iTell Sam's Mom

A/N: I started writing this story before I saw the episode iSam's Mom which introduced us to Sam's mother. Therefore my story is based on what I imagined the character would be like, which is vastly different from how she was revealed to be. After seeing the episode I almost stopped writing but I liked the idea so much I thought I'd finish it anyway.

Carly wiggled her fingers, with some difficulty, into one of Sam's tightly balled fists. Noticing with some surprise that the the usually unshakable blonde was trembling she gave her hand a comforting squeeze.

"It's going to be fine, you know," she said trying to make her voice sound as light and optimistic as possible.

"Yeah, sure," Sam replied unconvincingly without looking at her. She was staring intensely at a strip of paint that was peeling off the door in front of them, seemingly lost in her thoughts.

Suddenly she turned to face Carly, taking both of the her hands as she did. "Look, can't we just forget this and go get something to eat? I found this new place in Korean town that serves the best ribs."

Looking into her best friend's face Carly noticed for the first time that Sam's eyes were wet. They sparkled under the harsh hallway lights. She wasn't used to the usually tough, steadfast blonde looking scared and it frightened her. When things went wrong she was the one that panicked and ran around like a headless chicken while Sam would treat it with cool indifference. That's how things were supposed to be. Well, if Sam was the one feeling scared now, then she had to be the confident one - even if she didn't feel it.

"Look, your mom is the only who doesn't know we're dating. We've got to tell her," Carly said with the most reassuring smile she could muster. She paused, before adding "I really think she's going to be okay with it."

"She's not," Sam replied rubbing at the frayed edge of the welcome mat with the tip of her trainer. "She's never been okay with anything that makes me happy."

"Aahh. I make you happy!" Carly laughed, putting her arm around her girlfriend's shoulder and pulling her stiff body into an awkward side-hug.

"Can't we just tell Spencer again? He was cool with it." Sam asked, playfully pushing Carly away.

It was true, Carly thought, Spencer had been really great about it. She'd been nervous about how he would react, but looking back on it now she wasn't sure why. He'd simply replied "Cool!", tousled both girls' hair and excitedly exclaimed that they should all get pie to celebrate. Why would she expect anything less from her loving, carefree brother?

Freddie hadn't been quite as easy! He'd clearly been waiting patiently for his friendship with Carly to blossom into something more romantic, and hearing that he wasn't the best friend she had fallen for was never going to be easy for him. Carly had planned over and over exactly how she was going to break the news, but before she'd even begun Sam had blurted it out. Carly almost felt sorry for him. Sam hadn't tried to hide the fact she was boasting, acting as if it had been a contest that he'd lost. His mouth had flapped open and closed a few times as he searched his mind for some reply, but only a few random gurgles emerged that neither of the two girls could understand (although Sam later suggested that he was probably just saying that the best girl had won). Then he'd turned and walked rather dazedly out the door. Carly didn't see him for a few days and was beginning to get worried when he walked back into the apartment like nothing had happened. When she later tried to broach the subject he told her he was happy for her and that really it made a lot of sense, and that was the end of the matter.

"Come on, let's get this over with so we can go get something to eat," Carly said lightly, knowing the one incentive that always worked on her best friend.

"Korean ribs?" Sam asked hopefully, knowing that Carly couldn't resist her when she turned on the charm.

"Okay, but the last time you took me to a Korean restaurant the waitress kept calling me 'little pretty girl'. It was embarassing!"

"That's because you are a little pretty girl." Sam laughed, prodding Carly gently in the stomach.

"Stop wasting time," Carly said trying to act serious despite the giggles her girlfriend's prodding finger was inducing.

"Oh, okay." Sam sighed, reaching into her pocket. Rather than producing a key as Carly expected she instead took out a credit card and slid it between the door and the frame, attempting to jimmy the lock.

"What happened to your key?" Carly asked as she watched the blonde break into her own home, the tip of her tongue resting on her top lip as she concentrated on the task.

"I lost it," Sam explained as the door made the reassuring click that meant she'd slipped the lock.

As she re-pocketed the card, Carly caught sight of the name embossed on it. "Hey, is that Freddie's card?"

"Yeah," Sam replied with a smirk.

"His mom said that it was only to be used in emergencies!"

"It was an emergency. I'd lost my key."

As always Carly had to stifle a moan of sympathy as she stepped into the apartment Sam shared with her mom - and whatever man her mom was currently seeing. The place didn't appear to have been decorated since before Sam's mom had moved in, mainly because it hadn't. The peeling wallpaper; the few threadbare pieces of furniture that Mrs Puckett hadn't pawned or had stolen by one of her less savory 'acquaintances'; the empy liquor bottles all gave an impression of a home devoid of affection and love.

Whenever she was in Sam's apartment all Carly wanted to do was wrap her arms around the blonde and squeeze her, hoping that the tighter she held her the more loved Sam would feel. In fact it didn't matter where they were, in the halls at school or the middle of a crowded restaurant, Carly wanted to show her love for Sam everywhere they went. She couldn't look at her girlfriend while waiting in line for smoothies or walking between classes without wanting to take her hand, run her fingers through her tousled blonde hair or kiss her soft lips.

That was the main reason she'd been so keen for her and Sam to come out to everyone. She was tired of having to get by on the thrill of letting their hands brush against each other while sitting watching a movie with Freddie, or loving glances across the table at The Groovy Smoothie. She wanted to be able to hug and kiss and hold hands with her girlfriend whenever she wanted. Well, there was only one more person to tell and then they were free to be themselves.

That person was to be found slumped over the kitchen table, her hand resting on a near-empty bottle of Jack Daniels.

Sam approached her apparently unconscious mother cautiously, while Carly held back, happy to let the blonde take the lead, but realising as she did that she had never seen Sam move cautiously before in all the years she'd known her.

"Mom?" ventured Sam, reaching out her hand but stopping short of touching her mother. There was no immediate response from the slumped form, and Sam was just about to repeat herself when her mom raised her cropped blonde head with it's black roots and turned bloodshot eyes on her daughter.

"Whadda you want?" she asked, but her voice was so dry and cracked it was difficult to discern her words.

Sam paused. She wasn't someone who usually bothered with making plans, preferring just to talk and act from the gut, but she kind of wished she had given some thought of what to say.

Carly watched her girlfriend who has now found a piece of peeling lino to nudge at with her trainer's toe. She really wished she could take the initiative, but she knew that this was something Sam had to do for herself.

Sam's mom seemed to grow bored of waiting for her daughter to speak, turning her head to look at the liquor bottle in her hand as if she had only just noticed it was there. Without the unfocused gaze of her mother upon her, Sam finally found her tongue.

"Mom," she started, glad that her mother didn't turn back to look at her. "You know that... me and Carly have been best friends for I dunno..."

Sam' mom seemed to notice Carly hovering in the doorway for the first time, and fixed her with a look that made the brunette want to leave the room, preferably at high speed. "Yeah, I know your little friend," she slurred.

"Well, we're kind of..." Sam paused. "Dating."

Her mom seemed to be fighting through a drunken haze to understand the piece of information her daughter had just dropped on her.

Having finally admitted the truth, some of Sam's usual confidence seemed to return to her. "We're dating. I'm dating her. She's my girlfriend," she explained taking a backwards step closer to Carly.

She's my girlfriend! Carly tried hard not to let a smile spread across her face and failed. Every time Sam said that Carly was her girlfriend, the brunette teen couldn't help but laugh. Sam was her girlfriend, and she was Sam's, and every time she realised she became so happy all she wanted to do was smile and dance and jump around screaming in joy.

Sam's mom, on the other hand, didn't look as overjoyed at the statement. "Oh, great!" she muttered, addressing the air before turning her eyes to her daughter as she continued. "So you're a dyke now, is that it?"

A squeaky gasp escaped Carly's mouth and she glanced at Sam waiting for a reaction from the volatile blonde. What she expected was screaming and shouting, even physical violence wasn't out of the question, but Sam remained quiet. In fact, if it wasn't for the fact that she had clenched her hands into tight fists, or the barely noticeable trembling in her upper arms, Carly would have sworn Sam hadn't heard.

When she finally spoke it was clear that she was barely restraining her anger "Chiz mom, what's your problem with me being happy?"

"Happy?" Carly noticed with some disgust that Sam's mom literally spat the world, misting the table top with spittle. "You wanna talk to me about happiness? I haven't been happy since you were born!"

Carly almost cried aloud. It broke her heart to think what the most important person in her world had just heard from someone who was supposed to love her, but the words only seemed to get Sam fired up.

"Oh yeah, because you haven't shown me how unhappy I make you every day of my life" she spat back her voice heavy with venomous sarcasm.

Carly screamed, shielding her face as the bottle of Jack Daniels exploded against the wall in a burst of glass and brown whiskey. Sam, however, didn't even move as the bottle flew from her mother's hand, passing so close to her head that it brushed her tousled hair. Her eyes, narrowed and burning with hatred, stayed on her mother who was now on her feet, screaming.

"And I suppose I should be happy that my daughter's a sexual deviant!"

Unable to see her girlfriend being beaten down by her mother's words any more, Carly finally spoke up. "Mrs. Puckett, I don't think..." Before she could continue Sam's mom cut her off.

"Oh look, Miss Goody Two-Shoes has finally found her voice," she slurred, turning on the frightened brunette teen. "So you and my daughter are fu..." she continued, pushing off against the table and swaying towards Carly. Before she taken two clumsy steps forward Sam grabbed her tightly by the arm.

"Mom, don't!" she said in a voice that seemed to dare her mother to challenge her. Carly had only heard her Sam use that tone once before; when demanding a questioning fast food employee to make her a meatball smoothie.

The drunken woman's unfocused eyes studied the determination on her daughter's face silently for a moment before yanking her arm away. "Fine," she muttered, taking a step backwards that almost ended up with her flat on the stained linoleum. Clutching to the edge of the kitchen table to steady herself she turned her attention back to her daughter.

"Why do you always have to embarass me?"

"This isn't about you," Sam replied, her voice quieter now.

"No, it's not. As usual, it's all about you," her mother spat back at her. "But I'm the one who can't look the neighbors in the eye because you've been locked up or escorted home by the police. How do you think it's going to be when they find out my daughter is a lesbian?" The final word fell from her mouth like poison.

"None of the neighbours can look you in the eye anyway, mom!" Sam shouted the anger rushing back into her voice. "They all think you're a slut and a drunk. You think they don't hear you coming home every night with a different..."

She was cut short by a a mother's hand which struck her across the face with a bang and knocked her sprawling onto the floor.

"Sam!" Carly gasped, expecting the blonde to leap to her feet and fight back against her mother. Yet to her surprise Sam remained on the floor, looking up at her mom wide-eyed, shock written across her face.

Why wasn't she defending herself? Carly's mind flashed back to all the times that Sam had defended her; against bullies, against teachers, against random people on the street who had apparently looked at them funny, against fast food workers who didn't fill their sodas up right to the top. Now the usually fearless blonde needed someone to stand up for her, and Carly wasn't going to let her down.

Sam's mom was standing over Sam's cowering body, screeching at her. "How dare you talk to your mother that way? Do you know what you did to my body? I was hot." She raised her hand again ready to strike her daughter, but before she could bring it down Carly launched herself forward, pushing the adult woman hard in the shoulders and sending her staggering backwards.

"Listen, you... you..." She glanced at Sam, who with a slight nod of her head gave her all the confidence she needed to continue. "Bitch!"

"How dare you speak to me like..." Sam's mom started forward but Carly pushed her back again with both hands, sending her reeling into the refrigerator which started to hum loudly.

"Why do you have to be so mean?" Carly shouted, her anger overpowering her usually timid nature. "Sam may always be in trouble but it's because she's confident and fearless... and loyal and protective, and she doesn't care what people think about her or let them put her down." She paused for breath. She'd never really voiced what it was that made her girlfriend so precious to her before, but the words had come bubbling out of her mouth without her even having to think them. "She's wonderful," she continued, slower now, emphasising each word, "and you don't deserve her."

"Sam," Carly addressed the blonde without turning round. "Go pack your things, you're coming to stay with me and Spencer."

Sam wasn't used to taking orders from anyone, even Carly, but she was on her feet instantly, grabbing a trash bag as she made for her room. Her mother made a move to stop her, but the petite yet unmovable brunette blocked her way, forcing her back against the refrigerator.

Once Sam was out of the room Carly moved her face closer to the adult woman swaying back and forth in front of her, flinching from the stench of whisky on her breath but wanting her to hear what she had to say. "It doesn't matter if you don't love her. I do! And I'm going to prove it to her every single day."

In her room Sam shoved a pair of pants, a bunch of penny t's and some extra underwear into the trash bag, then glanced around at the messy floor and the cluttered sides, looking for anything else she needed to take with her. No, everything that mattered to her was waiting in the kitchen to take her away from a life she'd always hated and give her a home. Wait, there was a packet of Cheeze-Its in the bedside drawer. She threw it on top of the clothes in the bag and left her room for the last time.

She found Carly waiting patiently by the door and her mom once again sitting at the kitchen table, casting around hopefully for the whiskey bottle that she'd forgotten was lying in pieces on the floor. Sam paused at the door, thinking that she should maybe wish her mother goodbye, but decided against it. Sam Puckett and her mother had never had a heartfelt discussion in their life, there was no point trying to start now.

After closing the door on Sam's now ex-apartment, the two girls remained silent until they were back on the street. The sun was sinking behind the buildings, but the sky was cloudless and it was not yet dark enough for the street lights to start turning on.

"You know," Sam said, breaking the silence. "You were right, it wasn't that bad."

Carly wanted to laugh but she couldn't. Her mouth was dry, her fingers tips were all tingly, and her heart was beating so fast she thought it might burst out of her chest. She was still in shock, from what she, timid little Carly Shay who always avoided confrontation, had just done. She'd squared up to an adult. A drunk adult. A violent, drunk adult. Instead of laughing she did the only thing she could; leaned forward and kissed her beautiful girlfriend softly on the lips.

"Are you sure Spencer's going to be okay with me living with you?" Sam asked after their lips parted. She glanced down at the trash bag gripped tightly in her fist, which at the moment contained all her worldly possessions.

"I doubt he'll notice the difference, you spend most of the time at our place anyway." Carly smiled.

"Well, I don't suppose I'll be needing my key any more." Sam smirked, sliding Freddie's credit card from her pocket and snapping it in two before her girlfriend could stop her.

Carly opened her mouth to reprimand the blonde, but instead she found herself laughing along with Sam. As the girls' laughter died away, Sam punched her lightly in the arm. "You were great in there, by the way." She spoke in the soft voice she reserved solely for Carly. "It was cute seeing my 'little pretty girl' acting all tough."

"You don't mess with Carly Shay," Carly replied, punching Sam back albeit with slightly less confidence. "Come on, lets go get something to eat."

"I do believe you promised to buy me some Korean ribs," Sam said with a smile.

"I don't remember promising that!"

"Oh, come on. I just snapped my credit card in half."

"Freddie's card," Carly corrected her.

"It still means I don't have any money," Sam relented with a shrug.

"Okay, my treat. But you owe me."

Yeah, and for much more than just food, Sam thought to herself, but out loud she just said, "We've got to get dipping sauces. They do a great..." before launching into a list of seemingly every dip, sauce, side-dish and appetiser her chosen restaurant offered.

Without interrupting her girlfriend's passionate ramblings, Carly slipped her fingers into Sam's hand and together the two teenage girls walked hand in hand through the gathering dusk and the busy streets to Korea Town.