Yeah, that's right. I'm rewriting this. So? :P
For those of you who haven't even started the story yet, this is my version of the Cinderella tale. It's not going to be exactly the same as the original story, or probably any story you've read in this genre before, but don't think it's going to be bad because of that. I actually am starting to like this idea again, despite having taken a 10 month break from it.
Yes, I'm pathetic.
Anyway, I'm working on adding emotion to this story, as it's one thing I'm having trouble with. I want the reader to FEEL what Mikan is feeling throughout this entire story, so go ahead and tell me if you do or don't feel it. I love feedback, and I'm perfectly okay with anything you have to throw at me. Critiques, flames, criticism, praise, it all makes me think about my writing and make it better. And for those of you who've read the original first chapter and remember it, you'll be surprised at how much my writing has changed.
So read, enjoy, and please review! Thanks!
~Sunechirei
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. I do however own the plot and the writing.
"May I have this dance?"
Through the gentle rhythm of the quartet, I heard this voice, and turned to see who it could be, somewhat startled. The deepness of the voice is what startled me, as did the question itself. No one asked me to dance. Especially not men.
He stood behind me proudly, dressed in a tailored black suit, and a dark mask covered his eyes. I couldn't see them, as the slits of the mask were so thin I didn't think he could see through them. But apparently he could.
Extended in front of him was a hand; a perfectly tanned hand that waited patiently for me to take it. Let him know I did in fact, want to dance with him.
The idea of this scared me. Yet, it also pleased me in a way I didn't understand.
"A dance, good sir?" I asked, gently pushing his hand to the side. "I would greatly advise against such a thing. I am not a dancer, after all." As a clumsy, unpretty, nobody, it wouldn't be wise for him to dance with me. Despite having gone to the ball, I never planned on actually dancing with anyone, much less someone of his wealth.
"I do believe the decision to ask is up to me, Miss," the mysterious man said, his voice still low. His hand moved back, brushing against mine, and I felt a jolt in my stomach. He never took it, but he never it leave his touch either. Wherever my hand went, his followed. "I beg of you: do not try and get away. I desperately wish to be the one to steal your first dance of the night."
He'd been watching me. How else would he have known I had yet to dance with anyone that evening?
Before I could respond to him, the hand not chasing after my own moved to my back, pressing against it, and pushing me toward him. When my body made contact with his, I gasped, and tried to pull away. I'd never been this close to a man before.
My attempts to get away were thwarted when he finally grabbed my hand and pulled it up into a position to dance. I stared up at him, the mask on my face blocking my vision slightly. I could barely hear the music now, but the lights coming from the massive, diamond chandelier above us seemed to sparkle brighter than before.
It made everything so disorienting as he pulled me onto the dance floor. The heels I wore caused me to stumble a little bit, but he didn't let me fall. Just being with him made my heart flutter violently. The fact that he kept his arm wrapped around my back made it worse.
Who was he?
"Sir?" I eventually exclaimed, gaining back a little bit of sanity. I noticed the music had stopped. "I never agreed to dance with you."
The man chuckled while the music started again, and he started moving with the beat. It was a simple waltz, one two three, one two three... Before I knew it, I was being pulled along the dance floor, moving in time with the curious man. It made me feel something I had never felt before; absolute exhilaration.
"You're a fabulous dancer," the man said, whispering in my ear. "Why would I not want to dance with you?" I tried to speak, I really did, but the words were caught in my throat. He consumed me. I don't know why, but everything about him made my entire body numb with pleasure.
I didn't realize I could feel this kind of thing, and yet it came. After seventeen years, I finally felt the feeling of lust. Or, I think that's what it was.
He didn't let me go the entire night. I don't know how long we danced for; every second that passed clouded my mind more and more, until finally, I barely knew what was happening. Everything moved so quickly, and I felt euphoric. The life given to me vanished in my mind as nothing more than a dream.
I vaguely remember his voice whispering in my ear through every dance, and I think I responded to what he said. Only, I don't know what was said. Despite what the music was, no matter how the dances changed, he kept pulling me along, making me dance with him.
I didn't realize someone could be this happy.
Eventually, the music slowed, and his arms moved to my back, pulling me closer to him. I closed my eyes in pleasure at the contact, ignoring all the other masses dancing around me. They weren't important to me right then.
All of the other women in the room were thinking the same thing; am I dancing with the prince? Am I the one who's lucky enough to gain his favor and maybe have a chance to marry the richest man in the country?
"What are you thinking about, Miss?" the man suddenly asked. "You have a very blissful look on your face." The words seemed to caress my thoughts, and I flushed red, not sure how I could look blissful. I glanced down at my feet, trying to keep them steady through my embarrassment.
The knee lengths, sapphire blue dress swished around my legs while we dance, and the silver high heeled shoes I wore moved in ways I didn't know they could. Both shimmered in the dimmed lights, reflecting what my heart was doing.
"I'm... I'm just thinking about the purpose of this ball," I muttered as quietly as I could while still being heard. "You know, the reason why it's being held."
The man laughed, then released me for a second. He pushed a lock of raven black hair away from his face, causing me to dearly wish I could see his eyes. I wanted to know what they looked like. He could see my disgusting brown ones. The jeweled blue mask I wore only covered the top half of my face, and my eyes were hardly concealed.
If anyone I knew payed attention, they could easily figure out who I actually was.
Unfortunately, before I could say anything about my desire, the man pressed against my sides, and pulled me off the dance floor, behind a large, marble pillar. I gasped, not expecting it.
"You mean," he whispered in my ear, "for me to find a bride?"
Eyes half closed, I nodded, but then I realized exactly what he said to me.
"You? For you to find a bride?"
"That's right, me. Prince Natsume. The one who wants to find the perfect woman to marry. Someone he will cherish and love forever." Before I knew what he was doing, Prince Natsume pushed me back against the pillar, grabbing my wrists. "I think I found that girl."
I tried to push him away, but he simply lifted my hands above my head, keeping me trapped.
"What are you doing?" I asked, voice unsteady.
"Your hair is beautiful," Prince Natsume said, ignoring my question. He leaned his head in toward my ear. "Why do you keep it up?" The fact that he ignored my question bothered me. It reminded me of someone I knew. Someone I hated. But something about the way he complimented me kept that hatred bottled up.
"My mother's hair piece," I told him. The breath lingering on my neck made me shudder. "She always told me that I could wear it to a ball one day-"
"Well, it does look amazing on you, I hope you know that." His lips touched my bare skin so lightly I barely noticed. But it caused electric shocks to splay across my skin, and I squirmed.
I nodded then, my thoughts scattered, then Prince Natsume moved away from me a little, a smirk on his face. He stared down at me, and slowly, he moved closer. Moved down slowly. Inch by inch. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything.
No thinking.
No breathing.
No speaking.
Nothing.
Then the clock struck the hour.
We'll be leaving the ball at midnight.
Twelve times the clock rang.
"No!"
I pulled my wrists out of his grasp and pushed him away with all my strength. He didn't fight me this time, instead baking away so I could breath. I probably scared him.
"N-No! I can't! I can't...
"Miss, are you alright?" The worry in his voice made me feel guilty.
"I have to go!"
Without another word, I ducked away from Prince Natsume and dashed out of the hall, ignoring the footsteps following me. I had to get home before they did. They already did enough to me. They couldn't have another excuse to torture me. And, if they found out I'd danced with the prince...
"Wait, Miss?" the Prince called after me. "Why do you have to go?"
Tears streamed down my face while I ran. If only he knew. If only they all knew who I really was. Why I had to leave. What happened to me all the time.
But what could I say?
