I woke in the medicine cats den. The sun was shining in and for that i was grateful. The whole clan was now just getting over the vicious badger attack that had killed Sootfur and Cinderpelt.

I felt deep sorrow for my mentors death. If i had not been away with Crowfeather maybe i could have prevented it. But nothing could change that now.

I got to my paws and peered out. It was early sun high so most of the border patrols were already out. Hunting patrols were just about to be started. The clan had also been working on repairing the camp from the battle.

I felt deep shame deep inside but i also felt relief. I had come back to the place where i belonged, with the clan i belonged to. And even though i felt guilty, Crowfeather was to meet me at the river by Moonpool tonight.

At the thought of him i purred. How could it be so wrong to be in love with a cat just because he was from a different clan? The warrior code dictates that clans should be seperate but love is not seperate. I cant hide my feelings any better then he can. We were in love.

But i was also a medicine cat. I was to have no kits, have no mate. I was going against the warrior code just by seeing him. But for some reason i just could not let him go. Surely Starclan could see that i wasnt betraying my clan, i was just staying true to my heart.

Even so, i still felt guilt.

"Leafpool! Come quick Ferncloud is having stomach pains. Her kits might be on the way!" Dustpelt said bursting into the den.

"I will go at once." I replied.

I quickly made my way to the nursery. Inside Ferncloud was laying on her side breathing hard. I went up and pushed my body against hers to feel if she was hot. She wasnt. Next i pressed my paws on her upper chest, to which she whimpered. She had a belly ache.

"Dont worry, Its just a belly ache. Your kits are not coming just yet."

"Thanks Leafpool. It just hurt so bad and i didnt know if it was time."

"Thats alright, i'll have Dustpelt bring you some Juniper Berries to help settle the stomach." She nodded her head and thanks and i departed.

Firestar was at the highledge looking down at the camp. My heart surged with pride as i looked upon my father. What did he think of my actions? I didnt want to find out. I quickly made my way back into my den.

Cinderpelt had kept the den pretty well organized before she went to Starclan. We were running low on Yarrow and Chervile but i knew good places to find each herb. I went over to Cinderpelts nest. I could still smell her scent.

I bowed my head in memory and then started the task of taking out the old bedding. Nothing could replace the ache i felt for my mentor. She was hunting pray up in Starclan now. They would take good care of her.

After the bedding was cleared, i laid in the den's opening and watched my clanmates. The warrior den was just about empty. The apprentice's were out doing apprentice duties. Clearing out bedding, checking for ticks, assisting the elders. The nursery was all mews. Things were going back to the way they were before the badger attack.

The only thing missing was Cinderpelt, and my heart.

Crowfeather stole my heart. Him and my sister both went on the journey to the Sun-Drown Place, and i dont know even how i fell for him in the first place. He was sullen and kinda grim. I knew he fell in love with another cat from Riverclan, Feathertail. But she had perished with the Tribe of Endless Hunting.

It had left him with a dark whole in his heart. But i had come along and all that had changed. He sneaked into my soul just as easily as i did him. He even told me that he thought he'd never feel this way after Feathertail.

So many obstacles stood in our way. He was a cat of Windclan whereas i was Thunderclan. And to top it all off, i was a medicine cat. That was my calling. My head was full of herbs, but my heart full of him.

i stifled a sigh. There was work to be done. I padded out into the clearing and made for the entrance to the camp. There was a patch of yarrow just down by the river. I had to collect more just in case.

Brackenfur was on guard duty.

"Going out Leafpool?"

"Yes, were low on some supplies and i couldnt sit in camp anymore."

He seemed awkward being around me. News of my departure when my clan needed me most had struck some cats harder then others.

"Did you want an escort?"

"No, i'll just be down by the river. I shouldnt be too long."

He let me pass.

I pushed my way through the brambles and started at a fast trot. I could collect my supplies and be back in time for night fall. Then i would have to find some way to sneak out of camp. I could always sneak through the brambles in the dirt place.

I felt guilt slam into me. I was a medicine cat sneaking out of camp to meet another clan member. I pushed it aside. There was too much sorrow in the camp, i didnt need to add more.

I found my way to the river. Clumps of yarrow were bunched up against some rocks. I quickly clipped the stems and collected as mush as i could carry. With my mouth full i slowly went back to camp.

This was my life. Collecting, healing, and sharing tongues with Starclan. In no time at all i was back at the camp's entrance. Ashfur was on guard now. I gave him a nod and slipped past. Patrols were still out and the fresh kill pile had been restocked.

I put my herb in the medicine store and went for something to eat. The kill pile was a little small, so i only took a small vole. I took it to my den and ate. Taking little bites to make the time go faster. Night fall was closing in and soon all patrols would be back. Then when it was safe, i was to go meet Crowfeather.

The evening patrol finally made its way back. Cloudtail was sharing food with Brightheart. Squirreltail was laying near Brambleclaw. Everything was the way it was supposed to be. Before you knew it, all cats were going into their dens.

I laid in the mouth of my den waiting. I had to wait til at least most of the cats were asleep. Firestar was the last to depart to his den with Sandstorm. I was anxious and nervous at the same time. I waited til it was almost dusk and started for the dirt place. No cat could accuse me of sneaking out if im in here. They had Thornclaw by the entrance but slipping through here meant i didnt have to go anywhere near him.

I went to the back where the brambles were thick. I pushed some aside with my paws. Trying to make little noise as possible. I squeezed through the gap and pushed some back to cover the hole.

I cautiously sneaked around the camps edge to avoid being detected by Thornclaw. I trotted through the trees always on the look out for other cats. Once i made it through the forrest it would be an easy walk to the river.

The river made way to the two-leg place that we had stayed at while we were leaving our clans. We wouldnt meet there this time, but it was a useful place to have. The river came into sight. I walked along side it, following the path. He should be here any minute now.

And then i seen him, and my whole world stopped. He was beautiful. All Windclan cats were small and sleep to catch prey on the moorlands, but to me he was perfect. All other cats saw him as prickly but he treated me with tenderness that i've never felt before.

He was sitting by the river, looking downcast. As if he thought i wouldnt come? But when he heard me coming, his whole face lit up. He ran to me and i to him. I rubbed my pelt all down his flank.

"Leafpool you came!"

"I couldnt stay away, you know that"

"I thought maybe you had changed your mind..."

I rubbed my cheek against his cheek and replied.

"I could never change my mind about you. I love you,"

"And i love you too. I couldnt stand still this whole day hoping that you would be here, and hoping that you would feel the same."

"I could not stay away. I will admit that i dont feel that my clan would approve but my heart says this is right."

He rubbed against me once more. We laid by the river, content in each others warmth. I didnt want this to end. I wanted him with me at all times. Not just when we could sneak away from our clan. It wasnt right. Every cat has a choice in what they do, but no choice in who they love. This was real. This was supposed to happen.

"I dont want to be without you Crowfeather."

"Me either, but we are from different clans, and you are a medicine cat. There is no other choice."

"You could live with me in Thunderclan?"

"I love my clan Leafpool. I am loyal to Windclan. I couldnt hunt in your forrests. I was born on the moor's. Why dont you come with me?"

"On the moor's? I couldnt do that either. There has to be a way!"

We sat in silence thinking. Why did life have to be so hard. I wanted Crowfeather as my mate. That was not something so complex. I would find a way. No matter what. We would be together. Starclan guide me in my next action.

"I will go to my father. I will tell him that we are as one or not at all. I will not be seperated from you and i will not live in agony anymore over this. Either we be allowed to live together or we dont live here at all. We were going to leave once, and i can do it again. I love my clan, and i am loyal as i will ever be. But this is tearing my heart apart. There is no reason why we should not be together. I will talk to him and i will make him see reason."

Crowfeather sat across from me and looked into my eyes for what seemed like ages. All i wanted to do was to be here, next to him. For all of my life, and the next. Something this strong, could not be torn apart just yet.

Alls he had to say, were a few words.

"Starclan help us."