Disclaimer: I'm just umm…stealing Nolan's sandbox for awhile, introducing a little anarchy, upsetting the established order and all that jazz. I'll try to give it back in one piece once I'm done. I don't own anything you recognize from TDK (note: while the principal and vice principal are named after Chris and Jonathan Nolan, it isn't actually them!), any outside references to pop culture—such as various YouTube videos, Facebook pages or bumper stickers, etc—or anything else I didn't come up with that may appear in this fic. I don't even own the title of the fic, which comes from a song. I'm just borrowing everything and making fun of them they cry…for entertainment purposes.
Warnings: Bad language, all kinds of violence, bashing of Gotham's educational system, parodying the hell out of the awesome movie The Dark Knight, smoking, teen partying, sexual innuendoes and humor, really strange humor, and finally, drug and alcohol use of the fictional variety. If any of that isn't your thing, turn back before it's too late…
A/N: Let me just explain a little about this fic before you read. I'm really not sure what this is genre-wise. It's quite random and weird. It's a mix of things, I guess. It's a borderline crack! fic parody that's…halfway serious at times. The best way to explain it would be to tell you that it's like the events of TDK taking place within a high school, not the entire city of Gotham. So, the characters are either faculty or students. It won't follow the movie exactly, and I may leave things out, add things, or make things different in order for the high school plot to work. This is all just for fun, so—enjoy!
And here…we…GO!
PROLOGUE: ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK
Dear Reader,
Congratulations!
It is our pleasure to inform you that you have officially been accepted into Gotham City High School. After reviewing your past grades and test scores, we have determined that you are capable of meeting the daily academic challenges that you will face here at Gotham City High. On behalf of the faculty and staff of this fine educational institution, we would like to sincerely applaud you on this wonderful achievement, and welcome you into the school community.
Gotham City High has been around for 70 years. Since 1939, we have been preparing our students for success in a wide variety of disciplines. The school has become a beacon of hope in this glorious city, providing opportunities and experiences to the future generations that no other high school in the country is able to offer.
We are excited to enlighten you on the many aspects of the high school that make it an especially unique place to obtain a superior education. We pride ourselves in having a diverse and exceptionally talented student body, representing all corners of Gotham City. Our faculty is well qualified, helpful, and committed to assisting students in reaching their goals and attaining the lofty standards that the school has set.
Gotham City High also has an overwhelming sense of community among the student body, and we want nothing more than to make you feel as though you are a part of an extended family. In addition to its outstanding academics, the high school has a broad range of athletic, fine arts, and extra-curricular programs and activities that are definitely worthwhile.
As a student here at Gotham City High, everything you learn and the friendships you form will last a lifetime. We hope that your experiences will be enjoyable, and that you will make the most out of your time with us. To say the least, attending this school is a day-to-day adventure. There is never a dull moment that passes here, and we hope that prospect is exciting to you.
Once again, we would like to extend our congratulations to you on this accomplishment, and we wish you the best of luck for the upcoming school year. We look forward to seeing you in the halls of Gotham City High School.
Sincerely,
Mr. Christopher Nolan
-Principal-
Mr. Jonathan Nolan
-Assistant Principal-
Mr. James Gordon
-Dean of Students-
Gotham City High School was like a fortress.
In fact, it probably could've passed for one in a former life.
It loomed in all of its gothic beauty within the heart of downtown, a striking feature among stories of polished glass, twisted metal, and modern architecture. The school held a strange old world charm due to its palatial structure—the man who had designed the building had been going for a castle-like façade. Although he had achieved that, upon gazing in its direction, many mistook the school for a prison or mental institution. Rumor was that GCHS had been designed by the same architect who helped build Arkham Asylum. The freak who'd done that basically had the right idea here… In every graduating class, at least a handful of the bright young adults ended up in Arkham eventually.
And this glorious establishment was where the very future of Gotham was being educated. Promising, wasn't it?
The edifice was certainly impressive. It was made up entirely of slate gray brick—some of which was mismatched where repairs had been made and wings had been added throughout its years—and had huge, slanting roofs with tall steeples and even a couple castle-esque towers by its main entrance.
There were a variety of windows to account for the many rooms inside, all of them ornate in appearance from the exterior. The main entrance had two humongous doors set back a ways, and menacing gargoyles carved out of stone on either side. The gargoyle statues were often defaced with graffiti or broken, and it was a wonder why the administrators hadn't taken them off the property completely.
To top it off, the high school had perfectly manicured grassy spots with strategically placed trees and other flora, where students could lounge around on picnic tables and benches. They even had a nice football stadium in the back, used for other sports as well, and a small field for soccer and other activities. It really didn't seem like a bad place—actually, it was considered an architectural gem to the residents of Gotham City.
The teenagers who attended the school had a totally different perspective. The building was like a prison to them, dubbed as GCHS: The Institution for the Educationally Insane (mocking the Arkham Asylum that they were constantly being compared to) by some of its students. Life inside the walls of the high school was a perpetual struggle between good and evil. Better yet, it was Social Darwinism at its grittiest, made worse by the corruption that gripped Gotham like some sick, flesh-eating plague. At GCHS, you were either a bully, a victim, or you just stood the hell out of the way and minded your own business, hoping that you'd survive the four years.
Literally.
Now, yet another school year was beginning. That meant the cycle was starting again. A new class of freshmen would get a very rude awakening, and the rest of the student body would be back to their old tricks, gaining more authority by moving up a grade level. Transitioning the freshman class to life at Gotham City High was always a nerve-racking and dangerous time, because the upperclassmen had a tendency to "weed out" the weaker ones. And that was putting it nicely. The problem was, the freshmen weren't the only ones in trouble—even if you managed to survive thus far, it didn't mean you were safe.
It was basically another season of Survivor: Gotham City. Outwit, Outlast, Outplay—or be eaten alive by your peers.
Naturally, they left that part out of the orientations, school tours, and open houses. They had enough difficulty trying to hire teachers and other staff members who were nervous about these rumors that people had about GCHS. (Something about the mortality rate and other nonsense involving a student last year who had a fixation with mixing chemicals and wearing a burlap bag over his head—the Administration had a heck of a time trying to clean that mess up.)
They couldn't risk scaring too many people off. They needed to make money, you know. Plus, those ignorant parents wanted their kids to get an education—of course—and since GCHS was a public school, it was cheap to send them there. Unfortunately for them, a quality education couldn't be achieved at such a school, where it was more likely that your kid would be mixed up in something illegal rather than getting an A on a test.
And you thought that acceptance letter was telling you the truth…
You poor, misguided soul.
Sorry to inform you, but whatever the letter said…they were lying. They just have to say that crap to make themselves and the school look good. It's standard procedure.
…So, prepare yourself, and enter at your own risk. This isn't The Twilight Zone—it's life at Gotham City High School.
Welcome.
A/N: Please review, it'll be very much appreciated!
