A/N: Okay, so this is my first Joe fic, though I've brainstormed with Asterisk78 before. Since this is my first fic, please be as critical as possible- though flames aren't desireable- so that my next fic won't be as OOC, or stupid, or boring, or whatever complaint you might have. This is kind of a more OC centered fic at first, but more Joes show up later, so please be patient- I'm only focused on my OC because you need to know his history to understand the story. In other words, inthese first few chapters any and all action will slow to a crawl... Just as a note, they aren't really on the run from the secret service, they were bored and decide to scare an innocent passer-by to ward of boredom. It gets explained around chapter five or so. Stormy's on the Joe team right now- you can invent your own reasons as to why... (have fun with that) I dont' own G.I. Joe, or Star Wars. I DO own Philip Masterson and Invectus. They're mine... all mine...


Chapter One: Enter, Philip Masterson

-Philip Masterson-

It was just another one of those days when life was going wrong. It happens, you know? You're just walking down the road when trouble runs into you…literally.

"Heads up!" Someone shouted. I glanced up in time to see two guys in ninja outfits jump off of a building. Normal people would freak out, right? I'm not normal, though. More on that later.

These two ninja guys- or who I thought were ninja, maybe they were just insane- landed, rolled to their feet and glanced at each other. The one on the left -or right, from where they stood- wore a mostly white suit with red intermittently splashed around. It was probably supposed to look menacing, but it just reminded me of a candy-cane. Yeah, I'm weird like that.

The other one wore black and possibly a few other colors, but so little that you wouldn't know. He reminded me of a briquette, you know, one of those little charcoal things you stick in barbeques. And he had these really cool shades. I wondered where he'd found them. Of course, my shopping nowadays mostly consists of finding the nearest Goodwill store and hoping they have my size jeans and tees, so even if he'd got them somewhere normal for most people, I probably wouldn't end up there anyway.

"We need a hostage," The candy-cane said to the briquette.

Briquette nodded, apparently the strong, silent type, or something like that.

Candy-cane moved towards me like a dog catcher cornering a stray. Slowly he unsheathed a very large, very intimidating sword. "Don't worry, we just have to hold on to you until we reach our hideout, then we'll kill you," He reassured me.

Wow. Just what I wanted, to be taken captive by killer ninja. I pulled back into what I hoped was a fighting stance. "No."

"Come on, please? If you come quietly, I don't have to knock you out. You look like a nerd, and my head shots could knock a couple hundred IQ points out of your head," He argued. "I don't want to have to do that, but the Secret Service is after us."

Mr. Briquette sighed and dropped his head in his hands.

"Don't act like all of this was my fault!" Candy-cane snapped, turning around to glare at his partner-in-crime. Then, turning back to me, he sheathed the sword. "Come on, kid," He said, "Just do what I say and I won't hurt you."

"You'll just kill me," I shot back.

Candy-cane sighed. Somehow his attitude reminded me of Han Solo, from Star Wars. Cocky with a weary-of-the-world attitude and a definite knack for sarcasm. Oh yeah. And his irritating habit of saying 'kid'.

"Look, kid, I don't want trouble, so either try and resist now and die painfully, or die later with a swift and painless deathblow."

"Wow, what an option," I snorted, glaring at the ninja resembling a peppermint candy. "I think I'll vie for option three- the one where I run away."

"I'm not going to let you just walk away," Candy-cane shot back.

"That's implying you can touch me," I snapped, relaxing and letting the strength of Invectus take over.

"All right, that's it! I hate cocky kids!" He snarled. "Come on, Snake Eyes!"

Briquette-the-ninja stepped back, gesturing at me as if to say "one of us could take him. Go ahead."

Candy-cane came at me and I moved out of the way- speed and reflexes in top performance. He kept swinging, and I kept dodging. I caught him in the ribs with a gentle kick- he flew back fifteen feet before being caught by his kind friend… had he called him 'Snake Eyes'?

"What the… Who are you?!" Candy-cane demanded, staggering to his feet and clutching his ribs. "What kind of freak are you?!"

"The inhuman kind," I retorted, anger bubbling up inside me. When I'd contracted the Invectus virus, it had changed my DNA. See, most viruses enter your body and 'hijack' a cell, using their own DNA to make the cell produce and assemble viruses. The process continues until the cell is so full it explodes and all the viruses are released, free to hijack other cells. Invectus, however, is different. It's the only one in the Symbiovirus classification, which basically means that it's DNA completely combines with your DNA, and it only makes a couple more viruses sending them out of the cell via osmosis, where they can infect the rest of your body.

Invectus disables the distress signals Cells usually send out to warn the immune system, so by the time your white blood cells figure out there's a problem, the virus has already won. When Invectus is done, every single one of your cells contains viral DNA, DNA that makes them stronger, faster and smarter. I never get sick and I barely work out, but I stay completely fit.

Unfortunately, there is one terrible side-effect. When the virus invades your brain cells, it causes them to react differently when faced with Hormones and other chemicals which cause emotions. Because of this, my emotional state is an eternal roller coaster, highs and lows that no medication could fix. Believe me, I've tried. As the months have gone by, I've gotten better at controlling and subduing my emotions. Invectus thrives on the darker emotions; hatred, fear, depression. But slowly I've been coming back, learning how to use this inhuman body of mine.

This attempted kidnapping is a perfect example. Had Invectus, my split personality, the Virus side of me, been in control, I probably would have kicked the red-and-white ninja into the wall at full strength, he would have made a rather large dent in the solid cement, and I might have even walked over and calmly dislocated his shoulder and listen to him scream in pain and smile, knowing I was the stronger of the two.

Fortunately for him, Invectus was not in control. See, Viruses don't show mercy- they can't. After all, a Virus consists of nothing more than a mere strand of DNA and a protein shell. There's not a whole lot of room for extra baggage. Which is why my life became very interesting with emotionless DNA trying to mix with Human DNA- Human DNA, informing the body it's time for adolescence, therefore flooding the brain and the rest of the body with hormones. In a nutshell, it took awhile to learn to control a Virus gone wild on chemical stimulants it'd never felt before.

The good news is that I can usually control Invectus, and so instead of tearing Candy-cane's arms out of their sockets, I'd simply bruised a few ribs- I think. I'm so much stronger it's hard to gauge how much damage I'm actually doing. It gets especially hard when Invectus wants me to kick harder.

As it was, the black-suited ninja glanced at me, helped his buddy up and pulled him down the street in an obvious and tactless retreat. He was running for his life, and he knew it. Even though I should have just left it at that and gone on with my life, I decided not to. Instead, I decided to follow them. Maybe because I was curious as to why the Secret Service was after them, maybe because I recognized the candy-cane ninja from the only episode of 'America's Most Wanted' I'd ever seen. Whatever it was, I headed off in the same direction, keeping my eyes on the two uniquely outfitted ninja.

-Storm Shadow-

Snake Eyes raced down the street, halfway supporting me because of that powerful kick I'd taken to my right side. Glancing behind us, I sighed. "He's still following us, Snake," I muttered. "Why won't he go away?"

Snake shrugged in reply, suddenly breaking off and swerving into yet another alley, reappearing back on the sidewalk and dragging me over the white lines of a crosswalk into the outdoor market on the other side of the street. We tangoed with the customers, waltzed our way around the vendors and jived our way out the other end. Okay, enough with the dance metaphors. Basically, we wound our way in confusing circles and then dashed back over the same crosswalk and headed off in the same direction we'd been going before our little detour. What kind of freak was that kid, anyway? He'd said he was inhuman, but that was probably for dramatic effect. I mean, really. What was he, an extra-terrestrial? A freaky Frankenstein thing? Some human-gorilla hybrid? He wasn't even that hairy!

Needless to say, I figured it was some sort of stunt on his part. Maybe he was an agent for some enemy ninja clan. The Arashikage had been pretty lucky in the lack of secret ninja wars department, but who really knew how long something like that would last?

After a minute I glanced behind us again and barked a laugh. The kid was calmly strolling along the street, bouncing into a couple hip-hop moves, or jogging up to a storefront, watching us in the reflection for a moment before slouching back onto the sidewalk and bouncing his way down the street as though dancing to some invisible music in his head. On top of that, he was keeping pace with us… mainly because we were trying so hard to lose him we weren't going anywhere!!!

"Oh come on!" I snapped. Snake glanced down at me, and I knew we had to figure out something else. "See that tall building?" I said, "We're going in, climbing out of a window and jumping onto that small bakery. From there we drop into the alley and from there, we head home." I said.

Snake gave me a concerned look.

"I'm going to be fine. My ribs are already feeling better," I lied.

Snake shrugged and we dashed into the store and up several dozen flights of stairs…not really, but it sounds dramatic. We took the elevator up and down floors a few times before finally realizing that none of the windows would open and broke one, jumping out. It caused quite a ruckus, and I knew we'd have to get away fast not to draw attention to our window so the kid could observe us flee the scene of the crime. Snake and I checked quickly for any sign of the freak, and, seeing nothing, took off.