Dear Gentle Reader,
After being "encouraged" for a few days to share this with you all, I am. This was originally part of the last chapter. I cut it because it didn't quite flow with the rest of the chapter. I saved bits and pieces of it and wove it into the conversations. It is quite different in tone from the rest of Vapor Trails. It even had an entirely different music list for it.
Mozart-Symphony No. 40 in G minor, K 550 [complete].
Benny Goodman- "Sing, Sing, Sing"
Kenny G- "Songbird"
Herb Alpert and The Tijuana Brass- "1980" and "Rise"
It will show the dynamic of Douglas' former life in full. This is a gift to all the readers of Vapor Trails. This is Martin's bonkers dream in full. Enjoy the read.
Martin could feel himself drift off to sleep. Herc had somehow gotten Douglas and himself to cut through all the guff they always threw at each other. They had cleared a lot of the air between them.
Martin could feel himself being lifted and stayed still. Herc gently arranged him in the bed. Martin cracked his eyes to watch Herc do the same to Douglas. Douglas was so exhausted. Herc could have carried him to the parking lot and Douglas would have barely noticed. Herc sighed and kneeled between the beds.
"Jordan would be so damn proud of you both."
Herc's voice was barely above a whisper.
"Jordan always said someone would be able to crack that mental lock you threw on yourself Douglas. I am just glad I got to witness it."
Herc goes silent. Martin doesn't need to open his eyes. Herc's breathing tells him all he needs to know.
"Jordan I wish you were here. Besides the fact that I still miss you terribly, you need to meet your Grand fledging. Good lad if a bit neurotic."
Herc lets out a quiet laugh. Martin can feel Herc gently ruffle his hair. Martin opens his eyes enough to see Herc smoothing Douglas' hair back.
"Douglas like I said all those years ago. Anytime you want to rest there is always room for you in my nest. Or I should say room for both of you. It is good to have you back Douglas."
Martin has to stifle a whimper. He was sure Herc meant to say all of this in secret. Martin watches Herc stand up and walk to the door.
"Sweet dreams you two."
Herc shuts the door. Martin watches Douglas to see if he heard any of that. Douglas' breathing never changes. That quiet breathing lulls Martin back to sleep.
Martin finds himself sitting in a 757-200.
"Oh my God. I'm on Metis! Please no!"
Martin's panic soon subsides. There are no passengers.
What am I doing here?
The cabin door opens and Herc and Neal step inside. Followed quickly by Will, Matt, Olivia and Patty. Everyone is in casual clothing and milling about.
"I am not sure about this." Matt states.
"Why?" Neal asks.
"He still can't see any stars."
"Also he is still having screaming nightmares." adds Will. "Not that I blame him."
"Listen everybody. We are all nervous. If Douglas wants to try and fly. Let him." Herc states.
This is Douglas' first post-crash flight? How?
Douglas walks through the door looking shaky and pale. Followed by Jordan carrying Daedalus and Simon. No one says a word as Douglas quietly stares at the open flight deck. Jordan walks past and seats himself in the Captain's chair. Jordan gently pats Douglas' seat.
Douglas walks to the flight deck. Martin can see that he is shaking like a leaf. Douglas turns around and quickly runs into Simon.
"No way. I think not."
Martin watches as Simon corrals Douglas into his chair. Martin never got the impression that Simon was the tough love type.
I've been wrong about worst things.
Simon closes the flight deck door.
"Keep it open!"
Simon sighs and opens it back up.
"Listen Douglas. Neal and I are right here. If anything happens to either of you, we can take over. Just try it."
"Listen Love. You were all excited about trying this last night at dinner. What happened?"
Martin recognizes Hector's voice coming in from the tower.
"I just don't know, everyone. What if I really can't fly anymore?"
"Douglas you have been ambushing your attempts to do this for weeks now." Patty states.
Will walks on the flight deck and stares at Douglas.
"Nothing bad is going to happen mate. Just try it for us."
Douglas hears a chorus of pleases from everyone. Douglas smiles.
"Ok. For you all."
Douglas calms after about twenty minutes in the air. The flight was a huge circle around London. The magic mixture that Herc had brought into their hotel room was being mixed and given to Douglas. Martin can hear the conversations all over the plane. Everyone is still a bit shaken up.
It had taken three weeks to get to this point. A week and a half ago Jordan and Herc flew this plane with everyone else in the cabin. Jordan was fine.
"Herc of course I am fine. I was rather busy having a heart attack to notice much else."
They had a laugh about that. Martin puts it together that it is almost three months since the crash. Hector, Nathan and Chris are on full chat mode from the tower.
After an hour everyone is involved in a complex game of switching actor and actresses names. Martin figures the game choice is deliberate. Will is winning every third round. Soon the plane is filled with laughter. Douglas is looking a lot more normal. Jordan is beaming a mix of pride in Douglas and happiness for being in the air. The flight lasts for about 2 hours.
The flight goes smoothly. Douglas took the takeoff. Jordan wasn't going to push the landing issue. Douglas mostly had control.
"Just think of me like training wheels. Douglas you are doing fine."
Jordan was trying to keep the atmosphere as light as possible. Not that he expected Douglas to breakdown in the flight deck. Douglas had gone very emotionally quiet since the crash. The flight had already been a success. Douglas' bright laugh had returned. The landing went smoothly. Douglas had gone pale and trembling. Not totally unexpected.
Douglas gives them all a hug and kiss on his way out of the plane. Douglas makes it to the concourse before his knees and stomach go rubbery. Will, Matt, Neal and Simon hustle Douglas to the loo. Herc, Patty, Olivia, Hector and Jordan are casually sitting near the gate.
"He actually did it."
Herc gets evil glances from the other four. Herc was still coming to terms with how much everyone had changed. The doctors had lectured them all on what heart surgery does to a person. Jordan had gotten happier. Which was different. Also very physical.
Herc was getting hugged, kissed, punched, slapped and touched all the time by Jordan. They had been friends for a long time. It is not that they hadn't done all the above before. The incidents had just increased exponentially. Jordan had always been very reserved. Jordan needed, craved the contact now. Same could be said of the rest of the Wonders except Douglas. Douglas had drawn in. They were trying to get him to come back out.
"Not that he wouldn't. I just figured we would be at this for another week before Douglas flew."
Jordan slaps Herc on the shoulder.
"We know."
Douglas emerges being led and steadied by Simon and Will. Hector goes and wraps Douglas in a hug. Douglas is a bit stiff but grateful.
"Love that boy. I really do. However the strength of his stomach leaves a lot to be desired." Jordan states through a smile.
They all share a smile and nod.
"We are all going back to my place."
Hector looks crestfallen. He would love to go but has a tower to run. Jordan gives him a hug.
"Thanks for talking us through that."
"Anytime."
"We will make the three of you dinner plates."
Hector gives Jordan a huge smile.
"We better get dessert."
Their laughter bounces around the concourse.
In two hours all nine of them are dozing peacefully at Jordan's house. Martin watches as the scene fast forwards about five hours. Will, Matt and Neal are all cooking dinner in the kitchen. Dinner was quite a spread. The apple/blackberry and lemon meringue pies baked by Will topped it off.
The scene fast forwards again. It is about 8pm.
"Douglas you are acting like a five year old."
"I am not, Olivia."
"Douglas if you can give us one rational reason for not showing us your wings we will let you be." Jordan states.
Douglas is quiet for a moment.
"They will just get everyone upset."
"Douglas." Simon sighs.
"Douglas listen you just flew for the first time today. I saw the light come back on in your eyes. I know you can't fake that." Jordan quietly states.
They can all hear the sniffle punctuated by a thud of Douglas' fist into the wall.
"It is time to take your wings out again. So open the door and stop hiding in the loo."
Douglas opens the door with his head down. Will grabs his wrist and leads him to the living room. Douglas starts pacing circles.
"They look horrible."
Simon gathers Douglas in a hug.
"Stop it Simon."
"Make me."
Simon sees Douglas' signature mischievous glint light up his eyes for a second. Simon smiles in response. Then it is gone. Simon sighs and squeezes him a bit tighter.
"Just pop them Douglas." Neal states.
"It looks like they have mange."
"Douglas Richardson pop those wings now. That is an order."
"Yes, Sir Jordan."
Simon and Douglas disappear into a haze of downy fluff.
Martin quietly laughs until he hears Douglas.
They can all hear Douglas whispering "Sorry" over and over again. Simon looks down at Douglas. His eyes are dry and clear but the first bout of hiccups starts.
"Shh. It is ok."
Everyone is trying to cut through the haze to check out his wings.
"See they are..awful."
Jordan starts waving the down away. Jordan slaps the back of his head.
"What was...that for?"
"There is no need to get upset."
"I'm.. not..upset."
Douglas gets gently slapped from so many directions he can't cover up. Simon isn't helping him either. Douglas can feel various bursts of air on different parts of his wings. He can't seem to keep them still.
"Ok twitchy. I'm going to let go of you only if you promise not to run and hide anywhere."
"Sod...off Simon."
Douglas is growling through a smile. Simon kisses the top of Douglas' head.
"I love you too."
Douglas just sighs. Patty and Olivia drop a comforter on the carpet. Douglas lays down on his stomach and snuggles into a few pillows. Douglas can feel his wings being stretched out.
"It looks like all your flight feathers are back." Herc states.
"We just have to get all this down picked out." Neal finishes.
"Thank..you everyone."
A chorus of "Your Welcome." answers him.
Martin can't believe he is seeing this. Martin watches as Douglas' wings are cleaned out. He just can't hold them still.
"Douglas, honey, is this bothering you?" Olivia quietly asks.
"No."
His voice sounds thick. The further out on his wings they move, the more Douglas is squirming. Matt hits a stubborn bit of down and starts gently picking. Douglas lets out a little squeak. He quickly covers it with a cough. To late. Everyone heard it and saw Douglas start to flutter kick. The people in front of him look confused.
"Sorry Douglas."
"Ok I guess there are still some tender spots."
Martin laughs. Jordan looks quizzically at Douglas. Jordan throws a pillow on the floor and lays down in front of him. Douglas' head had disappeared under a pillow over ten minutes before. The hiccups had mostly stopped. Which means he had calmed down some.
"Douglas. Look at me."
Douglas lifts the pillow and Jordan breaks out into a big grin. Jordan pushes the pillow back down into Douglas' face.
"We are all going to take a tea break."
Douglas sprints out of the living room. The rest follow Jordan to the kitchen.
"Jordan are we hurting him?"
"Patty, Douglas' wings are regrowing. When a pilot first pops their wings.." Jordan states.
"the wings are extremely sensitive. You have to leave them out for a few days. The wings will get used to the basic stimuli that the pilot rotates through on a daily basis." Herc finishes.
Jordan and Neal nod in agreement. Everyone settles down to tea and snacks.
"Douglas!"
"Will, just give me a few."
"It is a bit shocking. That is all."
"Why Simon?"
"Jordan, Douglas has had us messing with his wings for years. He has never reacted like that."
Jordan laughs. Jordan walks over and takes one of his favorite pictures off the wall.
"Especially, you two."
The picture is of Douglas sitting between Patty and Olivia. His wings are arched over each of them. Each wing has flowers tucked into the leading edge. The overall effect is one of a flower veil hanging over the three of them. Patty and Olivia just smile and clink tea cups.
"We were arranging flowers into his wings for about a half hour for that shot." Matt says with a laugh.
Herc is watching Jordan's face. He looks peaceful for the first time in months. Herc cuts into a piece of the apple/blackberry pie. Today has been good. A few bites in, Jordan is at his shoulder.
"We need to talk." Jordan whispers.
"Excuse us for a moment."
Jordan leads him to one of the bedrooms.
"What is it?"
"You know what just happened? Please tell me you figured this out Herc."
Jordan's face is soon sporting a goofy grin on it.
"No but now I'm highly interested."
Herc and Jordan reappear at the kitchen door. They watch as Douglas is quietly sipping tea and having his wings flexed by Neal and Simon. Neal looks the two Captains over and stops stretching Douglas' wing. The look on their faces stops Simon also.
"Neal? Simon?"
Neal sets Douglas' tea cup down.
"Douglas when I tell you to, run and hide."
"Why?"
"When Herc gets that look on his face, nothing good can come from it. Trust me. I realize that Jordan isn't mine, he is yours. Look at him. Whatever is making Herc smile like that is making Jordan look like he looks."
Herc and Jordan allow themselves a short burst of laughter. Everyone just clears a path between the four pilots. Neal puts Douglas behind him.
"My fledgling knows me well. We would never harm Douglas. So why protect him?"
"I know harm is not in the cards. Mischief however is."
Jordan gives Douglas a look that makes him crouch behind Neal. Herc takes a step forward and Neal's wings come out. If Herc's wings are big, Neal's are massive. They are as long as Jordan's wings. They are as broad as Douglas'. Neal has the wings of an Andean Condor. Douglas disappears behind the wings. Olivia laughs and starts a countdown.
"Playtime commences in 3.."
"Herc if you want him you have to go though me."
"Not a problem"
"..2"
Both Herc and Jordan do exaggerated stretches against the door frame. Douglas stands back up behind Neal. Douglas is trying his best not to smile. Douglas' eyes are already laughing. Jordan and Herc notice this and smile at each other. Herc goes into a runners stance.
"..1."
Douglas runs out of the kitchen, through the dining room and disappears. Herc stays low and charges forward. Neal lands up over Herc's shoulder. Herc carries him through the dinning room. Neal's wiggling unbalances Herc. They roll into the living room.
Martin chooses to follow Jordan. Jordan strolls out the front door. He stops outside various windows to call Douglas' name. Which sends Douglas scurrying. Martin continues to follow him round to the garden. Martin laughs.
Jordan is herding Douglas. This is funny.
Jordan waits in a dark corner of the garden. Jordan can see the tangle of limbs and wings that Herc and Neal have become. His five muses are moving furniture out of the way so they don't hurt themselves. Martin can see Jordan is beaming.
Probably been a while since this house has been filled with this much happiness.
Douglas quietly slips into the garden. Martin watches as he catches his breath. Jordan is silently coming up behind Douglas. Martin feels like warning him.
I'm just watching a memory.
Douglas almost turns around exposing Jordan. The sight of Herc launching Neal about 2 meters to land on the sofa catches his eye. They are both grinning like idiots. Douglas laughs.
"I forgot how strong Herc can be."
Douglas does a jump turn and lands up facing Jordan.
"Jordan!"
"Hi Douglas. How are you feeling?"
"Other than you scaring the bejabbers out of me, I'm fine."
Jordan gave Douglas a look that said he knew that is a lie. A squeak out of Neal draws their attentions back to the living room. Neal is currently across Herc's shoulders.
"How often have I told you. I can do this all day."
Martin doesn't hear all of Neal's response. He catches two words, "old man". Jordan and Douglas are trying to stifle their giggling. Herc drops him to the floor and the wrestling match begins.
"It is rather remarkable how the Universe works."
"What do you mean Jordan?"
"The Universe tries to correct imbalances and mistakes. Not always right away. But they do eventually get fixed."
Douglas looked confused.
"Why didn't you want to try and fly today?"
"I was afraid I couldn't do it."
Jordan gave him a look.
"I know it is ok to be scared. As long as you don't let the fear take over."
"That is correct. And?"
"It felt good to be up there."
"You look much better for it."
Jordan wrapped him in a hug. Douglas still felt a bit stiff.
"It will all be ok. Just different. I will be up there with you as many times as you can stand me."
Jordan felt Douglas grip him tighter. He understood.
"Now back to mistakes being corrected."
Douglas pulled back. Jordan was happy to see his eyes glazed over. Douglas had been on emotional lockdown since the crash. Right now Jordan wanted to see his boy laugh. Not cry. Jordan went back to his wings.
"What was the one thing you couldn't do the after the crash?"
"Think straight?"
"Yes. Besides that though."
Herc had spotted Jordan and Douglas in the garden. All of this tussling with Neal was a distraction to let them talk.
"You lost your ability to feel. To laugh Douglas. That is what you were missing that night. Nothing to stop that rather vicious temper of yours rising up and consuming you."
Douglas could feel Jordan smoothing out his feathers. Picking out a few bits of down.
"Sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry about. These things happen."
Not that Herc minded. It felt good to connect with Neal this way. Neal attempted to take Herc out at his waist. Herc was now folded over his FO.
"Now what exactly are you going to do, Neal?"
"Ahhh."
"Have you noticed how bright the colours are on your feathers?"
"Yes. (Sniff) I have. That is what was corrected?"
"No."
Herc rolled forward and pinned Neal face up under him.
"Old man?"
"I was joking."
Douglas was starting to tense a bit. Jordan was starting to really dig between the feathers now. He couldn't keep still.
"I don't believe you Neal."
"The very feathers you destroyed are going to make sure you have at least one source of laughter."
"I'm not ticklish."
"You are now, Douglas."
Martin could see the look passed between Herc and Jordan. He was sure they really didn't plan everything out this well. It just happened.
Herc attacked Neal's hips and ribcage.
"Herc no!"
Jordan started wiggling feathers and Douglas let out a series of rumbling giggles.
"Well that is a new sound for you. It is cute."
Jordan kept it up till Douglas dropped to his knees.
"No fair Herc!"
"Life is rarely fair Neal."
Jordan let him breathe.
"Not ticklish?"
"No they are just sensitive."
Jordan's hands started running down Douglas' sides to his knees.
Herc stopped to give Neal a breather. Herc saw a light go on in Neal's eyes. Neal flipped him over.
"Don't dish out what you can't take."
Jordan and Douglas watched as Herc curled up and disappeared under Neal's wings. It was enough of a distraction for Jordan to find a few soft spots.
Martin wasn't sure what was more amusing. Herc's giggling that sounded like he hadn't dropped his voice yet. Or Douglas squirming around in the grass laughing his head off.
"Da..Jordan stop!"
Jordan had caught the almost slip. Martin watched his eyes light up.
"No."
Jordan stopped when Douglas froze mid laugh.
"What's the matter?"
Douglas buried himself into Jordan's chest.
"I can see them."
Jordan pulled Douglas head up.
"You can see your stars?"
Douglas nodded and dissolved in Jordan's arms.
"See the Universe corrects mistakes."
Jordan held him for a few more moments. Martin watched as the others walked into the garden.
"Douglas, sweetie, are you ok?"
Douglas looked up from Jordan's shoulder.
"Patty I can see them."
"See what?" Will asked.
"I got my stars back."
Jordan just got out of the way. Herc guided him back to the living room. They watched the general love fest take place in the garden.
"Jordan I told you he would open up."
"Yes you did. I didn't think our little plan would work this well. This is just the beginning though."
"True. We just have to make sure he doesn't slam the door shut again."
Herc could see Jordan's face change.
"I nearly lost him, Herc."
"No. We, he, I nearly lost you. Please never do that to me again. Best friends are a lot of trouble to find."
They allowed themselves a real hug. The squeezes said all they couldn't to each other.
"Back me up?"
"Of course, always Jordan."
"Good."
"Jordan! Help!"
Herc and Jordan went to the edge of the garden. Douglas was being poked from every direction at once.
"Do try and keep your brother in one piece everybody."
They all turned around and answered.
"Yes Sir. Jordan."
Douglas disappeared between them all. Douglas' laughter ringing out loud and clear. The scene started to fade from Martin's view.
"Douglas never totally opened back up. I had to learn that his and my muses gift for helping other pilots and crews came from that dark place they could never totally get rid of."
Martin turned around and Jordan was standing there smiling at him.
"Hello Martin."
"Jordan it is a pleasure. I hope I didn't."
"Martin, Douglas did it because he didn't want to see you suffer. The dolt never realizes it is helping him also. It just works better that way. Trust me. Thank you for helping him open up a whole lot more."
"I won't say that I saw anything."
"I know you won't. I just wanted to show you another part of the story. MJN has given him something to fight for and believe in. He needs that. I know you understand."
"I do. Jordan?"
"You want to ask about Herc?"
Martin nodded.
"It is really complex. They never stopped caring for each other. When Douglas started his alcohol problem, Herc couldn't stop it. Herc blamed himself and they drifted away."
"Is that why they looked so happy when they first saw each other?"
"Yes."
Martin smiled.
"Martin would you like to help a bit with Herc?"
"Sure. I don't see how."
Martin and Jordan talked for a long while. Martin opened his eyes to Douglas whimpering in his sleep. Martin starts rising up to help him.
"Martin I'll take care of Douglas. You go back to sleep. This has all been a bit much for him."
"Ok. Thanks Jordan."
Martin watches as Jordan starts rubbing circles between Douglas' shoulders.
"You remember what to do when you wake up?"
"Yes."
Jordan comes and gives Martin a shoulder squeeze.
"Good lad. Sweet dreams."
Jordan starts rubbing Douglas' back again. Martin watches as Douglas calms and gets a smile on his face.
