This chapter is canon, but I've added in my own ideas to what I believe they would be thinking and feeling.

****** - these mark the beginning and end of a flashback.

Hope you enjoy :)

Vulnerable - Chapter 1

Brendan's pov

He needed to get out of this hospital, the constant beeping and harsh lights were enough to give anyone a headache, let alone someone who'd been flung half way across a beach after an explosion. Of course the doctor wasn't having any of it:

'I'm afraid that what you want and what your body needs are two entirely different things.'

This couldn't be happening, Brendan would go insane if he had to stay here any longer, he felt perfectly fine…well, as well as he could. In true Brendan Brady style it was time to get tough, he always got what he wanted….one way or another.

He grabbed the doctor by the lapels of his suit jacket, threatening that it would be a very bad idea if he didn't do as he asked. Instantly the man (he didn't bother to remember his name) became more feasible, stating that the only way he could be discharged were if someone at home were able to take over his care. This wasn't exactly what Brendan had intended, he didn't like to rely on anyone, especially when he had a name to live up to. Nobody saw his vulnerable side, well maybe Steven on occasion, but any time that did happen Brendan always made sure he instantly pushed him away, creating a barrier.

The image of Steven's face came in to his head at this thought, giving him an idea. Since Cheryl won't talk to him, the only other person he could possibly rely on would be Steven. Steven was with Doug now, but Brendan knew the boy still held a flame for him, they were unfinished business, the pair of them. Every day until I'm in my grave you'll always be in my head. That statement still stood….always would, and they both knew it.

Ste's pov

Ste closed his eyes and tried to focus on being here with Doug, on being happy, not letting his mind wander to other things, or more like other people which was more often than not.

Ste could taste Doug's coffee breath as their lips met and he tried to part Ste's lips with his tongue.

'Happy engagement' he cheerily mumbled as they pulled apart.

Ste smiled at the reminder. He was definitely happy to be getting married to Doug, he'd be lying if he said he wasn't, but he couldn't get rid of a nagging feeling in the back of his mind that was telling him something was missing. He had to focus on the present now though, and also the future ahead that Doug could offer him. He had stability with Doug, someone that he knew would always be there for him to come home to. They would raise the kids together like a proper family, like the family he'd never had when he was growing up. If he could offer that to his kids, then he knew he was doing something right.

His phone ringing cut in to his thoughts.

'Saved by the bell!' Doug chimed in his usual sarcastic tone. Ste knew that that meant it could only be one person that was ringing.

'Brendan!'

Doug started twittering on about letting Brendan know about their engagement, but Ste couldn't deal with that right now. The truth was, he'd already paid Brendan a visit in hospital to tell him, wanted it to come from his own mouth. Doug didn't know of course, was best not to tell him Ste decided, would only cause trouble, especially after the way he'd reacted at even a hint of Ste's concern for Brendan when Cheryl had come in to the deli, lines of worry etched all over her face, she looked like she hadn't slept in days.

****** The sight of Brendan in that hospital bed had brought a lump to Ste's throat, reminded him of the time it was his fault Brendan was in hospital, a time he'd rather forget. He'd never seen him looking so vulnerable, like a lost little boy with puppy dog eyes who needed someone to take care of him.

Ste didn't know how he was going to do it, tell Brendan about the engagement, but it had to be done otherwise it would only be a matter of time before he found out via someone else, and that definitely wasn't going to happen.

He couldn't look him in the eyes when he told him, could sense Brendan tensing and couldn't bring himself to witness the expression he knew Brendan would be wearing. He started backtracking like he always does in an awkward situation, stating that obviously the engagement were to Doug. He knew that Brendan could see straight through it, knew how nervous he was, and how they were both secretly dying inside. This was only confirmed when he finally allowed himself to view the pained expression written all over Brendan's face. Ste wanted nothing more than to embrace him, take the pain away and explain why he had to do this, but of course he couldn't, he had to be stubborn now, had to remind himself that there could never be a future with Brendan.

Brendan offered a congratulations which sounded more like a question, he obviously wasn't sure how Ste was expecting him to react, didn't know which side of himself to show. He didn't have to show anything though, Ste could read him like a book, all the more reason for him to make a quick exit.

Before he could even decide himself to leave, Brendan made the decision for him:

'You should go now….please?'

It started off as a demand, and then turned in to a question, but overall it was a plead. Brendan was almost begging him to leave. Leave his sight so he didn't have to look Ste in the eyes anymore and pretend that everything was ok.

Ste knew the deal. Forced a breezy tone in to his voice and acted as though it was obvious that he should be leaving now, as though he needed to get back anyway. Part of him wanted to stay, but there was nothing left to say. He'd poured the salt in to Brendan's open wounds and now he had to leave, had to let Brendan writhe in his own agony and deal with it himself, in his own way.

It was lucky that Ste had left, he didn't have to witness the painful tear that was now rolling down Brendan's cheek. ******

He quickly answered the phone to the familiar way his name would be spoken in that Irish accent. After all that was said yesterday though, he couldn't understand why Brendan was now calling. He assumed that he'd never want to speak to him again. Would instantly distance himself like he was so good at doing. Ste tried to act nonchalant, after all, Doug was listening so he didn't want him to sense anything but indifference from the phone call.

Brendan was speaking in paradoxes making Ste impatient. He didn't have time for his games now, what did he want? He clearly wanted something, Brendan wasn't the kind of guy who rang for idle chit chat.

Brendan's pov

He knew that he'd win Steven over. He thought that he'd never want to see the boy again after he found out he was marrying that pathetic Douglas, but who was he kidding? He would never be able to completely cut Steven out of his life, Steven was his own personal brand of heroin. He knew deep down that eventually he would find some excuse to see him, just didn't realise that it would literally be the day after, wounds still open and sore.

It was the oddest thing, having Steven helping him through the door whilst he was sat helpless in a wheelchair. He felt like a baby again, stuck in a pram. Luckily no one else from the village was around to witness this, would have done some serious damage to his street cred.

The house was so quiet without Cheryl, it should have been her bringing Brendan home, bustling about the house making sure he had everything he needed, plying him with copious amounts of fuss and unwanted attention.

As if reading his mind Steven asked:

'Why me?'

Steven knew about Cheryl's refusal to be anywhere near him, obviously didn't know the horrific details that accompanied the reason for that (he'd be running a mile too if he'd witnessed Brendan butchering another human being. Anyone would.) But then he stuck the knife in without even realising what he was doing.

'Why didn't you call your weird mate Walker?' He asked.

If only Steven knew the very reason why he could not, and certainly would not call upon that "weird mate."

Brendan tried to brush Steven off as he continued to ask an array of questions. He had to keep him in the dark, he had to keep Steven out of this…keep him safe.

Sensing that he wasn't getting anywhere Steven started trying the hard done by card, irresistibly pouting and suggesting that Brendan only rang him because there was no one else left. This was, to some extent true, but Steven, along with Cheryl and his kids would always be his number one priority. Whether they were together or not was irrelevant, Brendan was always pulled in the direction that Steven was, he could not deny the hold that the boy had over him, and would spend the rest of his life following him to the ends of the earth, even just for a glimpse of what he could have had.

'You're always front of the queue Steven, you know that.'

Steven was here, standing right in front of him. Even if he was wearing that ridiculous pink patterned shirt, Brendan wouldn't have cared if he was dressed in a banana costume, the fact that he'd gone out of his way to make sure Brendan was ok was making his heart beat faster. The boy's presence did funny things to him, and before he knew it, Brendan was following this statement with:

'In the bedroom.'

Oh my god! What was he thinking? Smart move dumbo! Now you really have gone and put your foot in it.

Before the look of shock and confusion spread any further across Steven's face he managed to dig himself out of a very big hole.

'I, I mean, in the, in the bedroom…bedside table, there's an envelope….last thing I'll ask of ye.'

The hesitation and tone of awkwardness wouldn't have gone unnoticed with Steven he was sure, but all he could do now was brush it off and ignore the wary looks he was getting. Steven was just here to help him out of hospital, that was all, nothing else, he must remember that.