I can't believe what just happened. She was right there. Waiting for me to get on the plane. She's gone.

There is nothing running through my mind except the image of what just happened. I put my hand to my face and it comes away wet. Wet? Oh, I'm crying.

This realization brings back to the world a little bit. I can hear Peter's voice. I can't tell what he's saying. Everything's blurry. Why is everything blurry? Oh yeah.

I'm crying. I wipe my eyes and I see Peter's face. He looks worried and upset. About what? Oh yeah. He's worried about me. He just said that he cares about me.

What do I do now, now that Ka… she is gone? My whole reason to get out of jail was to find Ka… her.

God, I can't even say her name.

I look back up at Peter. I want to say so many things. I want to scream. I want to sob.

But all I say in a quiet voice is, "…Peter…"

At that Peter pulls me into a hug whispering words which are probably comforting. I still can't tell what he's saying.

I look down at my hand when I feel some warm liquid running down my hand.

It's blood. I must have scraped my hand after I fell from the explosion.

"My hands…" I hear myself say softly.

Peter pulls away and looks down. He says something else. A few words get through.

"…here… clean…water…"

He pulls a bottle of water from his car. Wait, his car?

How did we get to Peter's car? He must have brought me here. I didn't even notice walking over.

He takes off the cap and pours the water into my hands. It feels nice and cool.

He opens the car door and helps me into the passenger seat. I just sit there looking at him, looking through him as he buckles me in. He closes the door, goes to the driver's seat, and turns the key.

I jump a little as the ca rumbles under me. As I sit there Peter is still speaking to me.

"…going home…okay…don't worry…"

More thoughts race through my mind.

She's gone.

She's gone.

I should have been with her. I should be dead too.

All of the sudden Peter's angry voice and the sound of the car screeching to a halt breaks through my personal bubble.

Don't you dare say that Neal! You should not be dead! You are alive and you are going to stay that way for a long time!"

I must have said that last part out loud. He sounds really angry now. His voice snaps me out of my previously shocked state.

"But what should I do Peter? He's gone and I didn't stop it. I should have done something to help her. Or I shouldn't be alive."

"No Neal. There are many people who would be devastated if you were dead. Think of Elizabeth, June, and Mozzie. How would they react if they found out you were dead. Elizabeth and June would never stop crying. And I…"

Peter pauses looking unsure of what he wants to say. I look at him hopefully. What about him? Does he care?

"And I… would miss you too. You've become my friend. I wouldn't want you to be dead."

And at that I smile a little. And there is a little hope. 'Cause I'm not alone and I have Peter and Mozzie to help me out. I'm not alone