquatic manager. All of this knowledge came without any effort on their part, environmentalists and outdoor enthusiasts had done it all for them.

Minion was gobsmacked when he heard what Roxanne had learned. Seeing the amateur videos that had been reposted on all kinds of sites left him certain that it involved him and confused at the same time. "How?" he asked no one in particular.

"What did you say you two were doing?" Roxanne asked him carefully, so as to not embarrass the Piscean patsy. Hearing his recollection, she delicately endeavored to educate him...

Despite this new knowledge, Minion had held fast to his preference for human companionship and occupations. He had a secret crush which paired two passions in one person: Cat Cora, the American Iron Chef. He knew a physical union was improbable, but was willing to sacrifice that to some degree. More realistically, he had a girlfriend he had met at the culinary institute he enjoyed spending time with.

Megamind wanted to know what his lifelong friend had spawned on this planet. Further, closer observation of the aquatic anomaly was absolutely called for. He told Minion (rather than asking) that they would swim together all week if they had to until they had some answers. With some reservation, it was finally agreed that it would not change the life that he had created for himself above water, and there was nothing at risk.

Then... the hunt in the Great Black Hole (a closet the size of a two car garage) began for the scuba gear. The easiest to spot was the 4/3 wetsuit which hung properly, but required some digging through boxes to reach.

"Now tell me," Roxanne asked, unable to resist a little sarcasm, "how is that suit different from the ones you always used to wear?"

"I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer." Megamind muttered aside to Minion as he helped inventory the equipment.

Minion called over his furry shoulder, "The neoprene holster is the main thing." and he received an elbow jab.

"Want me to pack some sandwiches for you, my neoprene cowboy?"

He rolled his eyes. "They would turn into paste before I got hungry."

"Ever hear of ziplock bags?" she retorted. "And, I think I see a dry bag big enough for some lunch and a camera over there, too. The yellow thing."

Minion pointed at some yellow unidentifiable object.

"The other yellow thing. Up.."

"This isn't our first rodeo, my dear. We can handle ourselves..." Then seeing the yellow bag Minion's long arms easily reached for, he amended, "Do we have peanut butter and jelly?"