To See You Again

A/N: First published Bones fic. Not the first I've written. Will have M rated themes in later chapters. I was watching Wannabee in the Weeds, and feeling all angsty, so I wrote this. I've enjoyed it so far, so hopefully it won't take too long for me to come up with an ending. I hope you all enjoy :D

Spoilers: Wannabee in the Weeds, Pain in the Heart

Disclaimer: So don't own anything... which sucks heaps. But I do own DVDs! *sigh*

"Dr Brennan, I at least think you should express your emotions to yourself, even if you can't to me."

Dr Lance Sweets was looking at Temperance Brennan, concern clear in his eyes.

"I don't have any feelings on the matter, Sweets. I don't need to express anything to myself." Brennan snapped back.

"I think you're wrong. This affected you, and continues to affect you deeply."

"It didn't, and it isn't."

"At least try to get the feelings out. Write a letter."

"To whom?"

"To Booth."

"Booth is dead, Sweets. What's the point of writing him a letter?" Brennan felt a sudden pang as she heard Booth's name, but kept it hidden from Sweets.

"It acts a way to channel what you're feeling. It give you an outlet." Sweets looked at her closely. "You're upset."

"I'm not. Booth and I were colleagues. Nothing more. I am sad that the FBI lost one of their finest, but on a personal level…"

"He was more than a colleague to you, wasn't he?" Sweets asked. "You spent so much time together. You were best friends."

Brennan felt the tears begin to well up in her eyes, so she stood and left Sweets' office, not wanting him to see her cry, to see the extent of the pain Booth's death had caused her.

Later that night, sitting on her bed, Brennan began to write. She sat hunched over a piece of paper, pen in hand. She started the page with 'Dear Booth'. She stared down at the page.

"This is stupid." She sighed. But she kept writing.

---

Dear Booth,

This is probably the most irrational thing I've done, but Sweets says it'll make me feel better. Personally, I don't see how writing a letter to a dead person will help, but perhaps it will. He doesn't know how I feel, anyway. I try to keep my calm and collected persona up while I'm at work, and that works until someone mentions you specifically by name. I honestly don't know how I am going to cope without you here, beside me. You are mu link to the outside world. You are patient with me if I don't understand something, and you never leave me alone in situations when I need you. And I do need you, I need you so much, Booth. You're my best friend, my, if I fully understand the meaning of the word, my soulmate. But you're gone now, gone forever, and I believe your soul is in heaven, even if I don't believe in it myself, but you do, and that's what matters. I've lost my soulmate, Booth. I've lost you. And now, I'm lost. Before I met you, I lived a life of anthropology, I lived in my work. But you changed that, you took me into the world and changed my life. I'm a better person now, because of you. And I thank you for that. I'll miss you Booth. Always. You will always hold a place in my heart, and I'll never forget you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me. You were always there when I needed you. You always gave me space if I needed it. You gave me my life back. You found my mother, my father, my brother. I never thanked you enough for anything. I took you for granted, you were always just there. Always ready to take me home when I needed sleep; to take me to the diner when I needed food; to provide me with much needed company. You really are fantastic. You always will be in my mind, and never far from my thoughts.

Lastly, to lose yourself in another person is something I've not fully achieved, but if I was to try to break the laws of physics with anyone, it would be you. I'm fairly certain I was, am, in love with you. And that wound, the pain of your death will not easily heal, but I am Dr Temperance Brennan. I will persevere, I will recover from this as I do any other emotional problem. Goodbye, Seeley.

Yours forever,

Bones. (And I never told you, that nickname made me feel special. Only you are allowed to call me that.)

---

Brennan woke the next morning and sighed. Another day to face without Booth. His funeral was today. She wasn't going to go. No point in going. It wouldn't give her any sort of closure. It would only serve to make her grief worse. Brennan wiped her eyes, and stopped the silent crying that had become her morning ritual. Booth wouldn't want this. He would want her to be strong, to continue being the centre. To hold. To keep the team together. She could do that. She could keep them together. With a new resolve, she got out of bed and dressed for the day ahead.