Two is a Crowd Chapter 8: Thomas looks like who?

POV: Snake Eyes

"Come in! Thomas, Scarlett's here," I called, opening the door.

"Hey," she said as they exchanged side hugs, "I brought the pizza." She added in a low whisper "And two pieces for Thomas."

I grinned. "I thought you'd say that. You're too much of a mother to let your children starve."

She shook her head. "You, Snake Eyes, are the silliest ninja I've never met."

I tsk'd my tongue at her. "Plus one of the only ninja's you've ever met," I added.

"So?" she asked. She set the box on the counter.

"Thomas!" I waited for an answer. It came in the form of a crash, a bang, and an "I'm all right!" from Thomas.

"I see one of your children is getting in trouble again," I remarked, taking a bite of pepperoni pizza.

"Pity. Hope he doesn't hurt himself."

"Ah, a mother's tenderness," I said, thoroughly enjoying my pizza.

She looked towards me and raised an eyebrow. "Good?" she asked.

"Goooooood," I said enthusiastically. She grinned, then called "Thomas! Aren't you going to say hello to me?"

"No," he called.

"Why not?" I yelled.

"She's mean!"

"Am not," Scarlett shouted in her own defense.

"Yeah," I echoed, taking another bite.

"Tell the Pizza Lady to go away," Thomas called.

"Pizza Lady? What pizza lady? I don't see a pizza lady here," I said, pulling a piece of pepperoni off my pizza and popping it in my mouth.

"And tell her to take her torturously delicious-smelling pizza OUT OF HERE!"

"Hey, get in here, you idiot!" Scarlett yelled, "or I'll take the pizza I brought for you and never return!"

"How unmotherly of you," he remarked, walking into the hall.

Scarlett looked sharply at me. "Did you tell him to say that?"

I looked incredulously at her and made a noise somewhat akin to an incredulous, high-pitched "Huh?" "You've seen me the entire time," I reminded her, "and I haven't gone into Thomas's room."

"Oh, speaking of you," said Scarlett, turning to look at Thomas, "I was looking through a magazine I bought and there was a guy who looked just like you!"

Thomas stopped in mid-bite – eating one of MY pieces of pizza, if you'll notice – and said "Mmrf?"

"Yeah." Scarlett pulled the glossy magazine out from underneath the hot pizza box. The cover was covered in moisture from the heat, but she wiped it off on her jeans, then opened it and flipped through the pages until she found the right one. "Here," she said, handing it to Thomas.

He took it, chewing rapidly, then burst out "I do NOT!"

Scarlett doubled over in laughter. "You do, too!"

"Let me see," I said, leaning over the counter to catch a glimpse of this Thomas-look-alike. "What's his name?" I asked.

"Byung-hun Lee," said Scarlett, straightening, her eyes twinkling like Japanese lanterns.

"He DOES look like you, Thomas! Wow!" I exclaimed, staring at the two-page spread.

"He does NOT!" Thomas insisted, looking in astonishment at the page.

"Does too," Scarlett and I both said.

"He's… he's too… he's…"

"Your twin?" I offered.

He shot me a glare. "No!"

"Then what?" Scarlett asked, flipping her red hair over her shoulder and looking expectantly at Thomas.

"I don't know, he just is!"

"Well, that's pitiful," said Scarlett, deftly plucking the magazine from Thomas and tucking it under her arm, "because he looks exactly like you."

"The only thing is perhaps he should be a few years younger," I said. "Other than that – spittin' image."

Thomas snatched three pieces of pizza – besides the one he'd already eaten (which would make them MY pieces) – and stalked down the hall to his room.

"Goodbye, dear," Scarlett called to him as I saw her to the door, "be good now!"

"I won't," he called back.

"I knew you'd say that. So I'll send Tunnel Rat by every day until he brings me back good reports."

"NO!" Thomas barreled around the corner, a look of panic on his face. "Don't do that!"

"Why not?" asked Scarlett, poised, hand on the doorknob.

"Because – he'll wreck the place! Eat our food!"

"Don't worry, he's housetrained," said Scarlett dryly.

"Barely," Thomas muttered.

Scarlett glared at him. "You're rude."

Thomas sighed heavily and trudged to his room, his essence of pep gone.

"Bye, Shana," I said, calling her by her real name as she walked out the door.

"Bye, Ian – and you be good, too!"

"I will, mommy!"

She grinned and walked down the stairs. Great. Now I had to go through a night of Thomas scheming on how to get rid of Tunnel Rat.