APOLLO JUSTICE ACE ATTORNEY
TURNABOUT CIRCLEJERK
one day apollo justice was in his office of de justice and co law office it used to be wright anything agency but apollo took over becaus phenix move to kurain kingdom. he turn on tv and watch news
"RAFFLE OF AMERICA!" said the tv
"huh wats this" said apolo
spark brushel came on tv and point at scren
"welcom to RAFFLE OF AMERICA!" he shout "will YOU be de luck winner who wins trip to america?!"
"i thoght we live in america" said apollo
"no apollo we live in JAPANIFORNIA GAWD get it rite!" he shout "now anyway "spin da weel" end quote" scrub brushel and he SPAN THE WEEL OPF JAPANIFORNIA CITIZENS
WHEEEEEEEELLLLLL
AND DEN IT STOP!
ON APOLLO JUSTICE NAME!
"COOOOOOOOONGRAAAAAAAAAAAAATULAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATIONS!" shout toothbrush and then apolls was SUCKED INTO TV!
apollo woke up inside the tv
"congrats end quote" smile brushel
"YAHHH" scream apollo and scary teet
"now her are tikkets to america" brushel gave apollo two ticks to america "now BEGONE"
brushel wave hand and apollo was SUCKED INTO JAPANIFORNIA!
"wow that was wird" said apollo "o well lets go atena"
so apollo and athena went to los japangeles docks where they boated to america
"welcome to america" said the boat and it land in dire docks
"wow polly lets look around" said athena and they look arond america
"wow" said apollo as they looked around america jail "so this is where they put bad fucks"
"lol huh" said athena as she found a hole in wall
there was room behind wall
"that must be where prisoners try to escap from prison" said apollo "stupid dumasses"
"HEY YOU!" shout a guy behind "YOUR GARBAJ!"
"WAT" shout apollo "im not garbage!"
"no your not garbage your garbAJ! GAWD!"
"lmao m8 they the same"
"no reed text again skrub" said man
"OH GARBAJ!" siad atena
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ITS HITLER CYKES!" shout man run away
"wats rong wit him" said pollo
"no idea" siad atena
they got room at hotel
"wonder if there anything on tv" said atena
she turn on tv and there was stupid kid tv show called jimmy finds adam where jimmy must find adam in hide and seek a game created by barrylawn in 1375
"EW shitty kids shit" shout athena and she turn it off
just then they heard loud crashing noise
"WTF was that" shout apollo looking outside but nothing was there
"oh well theres nothing there"
they went to bed
but when apollo wake up
THERE WAS MURDER GUY ON ATENAS BED
"I DIDNT KILL HIM" shout atena
"too bad" said detective donald trump and he arrest atena for murder
apollo look around de dank hotel for evidank
he find a gun with gonerprints
"hmm crap welp better go trial" said apolo
AT TRIAL
"cort is in session" said udgey
"im redy your honor" said apollo
"ITS UDGEY JUSTLESS!" shout GODOT?! "HAV A DOWNGODOT!"
BOOM!
"sorry" said apollo
"ok call witness" said udgey
"i call detective trump to stand" said upgodot
trump came stand
"name and job" said godot
"donald trump ace detective" said trump
"testify aboot the muder" said godot
WITNESS TESTIMONY
"we fond de victim dankey may dead on hitter cycles bed"
"dat makes her suspcious"
"apollo was only other there so dont accuse him"
"he was kill by dank memes"
"OBJECTION" shout apollo presenting gun "THEN WATS THIS"
"that gun wat about it"
"this was fond on crime seen THIS MUST BE TRUE MURDER WEPON"
"lol no justless you finded that in de garbAJ"
"dammit how you no"
"because!" shout godot "the victim actually kill by DANK MEMES!"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT" shout apollo "(WTF ARE DANK MEMES?!)"
"now i call randle jerk to stand"
the guy came to stand
"i am rounders jerk" said randel "this is wat i saw"
WITNESS TESTIMONY
"i saw cyke hail go into his room"
"OBJECTION" shout apollo "it was HER ROOM"
"lol no you two dont hav room at dank hotel"
"yes we do TAKE THAT" apollo present his room keys "AS YOU CAN SEE THIS KEY IS FOR ROOM 215 WICH IS OUR ROOM"
"OBJECTION" shout godot "ha...! continue witness"
"i saw athena go into room 214"
"FUCK" shout apollo
"she had a gun too"
"OBJECTION" shouted apollo "THE MURDER WEAPON WAS A DANK MEME!"
"OBJECTION" shouted godot "have a look at this justless"
godot gave apollo a paper saying
"im the type of guy who enjoys series as a whole before i came here i didn't know jfa aj and dd were supposed to be bad and oh man am i constantly remembered about it i think you guys clearly lack a vast amount of suspension of disbelief this part of the game is wacky this part of the plot relies on a lucky event this vilain isn't the most perfect vilain ever made and is just someone who killed someone wow BIG FUCKING DEAL
if your willing to play a super serious game go read agatha christie or something if you dont accept that some event could not happen without a fair amount of luck and if you only accept murder plans that would work in absolutely 100% of situations then crime plots would be extremely bland and limited the culprit made an error that is not found out until later in the investigation man who could have thought that the police isn't omniscient
and finally about the vilains... i think you guys just picked the wrong series personally and it is also what my aa fan friends think i believe that you cant seriously be into this game to have 100% perfect murder writing so great that it would work perfectly in real life i play this game for his unique characters wacky and over the top murder plots humoristic moments etc and i believe someone who doesnt accept that ace attorney IS about those things should just stop playing you hated aj and dd i think it's time to stop buying the games before you get in another rage fit when aa6 comes out buddy.
anyway what i mean is it's fine if you dont like some games but sometimes by coming here i seriously think that some of you dont even like 1/3 of the series why the FUCK are you here in a fan community if you can't even enjoy the games you guys should just move to another Then again my rant is not about saying "if you don't like it get out" thats not what im saying at all i dont like some part of the games myself and people out here probably dislike even more my rant is about the fact that you cant accept what ace attorney is actually about or what it is becoming seriously i could point out stupid shit that happened in your favorite cases and you wouldnt even realize how stupid it is because you still liked it
so please stop hating everything that you cant accept."
"wtf is all this" shout apollo washing his eyes
"that is the dank meme that MURDERED DANKEY MAY!" shouted godot
"WAAAAT" shout apollo
"hahaha stupid justless"
"but apollo" said athena "i didnt do it"
"your right which means the meme must be lying! (but how)"
"i call my nextwitness to the stand"
bellboy came to the stand
"name and occupation"
"my name is bell boy" said bell boy
"testify about the crap"
WITNESS TESTIMONY
"i was walking down hall and heard something in room 214"
"he said "lel stepladder m8""
"HOLD IT" shout apollo "but there wasnt a stepladder in room 214"
"DAMMIT" shouted godot "but then whered it go justless"
"its simple they were SMUGGLING IT!"
"WAAAAAT" shout godot
"thats right THE VICTIM DANKEY MAY WAS A SMUGGLING VILLAIN!"
"but how" sadi godot
"look at this dank meme godot it talks about villains and shit which is WHAT THEY ARE!"
"BUT HOW DOS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE VICTIM"
"its his plan"
"WAT"
"the second ting here is the letters jfa aj dd aj and dd." said apollo "lets look at them in order."
"first is jfa which means jimmy finds adam"
"WAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH IT" shouted godot
"jimmy finds adam is a kids tv show that plays at 6:00pm every night"
"SO"
"so wen it turn on we heard noise outside which must have been THE STEPLADDER BEING STOLEN!"
"PHOOOO" spat goot
"but mr justice" said udgey "wat about the rest"
"clearly the aj stands for america jail" said apollo "its the only building near here so THAT MUST HAVE BEEN WHERE IT WAS HIDDEN!" shouted apollo "they then had to go to dire docks to prepare the boat and then they go back to america jail to get the stepladder and bring it back to dire docks TO SMUGGLE IT TO JAPANIFORNIA!"
"ORDER" silenced udgey
"OBJECITON" shouted godot "DIS IS PATETIC WHY WOULD HE SMUGGLE STEPLADDER"
"i think i no why TAKE THAT" yellowed apollo presenting the ladder "HEY GODOT WHATS THIS"
"thats a ladder"
"OBJECTION" shout apollo "its a STEPladder"
"wat" said everyone
apollo slam the desk
"AS YOU CAN SEE THE JAPANIFORNIANS ARE AT WAR OF LADDERS!"
"PHOOOOO" spat godot
"THIS MEANS" shouted godot "that dankey may was a japanifornian smuggling illegal stepladders to battle team ladder"
"i see" said udgey "but theres somthing i still dont understand"
"what is it"
"how did he die"
apollo slammed the desk
"theres only one person who could have killed him"
"who"
"rounders jerk. YOU murdered the victim!"
"waht?!" shouted rounders "YOU DIE NOW!"
"OBJECTION strike that from record please" sadi godot
"ok" said udgey
WITNESS TESTIMONY
"apollo your GARBAJ! it was cykes and i can prove it"
"this is a dank meme that shows athena is leterally hitler cykes"
"AND THE VICTIM WAS MURDER BY DANK MEME!"
"what is this meme" said udgey
"it shows athena is (le)terally hitler wich is a dank meme on r/aceattorneycirclejerk that mustve been the true murder weapon" sadi godot
"why"
"dis is minor trivia but athena is hated guts worldwide" said godot
"i see ok mr justice cross examination plz" said udgey
CROSS EXAMINATION
"apollo your GARBAJ! it was cykes and i can prove it"
"this is a dank meme that shows athena is leterally hitler cykes"
"AND THE VICTIM WAS MURDER BY DANK MEME!"
"OBJECTION" shout apollo "there was gun found in bin"
"i thoght we just proved that he threw it in bin"
"no because i just fingerprinted it and YOUR PRINTS ARE ON THE GUN"
"WHAAAAT" shouted jerk
"why are they there" asked godot
"because he was in the room"
"WHY"
"BECAUSE CLEERLY MAY IS HIS COWORKER CONNECTED TO HIM BY FATE!"
"BUT WHAT ABOUT THE DANK MEME"
"that wasnt the weapon because IF IT WAS THEN EVERYONE SHES EVER MET WOULD BE DIE!"
"AAAAAAAGH" screamed jerk
"OBJECTION" shout godot "then why kill him"
"huh"
"they were coworkers why would he want to kill him"
"NOOOOO"
"HAH i shall be leeving m8" said jerk and he turned around
"OBJECTION" shout apollo "HA i got your evidence!"
"no you dont justless stop bluffing"
"yes i do and it is THE BACK OF HIS SHIRT!"
"WHAT"
"LOOK GODOT IT SAYS "TEAM LADDER" AND THE VICTIM WAS TEAM STEPLADDER!"
"PHOOOO"
"NOOO" shout jerk
"thats right you jerk you murdered the victim BECAUSE OF RAGING WAR IN JAPANIFORNIA!"
there was silence
"well then i"
"OBJECITON" shouted godot "nice try justless"
"wat how you gonna escap this one godot"
"easily YOU HAVENT PROVEN ANYTHING!"
"WHAT"
"HOW DO WE EVEN KNOW THEY WERE SMUGGLING STEPLADDER" he shouted "THERE WAS NO NEW STEPLADDERS ADDED TO ARMY EITHER!"
"yeah your right godot i have nothing to do with it" said jerk
"WAT no!" shouted apollo
"yes" said udgey "i now end trial with guilty verdict"
"NOOOOOO" shouted apollo
udgey banged his gavel
"OBJECTION"
suddenly athena was next to apollo
"WE HAVE PROOF"
"WAT" shouted apollo
"and wats that"
"well we dont have it but ITS THE STEPLADDER WELL JUST FIND IT AND THEN ITS PROOFED"
"WHAAAAAT" shouted apollo
"OBJECTION" shouted godot "nice try but we never found new stepladders in japanifornia"
"oh fuck" sadi athena
"OBJECTION" shouted apollo "the stepladder must exist!"
"no it doesnt justless" said godot "i just proved it"
"WELL THEN ITS NOT IN JAPANIFORNIA!"
"PHOOOO WHAT" shouted godot
"theres only one place it could be!"
"then us justless WHERE IS THE STEPLADDER?!"
"TAKE THAT" shouted apollo "its obviously still in AMERICA JAIL!"
"wat" shouted jerk
"more specifically ITS HIDDEN INSIDE THE WALLS IN SECRET STORAGE ROOM"
"bailiff go look" said udgey
bailiff looked in prison
"we found a dirty stepladder in the walls" said bailiff
"NOOOOOOOOO" shouted jerk as he climbed the ladder to heaven "FUCK YOU APOLLO" he shotued from the top
"well okay this court finds hitler tikes NOT GUILTY"
the trial ended and apollo and athena celebrationed by eating hamburgers
suddenly spark brushel appeared
"ah sir you are on trip to america if you want to eat stuff like the non traditional american hamburgers your going back to japanifornia
POOF
AND THEY WERE BACK AT JUSTICE AND CO LAW OFFICES
"fuck" said apollo
THE END
