Kurt was starving and had spent the last nine hours in the stupid library at New York University. He hated that he could never find what he needed at NYADA and that always required a trip to find some good resources for his paper. The only not horrible thing is that Dave was at NYU and worked in the library. It was quite a happy accident for Kurt that he ran into Dave again, actually. He was having fits trying to find any good sources for his music theory paper and he had tried finding articles and journals and books but he found nothing. Then he found a hit for a book at the library at NYU and then he realized he was in luck, because it was in the public access section. So he took the twelve-minute bus ride from his school to the library at NYU.
He marched into the library with his necessary items, plunked his driver's license on the counter, and then stopped in his tracks when Dave Karofsky was standing at the counter punching something into the computer.
Kurt hadn't seen or talked to Dave since everything had happened nearly three years ago, and he had no clue that Dave had even gone to college, let alone got into NYU. Dave just smiled and picked up his driver's license. He didn't say much to Kurt, other than telling him what the policy for new patrons was, and how long he could keep items and the renewal policy. He asked Kurt if he wanted a regular card for his wallet, or a keychain card, and in about five minutes, all was said and done, and Kurt had his card and was on the way up the stairs looking for the book he had found earlier that day.
Truthfully it took much longer than normal, because he was still thinking about seeing Dave at the counter. He looked really good, and Kurt was happy to see that. It was still weird though, seeing the guy who bullied you, stole your first kiss, threatened your life, and then ultimately turned out to be scared and vulnerable and just needed some understanding and compassion, standing in front of you after so many years apart. It didn't bother him though, he actually was glad to see that Dave was apparently doing well for himself. He just wished he had been prepared to see him. Kurt cleared his head and finally found the book he needed.
He took it back downstairs, taking a deep breath, prepared to face Dave again. Maybe this time he'd ask how Dave was doing and try to instigate a conversation.
But, Dave wasn't standing there anymore. Instead it was a mousy looking little girl. He felt irritated, which surprised him. He never thought he'd actually be irritated to not see Dave Karofsky. He slid the book towards her and asked where the other guy had gone.
She said he took a break and would be back in a half hour.
Kurt sighed and took the slip of paper she handed to him.
"Your book is due back in 21 days, Mr. Hummel."
"Thanks."
He put the book in his messenger bag and headed outside. He really had wanted to talk to Dave, but maybe it was better this way. No awkward pauses, no stifled conversation and longing to be anywhere but that current conversation.
Then he saw him.
Dave was sitting on the steps throwing what looked like a hot dog bun to some pigeons.
He wondered if he should go over and say something or just leave and let the past lie where it was. Kurt didn't want to do that, he was curious and he wanted to know how Dave was doing.
So he swallowed the lump in his throat and walked to the steps where Dave was sitting.
Dave didn't look at him, but Kurt knew that Dave was aware of his presence.
"Hey, Kurt."
"Hey, David."
"So, what brings you to NYU?"
"I was looking for a book for my paper on music theory. NYADA didn't have what I needed."
"Oh, well I'm glad you found it."
"And what brings you to New York City, Dave?"
"School. I decided to try to become a sports agent. Someone a while ago told me I should do it."
Kurt felt his chest jump into his throat at the mention of their last real conversation.
"Well, I'm glad you took that advice. How do you like the city?"
"It's alright, I guess. It's a little big, but my job at the library and my classes keep me pretty busy, so I don't really spend a lot of time out in the city."
"Would you like to?"
"What?"
"Spend more time out in the city?"
"I don't know. Never thought about it."
"That's no way to live in Manhattan, Dave. You have to go out, eat the food, go to clubs and bars, and movies, and plays and concerts and enjoy it."
"Well, I would, but I don't really have a lot of friends here, and I'd rather spend my time focusing on school work."
"Well, Rachel and I and her boyfriend Brody, are going to a concert tonight, would you like to come?"
"Kurt, you don't have to invite me to hang out, just because you think I'm pathetic and have no life."
"That's not why I invited you. I hate being the third wheel and besides Brody has an extra ticket."
"What kind of music?"
"Jazz."
"Alright. I'll go listen to jazz with you, as long as you promise me you won't fall in love with me."
Kurt laughed out loud at that and Dave turned and smiled. Kurt could see the twinkling in Dave's eyes, and fuck if that wasn't one of the nicest smiles he had ever seen.
Kurt promised him solemnly that he would not fall in love with David that night.
The night was pretty nice and the concert was not bad. They ended up going out for a late dinner after the concert and Dave and Brody talked about hockey, who made the best Hulk, and who would win a fight a grizzly bear or Bigfoot. Kurt and Rachel sat and watched them in amusement as they talked about their upcoming auditions.
The night ended much to quickly in Kurt's opinion, but he allowed Dave to walk him back to his dorm and thank him for dragging him out of his dorm.
Kurt quickly hugged Dave and shivered as soon as he was in Dave's arms. It was a nice feeling. A very nice feeling and Kurt knew he'd want to hug Dave a lot more after that. But only as friends of course.
Dave left and Kurt realized he had forgotten to say goodnight. So he texted it to him instead.
Three days later, Dave was calling Kurt to hang out a block party a few blocks away. Dave was invited, but he didn't want to go alone, because he didn't know very many people.
Rachel and Brody came long. Dave was Brody's new favorite person and Rachel liked the new Dave. Dave brought Kurt a beer and a veggie burger, and they sat in the shade under an oak tree in the backyard of a random stranger's house and talked about Dave's classes and how much he enjoyed being at school. They talked about the horrible food and how their favorite gyro stand was six blocks away, but totally worth the walk.
They talked about how Dave had really gotten into alternative and indie music the summer before he went to school and he listened to a lot of Mumford and Sons and Wakey! Wakey! and his dream was to go to a music fest sometime in his life that was mainly that sort of music.
Kurt promised he would keep an eye out for concerts or festivals, and talk turned to Lima. Kurt told him about Finn being at Ohio State with Puck and Sam. Sam actually was playing baseball now and he was going to go visit Finn soon and take in an Ohio State game. Dave seemed very impressed by this and Kurt couldn't help but feel proud at making Dave ask so many questions. Unfortunately, he didn't know much about Buckeye football, so he promised he'd have Finn text him the details about the game.
Before they knew it, it was almost five o' clock and Brody and Rachel were going to the Opera that night.
So Kurt invited Dave out for his favorite Pizza at John's Pizzeria, and Dave agreed.
They spent the next hour eating pepperoni and pickle pizza, Kurt's favorite and large Caesar salads. Then Dave was once again walking Kurt home and giving him a quick hug, before heading back to his dorm.
Kurt wanted to invite him in, but didn't want to send the wrong message to Dave. He liked him and he loved hanging out with him, but he wasn't looking for a boyfriend at the moment. He actually had enjoyed being single after Blaine had cheated on him and Adam had graduated. He liked worrying about himself alone.
So, instead he wished Dave a good night and went inside. He couldn't help but wonder though as he tried to sleep that night if Dave would have liked to watch a movie with him.
He didn't talk to or see Dave for five days. Then Rachel was telling him about a concert in Greenwich Village by The Decemberists, so Kurt calls Dave and tells him it's his kind of music. So all four go and it's awesome. Kurt buys two c.d.s and gets them autographed.
He spends another dinner, this time, at a little diner in the village that served the best chili cheese fries known to man, eating off Dave's plate and looking through the album booklets together.
Dave excuses himself and goes to the bathroom. Rachel looks at him with a huge grin. Kurt gets defensive and wants to know why he's staring at her.
She just shakes her head and then laughs. "Dude, you totally look like a married couple. You have a crush on him don't you?"
Kurt blushed and vehemently denied it. "What the hell are you talking about?"
Rachel just grinned wider, "Just admit it, Kurt. You want yourself a piece of Dave Karofsky."
"Shut up, Rachel."
Rachel was still antagonizing him about Dave, when he slid back in.
He looked between the two best friends,
"Do I even want to know?"
"No. She's just being stupid. Anyway, I have to go. I have an early audition tomorrow."
He pushed his way past Dave who looked confused and stormed out the door.
He muttered under his breath as he walked toward the nearest bus stop,
"I don't have a fucking crush on Dave Karofsky."
He ignored the butterflies in his stomach when he said it out loud.
He ignored Dave's texts and phone call for the next week.
And then he realized he had to return the book he had borrowed.
He took it to the library and handed it to Dave.
Dave didn't even bother to smile at him or anything. He just scanned the barcode, thanked him for his delivery of the book and wished him a nice day.
Kurt stood there in shock.
"Did you need something else, Mr. Hummel?"
The little mousy girl was there too and spoke up as she watched Dave and Kurt stare at each other.
"I, uhh, no, I guess not."
Dave turned around and grabbed his phone.
"I'm going on break, Mindy. I'll be back in a half hour."
"Okay."
Kurt watched him walk around the corner and out the door.
He followed quickly behind him.
"What the hell was that for, David?"
David stopped in his tracks and turned around. He looked pissed.
"What do you mean?"
"The Mr. Hummel thing?"
"What do you mean? I was doing my job? Would you rather I call you assface or jerk?"
"What is your problem?"
"My problem? I don't know. You barrel past me a week ago after Rachel apparently said something to you, and you then you ignore my text and phone calls. That's oddly reminiscent of another time you did that to me, so forgive me if I'm not all cheery and upbeat about you deciding once again, I'm not worth your time."
Dave began to walk again.
"Stop, David."
"Why should I?"
"Because, I need to apologize to you."
"Fine, for what?"
"For ignoring your text and calls. You're right Rachel did say something to me, and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I'm sorry. Can we start over?'
"I don't know, Kurt, because I really don't like this whole let's be friends, wait no, I hate you thing" we've got going on. If you want to be my friend, then fucking be my friend and don't treat me like shit, because you feel like you can."
"I know, I'm sorry. Just, give me another chance. I'll prove that you and I can be friends."
"Fine, whatever. We're friends."
"Try not to sound so enthusiastic about it, David."
"I'll try."
Kurt bought him a hotdog and sat with him on the steps again.
Kurt told him about his latest audition and how he thinks he might have a shot at an off Broadway production. Dave promises to come on opening night to see him.
Kurt smiled at the thought of Dave coming to see a musical, but he loved that Dave would do that for their friendship.
Three months later it was opening night of a very, very off Broadway production of Cabaret, and true to his word, David was sitting in the audience with Rachel and Brody.
Kurt lost himself in the production and was overjoyed to get a standing ovation at the end.
It was exhilarating and awesome and he loved every minute of it. He especially loved the gigantic bouquet that Brody, Rachel, and Dave had bought for him, and he totally didn't spend one fraction of a second pretending they were from Dave alone.
Then one of the local borough papers was there to interview him. The man was still asking questions when Dave, Rachel, and Brody walked up. Dave smiled at Kurt, who smiled back. It was nice to have his three best friends there. He almost stopped in his tracks when he realized it was true, Dave had become his best friend in the span of five months. He hadn't expected it, but it was a long time coming he guessed.
The interviewer then looked at Dave and Kurt and asked how long they had been a couple. Dave turned and smiled down at the smarmy reporter and told him they were not boyfriends, and that he was very single. The smarmy reporter smiled back and gave Dave his card and told him to call him.
Kurt saw red. He had gone from being happy and content in one moment to being furious and enraged with jealousy. And while that was not a new feeling per say, it was unexpected and unwarranted in the situation and even though he knew that, he still wanted to rip off the reporter's head and shove his bouquet of flowers down his throat.
Instead he told the reporter the interview was over and slammed the door in his and Dave's face.
He was still fuming when Rachel entered a few minutes later.
"Want to tell me what that was all about?"
"It was about nothing. I don't want to talk about my personal life."
"What personal life?"
"Shut it, Rachel."
"So, when are you going to admit to yourself that you have a huge crush on David and that the real reason you slammed the door in his face, was because that creepy reporter was hitting on him?"
"I'm not in love with him, stop saying that."
"Who said anything about love?"
"No one, nothing, just stop it, I don't need this confusion right now."
Rachel just looked at him and tipped her head,
"Oh honey, you have got it so bad for that boy and the sad thing is that you don't even realize how much he likes you too. Like really, really, really likes you."
"You don't know that."
"Oh, but I do. It's written all over your faces."
"Rachel, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but he does not feel that way about me. He told me when we first started hanging out that the last thing he wanted was for me to fall in love with him. That does not sound like a guy who is all, "I want, I need you, oh baby oh bay."
Rachel just laughed,
"I think you'd be surprised."
"Yeah, well, the only surprise I can think of is that he tells me he likes me and we start going out and then he dumps me for someone more athletic and more his type."
Rachel just shook her head and handed Kurt his coat.
"I think you're wasting time pining over a guy who would sweep you off your feet in a heartbeat and never let you go."
"Thanks for the input, Rachel, but I'd rather not risk losing his friendship."
Kurt stared in the mirror after Rachel left. He asked himself what his true feelings were for Dave.
He knew, but he didn't want to say. He had a crush on Dave Karofsky. A huge fucking crush. As he let those words sink in his mind he could a blush starting to form over his face.
Yeah, this was really bad news, because crushes for him were never short things and they almost always led to him falling in love and that would be breaking the number one rule Dave had put in place when they became reacquainted five months ago.
So he did the only thing he could think of, he called up Adam his ex, and ended up having sex with him in the coatroom of Adams' workplace.
Kurt felt disgusting and horrible afterwards and it still didn't diminish his feelings for Dave, so he invited Adam home with him and tried to forget about Dave or anything that had to do with him.
Adam became involved in Kurt's life again and Kurt slowly started finding himself desensitized to seeing Dave. Adam started hanging out with him and Rachel and Brody and Dave. Kurt tried valiantly to keep up his deal with David.
Then David came to him and asked him the proper way to flirt. He had met a really cute musician at one of his concerts and he had spent the whole night flirting with Dave, and he really liked him, but he felt he was bad. So Kurt gave him some lessons and all the feelings he had ever had for him came roaring back.
He couldn't do anything about it though, and with a heavy heart he told Dave his flirting was just fine and to go get his man. Then Dave invited Mac to join them for dinner one night. Mac wasn't a musician like the one Dave had claimed. He was the pianist at NYADA and he had stumbled into NYU's library also looking for a music theory book. He was tall and thin and was pretty, if you liked that sort of thing. He seemed to eat up every word Dave said. Kurt watched him like a hawk and grew to hate him.
They said goodnight and after getting in a stupid argument about school with Adam, he ended up sitting on the steps of the library by himself. He hated feeling like a jerk for using Adam, for being in love with his best friend who didn't feel the same way, and for hating a guy he had met once for actually going for it with the guy who didn't want him.
He went home and tried to sleep, but all he could see was Dave kissing Mac as they left the restaurant.
He finally got up, made some tea and worked on writing some music.
That weekend Mac had invited everyone to Martha's Vineyard for the weekend. His parents owned a lake house. So they all drove up together in Mac's Jeep and Brody's Suv. Mac and Dave rode together and Kurt was forced to ride along in Brody's car listening to Rachel sing "Memories" over and over to Brody. He wanted to kill himself. He also wanted to know what was going on in Mac's jeep.
The arrived on a Friday evening, after a delicious clambake and a bonfire on the beach, Kurt decided to go for a walk. Dave found him a few minutes later.
"Hey, I was looking for you."
"Me? What for?"
"Nothing, I just feel like we haven't talked recently. How are things going for you?"
"Fine. School is school and I'm ready to audition for another play."
"That's awesome, Kurt. Let me know when it is and Mac and I will try to be there."
"Great."
Kurt couldn't help the bitterness that seeped out of his voice.
Mac and Dave were a package deal now. So that sucked.
"Do you not want me to come?"
"No, it's just that I feel like you and Mac are always together, and I just feel like I've lost my best friend." He left the part out where he was in love with Dave and wanted nothing more than to be with him for eternity, because that would probably not go over so well.
Dave didn't say anything back to him so Kurt kept walking.
Dave finally caught up to him,
"Did you mean that?"
"Mean what?" For a minute Kurt thought he might have actually said that last part out loud.
"That I'm your best friend?"
"Yeah, I mean we spent six months together doing everything together. I sort of thought you were my best friend outside of Rachel."
"I had no idea you thought we were that close."
Kurt felt his heart drop. So, not only was Dave never going to be in love with him, he was going to tell him they weren't best friends and he was going to break up with him as a friend.
Kurt braced for the impact of the words, instead though Dave hugged him tightly.
"I'm glad you think of me as your best friend, Kurt. I've thought it for a while too, but I didn't want to be presumptuous and think you thought of me the same way."
Kurt sighed and snuggled into Dave's warm chest. For a second, okay, maybe (totally) a minute he let himself imagine that he was hugging his boyfriend on a beach staring at a beautiful sunset. Dave finally let him go and turned back toward the house.
"I'm glad we had this talk, Kurt. And I promise you and I will have dinner when we get back into the city and you can tell me all about Adam and how annoying he is again. And this time I won't roll my eyes and mutter that you at least have a boyfriend."
Kurt winced as the words sliced through him. He hated his life, and he hated Adam and stupid fucking Mac, and even Dave a little bit. Actually, he just hated himself for not even attempting to tell Dave how he felt.
The weekend was the longest of Kurt's life and by the time he left, he never wanted to spend another minute in the presence of Mac and Dave again. If they weren't making out, they were tickling each other and making Kurt uncomfortable. He had been so close a few times to telling Mac and Dave to get a fucking room, but he was there on Mac's dime and he didn't want to piss Dave off.
He suffered in silence for another month, and then it was time for him to perform in a production of Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. He was the youngest son. He was so excited, because his mom had watched that movie with him when he was a little boy. His excitement turned to sadness when he saw that Dave had brought the entire contingent of Rachel, Brody, Mac, and Adam.
And then he saw Mac and Dave kissing in the audience and it broke his heart. It went from sadness to anger, and he used that energy and fuel to aid his performance. When it was over and the last bow had been taken he went to his dressing room and refused to come out. He threw the flowers in the trash and when he emerged he ignored Dave and Mac and told Adam he wanted to go to a bar and get wasted.
At the bar, Adam finally broached the subject and asked him how long until he just admitted he wanted Dave and that it was over for them? Kurt smiled and said right now. They hugged goodbye and he went back to his apartment.
They were there looking concerned as Kurt came in.
Mac was the first to speak, "Kurt we're really concerned about you. What happened back there? You really had Dave and Rachel worried."
The condescension dripped from his voice and all the anger that had been coursing through Kurt before, unleashed like a river.
"Really? You don't fucking care about me. The only reason you're here right now is because you're fucking Dave. I see right through your phony act of being the perfect gentleman and friend to everyone. I know you're type. You forget that I went to NYADA too. I know your type. You're the type to sleep with anything/anyone that moves and when you get tired of Dave, you'll drop him without a second look and not give a shit, because you've found someone else to play with. You don't actually care about him. And how do I know this? Because I fucking am in love with him and the last thing I'd ever do on purpose it hurt him. But you really think it's been fucking easy for me to watch you paw each other and act like fucking newlyweds in front of me? No. So that's why I left, because even though I asked him to come alone tonight, he invited all of you. So, it sucks okay? To know that even though I'm in love with my best friend, he doesn't even value our friendship and that's why I left. Now if you'd all fucking leave, I'd like to go to bed."
He didn't even look at Dave as he ushered everyone out. He slammed the door after everyone left and slid to the floor. Well he had fucked everything up.
