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At the Magic Box...

Giles: Buffy...Dawn must...(pauses for dramatic effect)

Xander: Shh! They're showing the mandatory opening credits with clips of past episodes! (pounds a nail into the table with his hammer)

Anya sighs happily.

Giles: Oh, I'm sorry!

A few minutes pass...

A hunch-backed imp steps into the set, rolling out a column of red carpet. A middle-aged overweight man with curly red hair wearing a cape and a beret walks out on the carpet like any king would do.

Imp: (plays the trumpet) Hear, hear, the Master wishes to speak now!

Joss: (clap hands) Action, action!

Imp: The Master has spoken!

The Master and his imp walk off the set.

Giles: Buffy...Dawn must...(pauses for dramatic effect)...die! (cocks an eyebrow)

The Scooby Gang let out a collective gasp and look away from Giles to Buffy. Buffy is standing in the Magic Box's doorway with her back to them. Spike lights a cigarette. Buffy slowly turns around, her hair rippling as if being blown by wind.

A minute passes.

Buffy is still turning around. Willow has fallen asleep, her head resting on Xander's shoulder. Tara stares off into the distance beyond the window. Anya drums her fingers on the table, impatient.

Giles: Oh, do hurry up! My eyebrow is getting sore! (eyebrow's still cocked)

Buffy: (mouth slowly forming words) Giles...Dawn...cannot...die...!

Giles: (stepping forward) She must! We have no choice in that matter!

Anya: Yes, that's right. We die if Dawn stays alive and we live if Dawn dies. Personally, I prefer the latter.

Xander: Ahn! (pounds another nail into the table)

Willow: (snoring lightly)

Xander shakes his shoulder, shaking in a not-so-subtle way of awakening Willow.

Willow: An earthquake! (eyes turn black) Hectate, hear me speak...

Xander: (holds up a yellow crayon)

Willow: (sobs uncontrollably) I'm sorry, Giles!

Giles: Yes, thank you. (glares at Buffy) I've gone over countless legends, myths, lore, and such on the subject. One thing remains the same... (pauses) Dawn must die!

Buffy: No...why? (tears welling up in eyes)

Giles: (deep sigh, looking away) Glory wishes to return to her home dimension. Dawn is the Key. Glory must use the Key to open a portal to her hell dimension. How she plans to achieve that is unknown at the moment. But nevertheless, once the Key is activated, it stays...activated.

Buffy: Meaning...what...?

Giles: There are mystical barriers holding back the hundreds, thousands of dimensions on this world. The Key does not open just a single dimension. No, once the Key is activated, every barrier will fall. (dramatic pause) Unimaginable creatures from the other dimensions will overrun this world. People will die! Hear this, the world is doomed!

A collective gasp from the Scooby Gang.

Buffy: There...must...be...other...way...! (lips pressing together to form a tight line)

Giles: No! Dawn must die!

Buffy: Exactly...how...will...Glory...use...Dawn...?

Spike: (pounds chest) Blood! Blood! Blood! 'Tis the blood! She must bleed Dawn dry! Yesss, blood! Blood is life! (lights another cigarette)

Xander: So...you're saying Glory has to bleed Dawn?

A black bunny appears by Anya.

Anya: (standing up and sings) Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!

Two bunnies.

Anya: They've got them hoppy legs and twitchy noses!

Ten bunnies.

Anya: And what's with all the carrots?

Fifty bunnies.

Anya: What do they need such good eyesight for anyway? (playing air guitar) Bunnies! Bunnies! It must be bunnies!

By this time, hundreds of bunnies fill the Magic Box. They all stand up and do the jazz hands and promptly vanish. All is normal now.

Buffy's mind briefly flashbacks to the time she made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for her dear sister. Buffy and Dawn are in the kitchen. Two jars--crunchy peanut butter and grape jelly--are on the counter. Two slices of white bread lay on a paper plate, awaiting to be made into a sandwich.

Dawn: Hurry up! Or I'll run out and get pregnant!

Buffy continues to twist the peanut butter jar's lid open. Centimeter by centimeter, the lid twists open.

Buffy: Dawn...I'm...getting...to...it...soon...

Dawn stamps her feet and runs out of the house.

Mustard Man: (pops in the Summers' kitchen) They got the mustard out!

Buffy: (taking out a butter knife) I'm...ready...Dawnie...!

To be continued...