Akatsuki's H O L I D A Y

" Zetsu, what the hell are you doing? I thought I told you NOT to eat the bus driver. Now we are utterly lost and falling off a cliff. "Konan said, irritation written all over her features. " Wait…WHAT? "she said, oblivious to the screaming around her. Then she joined the frenzy of screaming.

"What? He was a plump looking one… "Zetsu muttered, trying to control the bus only by breaking the steering wheel.

"Ooops. " Zetsu said as he threw it out the window.

"I ask for a peaceful week of holiday and THIS I what I get! " Pein screamed, crashing into a pole and fainting. Kisame was gripping Itachi's leg, his knuckles turning white, which was a sight to behold because the fish-man was blue. Itachi himself was wailing like a baby, gripping Sasori's hair which was beginning to fall off. Sasori was trying to connect his chakra strings to the bus to try to keep it from falling, but a jolt of pain would go through his body as Itachi pulled his hair and he lost concentration. Hidan's cussing could be heard all the way in Konoha and Kakuza had wrapping his tentacles around a pole. Kakuza had lost a heart by heart attack. Tobi had successfully cut off some of Deidara's hair [ He was not very happy, FYI ].

Wait, lets re-wind an hour or so to how this happened

Pein was reading the newspaper. He finished an article and held a meeting. He coughed to get everyone's attention.

"We are going to the Sukawaru Ski Resort. " he declared.

Shocked murmurs rippled through the room. Some of these were –

"Why?"

"HOW?"

"NEVER"

"Money…."

"Chakra….cheat? "

"…SASORI-DANNA, UN! "

" …Tobi is a good boy? "

" Yummy chewy people? "

" No excuses! We're leaving now " Pein said. Everyone ran off to pack, except for Zetsu that had nothing to pack.

10 SECONDS LATER

Everyone was lining up to get into the bus, shivering as an icy-old breeze hit them, and then the hail, the a thunderstorm that seemed to follow them wherever they went. Finally they got in the bus after getting nasty, purple bruises and getting freezing-wet. So after 30 minutes on the bus, Zetsu got hungry and decided to maturely eat the bus driver [ -.- ].

So that's how this all happened. Dei Dei losing his hair and everything.. Let's all blame Pein now.

24 hours later, the Akatsuki were somehow at the Sukawaru Ski Resort with only a few broken limbs, bruises, cuts and really really bad wounds. Fortunately, they had Kakuza that sewed all their limbs back on and healed them. The end happy ending yaya WOO!

Not.

Well 24 hours later, the Akatsuki were camping in the forest, eyeing Kisame with greediness. Kisame himself was huddled shivering next to the fire. Zetsu was the first to make a move, pouncing at Kisame, swallowing him whole.

" … " [ Insert really long awkward silence and crackling of the fire here ]

" WHAT THE HELL? I WAS GOING TO EAT SUSHI, UN! " Deidara screamed.

"*BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEP* *BLEEPING* *BLEEP* " Hidan roared.

"I AM LEADER! I SHOULD BE ABLE TO EAT FIRST! " Pein yelled

"HE WAS MY PARTNER! I HAD THE RIGHT TO EAT HIM! " Itachi said in irritation

" …. " Sasori said, his face turning the colour of his hair.

" Whatever. He was tasty " Zetsu said, licking his lips.

I do not own Naruto – Kishimoto does