Just Ask Yami Bakura

(An original advice column)

Disclaimer: I do not own yu-gi-oh. If you decided to review keep it 'G' and remember not to flame me. If you did not like it that's too bad.

Hey is that brother always bothering you? Or does your bf/gf have a

bad habit? Or does your mom or dad always nag you about your messy room or your sloppy schoolwork? Well when worse comes to worse --- and believe me, worse would have to definitely come to worse for you to resort to this--- just ask Yami Bakura!!!!

Dear Yami Bakura,

I have the horrible habit of biting my fingernails.

I try to stop but nothing seems to work.

Please give me some good ideas to help me stop this horrible habit.

--- Nail Biter

Dear Nail Biter,

I once had a friend, err, I mean, an enemy with the same habit.

I'll give you the same advice I gave him. Okay lets see if you can follow me. Ready? 1.) Go to the kitchen 2.) Find the knives drawer 3.) Take the longest sharpest knive and OFF WITH THE HANDS!!!!!!! HAAAAAAAAA!!! HAAAAAAAA!! HAAAAAAA!!! Okay it's on to the next letter. Hope you have a bad day.

----- Yami Bakura

Dear Yami Bakura,

My little brother annoys me constantly. Like now for instance he's jumping on the bed singing the Barney song. What am I supposed to do? Help!!!

---Going Insane

Dear Going Insane,

This is an easy one. He annoys you right? So you tell him that he doesn't love you and you don't love him so he needs to back off. Like to the other side of the universe. If that's doesn't work chop off his head if your parents interrupt you send him to the shadow realm. If you do not know how to perform this very hard ritual just buy my book How to send somebody to the shadow realm. Look I got to go so go die or something.

---- Yami Bakura

Dear Yami Bakura,

Hello. I'm having a school related problem. My teachers think my grades are low because I spend my time writing notes and talking. They drive me crazy!!!! What should I do?

---Crazy Girl

Dear Crazy Girl,

You mortals bore me. (Yawn) I mean, Hello! Does it really not occur to you that you should just throw a grenade through these teacher's windows. Are you soak their houses in gasoline and burn them. Got to go. Go stab someone for me. Bye.

--- Yami Bakura

We are sorry this column has been discontinued. Too many people it seems have actually taken Yami's advice. I hope they recuperate but there are many who won't. Yami was not heartbroken, here is what he has to say about being fired:

" Hey, It's not too bad. I hated helping people anyways. I'm still going to blow up the news office for fun. OH NO!! Got to go the police are coming."

Well that's the end hope you enjoyed it.