Me and my ever ranging open mind. Doesn't help I've been reading Red Witch's fanfiction either. Also doesn't help my fertile imagination.
Oh well, here's a one shot of mine. I just had this idea, so I typed it before I could try and reign in the plot bunny. I do not own G.I. Joe. I would not be writing on this site if I did.
Hey, whatcha doing there? No, you idiot, look up, up yeah, I'm here on the windowsill, yeah, the black cat whose turf you're coming on. What the heck are you looking for? Those are my garbage pails, and kit, if you are even thinking of eating them, you will lose one of your nine lives.
What's my name? Kit, let me tell you something, names around here are earned. But you can call me Scat. Now moving on, you think you can live here? Let me give you a tour and we'll see.
Kit, forget the garbage pails, nothing really in there anyway. If you're that hungry then follow me. I'll show you the Mess hall.
No, not that type of mess you numbskull, it's another term for cafeteria or restaurant, a place humans get food. What rock have you been living under?
Oh, it's your first life, go figure.
Anyway Kit, stay close, I'll point out the people who you should stay away from and those that you can get close too on the way. Mind, this is just one of my homes.
Okay first lesson, see that guy with the black wife beater and dog tags? That's Sgt. Slaughter. You do not get close to him under any circumstances. He doesn't care much for animals. The man next to him with the ski mask, that's Beach head. You stay away from his teddy bear and he'll tolerate you- Move your tail, Kit!
Okay, the woman in the truck is Cover girl. Don't let her name or her face fool you, she's a tough cookie. Nice to cats, but that's on the sly. The Man she was chasing looked like Clutch. He's one of the men under her, but that doesn't stop him from hitting on her. Maybe he'll learn after this round of chicken. Her favorite car is being repaired, it's called the Mauler. And before you ask, yeah that's how I lost half my tail.
What? Oh, those two that are fighting do that all the time. The guy in the tight spandexy suit is called Wetsuit, and that's what he wears, Kit. The guy he's arguing with is leatherneck. Don't let the argument fool you, one time Wet Suit went missing and Leatherneck was yelling at General Hawk for not sending a rescue party. When they found Wetsuit, who almost went to the beyond, Leatherneck refused to leave his side. Wetsuit worries about the marine the same way. But don't tell anyone, they don't like admitting they're friends.
Who's General hawk? Oh, we're passing his office right now. He's the most important man on base. Who's the blonde man with the crew cut? That's Duke. He's the second on command, and one of the more sane men on base. He's okay to cats, but he prefers dogs.
Here's the mess. Better pray that it's not BA cooking. What's BA stand for? Bon Appetite. Unfortunately, his food's not that appetizing. Trust me, not even the dogs will eat it, and you know something's off if the dogs don't eat it. Oh good, it's Roadblock. He's good. He'll give you free scraps if- oh for crying out loud, Cat's don't beg, have some dignity! Forget it. Your empty stomach must've gone to your head.
Now that you've eaten your fill Kit, let's check out the ninjas. We'll stop at the motor pool after that, then the med bay, so keep up.
Okay, the lady in red is Jinx. She's another tough cookie. The guy that masked so you can't see anything of his face is called Snake Eyes- Why does he wear the mask? He got scarred up rescuing the Dam he loves kid. Okay, yeah, it's mushy, but that's what he did. Okay the other guy fully masked but with two eye holes is Kamakura . . . he's okay, you two ought to get along. Okay, the guy in white is Storm Shadow, he recently came to the Joe side, and he and Snake Eyes are brothers. And Kit, that dog lying near the door is actually a wolf, he belongs to Snake Eyes.
Now onto the motor Pool. Oh good, it's poker night. Which means I won't have to keep giving you this tour. The guy in the round hat, that's Shipwreck. He's easy going until you rile him up, then he's dangerous. The bird on his shoulder is Polly, a very annoying bird.
Okay, there's Ace and Airborne, Airborne's got ESP, so he doesn't play that much. What's ESP? Kit, you need to visit a library.
Huh, there's some people missing- watch it, Kit!
Okay, that was Lt. Falcon. And the red blur was Jinx. He must've done something to insult her. Kit, here's something about human women, they may act sweet, but all the ones on this base have been trained to kill. They do not have a problem with harming anything. Though the exception so far is Lady Jaye, who's currently kissing Flint. Yeah, that's what they're doing Kit, we'll just keep moving.
Ah, here's the command center. There's Mainframe- He likes some girl called Zarana, but she's not exactly the nicest dam for him to fall for. Dial-Tone and Sci-fi, they're playing a video game. That's Firewall, she's a nice girl. Oh, and that's Scarlett! She's the Dam Snake Eyes likes, but Duke's kinda edging in on her and Snake Eyes can't really talk or declare she's his. It's going to end badly for at least two out of the three.
Okay, here's the Med bay. Must've been a hard mission. The guy in the ridiculous red outfit is Lifeline. He's a good guy; he doesn't like fighting though, and has risked his life on the battle field to save others. The guy he's talking to is called Low-Light. Ironically, he's the opposite of Lifeline, he kills and doesn't think twice. And somehow the two are friends.
Alright, the guy who only has pants on is Quick Kick, he's tough. Though a bit stupid. The Native American in the bed over from him is Spirit. He kind, and has taken care of me over the years.
The guy with the dog on his bed is Mutt, the dog's Junkyard. There's another guy and dog on the base, called Law and Order, they're out right now. Alright, the guy right there is Dusty, and the guy who cannot stop saying like is Footloose. They're best friends. Over there is Cross Country, he and Dusty currently are trying to win Cover girl.
You want to know why, Kit? There's only . . . Cover girl, Scarlett, Firewall, Jinx, Lady Jaye . . . oh, and Raven, I almost forgot about her. So Six dams on the base, and you're wondering why they're trying to fight over the one's they have.
On a side note about Duke, he's actually got a dam that he rescued. Name's Selena. He's checks in on her every so often.
As of now Kit, this tour is over.
"Hey there Scat Cat, who's your friend?" Doc picked up the old beaten black cat, and looked down at the grey tabby kitten.
"Hey Doc, I didn't know you collect strays." Dusty looked up from the card game.
"Of course he does, how else do you think he picked out Lifeline?" Lifeline actually gave Low Light a light punch on the shoulder. Low Light smirked. Spirit carefully stood up and got to the window, then quickly scooped up the timid Kitten. "No sense letting him freeze to death, the temperature's been dropping steadily."
"Well, what are we going to name it?"
"How about, like, Stripes?"
"Footloose, is that the best you can do?"
"How about Fang?" Lowlight watched the kitten yawn and snuggle against Spirit.
"How about not?" Lifeline glanced at Lowlight.
"Mmm . . . How about Stitch?"
"Quick Kick, you've been watching Disney movies again?"
"There was nothing else on T.V.! And besides, Scat Cat is the name of a cat from the Aristocats- laugh it up Mutt, if my stomach wasn't so ripped up, I'd pound you one."
"Considering this is the med bay, Stitch might not be such a bad choice." Lifeline offered.
"So, all in favor of naming him Stitch?" There was a chorus of ayes. Doc passed Scat to Low Light, much to everyone's amusement. Then picked up the tiny kitten. "All right, I dub the Stitch. Our newest addition to the med Bay." The Kitten blinked sleepy eyes, and purred. "Welcome to G.I. Joe."
Scat just curled against Low Light, amused as the kitten was passed from one Joe to the other. His old bones couldn't take many more winters, and he was glad he'd found a suitable replacement. He'd teach the kit the ropes of the base soon enough.
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