Chapter One: an accidental aberration
ENOUGH ! we're tired, my heart and I.
We sit beside the headstone thus,
And wish that name were carved for us.
The moss reprints more tenderly
The hard types of the mason's knife,
As heaven's sweet life renews earth's life
With which we're tired, my heart and I.
She didn't know the exact moment when things had begun to change.
Looking back she's certain there must've been signs. She's not sure if she just missed them due to her naiveté or if perhaps they hadn't been obvious at all, but she thinks there must've been something.
But she was certain that for a while she'd been as happy as she'd ever dreamed. Proved that fairy tales do exist.
Or perhaps that ignorance is indeed bliss.
Newly married to a loving, wonderful man, she had a great career and more happiness to look forward to in the years to come. She'd overcome years of cynicism to get where was and she'd felt beyond blessed to have what she did. Felt that in some way she'd finally earned the right to be happy.
But somewhere along the way it had all gone terribly wrong. And she didn't have a clue as to when, how or why it had happened.
Chloe had met Jack during her first year of college. He was tall, well over six feet, with thick blonde hair and deep blue eyes, and a lithe body that would catch the attention of a nun. He was older than her, a grad student at the time, and he'd treated her with more kindness and respect than she'd ever gotten before. And she liked it. A lot.
They'd hung out often and quickly became good friends. But before long things had escalated beyond friendship because Jack had started to treat her like no other man had.
Like that of a desirable, beautiful woman.
At first Chloe had been leery of the shift in Jack's attentions. She'd put him off for over a month, refusing his date invites and making sure to never be alone with him. It wasn't that she didn't like him, she did. She was just naturally wary due to many years of being led on and disappointed. She'd always been disappointed. That was a given.
By the time she'd finally accepted his request for a date, she'd been sure his advances were real. Was certain that he sincerely wanted her for herself and didn't consider her to be a mere conquest or another notch in his bedpost. Had finally talked herself into taking the chance that she wasn't wrong about him.
He'd taken her to a nice restaurant, was attentive and charming for the entire evening. Made sure she knew exactly what kind of relationship he wanted with her. Something honest and real. Long-term. Forever.
At first his declaration had worried her, but as the night progressed she'd realized that he was just being honest with her and there was nothing to be frightened of. It was something that was completely new to her but she'd been determined to give it a chance. Didn't want to be a coward and lose something that could be wonderful.
She'd fucked his brains out later that night.
Her animalistic behavior had surprised him. He'd asked to walk her back to her dorm, but she'd requested that they continue on to his place, using the excuse of wanting to learn more about him by scoping out his environment. He'd laughed, agreeing that you can tell a lot about someone by checking out the way they lived.
Maybe that was the first sign she missed.
He'd lived in a nice two bedroom apartment, in a nice neighborhood not far from Met U. The place had seemed normal enough, neat and clean with nice furnishings and a few paintings on the walls.
Thinking back on it she realized that it was perhaps too clean. Too neat. The paintings on the walls too expensive for a simple graduate student.
The door had barely closed before she was on him, pressing him back against the door and claiming his mouth with hers. He'd gasped as his head connected with the door and she'd taken advantage of his shock by plunging her tongue between his teeth, exploring the hot depths of his mouth as she wanted.
It had only taken a few moments for him to catch on. He'd grabbed her, pulling her tight against his body and quickly switching their positions. He'd pressed her against the door, his hand cupping the back of her head as he'd devoured her mouth.
She didn't back down, her lips and tongue and teeth just as demanding as his. She'd given as good as she got, rubbing her breasts on his chest and her hip on the bulge in his pants, letting her body tell him what she wanted.
He'd grunted a lot, small guttural sounds of pleasure reverberating from his throat as he kissed her. His hips had moved against her, his hand tightening on her head as he held her in place.
With a frustrated groan she'd weaved a hand through his hair, tugging until he released her mouth. He'd stared down at her, his eyes burning with desire, his mouth open as he panted, waiting for her to answer the unasked question.
She'd reached for his belt, unfastening it and quickly opening his pants to her seeking hands. She'd pulled his cock out without much preamble. Stroked her fingers along his length then gripped him with one hand and cupped his balls with the other.
She'd smirked at him, licked her lips. Winked saucily.
He'd growled and pulled her to floor, pulling and pushing her skirt out of the way on the way down. Once he'd had her beneath him, he'd literally ripped her panties away from her body, his hands rough on her inner thighs, opening her for him, his lips and tongue wasting no time as he devoured her wet slit.
She'd moaned loudly at the first stroke of his tongue at her center. She'd cupped her breasts, squeezing and tweaking her nipples as he worked her over with his mouth, licking and sucking her sensitive intimate flesh almost frantically.
She'd gripped his hair in her hands, pulling his head closer and rubbing her throbbing arousal on his face. Begged him for her release. Pleaded for him to finish her off. Demanded that he fuck her as hard and fast as he could.
He'd used his mouth and hands to make her come twice before he finally gave in, moving up her body without an ounce of hesitation and sheathing his hard substance in her wet depths.
They'd thrashed around on the floor, arms and legs tangled, hands stroking and squeezing as he gave her what she demanded. His cock pounding into her, pushing her swiftly towards yet another orgasm.
She'd screamed with it. Nails raking down his back to dig into the firm flesh of his ass and she'd pulled her legs up, forcing him even deeper inside her. She'd pumped her hips, the sensation of her clit rubbing on the base of his cock drawing out the spasms of her body until he'd cursed loudly, gutturally. Felt the hot, tremor of his release inside her.
It hadn't been the romantic coupling of a fairy tale. It probably hadn't been romantic at all, just two like-minded people fucking on the hardwood floor of his living room. But it had been honest and real and it had meant something to them.
Or at least at the time it had felt as such.
Things had gone on nicely from there. She'd spent her four years of college as the other half of the quintessential perfect couple, and she'd never thought twice about where their relationship would end up. Never thought for a moment that they didn't have forever. Was perfectly content exactly where she was. With him.
By the time she'd gotten a job at the Daily Planet, they'd started to share everything. Living space, closet space, friends and family. There was never any talk of I, they referred to everything in terms of we and us, and both of them were happy with the honesty they maintained.
In almost everything.
There were a few things they didn't share. There were strange phone numbers that always remained ambiguous. Email accounts that remained secret and out of reach. Simple, unthreatening entities that no one cared to question because they just didn't matter.
Everyone had to have something private. Everyone needed a confidante, of sorts.
Chloe never knew who Jack confided in. Didn't care as long as Jack didn't comment on her choice of friends. There was nothing underhanded going on thus there was no reason for either of them to be suspicious.
Whether he liked her friends or not he always let her come and go as she pleased. That was her right and he'd never tried to control her.
Even when it came to Lex Luthor.
Chloe often wondered how she'd managed to salvage her friendship with Lex. Often pondered the irony of her last remaining link to Smallville. Even after everyone else had deserted nostalgia, she and Lex had always remained the same. There was no mystery behind their actions and reactions. They both stuck to the basic elements of their individual natures, no matter what the consequences.
And it just happened that Jack disliked Lex as much as Lex disliked Jack.
At one point Chloe considered it a ridiculous cockfight between two people who simply wanted the best for her. Then this shifted to complete annoyance at not being able to share her life with her two favorite people at the same time.
Lex never said anything outwardly offensive about Jack, just stated that he didn't trust him and never would. Told her that the only constant in her life was and always would be him. Jack can go fuck himself.
And Jack pretty much said the same thing. Almost verbatim, just with the names switched around to suit him. It was stupid, but unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
Eventually Chloe's annoyance shifted to mild amusement. She loved Jack and she loved Lex, but she didn't love Lex the same way she loved Jack. Jack was her lover. Lex was not. And she hadn't thought of Lex in a sexual way for years.
At least not seriously.
She tried not to think about it too much because in the end wondering why and how they remained friends seemed unimportant. It just was and there was nothing to be done about it. Both men accepted the other because they had no other choice. Deal with it or beat it.
Eventually Chloe and Jack ended up at the altar – or, to be more specific– a 24 hour "church" in Las Vegas.
Their elopement had been swift to say the least. She'd randomly mentioned something about marriage and Jack had jumped on the idea. He'd talked her into it quickly, stating that he loved her and wanted to marry her more than anything else in the world.
And she'd fallen for it more quickly than she liked to admit. Even to herself.
They'd flown to Las Vegas the very next day and returned a few days later, Jack to a now overloaded work schedule and Chloe to a very irate Lex.
She'd met Lex for lunch the day after their return, the pinched look on his face telling of his opinion of her recent nuptials. He'd been furious. So furious he almost couldn't even speak to her. Barely said anything at all, just made it known that he's wished she'd have mentioned it beforehand. Maybe then he could've had the chance to tell her something that might've changed her mind. Then she wouldn't have gotten involved in something she might not be happy about being involved in.
Everyone has their secrets, Chloe, even your beloved fantasy of Jack.
He'd refused to elaborate on what that something might be because it was too late for that. What was done was done; so be it.
He'd left before lunch was over and she'd been relieved. Couldn't take anymore of the fake politeness. Wanted her old Lex back. Was crushed when she couldn't think of an easy way to get what she wanted.
That had been just a few weeks ago.
It was earlier that morning when the other shoe had dropped. In the span of a few brief hours Chloe's potentially perfect life had taken a serious turn for the worst. It had seemingly disintegrated right before her eyes, like a nightmare unfolding. Jack had called her the evening before, told her that he had to work late, that he might even be gone all night. She hadn't thought much of it, was used to his job taking him away for days at a time, so she wasn't worried or concerned at all. That's why she was so shocked when she opened her door to several uniformed police officers. Thought she might pass out when they told her they thought her husband's body had been found during the night and they needed her to ID the body. She'd numbly followed them outside, got into their car and let them take her to the morgue. Prayed that it wouldn't be him, all the while knowing in her gut that it was over. Her fairy tale was irrevocably shattered. Gone. Chloe gasped as she entered the morgue, the vision before her almost that of a dream. She'd wanted to call him. Had dialed the number several times on the way there, but had changed her mind and closed the phone before it rang. Couldn't even begin to imagine what he was doing here. He walked towards her as soon as he saw her, pulling her into his embrace. "Chloe," Lex said softly, tightening his arms around her. "I've been waiting for you." She tensed, her need for the truth warring with her need to be comforted. "What are you doing here, Lex? How'd you know I'd be here? What's going on?" Lex pulled back some, keeping his arm around her shoulders comfortingly. "I'm rather well-known in Metropolis, Chloe, and most of those who know me know that we're friends. The police chief called me and asked me to come in. He didn't think you should be here alone" That made sense to her so she didn't press him. Instead swallowed past the lump in her throat, asked. "Is it him? Is it Jack?" He didn't respond immediately, just tightened his hold on her and squinted. "You're his wife, Chloe. You have to ID the body." "What if I can't? What if I'm not strong enough?" she was shaking now, the only thing keeping her on her feet was Lex's strong support beside her. Lex gathered her closer, let her sag against him. "Then I'll help you." She nodded, her throat too clogged with repressed fear to speak. She leaned on him as he led her across the room and through a doorway. Gripped his wrists in her shaking hands as they stopped in front of a television screen. "What's going on?" she asked breathlessly, the screen confusing her. Wondered where her Jack was. "They're going to show his face on the screen." He answered quietly, his hands rubbing her shoulders reassuringly. "You should be able to recognize him enough that way." "Why can't I go in? Why can't I see him?" she felt overwhelmed and afraid. Wonders if the bile will make it up her throat. Wonders how it will look spattered on the wall in front of them. "Chloe," Lex's voice is strained, his grip on her tightening to the point she's sure she can hear her bones creaking. "You don't…just trust me on this…you don't…" He shook his head, and she looked up at him, the tight thin line of his lips telling here everything she needs to know. She wanted to scream. To lash out at anyone and everything. Wants for someone to wake her up so she can go home. "Ms. Sullivan?" She's startled, her eyes flitting towards the sound of the voice. She never had a chance to change her name. Wasn't really sure she would anyway. The screen lights up and suddenly she's gaping at an ashen face. A face she's seen take on so many different emotions she thought she should be more prepared for this. She's not. She's breaking. "Oh God," she whimpered, her knees giving way completely, leaving her at the mercy of the strong arms around her. "Oh God, no. No…no…no…no…no…no…" She can't stop saying it, just continues to stare at what's left of her husband's face, the words continuously falling from her quivering lips. "Ms. Sullivan," the voices repeats. "Is this your husband?" She can't bring herself to say it. Just keeps repeating her mantra of denial, keeps leaning on Lex, pretends that her entire world is crumbling before her. She can hear Lex behind her, feels his breath on her hair as he whispers nothingness. She tried to stand up on her own, to support her own weight, but her legs refuse to respond. Lex's hands continued to hold her, to help her. Her solid link to reality. "It's okay, Chloe," Lex whispered. "Everything's going to be okay. Just let it out. I've got you. Just let it out. I won't let go." She heard a strange humming sound, looks around, tries to place where it's coming from. Realized too late that it's coming from somewhere inside her. Realized she's falling just as her world goes black.