Self - Insert Fanfic - ' I Accidentally Pangya! '

Written by General_Starr

Disclaimer: I do not own or have any connection to Ntreev, Tecmo or any companies related to Pangya / Albatross18. This story is not considered canon nor is it derived from any other fanfics, novels, or dojins, if any exist.

Chapter 0 - Prologue - A Slice of Boring Life

0 month, X day, 10:45 P.M Local time - Main Headquarters / house, Command Central Room

A silent hum and the steady sounds of someone working on a computer filled the air as the sole person in the room drummed on the keyboard, typing away amessage to another player in the game on his screen. Some comment on how he could have done it correctly, noting that he really should'nt mirror his risky play shots with such a lower club range. The numbers on the score sheet screamed rape, but the General was'nt about to allow ego to take over and let himself go all uber-1337 gamer or lifeless /b/tard on the other player.

After all, Pangya was not some game about dealing damage or utter defeat to other players, and rubbing it in other people's faces - rather, it was some hidden game of numbers and skill as well as some luck - maybe more than others; as well as a sort of casual social game - only occasionally ruined by either some bug, non-English speaking players who spammed incorrigible gibberish, or some damn hacker who would ruin the game at the expense of their region just to win virtual items - totally missing the point of playing a game.

Never mind the foreigners and their languages - that he could tolerate if they did it in some lounge instead of lobby, but curse hackers - or, more likely, script kiddies - without their hacks, they were completely pathetic noobs incapable of playing decently. And with GameGuard being overridden by hackers who made a new hack for every version or patch of it, 'FAILGuard' failed even more miserably as a useless anti-hack rootkit.

'15th hole, 9m headwind at 30 degrees. Oh grief', he thought to himself as his turn came up. The other player, a Junior rank which probably got tips from the worst noobs on the server, was so far behind that even if he miraculously hit hole-in-ones in all the remaining holes, he would still not make a two digit negative score. One of the things he was thankful to him for was that he did not quit; the 4 player 18 hole game had reduced in number on the first hole alone, merely because the 2 players did not make it to the tunnel properly.

"Initializing firing sequence." he silently muttered as he finished wind adjustment aiming and altitude, wind and range power adjustment calculations in his head. The shot data he acquired - what other people called 'numbers' was indeed helping a lot, and was much better than cheating with those calculators that failed anyway to calculate anything properly.
He took a little pride in shooting; for some unknown reason, he had a fancy for nuclear weaponry or any other form of mass destruction - and this made explosive shots like Tomahawk and Spike his bread and butter, although normal backspin shots began to become part of his game tactics; albeit more complicated, they were more rewarding and didnt require the use of a Type 1 (Power Potion) or 2 (Power Milk or Power Gage) warhead.

He struck the spacebar once, waiting for the slider to make maximum; marking that, prepared for QuickInput of arrow keystrokes to allow for sufficient prep time to hit the pangya section of the bar. Speed balancing was key, even at 21 control, which had remained there since he first started playing with that stat value. He prided himself as well for having such a long range for his Amateur player ranking. Where others would remain control freaks forever waiting for SW/PW shots to hit the pangya section and still missing it, he remained constant with 21 so much that it had become nearly instinct for him to hit pangya, without the godforsaken time delay.

It didnt even take a milisecond to input the key sequence; a good 3 ms before hitting pangya was decent enough for him. With a sharp, precisely timed tap, heralding from the days he was proficient with GunBound's Slice Shot mode, the satisfying ring of hitting it filled the earbuds he wore, and quickly enough he hovered his hand over the F9 key, ready to record whether it went in or not.

A perfectly executed Toma BS shot, considering a one-time shotbar activation and the damn wind being so strong. Elfen Ears helped, but he was considering taking them off since he was losing the 'pangya timing' too much. Back when he didnt have them, the only thing he prided himself with was hitting pangya at the most critical times, and never missing putts at all except for the extremely impossible ones on Deep Crap and Wind Hell. Admittedly enough though, they were quite an advantage, even more so than it's Feather equivalent.

He watched as it whizzed through the air, hit the beam and slamblasted into the green before spinning into the hole. He recorded the replay, noting beam hit height; apparently he overpowered it by 1 or 2%, saved by the beam's downward current. Looks like the shot database needed a notes section for head and tail winds.

The General even recorded the performance animation his fave character, Arin, did; then he switched Fraps off and went on playing, giving tips to the savagely beaten Junior while acquiring more shot data. Part of his Pangya gameplay improvement program was the database for holes and corresponding data - which took over a year by now but was still not full of accurate data. But it was better than nothing or a buggy, defective or unusable calculator, and still involved his skill and mathematic abilities. Although it seemed that he treated playing Pangya as serious business, he still acknowledged that it was, after all was said and done, just a game; there was nothing so bad about being really good with it - except when it ate too much time.

With the game finished, he told the other player to practice in family mode and exited the game. Looking at the watch, it seemed he managed to spend a lot of spare time - maybe more than intended; though it was worth it. Arin was really quite the character, not just because of her 3-dimensional physique which stragely, lacked 'dat ass' but had the kind of bosom that would keep a baby well-fed; in his opinion, Pangya was some sort of lame excuse for the Koreans to try their luck on making 3D eroge / H-games; it was rather because of stats - she had the highest range of all his characters and a versatility option - changing equips and caddies allowing him to maintain the strict control requirement he relied on so well. Although investing money on his account wasnt exactly a good idea in his opinion, he planned to establish cookie / point independence with her current stats. Yes, no more spending real money on a really kickass account unless for rares or if it was really needed.

As he saved the database and shut down his system, he remembered what he had done so far and the other chores that had to be done tomorrow. "Man...work schedules nowadays.." he silently complained before he climbed into bed, thinking about all the things he needed to do tomorrow. At 22 years, he was still quite the inner child with an adult shell, but well, he didnt really have that much of a childhood to speak of. Maybe that was why he clung to fantasy and alternate realities a lot - they were less boring than the real world where it got relatively monotonous and negative, as made obvious by the news and the media; and where his folks watched too much damn soap (more like tear and heartwrencher) opera TV shows. Seriously, he considered them full of fail; he wanted more ownage, more awesome, something that gave the concept that the world had something or someone extraordinary left in it.

As if there were anything of the sort left. As if the events in fiction ever happened. As if the scenes he encountered in good movies, novels, TV shows, anime and manga, particularly H-manga, ever happend in reality.

But as usual, the real world was, of course, quite the boring dissapointment. Even /b/ made him dissapoint. He didnt regard /b/ as some place where you can become king or queen and show off or some crazy prank place; rather, he looked at it as 'entertainment' and a select crowd's outlet of their dark, bored and perverted selves where they could try to get attention and feel as if they were someone, even for a brief while until their thread was given the 404. But it just wasnt entertaining enough anymore; so much for the septic tank of the Internet.

He pondered upon this before he went to sleep, and wondered if anything extraordinary would ever happen. Even meeting someone who had the character trtaits of Belldandy would probably be the best thing ever. Not that he intended to marry whoever that would be, but just a desire for personal proof that this world was stil worth living in. Although he wasnt really suicidal or anything crazy like that; he just wanted to believe in a world that was not totally boring and everyday-goes-on-the-same-way routine kind of reality.

'...No wonder Haruhi Suzumiya is who or what she is as some character. I relate to what she feels about this world; boring everyday life sucks quite a lot.' he thought before sleep overcame his mind, ebbing off into the dreamless night.

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system: For a first chapter of a story in development written by a first time fanfic writer, it sure seems a little crappy, but this is like giving a general idea of what it is like before something happens - like a prologue of sorts. Also, grammar mistakes and typos were intended and are there for a reason.

Feel free to flame or comment on how it can be written better.

- 'The General'