My chest burns like fire and my body shakes violently as I convulse, needing something that I couldn't quite remember. Bright lights appear in front of my eyes, flashing and popping like fireworks behind my half closed lids. It's impossible to see anything through the black water, it's like being blind. I panic and I thrash and kick against the current, my jerky movements slowed by the water that surrounds me.

I reach for what I think is the surface, but I'm so disoriented I don't know up from down. For all I know I'm drifting downwards under the depths, never to be seen again. For a brief moment my hand breaks the surface, a small skeletal hand raised with fingers spread wide over the churning dark waters, but only for an instant.

Again, I'm sucked under. Water gushes into my ears and all sound is silenced. For a moment, I don't feel anything, not the sharp pain in my lungs nor the distant pain in my head. I hear nothing, see nothing, feel nothing. It's so cold; every part of me feels numb in the freezing water. I open my mouth to let out a scream but there's no air left in my lungs and the sea rushes in. I can taste the salt.

The ocean tosses me again and I am dragged like a rag doll through the rolling waves. The sandy bottom scrapes roughly against my side like sandpaper and instinctively I flinch away from it, but the current drags me along the bottom again. The pain is distant, faint, like a dream you can't escape from. I let myself go limp. I'm so tired. So tired of fighting the death I knew would come. It was no use, the current was much stronger than me; there was no way I could win.

Something dark and shapeless comes at me from the side and slams into me. I feel a crack. I recognize the familiar texture but can't place it. Worn smooth by the sand, twisted knots and bare branches. Everything is groggy and I can't think clearly; my thoughts struggling to find their way through a thick swirling fog.

There is only an instant before the log slams into me again, the entire left side of my head goes numb, my ear stings. Black spots appear in what little vision I have through half closed eyes. Then I can't see anything, and I feel more like a bird caught in a draft rather then a girl pushed and pulled by the ocean and I gave up.

It was warm and wrapped around me, pulling me through the black sea. So was I dead? Was this an angel pulling me toward heaven? There is a rushing sound in my ears that might have been the wind blowing past my face as we flew... My face breaks through the water and the ferocious pain in my lungs returns. How disorienting… hadn't I been drowning? I felt the freezing salt water swirl around me, the ringing is replaced by the roar of the surf and the sound of the water as it crashes against rocky cliffs.

I wanted something, my lungs wanted something, but I couldn't quite remember what. A wave splashed me in the face and I cough instinctively, water streaming from the corners of my mouth. It was then that I remembered.

I had to breathe.

I suck in air too fast and my head spins. More water is coughed up and every time my lungs emit fresh pain. I hear a horrible wheezing noise and cringe, realizing the noise is coming from me. I shudder violently and the arms wrap around me tighter, keeping my body still.

I hurt. Every part of me hurts, even my bones hurt.

There's another noise, something different than the crashing ocean I was now so familiar with. It's low and panicked; the noise is warm, breathed into my ear. It's saying something, there are syllables there that might have formed words, but I'm too tired to care. I'm alive, and for me that's all that matters. Slowly, as if awakening from a deep sleep, my senses turn on one at a time. I can hear. But next I feel.

I move my arms slightly, struggling against the water. One of my hands is holding onto something. Something warm. The ocean falls away and cold air surrounds me, the sound of the surf becomes distant. There's a jostling motion and then smooth movement. The angel has finally pulled me out; I guessed that we must have been flying, but there is no rush of air against my face. No… I'm set down on something… wet, loose, soft…

Sand?

Something pushes down on my chest too hard, one, two, three times. Then something warm presses against my mouth, pushing warm air inside my mouth, into my lungs. The pressure on my chest starts again and the water that's sloshing around inside me is expelled for good.

I cough violently, rolling groggily onto my side as I vomit the remaining saltwater. I don't care about living anymore; it hurts too much all at once everywhere. With every breath I take in it burns against my throat, I vomit water, the stomach acid and salt leaves a horrible taste in my mouth and I spit, trying to get the acrid taste out.

"Hold this against her head to stop the bleeding."

The side of my head feels wet and warm, and I hesitantly lift my fingers to the side of my head but a warm hand pushes my arm away. That wheezing sound has started again and it takes me a moment to remember the noise was coming from me. There is another sound and it matches the way my chest is heaving up and down. I am crying, screaming, wailing. I am cold and wet and hungry and tired and everything, everything hurts.

Naturally, I am upset.

But screaming is wearing me out and hurting my throat so I switch to little gasping sobs instead. I don't know anything but the pain, there is no moment before this, no recollections to grasp onto. No happy thoughts to dull the throbbing behind my ear. There is only cold sea winds and the drizzle of a coastal rain.

"You're ok. It's ok. You're safe now."

"Keep applying pressure."

"Do you even know what you're doing?"

"I saw it in a movie once!"

"Hey, hey… kid, we're going to take you to the hospital, ok?"

"Oh shit, where are her parents? I swear to god-"

Underneath me the ground falls away and I panic, but strong arms hold me tighter. I realize the person who's carrying me isn't wearing a shirt. Who would be crazy enough not to wear a shirt in this abominable cold? My mind becomes foggy again and I struggle to stay awake. I try to lift my arm, but nothing happens, it's like my limbs are made of lead.

"Little girl, hey, what's your name?"

I'm crying too hard to answer. I'm choking and sobbing because this isn't fair, it isn't fair. My head is pounding because there is a railroad tie being driven into my skull. There's so much pain and I'm scared. I'm so tired, the only thing I seem to be able to do is cry.

The struggle against the water seemed to have drained all my energy. A warm sort of fluff fills my head up until I feel lightheaded and warm. It's raining sideways and the metal house filled with angels. The voices garble and fade out.