So… yeah. AnaFrost links me to this thing on tumblr saying what an awesome fanfic idea it would be for some shy, introverted person to sell their soul to the devil in exchange for him to be their friend. And how by the time the person died, the devil would be like fuuuuck I actually like this guy! And he would make him his number two in hell.

Inspired by this—ok, who am I kidding? I wasn't just inspired, I couldn't get the idea out of my head for three DAYS—I wrote the end of the fic, a smut scene that will happen waaaay down the line, and then finally, the beginning. Also, there will totally be nods to the Supernatural universe and the Winchesters because I simply CAN'T imagine a story about the devil without it being in their world. Don't worry, they won't be mentioned a ton at least, but I am planning on them making a cameo when Ami's older, just for shits and giggles.

Note that there will be a lot of teenage hijinks well before we skip ahead to later years, but I'm hoping that yall will enjoy the ride as much as I'll enjoy writing it! Behold! My first T (mostly T anyway) fic!

AnaFrost, I blame you.

"Darn it. Do I really need actual blood for this?" Ami sputtered as she read the spell once again. "And of course… it has to be human blood. Well, I'm not raiding the college for an experiment… at least not for an elective class. If it was for Biology or something, fine, I'd risk getting arrested… but not for a religious study."

Mulling over the list of ingredients once more, she finally just went into the kitchen and found a knife, washed it thoroughly, then doused it in rubbing alcohol for good measure. "It won't need much since it's not going to work anyway," she mused as she carried the blade back into her bedroom and locked the door behind her. Not like her mother was home—she never was—but Ami wasn't taking any chances. The last thing she needed is for someone to walk in on the middle of her performing a Satanic ritual.

"Alright… I think I've got everything. Now, for the spell. Ahem… I call upon you, oh Prince of Darkness—" Ami stopped then and started laughing hysterically despite her best efforts to keep a straight face. "Oh God, this is so ridiculous! I had better get an A on this paper! Hehehe… hahaha… ok, ok… get it together, Ami!" After another little giggle fit, she managed to sit up straight and finish the incantation, but she hesitated as she held the knife to the palm of her hand.

"Oh… don't be a sissy," she hissed at herself. "Just do it. One… two…" Squinting her eyes tightly shut, she closed her hand around the edge and jerked it out with the other, only to immediately yelp in pain. "OWWWIE! GOD, THAT HURT! I HAD SO BETTER GET A FRICKING A! OH CRAP I'M BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! GET IT IN THE CUP, GET IT IN THE CUP!"

The aforementioned cup was just a chipped coffee mug in the middle of the makeshift altar, but since the book hadn't specified, Ami had just grabbed the first thing she could find out of the cabinet, and she was now bleeding generously into it. "Why am I doing this for something that's not even going to work anyway!?" She ranted to herself. "And don't say that debunking something requires complete accuracy, Ami!"

"But it does."

"I told you not to say it—" Ami stopped at that, and was filled with the chilling realization that the voice that had answered her was low, rough and very male. And besides… "I don't answer myself," she breathed. So who had…

Her wide eyes found hooves, horns and a tail, and that was quite literally all her brain could process before she shrieked in terror and dove for the door. "OH CRAP I LOCKED IT!" She screamed before tearing towards the closet next and shutting the door behind her. "IT'S A HALLUCINATION! I LOST TOO MUCH BLOOD AND—oh what in the heck am I talking about, I haven't even lost a quarter of a pint and that's not enough for—AND WHY AM I IN THE CLOSET, THAT'S HORROR MOVIE NO-NO ONE-OH-ONE! OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE!"

"You're right, you know. No one ever thinks to just calm down and unlock the door and run for the ground floor. I suppose it's that stupid human flight response," that male voice interjected from the other side of the door. "Like vermin, you run for a dark little corner somewhere as quickly as possible and hope that whatever's stalking you will be dumb enough not to know you're there. Which usually isn't the case."

Shaking like a leaf, Ami didn't respond; she only gripped the knife in her right hand tightly, preparing herself to fight the goat-man thing outside her door—surely that had been a hallucination, right!? The devil wasn't REAL! "Did Cerise put something in my tea at lunch to mess with me?" She whispered aloud. "No… no, that's not possible, I would have started hallucinating hours ago if she'd done something that horrible." Half-expecting the voice outside the closet to answer her, Ami was relieved when it didn't and she waited another full minute before chalking up whatever had just happened as some sort of psychotic episode. "I'll call Mom and have her order a CT scan and an MRI and a full workup, and when I find out I have schizophrenia, I'll know for sure that there's a reasonable explanation behind all of this—"

The closet door flew open then, silencing her, and her blue eyes went wider than humanly possible as she stared up at a red figure that could only be the devil himself.

"BOO!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

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Something poking her forehead brought her around, and Ami couldn't even open her eyes for a moment as she swatted blindly and her hand collided with someone's wrist. "The heck… staaaaahp…"

"Wakie wakie," a male voice chuckled malevolently.

That voice was like a glass of ice water in the face, and Ami snapped awake instantly, so terrified of the giant, red, cloven-hoofed thing in front of her that she couldn't even scream. The only thing that came out of her mouth was, "oh God," squeaked out in a high-pitched, horrified voice.

"Nope!" The creature replied with a huge grin. "Not even close!"

"I think I'm going to faint," she breathed.

"While it was hilarious the first time, I'm kind of on a schedule, woman," the figure replied with a little laugh. "So let's just clear the air. You're not hallucinating, this is real, and you managed to summon the devil by offering your soul in exchange for a wish! So, what did you want to wish for? Make it quick, I'm in a hurry!"

"I…I…I…"

##########################################

Poking woke her again, and this time Ami woke up immediately and screamed her head off at the sight of the devil standing right in front of her, who promptly facepalmed and sighed heavily. "Look, woman, this is getting old fast. Could you please shut the fuck up!?"

"BUT YOU'RE—YOU'RE—OH MY GOD—"

"Wrong again, Blue," he chuckled. "Shit, that never gets old, the first thing everyone says when they summon the devil is 'oh my God' and they're always totally fucking wrong. And stop all that shaking, I swear by the seven hells that if you pass out again I'm going to dump a bucket of toilet water on your head to wake you." Apparently the devil wasn't totally without compassion, though, because when she only continued to shake and stared at him in utter terror, he sighed. "Tell you what, Blue. I'm going to change into something less imposing, ok? Hopefully your fragile little psyche will be able to handle it and we can get down to business."

He waved his hand then and was instantly replaced with the appearance of a bald man that stood seven feet tall, his giant, muscular form clothed in an expensive suit.

Ami just blinked, and for the life of her, she couldn't stop the words from leaving her mouth. "You call that less imposing?" She squeaked. "You're like, seven feet tall and built like a brick shithouse!"

The sight of her face darkening in an immediate blush made the devil laugh, and he promptly sat on the edge of the bed and grinned at her. "Oh no, naughty girl. You swore, you'd better go do a lap around the rosary! Or several, considering that you just sold your soul to the devil," he added with a laugh. "Now, hurry up and tell me what you want."

What she wanted? Blinking stupidly at him once more, Ami just shrugged. "You were just an experiment I was doing for my religious studies course! I didn't think I was actually going to summon the devil! I don't even believe in you!"

"Aw, you wound me, Blue! I believe in you!" He cackled. "And here you are, whether or not I believe!" Before she could answer, the devil rose from the bed and smoothed out his jacket. "And here I am," he said seriously. "Your soul's already on the table, too, so get to wishing. I have other deals to make and a busy schedule." Her blank stare made him sputter and snap his fingers in front of her face. "Seriously, woman! Make with the wish! I haven't got all the time in the world!"

"But… I don't want anything," Ami managed weakly. What she wanted was for this scary, large man to go away and let her go to bed! She'd go to sleep and wake up in the morning and convince herself that this had all just been a crazy dream! But how to make him go away!? He wanted a wish! Maybe she could just dismiss him? "I… um… I guess you can just go? I'm awfully sorry to have wasted your time. I could fix you a cup of tea if you'd like for your trouble? Maybe cook you something?"

"You're fucking shitting me, right?"

"I would, however, ask you to mind your language in my home," Ami added, her tone much braver than she actually felt.

"Is that a wish?"

The hopeful look in his eyes told her he was serious, and thankfully, Ami managed a quick "no."

"I told you, I don't want anything, sir. If this is real—and for the sake of argument I'm going to pretend it is in hopes that you'll finally just go away—I'd much rather keep my soul. So again, I give you my most sincere apologies for wasting your time, and I assure you that I won't be participating in any more experiments like that for my religion course at the college, even if it winds up getting me a B." She finished her little speech with a heavy sigh, but when the huge person taking up a good portion of her room just rolled her eyes and facepalmed once more, she knew she'd given him the wrong answer. "Please leave?" She managed shakily.

"Wish I could, Blue, but I can't until you make a wish. Your soul's already on the table, like I told you. There's no backing out, no reneges, no mulligans. Just make a fucking wish, you get whatever it is you want, and when you die I'll come and collect on the deal. It's as simple as that." The devil felt like breaking something when her eyes filled up with tears, but he didn't want to scare her—scaring people was fun, but damn it, he was on a schedule!—so he stalked over to the door, unlocked it and opened it. "Go make me that stupid fucking cup of tea. You have one hour to think it over."

Hopefully she'd calm the fuck down during that hour and wrap her tiny human brain around the fact that he was real, she'd make her wish, and he could finally be on his way!

It seemed like he'd waited a century before she finally slid off of the bed where he'd placed her the very first time she'd passed out, but the tiny woman eventually got her ass moving and hesitated only a moment at the door before skirting past him quickly and down the stairs. "Wow, if she isn't tiny," he remarked as he followed her into a large kitchen, only to scoop up a towel from the counter and hand it to her. "Might want to wrap that hand up."

"Oh, thank you," she said as she nervously took the towel from his hand, only to sputter at the trail of blood she'd left on the floor. "Oh no, Mom's going to have my head!" She exclaimed, immediately going to the cabinet for some carpet cleaner and a few washcloths.

"Just make the tea, Blue, I've got the carpet," the devil graciously offered, waving a hand to clean up the trail she'd left, adding the bed linens to that as a bonus. "And calm down, it's only your soul."

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't be so condescending," she managed from the sink as she filled the kettle with hot water. "It's not very nice. But I thank you for getting rid of the blood. Would you like something to eat?" She added before he could even reply, concentrating on being a good hostess to keep herself from freaking out. "I don't have a lot since I haven't gone grocery shopping this week, but there's plenty of leftovers." Ami opened the fridge then and gestured at the amount of covered dishes inside, and when he just lifted an eyebrow, she shrugged. "I cook enough for Mom every night just in case she comes home from work, but…" Another shrug finished her sentence, and she pulled a plate from the night before out of the fridge, unwrapped it, and stuck it in the microwave.

"Woman, I thought you were just ridiculously fucking tiny, but… how old are you?" The devil suddenly asked.

"Fifteen. Old enough to look after myself, thank you," she answered defensively. "My mother's a famous doctor and she's usually in surgery if she's not working the Emergency Department, so she doesn't normally get home until late. Unless she's working a triple," she amended, not wanting to lie. "Then she'll sleep over on a cot at the physician's lounge."

"You want to wish for her to be home more often?" He offered. "That would make you happy, wouldn't it?"

"Yes, but… Mom loves her job," Ami sighed as she turned to the beeping microwave and removed the steaming beef tenderloin and vegetables she'd made the night before. "I wouldn't want to make her unhappy in the process." She went to the table then and set the plate down in front of him. "Please eat. I know it's only leftovers, but I tried really hard to cook it right."

Sensing that it would rude to refuse and hoping that accepting the food would speed things up, the devil took a bite and actually nodded in genuine approval. "It's good; bet it was delicious last night."

He was rewarded with a blush and a pleased little smile before she went to the whistling kettle and she set out mugs with teabags in them and filled them with steaming water. "You know… even though you're a hallucination brought on by something someone must have slipped me at school, it's nice to have someone to talk to," she acknowledged as she set his tea in front of him.

"You want to be popular, then?"

"No," Ami answered immediately. "God no, I can't stand any of the people at my high school. The fact that they're not all that very smart is something I can overlook, but… they're mean to me," she admitted, blushing yet again. "Just because I ruined the curve when Mom moved us here from Japan when I was little. I can't help it that I already knew calculus when we got here."

"How old were you?" He asked conversationally, noting that the longer she talked, the more she relaxed.

"Six." The way his eyebrows lifted made her turn redder and she looked at the floor. "Mom taught me in her spare time, back before I was old enough to look after myself. I'm good at math."

"But not in Religion," he snickered, unable to help himself, grinning when she looked mortified. "Oh, come on, Blue! At least learn to laugh at yourself."

"Even if this is a stupid hallucination, as long as I'm stuck in it, I'll claim to be pretty good at Religion!" She countered, her voice only shaking slightly when he frowned down at her. "After all, I translated all of that Latin by myself, and apparently I got it right! And suspending disbelief since I'm dreaming this anyway—the spell actually worked! So I'd call myself pretty darn good at Religion, thank you very much!"

"Ooo… you're almost adorable when you show a little spine, Blue. And you might want to work on that overachiever complex as you grow up. We can't all be the best at everything. Maybe you'd be more popular in school if you didn't have to one-up everyone."

"It—it's not like that!" She protested. "I even got B's on purpose in third grade just to see if it would make them all stop hating me, but—but—" Big, fat tears started rolling down her cheeks then, and Ami quickly looked away again, grabbing a clean dishtowel from a drawer to wipe her face. "They wouldn't stop making fun of me," she finished with a sob. "And Mom kept grounding me for making B's, so I gave up on trying to make them like me. They're all stupid and horrible anyway," she added bitterly. "And the few of them that are nice to me never want to really be my friends; they just want to copy my notes."

"Wish for a new start then," the devil suggested as he continued to eat. Damn it, if the beef wasn't pretty good!

"I don't want a new start, I just want a—" Ami stopped then and turned to stare at him, realization dawning in her blue eyes.

"And I think we've got it!" he cheered as he wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood. "I smell an epiphany. Lay it on me, woman, I'll make with the wish granting, and I can be on my way!"

"Would you be my friend?" She asked quickly before she could lose her nerve or think of something else to wish for. His flabbergasted expression told her that her wish was definitely not what he was expecting, and she managed a little shrug. "Well, you don't already know me so you can't prejudge me, you can pop in and out whenever you want, and I figure that the devil ought to be good for an intelligent conversation most of the time. You've probably seen and done more than I could ever hope to."

"I need to sit back down," he rumbled, promptly doing just that. A few seconds of silence passed before he could finally open his mouth again, and when he did, he could only sound incredulous. "You want me to be your friend? The devil. That's your wish!?"

"The idea's sounding better and better the more I think about it," Ami replied evenly. "Besides, this is a dream anyway, so it's not real. Might as well make it interesting. So yes, I wish for you to be my best friend."

"You've got to be shitting me," he whispered in shock. "Blue, I've granted wishes for money, fame, sex, good health, and even one for a man to have a two foot penis. That last one was the most pathetic thing I've ever heard of… until now. This… this is easily the saddest fucking wish I've ever granted."

"Sorry," she whispered dejectedly. "You don't have to if you don't want to, Mr. Devil. I wouldn't force you to be my friend, it was just a stupid wish." Briefly gesturing at the plate, she turned back towards the living room and the stairwell. "I'll clean up if you just want to leave it."

Ami was unsurprised not to hear anyone follow her up the stairs, and when she flopped onto her bed, all alone, she couldn't help but cry herself to sleep, not knowing that someone awkwardly watched her bawl for several minutes before vanishing from her bedroom doorway.

########################################

"God… what a horrible dream," Ami muttered at dawn as she rolled out of bed and started to clean up the mess she'd left after her little experiment. "How pathetic am I, really? I want a friend so badly that I actually dreamed that the devil came and I wished for him to be my friend. God, if that actually happened, he'd probably think I was the most pathetic creature on the planet."

Her mess taken care of, she made a mental note to burn that stupid book—she didn't care how old it was!—and her notes along with it; she could write her paper from memory and still receive a B for her efforts, and she'd take the B gratefully, too! "And I knew I hadn't cleaned that knife well enough," she remarked as she performed her morning ritual in the bathroom along with cleaning the deep cut in the palm of her left hand. It was red and a little swollen, but a bit of antibiotic ointment would fix that right up.

Funny, there was no trail of blood to the kitchen, and the towel that had been in her hand upon waking was from the kitchen, so surely… "He took care of it," she whispered, a shiver of fear going down her spine. "No no no, I must have wrapped it in something else on my way down and—but why can't I remember it?" And the memory of the devil was crystal clear in her mind, too—it wasn't fading like it had been a dream, like a dream would have normally faded after ten minutes or more.

Fluffing her hair as she tried to just convince herself that she had experienced some sort of mental blackout the night before and that she was forgetting patches of what had happened, Ami made her way downstairs only to freeze in the kitchen doorway. "I know I didn't eat last night," she insisted softly, staring wide-eyed at the plate of half-eaten leftovers on the kitchen table and the discarded napkin… a napkin that wasn't marred with pink lip gloss, as all of hers always were. "It's not real, it's not real, it's not real," she chanted, daring to step over the threshold, hesitating only a moment before taking the plate and taking care of remainder of the food in the waste bin, then all but chucking the plate and fork into the sink.

"I'm not losing my mind, am I?" She babbled out before looking at the phone. "I'm not going in," she decided. "I don't have college today anyway, and I have straight A's at the high school and no absences, so they won't say anything… oh crap, but I have that test today! But I won't be able to concentrate no matter what I do and I'll wind up getting a B anyway, so I may as well lay out and pray that they'll let me take a retest. Better to lie about being sick than to bring home a B," she finished with a sigh.

"You talk to yourself an awful lot, Blue."

Ami could only tremble in place at the sound of that low, male voice coming from the doorway, and her hand gripped the lip of the sink tightly as she squeezed her eyes shut, silently willing it all to not be real. "A nervous breakdown would be preferable to this being real," she panted. "Please, please, please God don't let this be real!"

"Please don't start crying again or pass out," the devil grumbled in reply. "It was funny enough last night when you fainted… twice. But if you do it in here you're going to crack your head on the tile and then I'll wind up having to drive you to the Emergency Department. And since your mother's still pulling her shift there, you'll have a fun time explaining why a man that looks old enough to be your father was in your house in the first place and how you managed to sustain a concussion in his presence."

"And she'll wonder why I wasn't already walking to school," Ami added.

"I think your mother would be far more concerned about the strange man in the house and the brain injury, Blue."

"You clearly don't know my mother very well," she countered, slowly turning in place to lay eyes on the same extremely tall, burly man from last night. "The possibility of dating an older man or me getting injured would have her worried. My missing school would send her into a nuclear meltdown."

"Not a very good mother if you ask me," he pointed out dryly as he removed his suit jacket and loosened his tie a bit, his lips twitching up in a smirk at the sight of the little blue-haired teenager silently fuming, her eyes glittering at him with fury.

"MY MOTHER IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

"You're cute when you're pissed, Blue. Come sit and eat and we'll have a chat about how to handle your wish."

"You take it back," she insisted hotly, her arms folding over her chest and her fists clenching tightly. "You are not going to step into my home and then disrespect a woman that has raised me alone for fifteen years!"

"Fine, fine," he drawled out smoothly, waving her towards the chair beside him. "I apologize. I only did it to distract you from thinking that you were crazy anyway. Worked like a charm."

Blushing brightly at the realization that she'd actually yelled at someone, Ami shyly looked to the floor. "Oh. I… I would ask you to refrain from speaking about my mother, anyway."

"Not a problem, Blue. Now come sit down so we can get acquainted and tell me what you wanna eat for breakfast."

Unable to politely refuse his request, she hesitantly edged her way to the table, and when he gestured patiently towards the chair she sat down slowly, never once taking her eyes off of him, ready to bolt at a moment's notice.

"Never got your name last night," he continued nonchalantly as he relaxed and leaned back in his chair.

"A—Ami," she replied in a nervous whisper. "Mizuno."

"And I'm Nappa. Pleased to meet you, Ami." The devil was surprised when she actually accepted his hand to shake, but he let out a chuckle when she only briefly stuck hers in his, shook it once, then immediately jerked her hand away. "So, what do you want for breakfast? Go ahead and name it and I'll take care of it."

"No, that's alright, you don't have to cook, Nap—wait… wouldn't your name be Lucifer?" She asked in confusion, fluffing her hair in thought.

"That was the devil two devils before me. I'll tell you the story over breakfast if you'd like. And you fed me last night, Blue; I'll return the favor. So just tell me what you want?" He asked hopefully, clearly wanting to get the ball rolling. "Come on, I'm not a very patient man most of the time, and your shyness, while cute, is getting old quickly."

"Sorry, um—eggs and toast? Would that be too much trouble?" She asked meekly. No sooner had she said it, the food was in front of her, and she nearly fell out of her chair in shock. A large hand immediately steadied her though, and a dark eye tipped her a wink. "Um, thank you," she managed.

"You sure that's all you want, Ami? I'm having eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, pancakes, biscuits and gravy and coffee." Nappa's food also appeared once he'd stated what he was having, and he grinned when she just stared at the spread open-mouthed. "You know, I'd forgotten what it was like to have someone totally speechless over something that I take for granted every morning. It's refreshing. Anything to drink?" He added conversationally as he tucked a napkin that had magically appeared into his shirt collar.

"You… wow. This is real?" Ami breathed in awe. "Like, really real? I'm not actually losing my mind?"

"Nah, it's real." A bite of egg sopped into his hashbrowns went in his mouth then and he groaned in approval. "You sure you don't want more, Blue? This shit is delicious."

Looking at her food as an experiment, Ami licked her lips in anticipation. "French toast," she said quickly, half-expecting it not to appear. But sure enough, it was there, and she beamed before adding, "hash browns. Ooo, with cheese on them. I love them like that, but mom already gets onto me for not being a vegetarian and—oh my God I can have bacon," she realized aloud, her mouth hanging open.

"Yes, you can," Nappa confirmed just as another plate appeared beside the others.

"Bacon," she whispered in awe, her fingers slowly grasping a piece to lift it to her mouth. But she stopped and just stared at it for several seconds, only to blush when she felt the devil jokingly elbow her in the arm.

"It's real, Ami. Eat it," he snickered around another bite of his meal.

"Oh my God it is," she moaned the moment she took a bite. "I think I'm gonna cry! Real bacon! Not that tofu junk that Mom makes me buy! Real, honest-to-pig bacon!"

"Damn, woman, if you think that's something, just wait until you see me do some real magic!" He barked out in a hearty laugh. "I can smite the living and dead alike with a snap of my fingers, I can heal wounds and I can make the poor rich and the rich poor… but bacon is what fucking does it for her!"

"Sorry, it's just so good!" She replied with a bright blush, but her hand was instantly at her mouth again and she was making a very satisfied noise as she munched on the rest of the slice.

"You ever tried it in egg yolk? Or better yet, dip it in the maple syrup, it's delicious," Nappa informed her. "Go on, try it."

Ami tried the egg yolk first and nodded immediately. "Wow, that is good. A heart attack waiting to happen, but good." She melted in her seat when she tried it in the maple syrup, though; the flavor explosion that hit her taste buds was so overwhelming that she had to grip the table. "Oh my God, where have you been all my life? Bacon and maple syrup… mmmm… I'd ask for another plate of bacon if it wasn't rude—Oh! Thank you!"

"Not a problem," he chuckled, waving at the fresh plate. "Shit, you didn't even have to sell me your soul, Ami, you would have gone to Hell on gluttony alone."

That comment made her freeze in place, and she quickly returned the third piece of bacon in her hand to the extra plate, her eyes fixed on her lap in embarrassment as she hurriedly tried to chew and swallow the second.

Oh shit, was she actually going to cry? Groaning at the absurdity of it all, Nappa patted her shoulder, the motion more than a little awkward. "Ami, seriously? You really need to learn when I'm joking. And fast. Otherwise this is going to be eighty fucking years of you bawling your eyes out. Grow a thicker skin!"

"Oh," she stated softly in surprise. "You… you were joking? But not a mean joke," she amended when Nappa sighed in relief and nodded, only to make him nod again emphatically.

Cue another awkward pat on the shoulder. "If I'm being mean you'll know it for sure," he promised her, "because when I get mean I usually get really fucking scary."

"Language," Ami sputtered.

"English," Nappa mocked with a straight face, only to crack a smirk when she glared at him, one of her blue eyebrows raised in his direction.

"Don't get smart with me, and don't make me break out a swear jar, either. I don't like filthy language, Mr. Devil, not when a person with half a brain can come up with a better word to use in its stead."

"Yes, Mom."

"If I was your mother I would have already washed your mouth out with soap… though I'd likely would have died in childbirth," she added with a touch of the scientific curiosity that was usually the only thing to ever bring her out of her shell. "How much did you weigh at birth, anyway? Twenty pounds?"

"Twenty-seven, by Earth standards," Nappa replied, pleased to make her eyes go wide again, only to watch them narrow again in interest; hell, he could practically see her brain whirring a million miles an hour inside of her skull. It was amazing, really, to see how fast she could be distracted by her shyness whenever her mind was squirreled away on some sort of analytical question.

Then came the question he knew would pique her interest and keep her from slipping back into her quiet shell. "Earth standards? Are you implying that you're not from this planet?"

"Not this dimension, either, actually. In laymen's terms, Hell transverses all of the dimensions, as does Heaven. All the bad people go to Hell, just usually different areas of it depending on where they died. But if you have the mind to travel a little bit, you can get into another dimension's section of the pit. It's not that difficult; a few of us came over from my Hell after Lucifer was caged by an angel and a couple of demon hunters. Then this guy named Crowley took over, but then he got ganked and shit went to… well, Hell. So Raditz, Turles and myself put our heads together, staged a hostile takeover when the timing was right, and now I'm the new devil. That's it in a nutshell," he finished with a shrug. "You going to eat, Blue? Or are you just going to stare?" He teased, only to sigh when she blushed and looked at her lap. "Joking, Ami. I'm joking. Fucking hell, this is going to be a long eighty years."

Trying his best to get the ball rolling, Nappa pushed her bacon towards her. "Seriously, eat. I have no clue what we're going to be doing today, but it won't be sitting around here and you'll need your energy. And while we're on the subject, what do you like to do for fun?"

"I like to study," Ami answer promptly. "And read."

"Wow, a real fucking wildchild, aren't you, Blue? Dear gods, whyyyyy didn't I let Turles come up instead when he offered? 'No, Turley, I got this,' I said. 'Easy in and out deal, it's just some teenage chick in her bedroom.' But noooo, I had to get fucking cocky, didn't I?"

"You don't have to stay," Ami whispered. "I mean… you don't have to be my friend. I wouldn't want to be an inconvenience since you're probably still kind of new to being the devil and all and you have far better things to do than spend time with me."

"Geez, little girl, you have absolutely no self-esteem, do you?" Nappa groaned. "Other than at comments about your mother, do you ever get mad?"

"Getting mad never solves much," she sighed. "And I meant it. I wished for a friend, and friendship goes both ways, Nappa. If you don't want to hang around, then I don't want you to. I wouldn't want my only friend to be unhappy with me. Thank you for breakfast, the bacon really was wonderful," she added with a forced smile as she got up from her chair and headed up the stairs.

Oh, I forgot to tell yall that I am now screening Guest reviews. I won't name names or go into detail because while I AM pissed off at someone and know who they are, I'm not a vindictive bitch. One asshole just had to ruin it for everyone and throw me off my game for over a week, but I'm slowly getting over being utterly fucking terrified by said asshole for a whole day. End/rant, I promise, sorry! No drama, no drama. R&R, I'm still going strong on the next chapter, yall!