A/N: This started out as a one-shot but it got waaay too long so I split it up into 6 parts. They're all complete so I'll try and post one every day(ish)! The title of the fic is from the song This Is Beautiful by Tyrone Wells :) I did a fanvid to it a while back, my youtube username is kellylouiseyeahx for anyone who hasn't watched my vids!
Basically this is an alternative 4x17, it's pretty self explanatory (Y) Reviews would be amazing :D
You Set Off Avalanches In My Heart
Part 1/6
~x~
Addison curled up on the lounger on her deck pulling her woollen jacket tighter around herself as the evening breeze brushed against her skin, she heard him before she saw him, heard his footsteps coming closer, she looked up a little as he sat down opposite her.
"How are you feeling?" he asked quietly, his voice still more formal than had ever been between them.
"Fine" she said quietly, she lowered her head a little as she felt a few tears form.
"Hey" he said reaching out and resting his hand on her arm "What's wrong?"
"Nothing" Addison said trying to muster a smile "I'm fine"
"Then why are you crying?" Sam asked softly.
"I took a pregnancy test today" she sniffled, sitting up and wrapping her arms around her legs "I just thought, I might as well rule it out completely, and Amelia was bugging me about it so, I took a pregnancy test….it was positive Sam" she whispered.
"What?" Sam asked quietly "But I thought…"
"So did I but, it was positive" she said with a small smile, hope swimming in her eyes.
"How many did you do?" Sam asked "I mean those things aren't the most reliable tests and, maybe you should take some blood or…."
"I'm pregnant Sam" Addison said simply "God you can't even pretend to be happy can you?" she sighed, standing up and running a hand through her hair.
"I just want…." he started.
"I am having a baby, your baby, whether you're in or you're out, I'm having this baby, but don't even bother staying out of obligation, my baby will be loved, and wanted, and will have everything it deserves, with or without you" she turned away from him and walked back into her house, closing the patio doors firmly and clicking the lock.
~x~
"Addie?" Amelia said knocking on Addison's bedroom door the following morning, when she received no reply she opened the door slowly, she frowned when she saw an empty bed but then heard the sound of retching, she moved quickly through to the bathroom and slipped onto her knees beside Addison, she scooped up her hair in one hand and rubbed her back with the other.
"Thanks" Addison mumbled as she sat up and wiped her mouth with some tissue and flushed the toilet "Ugh, I hate this"
"Looks like I'm adding ginger ale and crackers to this weeks grocery list" Amelia said with a small smirk.
"I don't think anything will help this" Addison groaned, moving to lean against the bathroom wall, her hand coming to her stomach.
"It'll all be worth it when you have the baby" Amelia smiled "Except for when it poops, and pukes, and does all the disgusting baby things"
"I'm guessing you won't be babysitting then" Addison laughed.
"I might make an exception for this baby"
"I'm gonna need all the help I can get" Addison said pulling herself to her feet and moving over to the sink to wash her mouth out "I don't think he's gonna be there Amelia"
"Did he say that?" Amelia asked.
"He didn't have to, he couldn't even fake happiness about it, he just kept asking about doing a more reliable test, I told him he's either in or out, but he can't stay out of obligation"
"Well that's fair" Amelia nodded "I really think he'll step up Addie, he loves you, I mean you guys are, you work, I know you've had a crazy couple of weeks but, you do work, I wouldn't have bugged you both so much about being together if I didn't think you'd work" she said with a slight laugh "And whether you like it or not he's gonna be part of this kids life, even if he's not there, because one day this kid will be asking who their Dad is, and you're going to have to tell them"
"I know" Addison sighed "Amy I don't want to do this alone" she said tearfully "I thought I could, I was, I was going to before but now, I don't want to do this without him"
"You won't be" Amelia said hugging her "I know it, he just needs a little time"
"I hope so" Addison whispered.
"Wanna take the day off? They all think you've got the flu, I can pretend I caught it and we can stay here and watch movies all day"
"You don't have to stay with me" Addison sniffled.
"I'd much rather be here with you" Amelia smiled "I'll go call the practice, you go back to bed for a little while, you gotta keep well rested now, no more working yourself into the ground"
"Yes ma'am" Addison said with a mock salute.
~x~
"He'll call" Amelia said quietly when she noticed Addison glancing out of the kitchen window to Sam's house that evening "He will"
"Come to the scan with me tomorrow?" Addison said turning to face her "I made an appointment with an OB at St Ambrose"
"Shouldn't you tell…."
"Will you come?" Addison asked, completely ignoring her.
"Of course I will" Amelia said with a small smile.
~x~
"Dr Montgomery" Dr Adam Baker smiled as he walked into the exam room where Addison sat waiting on exam table, Amelia sat on the chair next to her.
"Please Dr Baker, it's Addison" Addison said with a small smile "This is my friend Amelia"
"Dr Amelia Shepherd, neurosurgeon" Amelia said with a flirting tone, holding out her hand for Adam to shake as she looked him up and down, Addison rolled her eyes a little.
"Pleasure to meet you" Adam smiled "Now, from the notes my nurse passed to me you think you're around 8 weeks?"
"Yeah" Addison nodded "It could be more, I haven't kept such a close eye on my cycle over the past couple of months, and well I was told a couple of years ago I only had 2 eggs left so this is all a little…."
"I understand" Adam said with a small smile "Well if you lie back and put your feet in the stirrups we'll get started"
Addison lay back on the bed and put her feet up in the stirrups, Amelia held her hand as the doctor inserted the probe and started to search for the foetus "Ok" he smiled "If you look, right there is the yolk sack, everything is looking very good, and because I have the very fancy high tech machine in this room, I can try and get a heartbeat for you, judging by the size I think you'll agree that the 8 week estimation is right on track, so it really will be a try"
"It's worth a shot right" Addison sighed, Adam clicked a few buttons and they watched as a heartbeat monitor appeared on the screen and seconds later the sound filtered through the room.
"Addie that's, that's amazing" Amelia smiled, squeezing her hand gently "My niece or nephew has a kick-ass heartbeat" she grinned, Addison laughed a little as tears formed in her eyes.
"God now I know what Callie meant when she said she was a hormone casserole" she sniffled, wiping tears from her eyes, accepting the tissues Adam passed to her.
"Everything looks as good as it can be" Adam smiled "If you go to the nurses station they can schedule your next appointment, now I know you have a very busy work life but you have to try and start slowing down soon, this pregnancy, well you know the risks you might face, I don't need to remind you"
"I'll be sure to keep her in check Dr Baker" Amelia smiled.
"I know what I'm doing Amelia" Addison said rolling her eyes a little "We need to get going, you have patients to get to"
"I know" Amelia sighed.
"Here are your pictures" Adam said passing Addison two copies of the scan "I'll see you soon"
"See you soon" Addison smiled, they all shook hands before they headed out towards the elevator.
"God Addison that's your baby" Amelia said as she took an ultrasound from her and inspected it closely.
"Put that away" Addison hissed "If anyone outside of that OB ward sees everyone will know"
"Fine" Amelia groaned, putting the picture in her bag.
"Addison Montgomery" Addison said as she answered her cell "What?" she asked with shock "Oh my god I, Richard I'll be there, I'll be there as soon as I can….ok, ok just try and keep her stable, I want someone watching that fetal monitor like a hawk, try and get Karev to do it, if he listened to anything I taught him he should be able to hold the fort…..ok, tell them to pick me up from St Ambrose Hospital…I'll see you soon, bye"
"What is it?" Amelia asked instantly.
"Callie and Arizona they, they were in a car accident and Callie, she's in a bad way, the OB didn't stop the contractions in time and, I need to go and help, a helicopter should be landing in less than an hour, I need to run home and get a few things, can you get someone to clear my schedule for the next week?"
"Sure, sure I will" Amelia nodded "Addie remember you need to think about you as well, don't get too stressed out"
"I know" Addison sighed "I'll call you ok, thank you for coming today"
"Anytime" Amelia smiled, she kissed Addison's cheek and watched her rush towards the nearest exit.
~x~
"Hey" Amelia said walking into the kitchen at Oceanside Wellness that lunchtime, dropping her bag onto the counter "So Addison's on her way to Seattle, her friend Callie was in a car accident and she's in pretty bad shape, her contractions have started and the baby is way too small to come out so, she could be out there for a while"
"Do they think they're going to be ok?" Pete asked.
"We didn't really get much chance to talk, Addison had to rush home to get a bag together before the helicopter arrived, but she'll keep me posted, I mean I practically grew up with the kids Dad"
"The one you slept with?" Violet smirked.
"Everyone's slept with Mark Sloan, it's like a right of passage" Amelia said with a slight laugh "And he is so worth it"
"Can we not talk about this?" Sam grumbled.
"Whatever" Amelia said flippantly "Anyway, who has food I can steal?"
"Have this" Sam said pushing the other half of his sandwich towards her "I don't really feel like eating anymore" he said quietly, when everyone else began talking again Amelia took the ultrasound picture from her bag and folded it a little, she reached over to the suit jacket on the back of Sam's chair and slipped the photo inside.
~x~
Sam walked into his house that evening and kicked off his shoes, he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, he took a sip before dipping his hands into his jacket pocket to take out his cell, he frowned a little as he felt a folded up photo, he pulled it out and opened it in his hands, it took a second to register what he was holding, he moved to the nearby table and lowered himself down onto one of the chairs, his eyes not leaving the picture in his hands.
~x~
1 week later.
"Hey" Addison smiled as she walked into Callie's hospital room "Arizona not here?"
"I made her go and sit with the baby, since I can't and all" Callie grumbled.
"Soon Cal" Addison said squeezing her hand a little "Anyway I just, I'm just here to say goodbye"
"Do you have to leave?" Callie sighed.
"Sorry sweetie, I wish I could stay longer" Addison said softly "I'll be back, I promise, and maybe when you and Sofia break out of here you could come and stay with me, I'd love to have you all over for a couple of days, and you could probably do with a vacation" she chuckled lightly.
"That sounds perfect" Callie smiled "Thank you for coming"
"I would say anytime but I really don't wanna get another call saying you've gotten yourself into trouble" Addison smirked.
"Fair enough" Callie laughed "Addie, are you ever gonna tell me what I know you've wanted to tell me all week? I can always tell when you're hiding something"
"You can't tell anyone" Addison said quietly "Well, you can tell Arizona but, other than that you can't tell anyone until I say you can ok?"
"Ok" Callie nodded.
"I'm pregnant" Addison whispered "9 weeks"
"What?" Callie laughed "But I thought…."
"So did I" Addison said with a slight laugh "But then I was throwing up every morning and I skipped a period so Amelia made me take a test and, I'm pregnant, I'd literally just walked out of my first scan when I got the call about you" she said pulling it from her pocket to show her quickly.
"Wow Addie" Callie smiled "Congratulations….you and Sam must be so happy"
"I know I am" Addison said with a tentative smile.
"Is he….is he not?" Callie frowned "I know he said he wasn't ready but surely…."
"That's what I thought but, well if he was going to say he was in I would've expected a call by now" Addison sighed "It doesn't matter, I can do this without him, Amelia's there for me, she's pretty excited actually, and I'll have you right?"
"Of course you will" Callie said with a smile "Well I'm definitely coming to LA now, Sofia's going to need to meet her Aunt Addie's baby" Addison laughed a little and slipped the ultrasound into her bag "He'll come around Addison, Arizona did"
"Maybe" Addison said with a small smile "I've gotta get going, I need to say goodbye to some more people so…get well soon Cal" she said kissing her cheek.
"I will" Callie smiled "You keep me updated ok?"
"I will" Addison nodded "Love you"
"Love you too"
~x~
Addison yawned as she walked into her house that evening, she dropped her bag to the floor, hung up her coat and kicked off her shoes, she stretched out a little and walked further into the house, having spoken to Amelia before the flight she knew she had the house to herself, or so she thought, she jumped a little and let out a slight scream as she saw Sam sat on her sofa.
"Jesus! Sam!" she said loudly "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you" he said quietly.
"What are you doing here?" Addison asked, folding her arms across her chest.
"I was waiting for you" he said as he stood up, keeping his distance from her "How are Callie and the baby?"
"Callie's fine and the baby's stable…what are you doing here Sam?" she asked again.
"I'm in" he said simply "Not out of obligation, not, not just because I love you, I'm in because I know we can do this, we can be a family, I'm not going to stand by and watch my child grow up right in front of me, I'm going to be there, for both of you, I promise"
"You have to be sure Sam" Addison said quietly, barely meeting his eyes "You have to be certain you want this, you've made promises before and…."
"I am certain" he said stepping closer to her "Amelia slipped the ultrasound picture into my pocket last week, everywhere I've gone it's been with me, even in surgery, I haven't been able to stop looking at it"
"You didn't think to call me sooner?" she sniffled, wiping tears from her eyes.
"And spoil the surprise?" he teased, Addison swatted him lightly on the arm "I'm so sorry Addie" he whispered "I'll do anything to make the past couple of weeks up to you, anything"
"You can start with a massage" she said quietly, a small smile gracing her lips "Head to toe, I'm aching everywhere"
"Ok" Sam nodded.
"Make sure you have ginger ale and crackers over at your place, I'm in no doubt Amelia's already stocked this place up, but you need some too"
"I can do that" Sam smiled.
"When I'm sick, which I am, a lot, don't just stand there like you did before, be with me even if you think I look gross, don't, don't leave me alone" she said quietly.
"I only left because I thought you were still mad at me" Sam sighed.
"I know" she nodded "I was still mad at you"
"And what about now?" he asked quietly "Are you still mad at me now?"
"I'm, I'm not mad, you're not back in my good books but I wouldn't say I was mad, I guess I just need to be able to trust you again"
"You can" he said kissing her gently "You can trust me, I'm not going anywhere"
"Ok" she whispered "Well, I was gonna head straight to bed, you're welcome to start on that head to toe massage"
"Ok" Sam said with a slight laugh, he kissed her gently and led her up to her bedroom.
~x~
"Ahhh" Amelia yelped as she walked into the house in the early hours of the morning and saw Sam walking down the stairs "God Sam, you scared the life out of me"
"Sorry" he chuckled "Addison woke up feeling nauseous, she wants some ginger ale"
"So you and her you're….everything's ok?"
"Everything's ok" Sam said with a small smile "But that doesn't mean you can start talking about it, 3 more weeks, 3 more weeks and we're telling"
"Fine" Amelia sighed "You better not screw this up Sam Bennett, you're like my inspirational couple, you can't screw this up or I'll never be happy and considering I'm your kids godmother you should make sure I'm happy right?"
"Right" Sam laughed "Get to bed Shepherd"
"Yes Daddy" Amelia smirked, Sam shook his head and chuckled to himself, she kissed his cheek and headed up the stairs.
~x~
"Feel better?" Sam asked quietly as Addison snuggled into him.
"Yeah" she said quietly "I'm sorry for waking you up"
"Hey, that's what I'm here for" he smiled.
"I'm scared Sam" she whispered.
"What about?" he asked, stroking her cheek gently.
"Everything" she said tearfully "What if this all goes wrong? What if, what if we mess us up again? What if everyone, everyone hates me even more and…"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hates you?" Sam he said with a frown "Why the hell do you think everyone hates you?"
"Naomi was their friend first" she sniffled "They say they're ok with us now but, if she leaves, they'll blame me, and this, this is just going to make everything worse, Naomi she, she'll never speak to me again Sam"
"Addison" he said softly "Everybody loves you, everybody, they have been so worried about you lately, after everything that's happened, I mean even Charlotte has been asking after you and she hardly ever asks about anyone" he said with a slight laugh "Her exact words when we were talking about joining you in Connecticut were 'we should absolutely go' they care Addison, all of them care, and I know, I know, they will support us through every step of this pregnancy. Nothing is going to go wrong ok? Our baby is in there" he said bringing his hand to her stomach "And they're gonna grow and be healthy and, and they're going to have the best mother in the world raising them"
"Now you're just trying to suck up" Addison sniffled with a tiny smile.
"Maybe a little" he smirked "But you understand what I'm saying right? Nobody hates you, nobody, not even Naomi, she's just, she's got a whole lot of emotions going on in her head but I know in time, in time she'll come to terms with this, you might not be best friends anymore, but she will never hate you, ok?"
"Ok" Addison nodded.
"Ok" Sam whispered, kissing her temple "Now try and get some more sleep baby"
"Mmhmm" Addison mumbled, her eyes already closing.
~x~
3 weeks later.
"Sam" Addison whispered as she tried to shake him awake "Sam, wake up"
"What?" he mumbled.
"Sam you're pressing against my bladder and I really need to pee"
"Oh, sorry" Sam said quickly sitting up, somehow he'd moved in his sleep and ended up lying half way down the bed with his head on Addison's stomach, Addison laughed a little and slipped out of the bed, after using the bathroom she climbed back into the bed and snuggled into his body.
"I couldn't have hurt the baby lying like that could I?" he asked worriedly.
"The baby is fine" Addison said kissing him gently "I'm more curious about how the hell you ended up lying like that anyway"
"I have no idea" Sam said with a slight laugh, his hand coming to brush against the small swell of her stomach "Are you not feeling nauseous?"
"No" Addison said with surprise "I think this is the first morning I haven't thrown up" she laughed.
"Must be that second trimester kicking in" Sam whispered as he kissed her.
"Hmm, I've heard many good things about it" Addison smirked.
"Are you ready for today? Because if you're not, we can wait a little longer"
"I'm ready" Addison smiled "We gotta tell people soon because, well I'm going to start growing even more soon and I think Amelia's going to burst if she can't talk about it any longer"
"True" Sam chuckled "So we're telling people"
"We're telling people" Addison nodded.
~x~
"Guys, can we talk to you about something?" Sam said over the noise of the practice kitchen later that morning, everyone except for Naomi was present, everyone quietened down and looked at him expectantly.
"You see, the thing is…" he stuttered "The thing is Addie she, me and Addie we're…."
"Addison's pregnant!" Amelia said loudly.
"Amelia!" Sam and Addison exclaimed.
"We would've been here all day" Amelia said rolling her eyes.
"You're, you're pregnant?" Pete stuttered "Like really, really pregnant?"
"12 weeks today" Addison said with a small smile "I know it's, a shock, believe me nobody could've been more shocked than me but, it's happening, everything is going well, we're having a baby" she smiled, kissing Sam gently as his hand came to her stomach.
"Well um, congratulations" Cooper said standing up and giving Addison a hug "You're going to be a great Mom Addison"
"Thank you" Addison smiled, everyone else then started to congratulate them.
"What's going on?" Naomi said from the doorway, everyone instantly tensed up.
"Addison's pregnant" Sam said simply, shocking everyone with his bluntness, Addison's eyes shot instantly to look at him with a slight glare.
"But that, that's not possible" Naomi stuttered with shock.
"Obviously it is" Amelia said dryly "Are you not going to say congratulations? Or would that be like admitting their relationship might just be as important as yours was?"
"Amelia!" Addison hissed, swatting her arm "Don't"
"Just stating a fact" Amelia shrugged "I gotta go get ready for a patient, I'll see you for lunch" she said walking out of the kitchen.
"We'll um just, go" Violet stuttered ushering everyone from the room.
"I don't want your congratulations" Addison said quietly "I don't want any kind of, reaction from you, I already know you don't like it, I know you hate me for being with Sam and this isn't making it any better, but it's happening, I'm having his baby, we're going to be a family, and nothing is going to change that, and this baby, it's your daughters half brother or sister, and your grandchild's Aunt or Uncle so you better get used to the idea of having them around" she sighed a little before leaving Sam alone with her.
"How long have you known?" Naomi asked quietly.
"4 weeks, she's 12 now" Sam said with a small smile "I, I'm happy about it"
"You told her you didn't want more kids"
"Yeah, and for the first couple of days, I was still unsure, she didn't want me to stay out of obligation, and then Amelia slipped the ultrasound in my pocket and as soon as I saw it, I knew what to do….she shouldn't be pregnant Naomi, you know that, she shouldn't be but she is, and if that's not a sign that we should do this then, I don't know what is" he sighed "We're happy, and we're going to do this, and I really hope, I really hope one day you can try and accept it"
"I don't even know what to say" Naomi mumbled.
"Then don't say anything" Sam sighed, he took a beat before walking out of the kitchen.
~x~
Part 2/6 to follow…
