A/N: Okay, this story is an AU (Alternative Universe) story based on the movie Down With Love starring Renee Zellweger and Ewan McGregor. Hopefully you guys enjoy my story and please, please, please read and review.

Down With Love

A twenty-five year old Hermione Granger stepped out of her taxi cab as she paid the driver her fee and onto the pavement of New York City. She couldn't believe the majesty of the skyscrapers reaching the muggy clouds in the sky. Her perfectly styled, wavy chestnut hair flowed in the wind as she ran to Finnigan Publishing, the building where her future would hopefully blossom.

As she walked into the building she brushed her pink dress down with her hands, making sure that nothing was out of place before she stepped into that room. She walked forward confidently towards the lifts. Once her lift arrived, she was about to step into it when a thin blonde woman brushed right past her, almost knocking her to the floor.

"Excuse me," Hermione said with a small tone of annoyance in her voice as she once again patted down her dress.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry…I'm just in a rush to get to a very important meeting with Mr. Finnigan…I guess I'm just a tad bit nervous. I'm Luna, by the way." She said this all quickly as she extended her hand out towards Hermione.

"Luna Lovegood!" She exclaimed.

"Yes, oh are you Hermione Granger?" She asked.

Hermione nodded her head excitedly.

"Oh well let me introduce myself properly, I'm Luna Lovegood, the editor of your book! It's so nice to put a face to your voice!" Luna said, letting Hermione into the elevator and pushing the button for the 30th floor.

"Hermione Granger, it's a pleasure to finally meet you!" Hermione said.

"We have so much to do before the book is released! We have you booked for a photo shoot at three for the jacket, have to approve the jacket design, oh so many things! But don't worry, we have plenty of time, the book comes out next week!" Her voice faltered. "One week, oh my…"

The two women walked out of the elevator and Hermione had to jog to keep up with the pace of her nervous editor.

"Ms. Lovegood!" a voice called out. "Your mother called. She needs to-"

"Not now, Susan. I'm stressed enough as it is." Luna said as she abruptly cut off her secretary. "Hermione, this is Susan, she's my secretary. Susan, this is Hermione Granger, the author of that book I've been working on."

"It's very nice to meet you Susan!" She said happily as she surveyed the woman before her. She was one woman that needed this book more than anyone. Her plaid dress was too big on her, making her look more like a stump than a woman. Her brown hair was pulled back into the messiest bun that she'd ever seen as her huge glasses completely concealed her face…which had no make-up on it as it was.

As this was running through her mind, Susan received a page.

"They're ready for you in the lion's den Ms. Lovegood." She said in an almost morbid tone as they approached a set of huge wooden doors which, ironically enough, had lions' heads as decorations.

Luna took a big breath as she pushed open the doors and walked through them with Hermione following suit. She saw a rectangular wooden table with about six men surrounding it, three on each side she noticed, with two seats at one head and one chair at the opposite head. However, this chair was empty.

"Good morning gentlemen," Luna said in a semi-confident tone "This is Ms. Hermione Granger."

The men went clockwise around the table all holding their hands out to Hermione at their respective moment.

"E.M"

"R.J"

"C.G"

"H.A"

"J.F"

"O.K." Hermione said, not wanting to sound as confused as she actually was.

"No, Ms. Granger, O.K. is downstairs having lunch with S.F," The man that introduced himself to Hermione as E.M. said. "You know, S.F, Seamus Finnigan, the man publishing your little book."

Hermione nodded enthusiastically as she sat down in her chair folding her hands in front of her.

"If you don't mind me asking Ms. Granger," the man called J.F. asked, "What exactly is your book about?"

"You remember…Ms. Granger is our English girl, growing up in a small town and writing her book by the light of a candle." E.M. said with a laugh.

Luna stood and looked at the man with a bit of annoyance and, while pacing, said, "Ms. Granger's book is a serious piece of non-fiction entitled Down with Love---"

"Excuse me Luna, but while you're up, could you just grab me a cup of coffee?" H.A. said as Luna rolled her eyes, nodded, and walked over to the pot.

"Er…the pot is empty, H.A" Luna said.

"Well if you're making a fresh pot, I'll have a cup." E.M. said as the table followed suit.

Luna stomped over to the coffee maker and as she was preparing the coffee, tried once again to explain Hermione's novel. "Ms. Granger's book is a serious piece of non-fiction called Down with Love, a book containing exactly what a women needs to enter into the work force," she said as the coffee filter fell out of her hands.

The men turned in the direction of Hermione.

"But how do you propose women do this?" JF asked.

"By saying down with love! Love is an obstacle to women, a distraction if you will." Hermione exclaimed.

"But…wouldn't that mean the end of the human race?" Asked H.A.

"I say no to love, H.A., not sex." Hermione said.

"But isn't that the same thing?" H.A. exclaimed.

As all the men in the room turned to H.A. with a questionable look on each of their faces, Hermione laughed and said "I've outline my process in three simple stages. Stage one: The woman swears off men all together, helping her realize that she doesn't need a man, especially with the self pleasuring technique I outline in detail in Chapter 8 entitled…"

She trailed off as the men became more and more intrigued.

"Up with chocolate!" She said as the men fell back to their chairs with a disappointing sigh.

"Stage Two: The woman secures a firm place in the workforce while still continuing her boycott of men. By Stage Three the woman has her place in the workforce and is happily self sufficient." Hermione said with an accomplished smile on her face.

"All this time she's swearing off men?" JF asked.

"Merlin, no! By Stage three, the woman can have as much sex as she likes, just as a man does, a la carte." Hermione said.

Luna clasped her hands, pleased as she had now finished pouring the freshly brewed coffee and pleased at Hermione's wonderful book. However, the burns on her hands were not the only things about to pain her.

Fifteen minutes later, the women walked out of that room, stomping a bit more with each passing step.

"MEN!" Hermione screamed as they reached the taxi after the worst meeting of her life was finally over. "They say they'll publish my book, but they're not willing to publicize it? I can't believe this!" She exclaimed as she leaned back into the seat of the cab.

"Don't worry Hermione. Do you remember when you said that you wanted publicity somewhere where men could see it to? In a men's magazine perhaps? The most prestigious wizard's magazine?" Luna asked about to climax on her point.

"Know?" Hermione said.

"Well, you did and I—" Luna went to continue.

"No, I mean Know, the magazine for wizards in the know!" Hermione asked in an anxious voice.

"Oh, well yes, but this part's even better! I got you a cover story written by Know Magazine's star journalist Harry Potter!" Luna exclaimed.

"The Ladies' Man, Man's Man, Man about Town?" Hermione asked quickly.

"None other…and I hear he's gorgeous and available." Luna said dreamily as Hermione shot her a look. "Oh yes, we don't care about that, Down with Love!"

Hermione smiled, "I can't believe this…me on the cover of Know…KNOW!"

"No." Harry Potter said to his boss and best friend Ron Weasley as they traveled in a taxi back to Know Magazine's building.

"Oh come on Harry, please, for me?" Ron begged. "A woman has never called me in my life, let alone invited me for a drink. I think this Luna really likes me…I think I really like her, and I think I would like her if she really likes me, which she does, because as the owner of Know Magazine, I've led her to believe that I have some pull with my staff."

"Well then pull some other staff because I'm not doing it." Harry said indignantly.

"Harry, the best thing I have to offer a woman is the best thing you have to offer a woman…you." Ron replied.

Harry laughed. "Sorry Ron, I'm using me. Besides why would I want to write a cover story for some English spinster?

"How do you know she's a spinster?" Ron asked crossing his arms over his chest and sighing angrily.

"Who else would write a book called Down with Love?" Harry said, crossing his arms right back at Ron."

"Please Harry! Please, please, please!" Ron begged.

"Fine, you know what, I'll do the story. You're lucky I'm your best friend and I better get a pay raise for this!" Harry laughed as his friend started to shake his hand in gratitude.