Hello all! This is a re-upload of chapter one! I'm in the process of re-writing a few of the chapters because I was looking back and I felt like it was incredibly cringy so I'm fixing it! Feel free to re-read them, but don't feel obligated! The same general idea is the same and it doesn't affect later chapters, in fact, it makes more sense! I've been working on this story for quite a while and I like to think that I've grown as a writer and so I hope that you embark upon this journey and come to love the gang as much as I do! The last update is chapter 4, after that everything is the same as I originally posted!
"Who wants to know?" Thomas, my bartender and friend, asks in a tone implying that the answer better be good. He's talking to a well-groomed man though.
"Captain Christopher Pike of Starfleet." The man says and Thomas's eyes shift to me. I nod.
"Alright, she's over there." He nods in my direction and as Captain Pike walks over, I sit up a little straighter and put my hood down. He sits down across from me.
"Olivia Gray? It's nice to meet you." He says as he offers his hand and I shake it firmly. "We need to have a talk."
"It's nice to meet you too, sir." I say, successfully keeping the confusion off of my tone. "What do we need to talk about?"
"I received an anonymous tip that you were considering skipping out on Starfleet and I came to see if I could change your mind." He says and my eyebrows raise.
"Well, I'm not sure if you can. Xenolinguistics is pretty competitive and if I'm on my way out of here, I need it to be guaranteed." I say and he sets a pamphlet in front of me. "What's this?"
"It's a new program that I think you're a good candidate for." He says and I read through it.
"With all due respect, I'm not so sure you're right about that. This says that I'll need to have advanced combat training and I'm not exactly in the right kind of shape for that stuff." I look at him, he's sizing me up.
"I know a guy who can get you up to speed. In more ways than one." He says and I look at the pamphlet again. "You're capable of more than what you think. You're not going to find the support here to tap into that. Your intellect will be wasted if you stay."
"Captain Pike…" I say and then I take a deep breath. "I don't know who called you to come here or what they told you, but once I go, I am opening up a huge can of worms. I haven't even told my family or my fiancé that I was accepted yet…"
"I know that if you stay, that man will end up killing you." He says and I feel the blood drain from my face. "I know that he tried recently."
"He wasn't trying to kill me…" The excuse is automatic. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.
"I've spoken to you once and I know that you've got a lot of nerve in spite of what you've been through. Come to Starfleet and get the respect you deserve." He says and my hands curl into light fists to control the shaking.
"I need guarantees…and even if I go into mediation, I don't think I can do the combat stuff." I say, thankful for my voice staying steady. I open my eyes and look at him.
"If you say yes, I can get you to my friend in Iowa in two hours. He'll get you up to speed for the start of the semester." He says and my heart is racing. "I don't do this for every cadet, but I see the potential you have. Do you say yes?" I look at my bag on the seat beside me. I've got some clothes in there.
"Yes, sir." I say as I look back at him, right in the eye. "And you said you can have me there in two hours?"
"All you need to do now is tell your family. Just so no one files a missing persons report." He says and that's when fear creeps back into play.
"Right, okay." I say and then I take out my phone and dial my father. It rings twice before he answers.
"Niki, you need to get your ass back home right now. I don't know why you think you can pull this kind of stunt." He says as soon as he picks up.
"Actually, Dad, I'm never coming home." I say, sounding more confident than I feel. "A couple of months ago, I applied to Starfleet and I took the aptitude tests and I got in."
"You're not going to Starfleet." That's Marcus, he sounds as condescending as ever. "You really think they want you? You're better off staying here with me."
"Actually, they do want me. I'm done with all of this. I wish you the best with all of your future endeavors." I say because that's the first thing that comes to mind.
"If you step so much as one toe outside of Illinois, you can kiss this entire family goodbye." My father says and that doesn't hurt like he wants it to.
"That is unfortunate, but if that is the way it has to be. Goodbye." I say and then I hang up and look at Captain Pike. "What's next?"
"You took your first step off of that sinking ship. If you'll come with me, we'll make some arrangements." He says as he stands up. I stand as well and shoulder my bag.
"Yeah, just a second." I say and I go up to the bar. "Thanks for everything, Thomas. Can you let Pete know I decided to go?"
"Of course, take care of yourself Miss Olivia." He says and I smile before I rejoin Captain Pike and leave Scully's for hopefully the last time.
I know I look suspicious as I enter the shipyard that I will be departing the Midwest from, so I already have my documentation ready before the flight officer even has a chance to say something.
"At least you're aware of how suspicious you look." She says as she takes the padd from me. "Cadet Gray, why aren't you in uniform?"
"There was an issue. Captain Pike said that I could get it sorted out once we reach San Francisco." I say and she hands me back my padd.
"Alright, as you were. You'll be allowed to board in fifteen minutes. The rest of the cadets are waiting over there." She gestures to where everyone else is waiting and I offer a slight smile before I head over there. I notice most of the guys checking me out, mostly because they're not even trying to hide it. I hit them with my 'fuck off' glare and they look away.
"You're going to have to teach me how to do that." A woman says as she walks up and stands next to me. "Nyota Uhura."
"Olivia Gray. Nice to meet you." I say with a small smile. "And really, I think the look only works so well because I don't care what they think of me. I'm not just something pretty to look at."
"Solid point, I don't think some people get that." She says, rolling her eyes. "So what are you majoring in?"
"I'm going into the new mediation program, so a good mix of xenolinguistics and combat." I say and she nods appreciatively.
"We'll probably be seeing a lot of each other then. I'm going in for xenolinguistics." She says and I smile. I've already made an acquaintance.
"It'll be nice to see a familiar face, then. I'm not great at making friends." I say and she offers a smile.
"I don't think you're doing too bad." She says and then it is announced that we're allowed to board now. I see Marcus looking around and then he spots me.
"I'll see you onboard?" I ask and she nods before she walks away. I steel myself before I meet him halfway. "Marcus, what are you doing here?"
"I came to bring you home." He says, shoulders squared. I'm intimidated, but I don't show it. His imposing stature is what has always made it easy for him to have dominance over me, but not anymore.
"I will not be returning to Illinois with you, Marcus." I say and he sighs, a very agitated noise that sends my anxiety into overdrive.
"Niki, your home is with me. We're gonna get married and we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together. You're mine." He says and that causes the anxiety to be replaced with anger.
"My home is with Starfleet. And as far as I'm concerned, there's not a place on this whole damn planet far enough away from you to satisfy me. You are done hurting me." I say and before I can react, he punches me. I duck out of the way of his next punch and hit him in the solar plexus as hard as I can. He hunches over and I grab him by the shoulders and knee him in the face before I push kick him. He falls back. "Goodbye, Marcus." I turn and nearly run into a bedraggled man who smells like a bar. "Sorry" I go to walk away and he places a hand on my shoulder.
"Darlin', why don't you sit down for a minute and let me take a look at that eye?" He asks and I raise an eyebrow. "I'm a doctor."
"I guess if you feel like you need to." I say, some bite still in my tone from my anger. I glance over and see security taking Marcus away and I feel a little relieved. "I'm sorry, it's not your fault."
"That's alright." He says and then he leads me over to a bench and I sit down. He produces a small flashlight. "Now just follow this with your eyes." I know the drill well enough by this point. "Any dizziness?"
"Just a bit." I say and then I shake my head. "It'll pass soon. It may be hard to believe, but this isn't my first rodeo."
"I figured, looks like he was a real winner." He says and then he clicks off the flashlight. "The good news is, you're gonna be able to keep the eye."
"That's such a relief." I say with a hand over my heart. "I'm Olivia Gray, it's nice to meet you Doctor…"
"McCoy, Leonard McCoy." He says as he puts the flashlight away. We stand up and begin walking towards the shuttle. Once we're inside, we go our separate ways. I look around and Nyota spots me and she raises her eyebrows.
"What the hell happened to you?" She asks and I sigh as I take a seat and strap myself in. The dizziness isn't gone yet.
"Some people aren't so thrilled that I'm leaving." I say, as I don't really want to get into it. "But I defended myself, don't worry."
"Well, we should probably be glad that I didn't see it." Another woman says as she takes the seat beside me. "Troian Sullivan."
"Olivia Gray." I say as I shake her hand. "And I'm hopeful that he got the hint this time." She laughs a little, but then her expression changes as a man who also looks to have been in a fight walks past us and sits with a seat in between us.
"I told you, damn it. I don't need a doctor. I am a doctor. I have aviophobia. That means the fear of dyin' in a flying thing." A familiar voice carries across the ship and I look over. Leonard McCoy.
"You need to sit down before I make you sit down." The flight officer says and he begrudgingly agrees. He heads over and sits down in the empty seat between me and the guy who apparently freaked Troian Sullivan out.
"I may throw up on ya." McCoy says as he gets himself strapped in. He's not talking to me though.
"I think these things are pretty safe." The guy says and McCoy looks at him for a moment, unimpressed.
"Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull and our blood boils in thirteen seconds. A solar flare might crop up and cook us in our seats. And wait'll you're sittin' pretty with Andorian shingles. See if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger wrapped in silence and darkness." He sounds a little tense.
"Well I hate to break this to you, but Starfleet operates in space." The other guy says and I shake my head to myself…that's pretty obvious.
"Yeah? Well I got no place else to go. The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce." McCoy says, producing a flask and taking a drink. That's why he smelled like a bar. "All I've got left is my bones."
"Jim Kirk." The man finally introduces himself. McCoy takes a drink from a flask before he offers it to Kirk.
"McCoy, Leonard McCoy." He says and Kirk takes a drink. I've probably just witnessed the beginnings of a beautiful friendship.
"So, Gray, have you got a roommate lined up?" Troian asks and I look at her instead of at my hands. Eye contact is something I'm working on.
"I don't. I figured Starfleet would just throw me in with someone." I say with a shrug. "Why? Are you interested?"
"I am, actually. There's something about you." She says and I smile a little. "You seem like my kind of person."
"Well, since we're going to be best friends, I think we should come up with nicknames for each other." I say and she chuckles.
"Yeah? Let me think." She says as she looks at me. "Olivia? We could go for the obvious Liv, but you don't look like a Liv. How about I call you Ollie?"
"I like that." I say, even though it reminds me of my brother and that makes me a little sad. "Let's see…Troian Sullivan…Sully would be acceptable, but I don't know if that's best friend material. Why don't I just call you Tro? Our ship name can be Trollie."
"Trollie? I love it." She says and I laugh. Her amused expression turns to one of annoyance as she looks over my shoulder. "What do you want, JT?"
"I didn't think you were going the Starfleet route." Jim Kirk says and I glance at him before I make eye contact with McCoy. He raises his eyebrows.
"Things change apparently." She says and he offers a 'fair enough' look. "What made you want to join?"
"Pike dared me to do better." He says and apparently that makes sense to her. He looks at me then and what some consider a sexy smirk falls in place. "Pleasure to meet you, Jim Kirk." He offers his hand.
"Olivia Gray." I say, using a tone that denounces any ideas that he might have a chance with me. "You doing okay now, Doctor?"
"McCoy'll do." He says and I do my best to hide my amusement. "And I'm fine. We're not dead…yet."
"You sound about as optimistic as I can be." I say with a laugh. He looks grumpy, but then he just shakes his head.
"How's that dizziness? Gone away yet?" He asks and I try to gauge how I'm feeling. Not too bad all things considered.
"I'm still a little dizzy, but it'll pass. Thanks." I say and then I place my cold hand on my face. "I definitely want to get an ice pack when we land."
"What happened? I don't typically see shiners like that on girls like you." Jim says and I purse my lips.
"Loan shark. Came to try and collect before I left town." I say and then I laugh. "No, even though I returned the ring, my ex isn't convinced that I'm serious about being done. I politely declined his invitation to return 'home'." I use air quotes.
"Politely declined." McCoy says with a shake of his head. "If that was the polite way of declinin', I'd hate to see your impolite way." I laugh again. "You were smart to kick that loser to the curb."
"If only my family felt the same way." I say wistfully. "Apparently twenty-two is past my prime. Nobody will ever want to marry me and I'll end up a spinster."
"Marriage ain't all it's cracked up to be. Take it from me, Darlin'." He says with a shake of his head. "And twenty-two? You've got nothin' but time if that's what you want."
"Maybe I can just be married to my work. I plan to hit the ground running. The summer was incredibly boring not having papers to write." I say with a sigh.
"What are you majoring in?" Tro asks and I smile because I've warmed up to the idea of my future position.
"I'm doing the new mediation track. Captain Pike thinks I have what it takes, so we'll see." I say with a shrug.
"You know? I'm going to support you, but the idea of you going in for those combat classes kind of makes me worried." She says and that causes a small lump to form in my throat. She's known me twenty minutes. In the past month and a half, I have trained in krav maga and I've put on enough weight to break a hundred pounds now.
"I'm small but mighty…and I plan on not being so small anymore." I say, not wanting to go too much into detail about it.
"You like jumpin' in over your head, don't ya?" McCoy asks and I chuckle at that. I hope that talking is distracting him from his phobia at least.
"At five-two, it's not hard to jump in over my head." I say with a smile in his direction. "I'm not worried, I double majored and had three minors in college."
"Yeah? What were those? If you don't mind me askin'." He asks and I only feel a little awkward under the attention.
"Not at all. I majored in psychology and sociology. Social psych was my favorite, so the second major made sense. Then I minored in xenolinguistics, health sciences, and creative writing." He shakes his head. "What's that? Is my minor in health sciences amusing to you?"
"No, it's the creative writing that gets me." He says and I laugh, shaking my own head at him.
"I did as much as I could to piss my father off. He's the sort of guy who thinks that women belong in the home, popping babies out left and right." I say and Tro shakes her head. "Starfleet was the final straw. I'm officially disowned. But I don't feel so bad about that, he said if I crossed the state line he was done? I sent a video of me moonwalking across the state line."
"Please tell me you saved that." Troian says as she laughs. I nod, unable to contain my own laughter as I nod. "Oh god, I'll bet he loved that."
"Oh he was furious. It was wonderful." I shake my head. "So I've been hiding out in Iowa for the past month and a half."
"That's not exactly the sort of place you think of when you think of hiding out somewhere." Kirk says and I shrug.
"I guess it isn't, but I had a connection." I don't intend for it to sound mysterious, but it does. "It beats hanging out in a gross dive bar where your closes friend is a man named One-Eyed Pete."
"Are you kidding? That sounds like an amazing place to hide out." He says and I laugh. "Did he really only have one eye?"
"No, he definitely had two eyes. But between barely weighing a hundred pounds and him being the sort of guy he was, you don't exactly ask how one gets that sort of nickname." I say, amused with myself as the curiosity burns. "He and Thomas, the bartender, looked after me. Scully's was great…but it drew a certain crowd."
"One-Eyed Pete doesn't sound like a half-bad guy at all." Tro says and then she shakes her head. "I never thought I'd say anything like that."
"Yeah…well…" I shrug. "If there's anything I've learned in the past month, it's that going with the flow is a lot less stressful."
"We'll see." She says and I chuckle. "I think I'm going to adopt you. Since you got disowned and everything. My dad will love you."
"We went from best friends to sisters in half an hour? This relationship is moving a little fast, but I don't think I hate it." I say and she winks at me.
"How is Big Sul doing?" Kirk asks as he tries to get a better look at her. She looks unimpressed.
"Last I saw he was doing alright." She says, deciding to be civil. "He's off world right now. How is your mom?"
"She's also off world." He says, giving no clues to the state of her well-being. That leads me to believe he hasn't spoken with her in a while. "The douchebag finally left."
"Good." She says, her tone is a little softer now. I glance over at him and I immediately feel that there is something there. They used to be close. We hit some turbulence and McCoy's hands squeeze into fists, his knuckles turn white.
"Settle down." I say gently as I reach and take one of his hands in a comforting gesture. Sometimes that's all you need to snap out of that anxiety. "With my psychology background, I might be able to help you overcome that phobia of yours. Starfleet doesn't have to be hell for you."
"I appreciate the sentiment." He says dryly and I chuckle as he grips my hand tightly, but not so tight that it hurts me.
I step out of the audio lab I've been using for the last couple of hours and lean against the wall to collect myself before I head out into the main hall. I do not want to leave this building looking like I spent the past five minutes sobbing.
"Olivia? What's wrong?" McCoy asks as he walks up. Oh yeah, he was meeting up with me to grab lunch.
"Nothing." I say, unconvincing as I clear my throat. He gives me a look. "I stumbled across a pretty emotional audio file. It was someone's last words to their wife before…" I press the heels of my hands to my eyes. "I have no idea how I got there…but…" I take a deep breath. "Sorry."
"Don't be. I just didn't realize you were such a bleedin' heart." He says and I give him a look. "I'm just tryin' to make ya laugh, Darlin'." I roll my eyes. "That must've been hard to listen to."
"It was like a car accident, I just couldn't pull myself away from it. I still believe in love in spite of everything and so…even though it was their last communication…it kind of makes you want that sort of connection to someone." I shake my head. "Anyway, let's go get lunch. I'm starving."
"When aren't you starving?" He asks and I scoff. "I don't even know where you put all the food you eat. It's a medical marvel."
"That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me." I say as I put my hand over my heart.
"Yeah? You've problem heard them all, haven't you?" He asks and I raise my eyebrows at him, giving an amused smile. I'm pretty sure he just indirectly called me hot. He opens the door for me.
"Thanks." I say as I step through. "So what class did you just have? Were you learning about how to treat Space Madness?"
"That is a thing, you know." He says and defensively and I smirk at him. "Oh you just think you're so cute. All three of ya."
"Please, McCoy, I don't think I'm cute." I imply that I know I'm cute, but really I don't think I'm all that great. Sure, better than average, but I'm not as great as what people apparently think.
"Don't let Sullivan hear you talkin' about yourself like that." He says and I raise an eyebrow. "That self-deprecating tone."
"All I said was that I don't think I'm cute. What if I know I am?" I ask with a shrug and he shakes his head.
"Whatever you say." He says and I chuckle. "Did you end up gettin' any sleep last night?" I think back. "You physically can't keep doin' that to yourself."
"It's technically not my fault. I haven't found my study stride yet. I'll be reviewing notes and reading material and next thing I know it's time to get ready. I think I did get like forty-five minutes last night." I say, trying to defend myself.
"I'm gonna start comin' in there and sedatin' you. No one's gonna stop me, either." He says and I chuckle. "I get that you have a lot to study, but you're not good to Starfleet dead on your feet, Darlin'."
"On the contrary, I think that there is some merit to me being able to function on minimal sleep." I say with a grin. "But I am searching for that stride. I'll get there, but we're only a little over a month in." He gets an exasperated look. We make it to the mess hall and grab our trays before we locate a table and sit down.
"So I've been meanin' to talk to you about somethin'." He says and I give him my full attention. "Your attending physician, Forbey. What do you think about him?"
"I met him briefly and I've been putting off my initial physical exam." I say and he sighs. "He's creepy. I made up an excuse and got out of there as fast as I could."
"That sigh wasn't for you. He's a quack." He says and I get what he's trying to say to me now.
"So you want to be my doctor." I say, a little amused by that. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you consider me a friend."
"Somethin' like that." He says and I feel the smirk fall across my face. "Just request me as your physician."
"Alright, I'll put in a request when I go back to my room." I say and he pulls out his padd and pulls up a form. "What's that?"
"Just sign right there and then initial there." He says and I sign with my finger, trying to contain my amusement.
"I had no idea you were so anxious about this." I say as he puts the device away and goes back to eating.
"Forbey is a quack." He reiterates. "When do you want your exam?" I shrug. "Alright then, we'll take care of it tomorrow when you undoubtedly report to the clinic with an injury."
"Ye of so little faith." I say, pretending to be offended. The combat has not been easy, but it's going to get better.
"Shut up." I say darkly as I hobble into the clinic. McCoy stands up immediately and helps me walk over to an examination room. He essentially lifts me onto the bed.
"What'd ya end up hurtin' this time?" He asks as he grabs a device and starts scanning me. "I'll give ya shit for it later."
"Always so professional." I sigh and wince. "Probably a bruised rib or two…I will definitely have a nasty bruise on my back and then my ankle."
"Bruising. No cracks in the ribs." He says more to himself. "Sprained ankle, bruised metatarsal. We'll have to keep an eye on, you don't want any fluid buildup. Ice and rest is the best we can do for now."
"McCoy, I can't afford to sit out. There has to be something else you can do." I say and he looks at me.
"Gray," It sounds weird because he usually just calls me darlin'. "There is more that I can do, but not until some of that swelling goes down. I'll be more than happy to check on it later, but for now you're just gonna have to deal with it." He goes over to a cabinet and grabs a pressure bandage. "We need to have a conversation."
"I thought we were having one." I say dryly. He gives me a look as he removes my shoe. He holds me stead as I pull the leg of my pants up so that it doesn't cover the afflicted area. I see the bruising and swelling and sigh. "Do you mean as Olivia and McCoy or as doctor and patient?"
"The former of the two." He says as he begins to wrap my ankle. "As you know, my shift ends when the next doctor comes in to relieve me. I can see ya back to your room if you can wait." I nod. "Good. You can rest in here with an ice pack. Lay back." He orders and I sigh, but obey anyway. He props my ankle with a pillow before he places the ice pack. I fold my hands across my stomach and stare up at the ceiling. If he wants to talk as friends, it has to be about what he's learned due to the access he has to my medical records. I'm not stranger to the hospital. Who knows what else he might have access to. I jump as the door opens and McCoy walks in with his things. "Ready to go?"
"Sure." I say as I remove the ice pack and gently hop off the table. I see as he tenses to move to my side. He also gives me a long look. I wink at him.
"Just leave your shoe off, I brought you some crutches." He says and I maintain eye contact as I sit down on the chair and pull my shoe back on. I bring my knee to my chest and tie the laces.
"I don't need crutches. I made it here just fine on my own and luckily we aren't too far from our residence hall." I stand up, not putting much weight on it. "This is by no means the worst injury I've ever had, as I'm sure you're aware."
"At least put all your weight on me." He says as he walks over and slips an arm around my waist. I don't say anything as we head out and to the residence hall. It was kind of funny that he and Jim ended up being our neighbors in the co-ed housing. I tap in my code as we reach my room and we go inside.
"I'm going to change first. Then we can talk." I say as I go into my room and close the door. I change into yoga pants and a tee shirt before I throw my hair into a bun on top of my head. I take a steadying breath before I go out and sit on the couch beside my friend. "What do you want to know?"
"How are you alive?" He asks, not easing into it like I had hoped he would. That's not exactly his style though. "What on Earth were you thinking?"
"First off," I start, my tone sounds a little small to me and I don't like that. "sometimes people can say something so much that you believe it's the truth. The guy I fell in love with was not the guy he ended up being. Before I found that out, he treated me better than my dad did. I thought that he wanted to help me accomplish my dreams." I take a breath. "And second, I survived Marcus because of my father. When you've been getting the shit knocked out of you since the age of ten, you learn to take hits rather well."
"The most recent, you definitely don't stab someone you wanna keep around." He says and I close my eyes. "How'd you survive that?"
"We were both drunk, but I was a little less so. I sobered up pretty quickly when he started hitting me and after he stabbed me, I ran to Scully's for some reason and Pete took me to the hospital." I close my eyes at the still pretty fresh memory. Pete had been furious, I thought he might kill Marcus, but I begged him not to. "After that…if not for an acquaintance from one of my classes I doubt I would have lived much longer. He convinced me to take the aptitude tests and apply."
"I figured that Marcus hittin' ya was a pretty common thing, but I didn't know about your dad." He says and I nod.
"It didn't start until I was ten." I say softly. "I have an older brother and he took the brunt of the abuse up until he turned eighteen and left. That's when I apparently started doing things that bothered him and so…" I shake my head. "If I'd been smart, I would have run when I was eighteen too, but instead, I thought Marcus was going to save me. I was stupid."
"Well, you're outta there now." He says and then there's a silence that isn't exactly uncomfortable. "You should prop up that ankle." He takes the pillow from behind his back and sets it on the coffee table. I smile and prop my ankle on it. He produces an ice pack from his bag and he places it. "I never wanna let that idiot hurt you again."
"That's the idea. Well, not letting him hurt me. You don't have anything to do with that." I say and he gives me a look. "What?"
"You're my friend." He says and that, of all things, is what makes me feel emotional. "And I don't know what you think of friendship, but in my book that means that sometimes, even if you don't like it, you've gotta stick your neck out for 'em."
"I'm not worth all that." I say, waving away his words. "I really appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not going to let anyone stick their neck out for me."
"Darlin' it's not like I got much left to lose. Remember? The whole damn planet." He says and that makes me laugh.
"That's bull shit. I know for a fact you have a great relationship with your parents." I say and he allows that. "You have a lot to lose…and I guess I'm building up some things to lose and that scares me."
"If you weren't at least a little scared after what oy fled, I'd be concerned that you were stupid or somethin'." He says and I can't help but laugh at that. "You don't have to face this alone, ya know. Sullivan adopted you, remember?"
"Big Sul does love me even though he's never met me face to face." I allow and then I frown. "Don't tell Jim about my record. You know how upset he gets when Marcus is brought up."
"I'm not gonna lie to him, but I won't bring it up on my own. That and there's patient confidentiality." He says and I guess that's okay.
"I don't know what it is about them, but they are incredibly protective over me." I say with a shake of my head.
"You've got a way with people like I've never seen before." He agrees. "You're one of the only skirts Jim doesn't chase."
"I've got a killer 'fuck off' glare. If a guy checked me out? That was considered to be my fault, so I did what I could to keep it from happening." I roll my eyes. "As if I can control the idiocy of man."
"I'm conflicted about laughing at that. Really? Your fault?" He seems more annoyed than amused.
"I'm not used to anyone thinking I'm so funny." I say wistfully and then I sigh. "So is there anything else you wish to know about Niki Gray?"
"So obviously, Nichole is your middle name, but why did you go by that before? And what made ya prefer Olivia?" He asks and I smile.
"First of all, I've always preferred Olivia. My brother used to call me Ollie. They called me Niki because I'm named after my late maternal grandmother. She was a wonderful woman and so I'm honored to bear her name. Also, Olivia sounds a lot more grown up than Niki. I've been infantilized for so long that I like going by something that I choose."
"Well if it means anything comin' from me, you look like more of an Olivia than you do a Niki." He says and that makes me smile.
"That actually means quite a bit. Since we're friends and all." I say and that gets somewhat of a smile out of him. "Is there some way that we can repress all of those memories? Like keep the stuff regarding my education, but get rid of the rest so that I can just focus on achieving my dreams?"
"Unfortunately, there's no reset button. Sometimes the beds we've had to lay in don't give us up so easily." He says and my amused expression turns neutral. "There, this has been your time with Dr. Sunshine."
"Oh, is that what this was?" I ask, laughing probably a little harder than necessary. "Jesus, I was kidding about the reset and you had to take it someplace real."
