Disclaimer- I do not claim to own Harry Potter or anything mentioned in this story. This is all from the mind of the lovely and talented Ms. Rowling. Also, in my fan fiction, certain events in Deathly Hollows will not take place. In order to risk not giving anything away… Here we go!!
"I still can't believe it." Hemione Granger shook her head as she laid back in her seat on the Hogwarts Express and pulled out a tattered piece of parchment that had been her greatest comfort. It was June, 1997 and the students had been sent home for the summer holiday. Harry merely glanced out the window, knowing this would be his last time taking this journey. Dumbledor was dead. And had to be avenged. And who better to do it than Harry, his friends, and the Order (excluding Severus Snape.) The distracted Mr. Potter looked over to Hermione, who was equally distracted. She was holding a piece of parchment and studying it carefully. Harry noticed tears forming in her brown eyes; Harry knew the reasoning for this and would not push the matter. He found himself thankful that Ron was not paying attention in the slightest; he was too involved in a book about Quiddich. Hermione didn't need his banter, not at this moment. Not when she wanted and needed to remember what she lost.
Six Months Earlier
"Harry!! Ron!!" A cheerful Hermione hugged her two best friends. For the first time in the New Year, she was back at Hogwarts. And she was happy to be back with her friends. "How was your Holiday?" She asked a bright smile on her lips that didn't go unnoticed. Any boy who was in their sixth year and was in their right mind would have. She had grown from the know-it-all with bushy hair and large front teeth, to a perfectly groomed young woman of seventeen. Her brown hair was worn in spiral curls, sometimes pulled back in various forms, her body was the bearer of curves, and her smile was beautiful. The young, naïve girl who had started at Hogwarts: School of Witch Craft and Wizardry had grown into a beautiful young woman who was of age in the magical world they lived in.
Along with the mere boys, another noticed Hermione's smile. Severus Snape sat at the staff table, "enjoying" a welcome back feast for the students who went away for the Christmas holiday and listening to the small talk of his colleagues. Something he'd rather not hear, but he could not protest. But it gave him an excuse to look at the young witch who reminded him so much of the only woman he had ever loved before he saw the woman Miss Ganger had become. She had no right to be like Lily…but at the same time…Miss Granger had every right. It made him feel as if he had not lost everything with Lily and could have a chance to set things right…The only cruel twist that fate had created was the fact that Miss Ganger was his student…He could not act on his impulses.
"Professor Snape," Albus Dumbledor had turned from Professor McGonagall and their conversation to face Snape. The wiry hair of the professor moved according to the head's sharp turn from the reunion between Miss Ganger and her moronic friends at the Headmaster's voice, "I would like to see you in my office after the feast to discuss certain matters."
"Of course Headmaster," Snape said with a nod. He picked up his fork with his long fingers, eyeing Miss Granger as she sat and chatted with her fellow Gryffindors.
"Did you get anything good for Christmas 'Mione?" The red headed Ronald Weasley as he stuffed his mouth with the elegant foods provided by the house-elves of Hogwarts. All Hermione did was nod, her brown eyes daring to search for black cloaks at the staff's table for, what she concluded, was no reason at all. But Harry watched as one of his best friends carried out her secretive action. For what she was looking for, Harry didn't know, and, as per usual, Ron was oblivious.
"My parents bought me a collection of used books." Hermione smiled gently as she looked away from the staff table and to her friend. "Mostly Jane Austin and various other muggle authors." She held onto her smile, knowing Ron wouldn't know many. "What about you Ronald?"
Ron shrugged at this question, looking up to Hermione with a one sided smile. "Nothing as grand as you. Percy bought a new broom and told Mum and Dad to give me his old one." But Hermione wasn't paying much attention. Which was unusual for her as she was always the one who was sincere. However, something had happened over the Christmas holiday…Something she couldn't tell anyone.
Later that evening, Hermione found herself wandering back to the Gryffindor common room without her topical companions. Ron wanted to keep stuffing his face, Harry wanted to rest and finish up his essays that were due in the morning, and Hermione was keen on getting to the library before students were required to be in their dorms. After spending a month with her muggle parents and without her books on the Wizarding world, she felt rather empty. There was only one thing that kept her connected to who she was, and that was a lovely owl by the name of Gregor that came to her room nightly with long scrolls of parchment from an anonymous person describing his or her affection for her and how he drives him or her mad without poor Hermione even knowing it. One of her favorite letters, albeit creepy, contained Sonnet 130 from Shakespeare's collections. With that knowledge, Hermione assumed that the witch or wizard who sent her these letters was a muggle-born like herself. She would find out soon.
When Hermione reached the library, she took a deep breath. Along with wanting to take out a few books on her world, the last piece of parchment, (the one with Sonnet 130 written out), was instructions to meet this person in the library after the feast. Curiosity got the best of young Hermione, so she agreed to the meeting. Unsure what to expect, the young witch pulled a copy of "Hogwarts: A History" from the shelves. She couldn't help but to smile. Over the years, this had been her favorite book. Now it seemed small compared to most books she read, especially muggle books.
But that was what she was left with that very book. Hours passed, Hermione finished one book, began another. And her pen pal over the Christmas Holiday remained in the shadows. He couldn't bear to reveal himself to her…not yet…Not under the circumstances. He wasn't ready for it like he thought he would be when he sent the owl. And that left Hemione heart broken. After waiting two hours, she shelved the book she had been reading and looked around one last time, looking for any form of movement in the candle light.
Silence.
More Silence.
Nothing.
A downtrodden Hermione looked down, feeling hot tears well up in her eyes as her breath became shaky. She was let down. She had hoped, so hard, that he would show himself to her. That he'd end the mystery. The mystery lived on.
Meanwhile
"You wished to see me Headmaster?" Severus Snape said as Dumbledor sat behind his desk. The old wizard leaned back into his chair and patted his stomach as though he were full from the bountiful feast he had so very much enjoyed. All Snape could do was look at a near by clock, hoping this meeting would be finished quickly as he had set a prior engagement. As out of character as it was for him…Snape was eager to get to the library.
"Yes Severus…" Albus said as he stood up and began talking of Order business. Whenever Dumbledor's back was turn, Snape would roll his eyes, hoping that each point was the last. He could only imagine how long she had been waiting, how long she had been sitting in the place where they were set to meet. And he could only hope to forgive him.
Two hours passed and Snape had given up any hope that he would be able to end whatever was started, all while ending a torment. Snape has resolved to sitting in the chair across from Dumbledor's desk as the old man spoke business. Towards the end of the meeting, the head that held wiry black hair was being cradled by the pale hand and long fingers of Severus Snape who kept his posture nearly perfect with the exception of lean his body had naturally created in order to cradle his head in his hand.
"That'll be all Severus," Albus said, finally as he slid a book back onto the shelf that owned it. Severus stood up, nodded a bow to Albus, and left. He walked as quickly as he could, his cloak billowing behind him as he navigated the corridors and the stair cases. He could only hope that she was still there, reading if anything. And that she hadn't brought the moron twins to what was supposed to be extremely secretive.
And there was lucky. There she stood, near tears as she put a book away. Severus could not move and knew that he'd be able to hide behind the mask of darkness. He could not go to make himself known to her in this state. He often forgot that young Miss Granger was just that… young. She held herself so highly, like a grown, intelligent woman…But underneath it all…She was still a teenage girl with raging hormones…and worst of all…she was his student. He was hoping to stamp out whatever hopes he had left from his time with Lily with this meeting. But as he watched the beautiful young woman caress her beloved books, her beautiful brown eyes darting around the darkened room, he found that his endearment for her only grew. He watched as a silent tear rolled down her cheek which was flushed with embarrassment as her tear-filled eyes spoke of lost hope.
When the young Miss Ganger left the library, Severus scolded himself. He had missed his chance. Trelawney would have thought it to be a sign, which was why Severus rarely associated himself with the woman. But Severus…just saw it as something maddening and headed to the dungeons. He needed to be alone to calm his anger and develop a new plan of so-called attack. Already, he knew he would be up until the late hours. Anything for her.
