"So, here we are", Tim said as he opened the door for Casey to one of the Dude Ranch cabins. The blonde woman stepped in, thanking the cowboy with a nod before she looked around.
Casey had been here before, but something about the room felt different and it was because Tim had tried to create a romantic setting for them so their get-away weekend would also feel like one.
These few days were supposed to be all about Tim, seeing as the man was celebrating his birthday tomorrow, even though he had said he didn't want it to be a big deal and had hoped to just get away for a while with the woman he loved. Casey had willingly accepted his invitation to spend some time off together, especially because the recent events had made her feel insecure in their relationship. Maybe after this weekend she would have no doubts about how strong their union really was.
As Casey's eyes scanned the place, she noticed something odd about the setting. It was as if it was her birthday, especially because the dozen roses on the table had been addressed to her.
Maybe Tim was one of those people who wanted to give love on his birthday instead of receiving it. If that was the case, Casey did not see a problem with it. Yet she still made a mental note to spoil the man a little, it was a big birthday after all, perhaps in the form on longer kissing sessions and breakfast in bed.
"It looks… great", Casey said, trying to put into perspective every thing she had seen so far.
"Yeah? Good, because it took me ages to light all these candles. And don't tell Lou I just let them burn here without any supervision or she'll freak. Something about fire hazard", Tim muttered and made a hand gesture that suggested his daughter worried too much. "But it's nice to know it was worth it", he explained as he helped the woman with her coat. "Make yourself at home - oh, and try the champagne, because you know I can't."
"Well, I'll enjoy it for the both of us then", Casey replied, smiling and feeling a bit bummed that Tim couldn't celebrate his own birthday with a glass of champagne. But Casey wanted to respect the fact that the cowboy had come clean about his past with alcohol and had not been drinking anything knowing that one drink could cause him to relapse. "You can still open the bottle, can't you? It's your birthday after all", she asked, taking the bottle from the icy bucket.
As she turned around to face him to hear his reply, the man got down on his knee, and held out a ring as he set his eyes on the woman before him. Casey would have had to been clueless not to know what was going on, as she had been here once before.
"Casey McMurtry…" Tim pronounced her name gently as Casey's eyes grew wider, "would you do me the honor of marrying me?"
"Oh, Tim… I…" she looked at the ring and then back at the man on his knee. She was almost unable to speak. "I don't know what to say…"
"Say yes?" Tim suggested, flashing a charming smile. Casey's eyes lingered on the ring and Tim wondered if he should have bought more flashy one. "It's the ring, isn't it? You hate it, right? I should have gone with the silver. I just thought the gold one would be nicer. Kind of like your hair–"
"No, it's not the ring", Casey assured him. "Just that…" she bit her teeth together nervously and looked Tim into his eyes.
And that's when he knew he wasn't going to get a yes. She would have said it already if she was sure about this.
"Can you just get up, please?" Casey asked and helped him up.
"What-what's the problem?" Tim seemed uncomfortable as he got back on his feet. This was not what he had expected. Things with them had been smooth for over a year now and he had bared his soul to her and she had always accepted him as flawed as he was. No one had ever done that.
And he had loved her the best he could, he had changed into a better man just by being in her presence, so… what was he missing here?
"If it's not the ring, then… it must be the proposal. It's not romantic enough. I should have gone with the white roses like the florist said, they are so much better than red–" Tim babbled on and Casey had to grab him by the shoulders just to make him shut up.
"Tim, stop it. This…" she looked around and saw the candles and the flowers, "is more than anyone could ever hope for. This is the most romantic thing anyone's ever done for me."
"So… that only leaves… me. The problem is me", Tim figured.
"No, it's not you, I swear", Casey said as she started shaking her head. "It's me." As cliched as it sounded, it really was her problem.
Tim's brows jumped up.
"You? How could it be you? I was just on my knee, proposing to you. If that doesn't prove I love you and I want the spend the rest of my life with you, then… I don't know what does. Case, you're my woman."
"It's hard to explain", Casey said, sighing, already knowing this wasn't going to end well. She didn't want to seem difficult, but she couldn't help her own feelings.
"Try me", Tim replied, because he couldn't just live with "it's hard to explain".
"I've already been married", Casey started.
"So have I", Tim pointed out.
"Yeah, and you got divorced", she reminded him.
"Is that it? You're scared that I'm gonna divorce you?" Tim sighed. "Being married to Marion was different, we were young and reckless and didn't know what we were doing. But I know now, more than ever."
"I just… what do we need marriage for?" Casey wanted to know. "We are perfectly fine as we are", her voice was now calmer as she was trying to make Tim see her point of view.
"Legal accreditation?" Tim offered with a forced smile.
"Wow, Tim… you really know how to make a girl feel special", Casey replied. This was typical Tim; one minute he was the sweetest man on Earth and the next Casey could have punched his arm for the stuff he said. "Is that the only reason why you wanna marry me? So that if we die, we have some rights?"
"No, what, of course not, I just… figured maybe you could appreciate that because… you know, you and Hank…" Tim didn't want to finish because Casey already knew where he was going with this. While it had been helpful to have that security with Hank as her husband has passed away, it was all still too fresh in her mind and Casey didn't want to go into a marriage thinking that part of the whole thing.
"I can't believe you just said that…" Casey was hurt. Was she just some damsel in distress for Tim? Someone he felt sorry for? Did the shadow of Hank always follow her around, no matter how much she tried to move on? "I can get by on my own, thank you very much."
"Okay, yeah, that was unnecessary", Tim admitted, realizing it too late, Sometimes he would have been better off just shutting up. "But, Casey, I just want to love you and keep you safe", Tim tried another approach but Casey was already walking out the door. Tim put the ring box on the table and followed her. "Casey, wait!"
"Were you as romantic with Janice?" Casey couldn't keep her thoughts to herself any longer. She had been talking with Janice and it had turned out she wasn't just Tim's ex-business associate, as he had said, she was his ex-fiancée as well.
"What…? What has she been saying to you?"
Tim felt panic hit him in the chest as he recalled the memory of Janice giving his engagement ring back to him. They had made up and he had returned her horse to her, but Tim wouldn't have blamed her if she was still bitter about all of that.
But he felt like a changed man; what he had once been, was now in the past. He really didn't want that to ruin his relationship with Casey. He had never been this serious with anyone and if past was about to bite him in the butt, the timing couldn't have been worse.
"She mentioned you two used to date. And not only that, you proposed to her and turns out it wasn't for love, it was because of some… legal feud against Miranda you didn't wanna lose", Casey poured her heart out. It had been bothering her and while she acknowledged not everything Tim did was very thoughtful, this had been a low blow.
"So that's what's bugging you…" Tim realized.
"That among other things", Casey said, because Tim's mention of legal accreditation was the thing that had triggered her wonder if she was just another Janice to him. Maybe it was different as he had assured her he was doing it all for her safety, but then again if she died before him, he was the one to get it all. The more Casey thought about it, the more she hated that she was even giving this kind of point of view a thought. "It's a really crappy thing to do to someone. Makes me wonder what you have up your sleeve now."
"Nothing. I've changed, Casey. I've changed so much, you have no idea. Ask anyone. I even made up with Janice, we're okay now. You've seen it", Tim defended himself. "I know I screwed up with her, big time, but… I know better now."
"Do you?" Casey wasn't too sure. "Why do you really wanna marry me?"
Tim couldn't look her in the eye and Casey sensed there was some kind of dishonesty going on behind his words. It was her saving grace that she was good at reading people, because had she said "yes", she might have not known what she was getting herself into.
"Tim…? If you don't say anything in five seconds, I'm gonna get in my truck and drive away", Casey warned him. She saw Tim struggling with his words as she started to count. "1… 2… 3… 4…"
"Okay, okay! Fine!" Tim finally spit out. "It's my birthday. I'm getting old", he admitted. "I might think I'm getting wiser with every year, but I'm also getting closer to…" he got chocked up. Casey studied him, letting him speak before she said anything. "All I am is lonely. And I don't wanna be lonely. I don't wanna die alone…"
"But Tim, just because you're married, doesn't mean everything just… gets all better or you'd be safe from the loneliness. We are all gonna die and we are all gonna die alone. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about", she felt tears forming in her eyes as she remembered Hank's last breaths. Even if she had been there, holding his hand, he had passed away alone. "And even if we would be married and I would die, you still have people. You have your girls, Shane, your family. You are covered. Besides, I don't want you to build everything on me, on us. I did that with Hank and when he died, I fell apart. He was my life and it took me years to get to where I am now. I don't want that to happen to you. I don't want you to marry me because you can't imagine your life without me because one day, I won't be here."
Tim looked down, nodding as he listened to Casey talk. He knew he couldn't deny anything she was saying, because she knew what she was talking about.
It was different with him and Marion, they had already decided to part ways before they parted ways for good before she died. But Tim was now planning to stay with Casey until the end of his days and that was a more realistic thought, now that he was getting closer to the age of retiring.
"Yeah, okay", Tim accepted it finally and looked back up. Casey walked closer to him, now more at ease. She wrapped her arms around Tim and tried to push the ghost of Janice behind her. Casey wasn't feeling jealous, but she didn't want to be treated the same way - and she wanted to make sure Tim knew that too.
"So why don't we just… celebrate your birthday and think about the whole marriage thing later?" Casey suggested. "And this is me talking because of us, not because of Janice. I just think we should be entering into married life for the right reasons and not because of legal accreditations or fear of getting old alone. Whether I wear your ring on my finger or not, I'm not gonna abandon you - just as long as we treat each other right. Now, how does that sound?"
"Maybe a bit better if I get few kisses first", Tim said, trying to fish out some kisses for himself. Casey laughed, slapping him gently on his neck.
"You're impossible, Tim Fleming."
"And you, Casey McMurtry, are incredible", Tim said before they kissed and embraced each other.
