Hello :) So I just finished reading the Hunger Games, and I loved it! The first two times I tried reading it, I just couldn't get through it. Third time's the charm, as they say. And, my friend kept telling me how amazing Peeta is, how Gale sucks, all that jazz. Well, of course when I start reading the books, I end up falling for Gale and hating Peeta.
Anyway, back to this story. This is Galeniss, as if you already didn't know. It also involves abuse, so if you're not comfortable with that, then please don't read. This is my first Hunger Games fic, so please bare with it if there's any mistakes, or OOC. Katniss' mother is obviously OOC, but the rest I did my best to keepin in character. So, enough of me talking. Here you go :)
Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games, or its chracters. But I would love to take Gale if Suzanne Collins wants to give him to me :D
"Katniss?" I heard a delicate voice whisper above me, almost silently. I stirred, and opened my eyes to see Prim standing above me; a worried looked etched into her soft face. Blonde, messy hair fell into her eyes, but I could tell they held concern, concern for me. "Are you okay?"
I nodded immediately, not wanting to worry her. She definitely didn't need to, especially not today. Today, she needed to worry about herself more than anything.
I looked around, my eyes quickly adjusting to the dim sunlight that was entering through our one window. Everything was the same as yesterday, and the day before. But I knew today wasn't the same. The air held a feeling that couldn't be described, except for the fact that it came this day, every year.
My gray eyes finally rested on my mother, who was laying in bed aside me, her appendages strewn all around, as if she was fighting before she fell asleep. Of course, I knew she was. One glance at me could tell you that.
"Katniss?" My sister repeated, and I shook my head. I did not want to recollect last night. I needed to focus on the task at hand, today.
I jumped out of bed, slightly sore, and went to look at myself in our cracked mirror, one of our few prized possessions.
My hair was disheveled, usual when I woke up. My eyes looked grayer than usual, but could be passed off as worrying for today, which was partly true. The bruise on my arm could easily be concealed, so no need to worry about that. After giving myself a few more once overs, I finally turned to look at Prim.
She was watching me, carefully, as if I was going to break. Suddenly, tears started to fill her eyes, threatening to spill over.
"Oh, Prim. Come here," I told her, and she didn't need to be told twice. She ran straight into my outstretched arms, and I hugged her, never wanting to let go. Why? I wondered to myself. Why does the Capitol require twelve year olds to participate? Prim is a baby! A fragile flower that would not, could not, hurt anyone, not even if her life depended on it.
I pulled her back, and looked into her eyes, an almost replication of our mother. It hurt to look at her sometimes.
"Prim, you have to listen to me. I want you to be brave today, whatever happens. But you have nothing to worry about. You are one in thousands." I watched her nod, now starting to calm down. My words did nothing to help me, but as long as they worked for her, that's all that mattered.
"But what about you?"
"I have twenty, but there are girls that have a lot more than that. I don't want you to worry about me either," I said. She shook her head.
"That's not what I'm talking about Katniss." She looked down at my bruised arm, and I pulled it back, as if to hide it.
"I'm fine, Prim. This is nothing new, you know that."
She sighed, and looked up at me. "I know it's not, but I hate that she does it. You don't deserve it Katniss, you don't…" She trailed off, her voice breaking, and my heart breaking with it.
"Prim," I said, pulling her face up to look at me. I wiped away a stray tear that had fell down her porcelain face. "Today, you need to worry about the reaping. Not me. Do you understand?" I asked, hoping my attempt at comforting my little sister didn't come out as harsh as it felt.
She nodded, and I kissed her forehead, desperately wishing I could change the world. But I couldn't.
I pulled her out of my arms, and walked towards our dresser, the floor boards of our run down shack creaking in the process. I stopped, and looked towards the bed. I worried my mother would wake up, but quickly shook the thought. I knew she was a heavy sleeper, especially after our fights. I opened my drawer.
"Do you need me to get anything today?" I asked as I pulled on a long sleeve brown shirt, strategically hiding my bruised arm, although it was a little small.
"No, but I do have something for you." I turned, but she was off into another room before I could question her. I sighed, and went over to the mirror to braid my hair. It hadn't been washed in a few days, which was just the way I liked it. But I knew I would have to clean myself today for the reaping.
"Here you go," said Prim. I turned around, and found my sister extending cheese towards me. I shook my head.
"Prim, I can't accept this. You could sell this. That'd be much more useful," I reasoned, even though my mouth was watering at the sight of it.
"It's not for you, it's for Gale. I haven't thanked him lately." She put the cheese in my hands, and I had no choice but to accept it. At least it was for someone who deserved it.
"You'll be okay, right?" I asked her, glancing at our mother, who had started to stir. I knew she'd be up in a few minutes, back to her normal, depressed self.
"I'll be fine, she doesn't hurt me…" Prim whispered sadly, and I very much wished she didn't have to witness our mother hurt me, even if it was only on occasion. She witnessed enough violence in the world.
I kissed her forehead again. "I'll be back here at one to get ready, okay?"
She nodded, and I turned to grab my bow and arrow from the doorway. My eyes met her blue ones, and I gave her a small smile, one that hopefully said everything's going to be okay. She returned the smile, waving me bye.
I waved back, just as our mother started to wake up. My feet carried me out the door, out into the forest, my sanctuary.
I ran behind my house, towards the edge of the district. The wind caressed my face in the most comforting way possible. Nature knew the affect it had on me, and I'm glad it did. Sometimes, I felt Earth was the only thing that understood me.
I climbed over the fence, and into the forest. I jogged out towards mine and Gale's spot, and stopped at our bush. I sat down on our rocks, hidden from view, and looked over the forest. Despite today being Reaping Day, the forest had a way of calming me in a way no human did. This piece of land had seen me at my worst, and given me some of the most important moments of my life.
This was where my father took me hunting for the first time.
This was where I met Gale, the boy that was my rock.
This was where I ran after my mother had hit me for the first time.
I shook my head, desperately wanting to not remember what happened that fateful night. But, as with most things in my life, I found myself hurt, and disappointed, for memories of what happened flooded my vision. I found myself powerless, unable to stop myself from drowning.
"I'm home!" I quietly shouted into our house, making my presence known. One of my arms carried grain, and some meat from the butcher. I traded a dead fox for it. My other arm carried some herbs and spices my mother needed for medicines.
"Hi, Katniss!" I looked up just in time to see Prim jump towards me, and wrapped her arms around me. She looked up at me and smiled, as she always did when I came home from being out all day. Her blonde hair fell in curls around her, bouncing with joy.
I pulled out of her embrace only to empty my arms onto the table, and her face lit up at what I had brought home.
"Meat! We haven't had Butcher Meat in a while," She said, her face glowing. I was glad to see her smile. Ever since her friend was reaped, she was feeling down. Prim's blue eyes had darkened into a blue gray, almost mirroring mine. Her face had grown paler, and her smiles were far and few between. When she smiled, I wanted to remember it.
"You're welcome," I said, grinning. Looking around, I realized something was missing. "Prim, where's Mom?"
She looked up at me, and her smile had vanished. "She's in Dad's room. She has been for the past couple hours," Prim explained, her face becoming more sullen than usual. "Can you get her out, Katniss?"
I looked towards the door leading towards our parent's old room, and nodded. "I'll try Prim, but you know how she is when she gets like this." She mimicked my nod.
I walked towards the room, dreading this as I always did. My mom goes into a depressed state every couple months. She would sometimes cry, longing for my father, whose life was cut drastically short a few years ago. But these last few times, she would just sit silently staring at a paint peeling wall, not saying a word. I preferred the crying.
My hand turned the door knob, and I prepared myself for what I was about to witness. Sure enough, as the door opened, I found my mother in the position that had become almost second nature to her. Curled up in a tight ball, facing the off white wall. I sighed, knowing what would come next. I would sit down beside her, silent for about five minutes. The companionship comforted her slightly. Then, I would gently talk to her, the sound of my voice familiar. Last, I would coax her out of the room, telling her she had to be strong, for Prim. She would then nod, and we would leave the room. My mother then would become her usual self, and would start to make dinner. Little did I know this time would be different.
I sat down next to her, following the pattern. After a few minutes of what was hopefully comforting, but to me was deafening, silence, I spoke.
"Mom? Are you okay?" Nothing. She continued to stare at the wall. "I know you miss Dad, but you have to be strong, for Prim. You know that," I said, repeating the same speech that had become almost engraved in my mind.
Her head turned, and she looked at me. This was a lot quicker than usual, and I hoped I was making progress with her. I was wrong.
Her eyes continued to bore into mine, and it was starting to scare me.
"Mom? Are you okay?" I repeated, hoping to get a response.
"You look so much like your father," She said. I knew this, of course. Anyone who knew my father had told me the same thing. But hearing the way my mother said it chilled me to the bone. Her voice was haunting, as if almost possessed.
I broke the shared gaze between us, and stared at the ground. "I… I brought home meat. Butcher meat. I got it for trading a fox…" I trailed off, hoping this would cheer her up.
"Fox was one of the first things your father ever killed. He would be proud," She replied. She turned back to stare at the wall, as if we hadn't spoken.
I was worried, more so than ever. This wasn't how this usually happened, and it scared me.
Standing up, I hoped cooking dinner for her would snap her out of this. "Mom, I'm going to go cook dinner for us. Okay?" After waiting for a few minutes, I didn't get a response.
I turned to leave, and her hand grabbed my arm, roughly. I looked at her, and didn't recognize my own mother. Her eyes had gone from glazed over to having a wild gleam I had never seen before in my life. This terrified me.
"You can't leave me Katniss. Please, you're all I have left of him," She pleaded with me, her grip getting harder with each word.
"Mom, I… I need to go cook dinner. For Prim. Please, let go," I said, trying to keep my voice steady, but failing. Terror was seeping into my voice with each word I spoke.
"Katniss, stay. You are mine, you are his. You are him," She tugged on my arm, and tried to pull me towards her. I tried to pull away, she was obviously unstable. I understood she missed my dad, but I was not him.
"Mom, please. I am not dad." I pulled back harder, and what happened next I will never forget.
My mother's eyes went completely dark, and she pushed me against the wall, hard. My body slammed into the wall with such a force it caused Prim to come running into the room. The look in her eyes was one I would never forget.
"Katniss… Mom… What happened?" She asked frantically, not sure what to make of the situation in front of her. Why should she know? She was only nine, and most of the violence she had witnessed was through a television screen, never in her own home.
My mom looked down at me, a look of slight remorse on her face. I couldn't tell whether she was out of her trance and realized what she had done or not.
Prim helped me up, and wiped a drop of crimson off my arm. I hadn't even noticed I was bleeding. My eyes sole focus was my mother, what she would do to me, to Prim.
I stood in front of my younger sister, ready to defend her if my mother attacked her as well. She looked at me, a look of hatred suddenly taking the place of the remorse.
She shook her head. "You, Katniss Everdeen, will never be your father." She walked out of the room, not giving me or Prim a second glance. A few moments later, I heard the sound of the stove starting, and I realized she was cooking dinner.
"Katniss?" I looked over at Prim, who looked terrified. She had no idea what happened. I pulled her into my arms, whispering to her that everything was going to be okay. Except I knew it wasn't going to be okay. All I knew was that I had to protect Prim, at all costs.
I heard a rustle in the bushes behind me, and I quickly snapped out of my nightmare. My mind quickly realized who was coming, and I turned away to compose myself.
"Hey, Catnip," said Gale as he set down a bag and his snare, which had caught a brown spotted rabbit, and sat next to me.
I took a deep breath, hoping I looked fine, and turned to face him. "Hi Gale," I said, a smile plastered on my face.
He frowned immediately. "Katniss, what's wrong?" I knew I couldn't fool him that easily. Gale was the only person that knew the real me, and could see through any act. Sometimes, it was a blessing, but at times, like now, it was a curse.
I shook my head. "I'm just worried about today," I answered, knowing this was partly true. "It's her first reaping, Gale. What if…" I didn't have to finish. Gale understood.
He took my hand, thankfully from the not bruised arm, and squeezed it comfortingly. Gale wasn't my boyfriend, but I sometimes wondered if he could be. We both cared about each other, and we'd both protect each other at all costs. One of us just needed to take the next step.
"Catnip, she's one of thousands. The odds are in her favor," he said, trying to reassure me.
"Yes, and so was Jack. But that didn't stop him from being chosen," I replied, and looked at Gale. He closed his eyes, and I knew he was recollecting what happened. One fateful year, a sickly twelve year old, Jack, was chosen. He was one in thousands as well, but that didn't matter. He was sick, and would barely be able to fight, but that didn't matter. What mattered to the Capitol was that they had a tribute for District 12. He had no siblings, and no one volunteered. We all cared, but not enough to sentence ourselves to death.
"Jack was a fluke, Katniss. You know that." Gale opened his eyes, hoping his reasoning would calm me down. It didn't.
"Prim could be a fluke, too," I said.
"Let's drop it, okay? Let's try to make our time together before our yearly dose of hell happy," said Gale harshly.
I turned away, knowing he was right. Fighting over this wouldn't help anything, wouldn't change fate's design.
I heard him rustling through his bag beside me, then something fell onto my lap. I looked over at Gale, who smiled, then down at my lap. A small, round, wrapped object rested on me. It was warm.
A grin flashed across my face.
I tore open the wrapping, and before me laid a small loaf of bread, fresh out of the oven. It took almost all of my control to not rip into the bread right there and eat it.
"Oh, my gosh, Gale! How did you even get this?" I questioned, even though I didn't really care. All I cared about was that I had fresh bread in front of me, something that almost never happened.
His smile grew bigger at my reaction, and I ripped the bread in half and gave him his piece. I bit into the bread, and had to hold in a sigh. It was absolutely heavenly. Rarely did I eat something warm like this. Bread was a luxury people in the Seam rarely enjoyed.
"One of my snares caught a squirrel, and I traded it with the Baker. I guess he was feeling generous today," he said, his tone darkening.
I scoffed. "Aren't we all?"
We both sat in silence for a few moments enjoying our bread, when I suddenly remembered his gift.
"Oh! Prim told me to give this to you, as a thank you." I reached into my bag, and pulled out my own wrapped object.
I handed the cheese to him, glad to have the opportunity to make him smile. Gale's smiles were one of the only things that made me happy anymore.
I watched as he opened his package, and his face lit up. "Cheese! Thank you, Prim," he said. He tore me a piece, then quickly started to eat his own. I watched as he ate it, and thought to myself how lucky I was to have him.
Gale caught me watching him, and smiled.
Suddenly, a stray hair came out of my braid and fell into my face. I reached up to tuck it behind my ear, when I saw the look on Gale's face.
His smile disappeared completely, and was replaced by the dark look that was usually reserved for the reaping and few other occasions.
I followed his eyes, and realized he was looking at my arm. My bruised arm. The sleeve of my shirt must have fallen down, exposing my mother's abuse.
"Katniss," he said. I looked away, ashamed. I usually told him when my mother hurt me, but the past few times I hadn't. I just couldn't bear to show him I was weak enough to be hurt, and I didn't want to bother him with my problems anyway. He had his own to deal with.
I shook my head, trying to stop any tears from falling. I did not want to cry in front of Gale. I'd only cried in front of him twice, once when my father died, though I wasn't friends with him at the time, and the first time I told him of the abuse.
He placed his hand under my chin, pulling my face towards him. The look on his face was one I wouldn't forget either. It was etched with worry, and betrayal. I felt ashamed.
"Katniss, why didn't you tell me she was hurting you again? You know you need to tell me when she does. I can help," he reasoned, but I just shook my head again.
"You can't help me Gale. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but you have bigger things to worry about, especially today," I broke off, wanting to hide myself from the world, from him.
With my words, his face went from betrayed to angry.
"How can you even say I have bigger things to worry about than you? Katniss, you are my number one worry. I don't even care if today is the reaping. When I'm up there today, I won't be hoping I don't get picked. I'll be hoping you don't. I always think about you, not me. You are the most important thing to me, Katniss, so don't ever say you are not worth worrying about, because you are." Gale looked at me, and I realized he meant every single word.
When he realized how harsh he sounded, Gale's face softened. "Here, let me take a look at your arm," he said gently, pulling up the sleeve of my shirt, revealing the discoloration my mother caused the night before. "What'd she do this time?"
I sighed. "Just the usual. She was fine until something I said reminded her of Dad. I don't even know what it was this time. Her face darkened, she made some comment about missing him, and she hit me. Prim was watching the entire time," I explained, happy to at least get last night's event off my chest.
I looked at Gale, who was obviously trying to control his anger. He closed his eyes, and started breathing in and out deeply.
After a few moments, his eyes opened, and I found his gray eyes staring back into my own. "You can't stay with her anymore Katniss. It's not safe for you or Prim," he said desperately, trying to reason with me.
"I can't just leave her Gale, she's my mother. Besides, where would we go?" He looked at me, a look of bewilderment on his face.
"You really have to ask that? You and Prim would come live with me, Catnip. And you'd both be safe."
I shook my head, trying to make him understand. "I can't do that Gale. I won't do that to you or your family. You're already sharing a room with your three siblings. There's no room for me or Prim," I reasoned.
"I can't just sit here and watch you get abused Katniss! And we'll make room, okay? I just need to get you and Prim away from her. Please," he pleaded.
"No, Gale. I can't—"
"She's going to end up killing you!"
I jumped, both his yelling and words startling me. I couldn't believe what he had just said. He actually believed my mother would kill me? She was emotionally unstable, yes. But she would never actually beat me to death. She was in enough control to not do that.
Gale realized the extent of his words, and tried to backtrack. "Katniss, I—"
Suddenly, a bell rang out, echoing through the forest and all of District 12. The bell to let us all know the reaping was in one hour.
I stood up, grabbing my bag. "I have to go, Gale." I turned around, and started to walk away.
He grabbed my hand, trying to stop me. "Catnip, please, I'm sorry. I didn't mean—"
I shook my head. "Yes, you did Gale, or you wouldn't have said it." He didn't bother to stop me as I pulled away from him. "Make sure you wear something pretty to the reaping."
I turned around, and ran through the forest, away from Gale, back to Prim and the woman who had ruined my life, and maybe the only relationship with the boy I loved.
So? Watcha think? Hope it's good. I didn't have time to proofread, as this came out a lot longer than I originally planned to write, so if there's any mistakes, I'm sorry. I'll go back and fix them, don't worry. Also, I need help from you all. I had a story planned out already, and it can still work with this. Thing is, this story kind of took a life of it's own, and I can make all of this work for a completely different story. So, I don't want to give away what I'm planning, but if you had to choose would you rather: Have this be part of the story I originally planned, or have this be a completely different story, and still write the original story seperatly. So basically, one story or two? Your opinion would be a great help! So please, review! I love reviews :)
