Summary: This is the story of a girl. A girl who simply didn't fit in. A girl who always tried to do her best, but in turn just made everything a bigger mess. She finally just gave up on life. She realized that it didn't matter what she did, everything just thought she was a screw up, so a screw up is what she became. That is, until she met Spencer Carlin.
A/N: Ashley's thought are in italic.
CHAPTER ONE :
(Ashley's POV)
"I just don't understand Ashley, you have such potential that you just don't use. You could easily be getting amazing grades, and instead you are failing classes and you are in my office almost everyday." Mrs. Koepp was an amazing dean, she had let everything go until she had no choice but to start with the "tough love" is how she put it.
I am currently in the Deans office for class disruption, or maybe insubordination…I don't really know. I get sent up here so much, I don't even know why half of the time.
"I am sorry. I don't know why I do what I do, but I cant help it. I will try and do better. Can I go now?" I say, repeating the same thing I say almost every time.
"I am sorry Ashley, but I cant keep letting these things slide. I am going to have to suspend you. But I will only put you on one day suspension. Your dad has given you permission to walk home from school, so you will leave now, and then you can return on Monday. The last four classes you are missing will count as the day of suspension."
I walk out of the office and out of the school. I know I am not going home. I never go home unless I have to. I walk across the street and buy an Arizona Iced Tea, and then go to the park next to the school.
My name is Ashley Davies. I am fifteen years old. I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. I am also a social outcast. Sure I have friends, but not many anymore. I am a freshman in high school. I have an alcoholic father, a non-existent gold-digging mother trying to buy my love, and a broken heart. I will try and tell you about myself.
Lets start from sixth grade. I was on my fifth school of the year, and I had moved from my home town of Las Vegas to Arizona. My dad thought it would be fun to take me out of school and take me to California for a vacation when he got his tax returns. I spent a month in a hotel room, at Disneyland everyday. Sure it sounds like a kids dream, and it was fun for a while. But I was in Disneyland by myself while my dad got drunk in the hotel room. That isn't as fun as it sounds. Then my dad found out I had no idea what my mother looked like, and called her up. She came and got me, and by force, I lived with her for the last month of sixth grade.
Then came seventh grade. I was living with my dad again. I hated switching schools so I made him let me stay at the same school I went to when I lived with my mom. I was doing good in school, my dad stopped drinking, he had a nice job, and I was the star of the basketball team. Life was perfect, and so were my grades. I was popular and having the time of my life.
The summer break between seventh and eighth grade was spent at my brothers apartment with his deaf girlfriend. He was not related by blood, but he was my brother. I loved him like a brother, and he called me his sister. His girlfriend taught me sign language that summer. That was also the summer I told my brother I was a lesbian.
Eighth grade came along and I was still going to the same school. I decided I hated basketball, and didn't want to play. The school said that if I didn't they would kick me out, because I was on a zone-variance. I played until I got kicked off the team for grades. While all that was going on, my dad got skin cancer, lost his job, got rid of the cancer, and started drinking again. Everyday I got yelled at about how I would amount to nothing, and never get into college without a basketball scholarship. I also became a social outcast minus a few friends of mine, after everyone had found out that I was a lesbian. My best friend moved toward the end of the school year all the way across the country.
The summer between eighth grade and freshman year in high school was pretty uneventful. I didn't do much, and me and my best friend lost a contact. Sure we still talked, but not much, and it was nothing like before.
Freshman year was supposed to be the best year ever. It was going to be different. I came into school had a nice tight nit group of friends, and fell in love. Her name was Summer Hiett. We became best friends and connected at the hip. I basically lived with her. She became extremely bipolar and we were on again off again friends. But I stuck by her. I lost many friends because of that, because so many people hated her. I didn't care because I loved her. Then on November 15, 2009 she left and moved back to Texas at 5:10 am. I went into severe depression and tried to kill myself. I didn't succeed. My friends stopped me. I got out of my depression, but I wasn't living. I was just breathing. I went back into the role I was meant to play. Then slowly I lost many friends. I didn't know why.
Then I started talking to a girl I liked in eighth grade and we became friends. It was great. But she knew I liked her. Winter break came, and on Christmas I got a call from her. She asked me to be her girlfriend. I didn't believe her, but after 15 minutes of her telling me she was serious, I said yes. The next day when we hung out I found out it was her friend pretending to be her, and she went a long with it. But she didn't tell me, she told my friend who told me. And then winter break ended. I went through school fighting with her. Finally a week ago we made up, we are friends again. But that still leaves me here.
Where ever I am. Because I honestly have no idea where that is. I am just me. Just a fuck up. Just a loser with no dreams or aspirations. And I am also a vegetarian as of 2 days ago.
A/N: So thats the first chapter. I am not really sure as to what I am doing with this. I am just kind of "winging it." haha. So I might post another chapter tonight, maybe not. I dont know. So please review. Any feedback is appreciated(:
