I don't own SPN

I WISH YOU ALL A MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas is right around the corner. In the cities they visited the decorations for Christmas were already in place. But it didn't matter to them, because the Winchesters normally don't do Christmas. So Sam thought that this year wasn't any different than the years before. At least that was what he hoped. Because he didn't like Christmas, he only has bad memories in relation to this holiday. But the universe works in mysterious ways.

One week before Christmas Castiel visited the Winchesters in the bunker. He needed a favor from them, but he wasn't quite sure they would help him. He may be an angel, but he is different than the other angels, so to be nervous was kind of normal to him. As he walked into the library of the bunker, the brothers discuss like always in the last time the darkness.

"Any ideas where we could find Amara?" Sam asks Dean.

"No I am as clueless as you." was Deans answer. Castiel was certain that Dean was hiding something from them, but he couldn't put his finger on it. Sam has the same conclusion as he asks. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah." Dean said and didn't look at Sam.

Sam wasn't quite convinced, but he didn't press the matter. He knows Dean would tell him as soon as he was ready. He hears footsteps behind him and turns around.

"Hey Cas."

"Hey Sam, Dean."

"Cas. What's up?" Dean asks his friend.

"I want to ask you for a favor" Sam believes that this is something between them and wants to leave, but Cas stops him. "Both of you."

With that he has the attention from both of them. They were curious how they could help their feathery friend this time. But what Cas said next, neither of them expected. "Can we do Christmas together this year?" Cas asks serious like always.

A moment of silence followed, before Dean simply asks. "What?" He wasn't quite sure why he would ask that.

"You know Christmas, the birth of Jesus." Cas says without any hint of sarcasm.

"But didn't you say that it wasn't the day of his birth?" Sam asks as counter question.

"Correct, but that's not the point."

"Then what is the point, please enlighten us, because I get the feeling we are missing something here." Dean says sarcastically.

"Claire." Cas simply say as if that was the answer to everything.

"Claire what?" Sam asks. He also feels like something is missing here.

"I want to spend time with Claire at Christmas."

"Why?" Deans and Sam ask unison. They look quickly at each other before looking back at Castiel.

"Because for humans Christmas time means family time and I am in some sort of way the only family Claire has left. So I want to spend it with her."

"Ok, fine, but what has that to do with us?" Sam asks but he had a feeling, in which direction the answer will be going.

"I have never done Christmas, so I need help and the bunker is big enough for all of us."

"All of us. Who is all of us?"

"I believe Jody will be spending Christmas with Claire as well. So she will came with her and that means that the other girls are coming to."

Christmas, three teenage girls and me - sounds like a bad joke, Sam thoughts. Not a change that he will be a part of this. He also believes that Dean wouldn't either. But as always Dean surprises him.

"I get it. I don't have a problem with that." Dean says with a smile. Why is he smiling, he is normally also not a big Christmas fan.

"Thank you Dean." Cas ask with a smile and then asks Sam. "Sam can I count you in, as well?"

Sam thought a moment about that and decided that he doesn't has a problem if the others would celebrate Christmas here. But he definitely would be a part of it.

"You can Christmas celebrate here, but I don't want to be a part of It." before he could say more Dean interrupts him.

"Cas don't take it personally, but Sam is the Grinch."

"Ha ha very funny jerk."

"Bitch." Dean says with a smile.

"Whatever. But I don't like Christmas. So knock yourself out." with that Sam stood up and walks to his room. This will be long holidays for him. Ignoring Christmas is easy when no one in your home celebrates it, but what would be live without a challenge.

As he walks away he could her Cas. "Ok, now I only have to convince Claire about that. Any prepositions, how I should do that Dean."

"Of course."


It wasn't an easy task to convince Claire for this particular Christmas celebration. But with the help of Jody and surprisingly Dean it worked. Dean and Claires friendship wasn't easy, because of Randy, but Dean apologized and talked to her about his life as well as the mark. So she started to understand his actions. They even find some common ground. Especially if she thinks about what Randy wanted her to do, so she figured he got what he deserved.

But for Sam does that mean that everybody was in the spirit for Christmas. In the week before Christmas Eve, Dean and Cas bought a tree, decorations and even some groceries for the dinner. Dean would cook the turkey. Even if he says he doesn't like to cook, Sam believes he does, because it calms him down.

With the preparations for the party, if you want to call it, Sam's mood got form grey to black to dark black. He was grumpy and pissed because of this holiday happiness. But most important he doesn't understand why Dean would freely be part of this as well.

The last time they did Christmas was in the year of Deans Deal. They only did it because they believed it would be Deans last year on earth, obviously a mistake. But even if it was quite a happy evening back then, the implication for the celebration put a dark shadow on the memory.

The outburst came a few days before Christmas as Sam was reading a book in the library. He had enough of the Christmas crazy as Dean put Christmas music on. In Dean's case that means classic Rock. With that he wanted to bring Cas in touch with the popular Christmas songs. But what's enough is enough, so Sam explodes.

"Seriously, Dean. Christmas songs. Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"

"God, what twisted your panties?" Dean spits back.

"The whole Christmas thing. You like Christmas as much as I do. So what the hell?"

"Not correct. You hate Christmas. I can live with it."

"Yeah, yeah." Sam closes his book and walks out of the library. Hate was a strong word. He accepted a while back that Christmas is for normal families, who are not hunters. They don't do normal, because every time they tried something bad happened. Normal is simply not in the cards for them and that includes in his opinion Christmas as well.


Finally Christmas was here. That's a good sign for Sam, because that would mean that the insanity would stop soon. Jody and the girls arrived in the morning of Christmas eve and would be staying for two days. As the arrived at the bunker Sam greeted them all and then went straight to his room to celebrate his non-Christmas.

He researched for a case like it was every other day, to him it was. Then he read a book, after that he started with the next season of Game of Thrones. A day like every other day for Sam like always in the past years. The only difference was he went to bed early, because he believed that the sooner he got to sleep, the sooner this all would be over.

So at 8 pm he killed the light in his room and went to bed. After some moments he fell into a restless sleep or so he thought.

A kick on his bed in combination with a "Get up son." from a gruff voice, woke him up. He slowly opened his eyes. It was still dark in his room. He looked for the owner of the voice, who sounded suspiciously like his father. He couldn't find anyone in the room so he concludes that all was part of his imagination.

As soon as he closed his eyes again, another kick on the bed followed. "I said get up son." The voice got angry like his Dad during his childhood. Simply out of reflex he got up. Old habits die hard and his Dad often let him run extra laps in the morning for not getting up as soon he was woken. So he looked around and again he didn't see anything or anyone. But before he could put his head on the pillow again someone turned the light back on.

Sam was shocked, because this has to be a dream, because this someone was his Dad. He blinked like he hoped when he opened his eyes again he would be gone. But that was wishful thinking. Before he could process what's happening his Dad yanked him on his feed.

"Come on Sam we don't have all night."

"Stop your dead, Dad." Sam said after he found his voice again.

"I know, thanks for pointing out the obvious. The whole thing is bad enough without your smart ass comments." John says.

"What is happening Dad?" Sam asks curious.

"I was sent to you because of Christmas" he mumbled his answer.

"Like in the Charles Dickens story or what?"

"Kinda."

"So you're a ghost?"

John simply nods. That was it now Sam was laughing. The situation was bizarre, crazy and impossible even for a hunter. After Sam calmed done, John simply asks. "Are you done now?" Sam didn't answer. "Come on lets go. We don't have time and the others are coming soon."

"Others? Oh my god. We are really in A Christmas Carol and you are the ghost for past Christmas." John nods. "Funny the great hunter John Winchester is now a ghost. Ironic!" For that he received a head-slap from his Dad. Okay he wasn't a normal ghost, because such an action and yanking him out of bed, needs some serious mojo. But he couldn't think about it. John placed his hand on Sam's shoulder and they were gone.


"Here we are." John announced.

Sam looks around and saw himself and his brother in their childhood. It was Christmas of course. Sam remembered that Christmas as if it were yesterday. How could he forget, it was the Christmas that he learned about hunting.

"Why am I here?" Sam asks his father.

"Because you have to learn a lesson!"

"Which is that Christmas always ends bad for me." Sam answers angry.

"No Sam. Remember. I know I wasn't father of the year material, but Dean tried to make a perfect Christmas for you."

"Yeah he stole presents for girls and gave them to me."

"Do you know the saying - it is the thought that counts." John explains.

"Yeah, but it doesn't make it better."

"But look, even you got those presents form him you were happy, because he told you the truth. He always was there for you and look at what you did as an answer to that." John points at the scene in front of them.

Sam looks at it and saw how a young Sam gave a young Dean the present, which original was for his Dad. In it was the amulet Dean wore for several years. It was a symbol for their brotherly love.

Tears start in Sam's eyes. He remembers why he gave that to Dean, because Dean was more of a father to him than John ever was. Dean may have thrown the amulet away some years ago, but they are still brothers and would still do everything for each other. Dean's stealing and attempt for a good Christmas was because he wanted that Sam could be a child a little longer.


With a blink John and him where now standing in a different motel room. This wasn't that far in the past. It was the Christmas in the year of Dean's deal.

"Dad, I get the good thing in the last memory or whatever that was, but what is it here?"

"That's for you to learn. I can only guide you."

"Than my Jedi master guide me." Sam said with sarcasm which earned him another head-slap.

"You should take this serious."

"I do."

"Then tell me, what the essential factor in this memory is?"
Sam looks around and thought about the scene. He wanted this Christmas even if he didn't like Christmas per se. Paradox. He wanted to spend time with his brother and not in a hunting way. No, more in a remindful way. He wanted more good memories with Dean outside of hunting. The central factor in this memory was Dean. So this was his answer.

"Which means also …" John implies.

"Family!" Sam answers.

"Good boy. You're really smart."

"Ha ha funny."

"Come on I bring you back to your room. Your next appointment is waiting. But before we go I wanted to tell you I am sorry for all our fighting. I was proud of you and that you got into Stanford, I really was."

Sam was perplex, being dead had made his Dad soft. But he also appreciated the apology. "Thanks Dad, me to!" and hugs his father. "Who is the next one?"
John smiles and simply says. "You will see." with that they were back in Sam's room.


"Hi John." Ellen said as they materialized in Sam's room again.

"Hey." Bobby simply said.

"Ellen, Bobby." John greets them.

Instead of verbalizing the greeting Sam went to hug first Ellen and then Bobby. They were like second parents to him.

"I didn't get such a warm welcome." John states.

"Yeah, because you kicked me out of my dream, Dad." Sam answers.

"Typical John." Bobby said.

"We take it from here." Ellen said before she hugs John goodbye.

"Careful he is a stubborn one." John points at Sam before he vanished.

"So, why are you here?" Sam asks them.

"I think you know the answer igjit."

"Yeah, you're the ghost of the present Christmas. I know the book and have seen some of the movies. But normally there was only one for every timeframe." Sam points out matter-of-factly.

"You're not normal."

"I know that, that's why I don't see any sense in celebrating Christmas." Sam states. Ellen and Bobby look at each other before they gave him a head-slap at the same time. "Apparently that's the theme for today's events." Without responding to that, they zapped them into the library.


In the library Dean, Jody, Cas and the girls were decorating the tree. In the background you could her silently music playing. Everyone was having a good time. They were laughing together.

Sam was the outsider with Bobby and Ellen by his side watching them. Nobody took notice of them, so he figured that they couldn't see them. The scene was like a scene out of a chick flick Christmas movie, but it looked kind of nice. It stings a little bit, that he wasn't part of that and he feels like they didn't miss him at all.

As a que Jody asks Dean. "What's up with Sam? Why isn't he here?"

Dean's smile dies down as he answers her question. "He kinda hates Christmas and I can't blame him for that. Growing up we didn't have fairytale Christmases and after that we only celebrated Christmas once. That was before I went to hell. So you can say not really happy memories."

"Oh, I understand, but it's sad, that he isn't here."

"Yeah it feels incomplete."

Again tears start in Sam's eyes. After being literally the Grinch to his brother, he still wants to celebrate Christmas with him. But after seeing this he didn't has the chance to change it, because tomorrow it would have already happened.

He turns to his two companions. "Why are you showing me this to make me sad?" Sam asks Ellen and Bobby.

"No, Igjit. To show you that normal is possible."

"Even for hunters." Ellen finishes the sentence for Bobby.

"The importance of family." Sam concludes.

Ellen steps in front of Sam and puts her hands on his shoulders. With a sad tone in her eyes she said in a serious voice. "Sam you still have family that's alive, not all of them are related, but they are your family. Hunting brought you together; don't ignore them, because of the family you already lost and all your bad memories."

"It is easy to say that nothing god ever happens on Christmas for you, but that's not true. The good was that you always were with your family, with your brother." Bobby states after Ellen.

Sam turns back to the scene and watches as Dean hands everyone eggnog. They cheered to each other and then drank up. Yes, they were a family, his family, not a perfect one, but which one is. The scene faiths away from his eyes and he is back in his room again after he blinked.


"Boy we have a moment before your next stop is here." Bobby states.

"We want you to know, that we as in me, Bobby, John, Mary, Jo, Pamela, Caleb, Pastor Jim, Henry and Ash believe in you and Dean. We know you can fight the darkness." Ellen said with tears in his eyes.

"Do your research and you find a way, but be careful you two were a little bit reckless in the past." Bobby points out.

"Okay." Sam simply said, because of the loss of words. After everything they have done, their family still believed in them. That's the greatest present you could give Sam and he was grateful for that.

Ellen hugs Sam as she said. "Take care."

"Say hi to Jo form me. We especially he misses her." his whispers in her ears. He didn't need to say his name. They both know Dean misses Jo and would she be still alive he would tell her that. She simply nods to that.

After that Bobby hugs Sam for a short moment, he also said. "Take care."

"Will do."

Ellen and Bobby smile one last time at him before they vanish. Sam silently asks himself, who would come next. He didn't have to wait long, because after a short moment she is standing in front him.


"Mom" he asks unbelievable. He only had seen her a couple of times in his life, but every time she takes his breath away. Without waiting for an answer he embraces her in his arms.

"Hey baby." They hug for a while, because Sam simply don't want to let got. But time was an issue. "Baby we don't have time."

"So you are the ghost of future Christmas."

"Yes honey."

"Ok. I am not sure whether I am happy to see the future or not?"
"I know, but you have to see It." she holds out her hand to him, he nods and takes it.


In a blink of an eye they again were in the library of the bunker, but sometime in the future. Sam's older self was sitting on the table and reads a book. He was alone and his attitude tells Sam that he grumpy and nerved, but why?

"What happened to him or better me?" Sam asks his mother, not sure he really wants to know the answer to this question.

"He is alone. Dean is at Jody's for Christmas like every year after the first one in the bunker and you wouldn't tag along." Not a happy future Sam imagined. Ok, Dean was still alive but Sam was so stubborn that he was alone on Christmas Eve. The question is, has the present Christmas an influence on the relationship with Dean outside of the holidays.

"Are we still brothers?" he ask his mother, because he couldn't find the answer alone.

She was now the one with tears in her eyes. "Not really, baby. You got grumpier and grumpier and at some point Dean had enough. You have to understand that

Dean learned after the Mark of Cain was gone, that he still had to possibility to live, at least a little bit and he started living with celebrating Christmas. The two of you slowly drifted apart, simply because you weren't trying to understand him and at some point he gave up to convince you."

Damn me, Sam thought. "Is their hope?" he hopefully asked his mother.

"Yeah Baby. Do you wanna know why I am the future ghost?"

"Yes Mom, please."

"I never wanted my boys to be hunters. I wanted a normal life for both of you. But my wish wasn't fulfilled. You became hunters and as soon as you tried a normal life you got burned Sam. So you believed normal isn't in the cards for you." Sam nods in understanding. "We both only so one way, but Baby it doesn't have to be one way or the other. You could do both at least in the little things like family holidays."

He closed his eyes and thinks a moment about that. He isn't sure if he can do that, but he knows he doesn't want to lose Dean as his brother. They are family and a Winchester does everything for family. As he opens his eyes again, he is back in his room, his mother by his side.

"Thanks Mom for visiting." he said and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"I hope you learned your lesson, Baby."

"Yeah family is important and that's what Christmas is about." he states matter-of-factly. He really understands it now. It didn't matter that Christmas isn't his favorite holiday, but to be with Dean or the rest of his remaining family, he would enjoyed it.

As answer she simply smiles. Sam goes back to his bed and lies down. For the first time in his life, that he can remember, his mother ducks him in. She gave him a kiss on the forehead and with a smile on his face he closes his eyes.

"Sleep tight, my baby boy."


As Sam awakes, his room is dark and his mother as well as all his other visitors are gone without a trace. At first he thought everything was a dream, but the headache from the several head-slap convinced him otherwise. He takes a look at his alarm clock and is surprised. It is only 8:05 pm. He only went to bed five minutes ago. That makes him happy, he gets up and dressed.

But before he leaves his room for the Christmas celebration with his family, he searches his closet for the amulet, which he gifted his brother with all those years ago. Dean threw it away after Sam's mistakes and believed it was gone. But Dean didn't know that Sam collected the amulet out of the trash that day, to give it back to him someday. Hopefully at a day Dean had forgiven him for his wrong doing.

This day is today. The amulet means as much to Sam as to Dean. For Sam it was the present from a child to his father, which Dean always was. So he hoped he would be happy to receive it again, because to Dean the amulet means that he had done something right with Sam. As soon as he found the amulet he put in the pocket of his jeans.


Sam enters the room as Dean hands out the eggnog to everyone. "Can I have one?" he asks in a loud voice.

Everyone turns around to him and they smile. The biggest smile was on Dean's face. "Of course, but can you hold your liquor`?"

"We will see." with that he walked to Dean, took one of the glasses, they all cheered to each other and then drank up. This time Sam wasn't a watcher, he was part of it.

After the others turned back to decorating the tree, Dean walked to his brother and asks him. "What changed your mind?"

"You wouldn't believe me!" Sam says with a smile.

"Try me."

"Do you know Charles Dickens a Christmas Carol?"

"Yes, why?"

Sam simply winks at him before he walks away to help with the decorations. He let his brother figured it out by himself. When nobody is watching he carefully takes the amulet out of his pocket and hides it under the tree. Present time is in the morning and he knows that Dean would be the first one up. He easily would find it and know who had given him that. Sam only hoped that Dean would be happy about it.


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