Jaime Lannister Investigations – Episode 3

Warnings: Jaime/Cersei-including sex. But *spoiler* no incest. Trust me.

Disclaimer: I, of course, don't own A Song of Ice and Fire or Jaime/Brienne. I'm taking them out for a spin and will return them, safe and sound, although mayhaps a bit dazed and rumpled.

Unbeta'd. All mistakes are my own.

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Previously on Jaime Lannister Investigations:

The door chimes and an elderly man steps into the office. His hair is grey, his nose aquiline, his shoulders broad. He's impeccably dressed and walks tall and proud. He glances from one to the other of them and says, "My name is Jon Arryn and I want to hire you to solve a murder."

Brienne's smile is professional. "Of course," she says. "Who was murdered?"

"Me."

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Teaser

They hurriedly usher Jon Arryn into their board room and send Bronna scurrying for coffee. Jaime shares a glance with Brienne before he looks again at their new client. They sit in tense silence as Bronna brings in the coffee and pours them each a cup.

Jaime watches as Jon adds sugar to his coffee. The man's hands have dark age spots marring their surface, but they still look strong even if they tremble ever so slightly as he pours cream into his cup.

Brienne waits until Jon has taken a sip of coffee and has set his cup down before she speaks.

"What do you mean: you've been murdered?" she asks gently.

Jon's smile does not last long. "I've been feeling under the weather the last several days. I won't bore you with the details but suffice to say it felt like the worst stomach flu it has ever been my misfortune to experience. I finally went to my maester, hoping he would prescribe extra-strength Pymodium and I could return to work." He takes another sip of coffee. He cradles the cup in his palms and stares at it as if he has never seen it or coffee ever before. He finally raises his eyes to look at them. "I have been poisoned," he says, his voice flat. "The Tears of Lys."

Jaime's eyes narrow. "Isn't that a fast-acting poison?"

"Most poisons can be slow-acting if you only administer a little bit at a time," Jon says drily. "At least, that's what my personal maester finished explaining to me about thirty minutes ago."

"Why would he even test you for poison?" Brienne asks.

"Because I asked it of him." Jon sighs. "Although I hoped I was simply sick with the flu…I knew. I knew whatever was wrong wasn't...natural." He suddenly chuckles. "Or mayhaps I should say I have a suspicious mind."

"And dangerous enemies, otherwise you wouldn't have immediately thought of poison," Brienne says.

Jon gives her an approving glance. "True enough, Ms Tarth." He leans back in his chair. "I am, for lack of a better term, Robert Baratheon's business manager."

Jaime and Brienne share a startled glance and Jon nods.

"Joffrey's relationship with Bronna Stokeworth is the reason I immediately thought to come here for your assistance."

"Bronna didn't seem to recognize you," Brienne says slowly.

"With good reason: she's never met me. But that does not mean that I know nothing about her." He gives them a tight, cold smile. "I call myself Robert Baratheon's business manager—but that job title does not fully explain all that I do for the man. He's the most famous man in the world, and one of the wealthiest. He also has no interest in running his affairs—" Jon abruptly chuckles. "Mayhaps I should clarify that he has no interest in running his business affairs. He finds affairs of the heart to be much more interesting and gives those his full attention...for a time, at least." He shakes his head and sighs.

"Mayhaps you should start from the beginning," Jaime says.

Jon takes another sip of coffee and nods. "My apologies. I am usually more...focused than this. Then again, it is not every day you discover you've been murdered." He gives them a distracted smile. "I practically raised Robert Baratheon and his brothers, even before their parents died in that cruise ship accident."

Brienne nods. Everyone knows the story of the Baratheon Brothers, the biggest band to hit Westeros seventeen years before, led by the legendary Big Bobby B in the first of his many comebacks. She'd had Renly Baratheon posters plastered over every inch of her bedroom wall when she was thirteen. She'd cried when the BeeBees disbanded within a year and cried even more when Renly Baratheon came out as gay five or so years later. Not that she ever would have had an actual chance with the man...but still. Girlhood dreams die hard.

"I helped get Big Bobby B where he is today, but it comes at a cost. Keeping him sober, managing his professional appearances, managing his investments. Keeping track of his alimony payments, not to mention all his child support payments!" He shakes his head. "Keeping him from bedding every groupie who flings themselves at him..." Jon sighs. "At least he makes sure they're of legal age first, although that doesn't always prevent angry fathers and husbands and brothers from seeking revenge."

"Not surprising," Jaime says drily. Brienne gives him a warning look and turns back to Jon.

"So you believe someone has targeted you by accident? They were trying to poison Robert Baratheon and you somehow ingested it by mistake?"

"Oh, no—I know I'm the target. Robert is also far too willing to trust the wrong people. With me out of the way, anyone could get worm their way into his good graces and gain control of his fortune."

Jaime frowns. "That seems rather drastic, don't you think? If someone wished to replace you as Big Bobby B's right hand man, there are much easier ways than murder to accomplish that!"

"Mayhaps," Jon agrees, "but there is no other reason I can see for someone to poison me. Outside of the work I do for Robert, I live a quiet life and have no enemies who are not tied in some way to the Baratheon legend and fortune. I'm wealthy but not overly so. My wife has a career of her own—in fact, I believe you've met her. Lysa Arryn of WBO?"

Jaime's eyes widen. "Yes. She interviewed me several weeks ago."

Jon nods. "I remember. Lysa and I have been happily married for many years. We have one son, five years old." He shakes his head. "No one stands to gain much on a personal level if I die. But when it comes to my role as Robert Baratheon's manager..." He shrugs.

"You sound as if you already have a suspect," Jaime says.

"There's only one person I know with a motive," Jon says. "Cersei Baratheon, Robert's third—and current—wife."

Jaime's eyes narrow and he leans back in his chair.

"What motive does she have?" he asks.

"She's a greedy, sadistic bitch," Jon says, his voice cold, "and she's determined to wrest control of Robert's fortune from my hands. There is little love lost between us. Plus..." He glances from Brienne to Jaime and back again. "Everything I tell you is confidential, correct?"

"Completely," Brienne says.

"Cersei and Robert have had a...stormy relationship, to say the least. Unlike Robert's son, Joffrey, they've managed to keep the volatile nature of their marriage from the public."

"Violent?" Jaime asks, his voice tight.

"Yes, from both sides. She once broke his tooth with a beer mug. He recently gave her a black eye. She retaliated with Frey-lax in his mochachino." Jon's smile is bitter. "So she also has experience slipping things into food and beverages without detection."

"That sounds like she has reason to murder Robert Baratheon," Jaime says. "What possible motive does she have to murder you?"

Jon's smile is thin. "There's also a pre-nuptial agreement that gives Cersei a certain percentage of Robert's cash and assets for every child she bears him. But they must be his children."

It takes a moment for Brienne's confused frown to clear.

"They're not—?"

"No, Ms Tarth, they are not. I've just run out of time to prove it."

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