A/N: I had this story posted once before and I thought it was pretty
good, but now I see that it needed a LOT of work. So I've reworked it
and put myself under a new penname and hopefully you will enjoy reading
this story as much as I liked writing it!
Disclaimer: Don't own it... wish I did, but sadly no...
Summary: Wow, Sirius is no longer a brainless git. Go figure. In his seventh year he falls for a girl named Mia. Problem is, Sirius' novelty has worn off for most girls and they have come to realise that he's really just an insecure boy. Mia can't trust him, so Sirius sets out on a journey to get her! (A/N: Sounds very much like a soap opera, no?) But can a worn down, emotionally distraught boy with an evil family constantly on his back win back the heart of his woman?
Sirius was in love.
Deep love. It was kind of scary. We never thought he'd get serious about girls. I mean, since Sirius has been about thirteen he let his hormones rage and bedded down just about every girl possible. At least half of Hogwarts. We figured he'd go his whole life using girls as pawns.
Who knew that it could change?
Well, it has.
But this year girls have gotten wiser and most of them no longer fling themselves at him. Sure, they all like him still, but only a select few will actually hit on him. I mean they all know that all he'll do is discard them after he gets bored with them.
But it's changed this year. After the fateful incident at lunch when he asked out Mia he hasn't been with anyone. I feel bad really. I mean, I always told him to calm down with girls, but it's the middle of out seventh and last year at Hogwarts and he's looking like he could just die at any moment.
This is definitely not how I planned our last year to be. We were supposed to have fun and have Snape turn into something disgusting and slimy every day. Never in the plan was the part about Sirius falling and love.
How do we know its deep real love? She broke his heart. Yes, shattered it into a million pieces during a lunch period.
So she rejected him, you say. Who cares? He did apparently. Because he did; Sirius was in love. We know something was wrong because all he did was mope around, going to classes, sitting in dark corners, and generally being the kind of person that he makes fun of.
One day during double potions with Slytherins when he didn't pull a prank on Snape when he had a perfect opportunity, we knew he was in...
Deep.
I guess you want to know who I am. I'm James Potter, his best friend (and extremely handsome if I so say so myself! I never thought it would happen that a girl had gotten the best of Sirius Black the Magnificent. Boy was I wrong...
I hate seeing my best friend in such a pathetic position, so I'm on a mission this year- to get her for him. He doesn't seem to notice how worried he's gotten everyone with this moping around. Even our teachers are worried about him.
And who wouldn't be? He's normally very thin, but lately, he's been looking, well, emaciated. His face is drawn and it's really pale. He's even taken to hanging out in the library during meals. I mean, that's just wrong! This whole situation is because she said no.
Can't she see what she's doing to him?
Okay, in all fairness, she does see it, and she feels horrible about it. I mean, Mia is one of the nicest people I know and I know she's feeling very guilty about the situation. But she's not just some mindless girl who only sees him for his looks. But she does like him; don't get me wrong. She just has a problem with his commitment complex. In fact, she thinks he's great.
But more on that later.
She's not popular, not too terribly, but she hangs out with us. By us I mean the Marauders (and lately Lily. Personally, I don't see why Lily wants to be near us. I mean, she hates me, finds Sirius juvenile, and Remus is just her little study buddy. I guess she's just around for Mia's sake, not that I'm complaining or anything. Oh crap... Don't mention that to anyone.)
Mia's a real nice girl, just a bit shy. I can see why Sirius fell for her. Well, let me rephrase that. I can see why any other guy would fall for her.
You see that's what I don't understand. Sirius only goes for the knockout girls who are completely brainless. Which is why I don't understand why he fell for her. Not that I'm saying she's ugly, far from it, she's just pretty, not gorgeous. I'm sounding dumb, aren't I?
Well, this girl's special. She's just different. She's pretty, and bloody brilliant. She and Lily fight each other for top grades, though usually Lily will come out on top. She's really smart and cool, and lots of guys I know really fancy her, but she doesn't seem to notice them. She's not one of those girls that let that kind of thing go to her head. Unfortunately, neither is Lily.
Yeah, forget that too.
Ok, I've tried to explain the people and failed pretty dismally, but let me try to explain the situation. Perhaps I can do a better job of that.
It all started when she came over to sit with our little group at the end of sixth year. It was a special day, because it was the last day of school and it had been free dress. I don't remember exactly what she wore (talk to Sirius, I'm sure he'd remember) but I remember that it was hot! All of her other friends (namely girls) had gone to do whatever girls do and she had decided to come talk to us. I remember our first real conversation. Her first words to us were,
"Hi! Nice to meet you guys. You may already know me, but I'm Mia Wakefield. I'm pretty sure Snape just hit on me. I think you guys need to hex him for me. Man, I'm starved!"
And that was the day Sirius fell in love.
You say, 'why can't it just end there?' Well, it's not that simple. First, I had to suffer through the whole summer of Sirius dreaming about her (I should have never told him he could come to my house). Then, when we got on the train, we all sat through two hours of flirting. I guess I should have warned Sirius at that point.
She's one of those easygoing girls that likes just about everyone (except for Snape, but he's an ugly git, so who can blame her?) and especially loves guys. She's a real tease, but in a good way. Totally self-confidant and flirts with anyone in her path. I guess Sirius took it to heart and saw that as an invitation.
All she said was a simple no, and you could just hear his heart shatter. He got this look on his face. Real pain. It scared me; it scared us all.
Sirius was the fun one who was never sad.
What had happened here?
The news spread like wild fire: a girl had rejected Sirius Black! That was unheard of. Of course, as I have said, girls were leery of him now and they didn't usually initiate anything, but if Sirius Black asked you out you never said no. It was simply not done.
What, she didn't like him?
No. Lily confided in me and Remus (well, mostly Remus. I just "happened" to overhear their conversation.), that in the first year Mia had told her that Sirius was unlike anyone she had ever known and that she would just love to go out with him.
Then why didn't she go out with him?
It's simple. She was a real girl, not one of those dumb ones that Sirius usually hooks up with. She saw him as he really was: an insecure little boy with a need to feel wanted. So when he needed to feel good about himself, he would dump a girl and get a new one. Just to prove he still was in control.
Not that I blame him. He's had a hard life.
Mother a pureblood freak, father an abusive alcoholic. He's stayed with me at my manor over the summer ever since first year. Last summer he was officially disowned from his parents and he moved in full time until he can support himself. My mother would never let him go home, and he loves her for that.
It's very sad.
Sometimes, when he thinks I'm asleep, he cries. Yes, the wondrous Sirius Black cries. And I get angry. At his stupid father for not seeing what a great son he has and his mother for forcing him away from the people he loves, just because they're not "pure".
And now he's reduced to nothing, the mere shell of a wonderful person. I hope for both their sakes that Mia will realise how much he really loves her.
Mia, Mia, Mia.
That's all I can think about. I see her walking down the halls and it breaks my heart. I suppose I did it to myself, making myself into something great. Something that small and insignificant shouldn't have toppled the great Sirius Empire.
I hate this. No, I don't.
I'm so confused. I've been so since she said no. Why?
No other girl can resist me. The one I love doesn't want me. How pathetic of me to be so smitten with the one who rejects me.
How acutely ironic.
I love this feeling, but I hate it. It makes no sense, love. I didn't get it when I was a kid; I guess that's why. That sounds so stupid, like some stupid therapist's way of describing how screwed I am.
I just don't know how to react.
But at least I'm living up to my namesake. Maybe my parents will be happy now, seeing their oldest son, the rebel, finally crushed down by something. Sure, it's not as great as if they had broken my spirit themselves, but it's still a major victory. The only way to make them any happier is to A) kill myself, or B) kill a bunch of innocent Muggle lovers or "mudbloods".
I'm depressed and pathetic, I know. I look like crap and I haven't eaten for... A long time.
I know that people like Snape and Malfoy laugh to see my downfall. Finally, I'm sure they crow, the black sheep (or is it white) of the Black family has been crushed. Finally there has been some justice in the world. Finally, finally...
The Wondrous Sirius is nothing more than a shell. I feel emotionless.
Maybe I am.
I see James, Lily, and Remus looking at me, worried. I am blessed to have these good friends who care. If I had been sorted into Slytherin I surely wouldn't be getting the compassion I have here in Gryffindor. Of course, I probably would be heartless anyway, like the rest of the Slytherins.
My friends are compassionate, yet they don't understand.
Perhaps I am being too overdramatic. I mean, James has been repeatedly denied by Lily. But he wasn't me. He can cope with rejection. I can't.
I can't sleep because I think of her. I was given a potion, but still I tossed and turned with horrible dreams. Mostly I dream about her rejection, but sometimes I see her with another guy. Like Snape.
Oh, the bitter irony of it all.
That one hurts me the most because she doesn't know that I'm really the perfect guy for her and I'd do anything just to get her love. Or even one date, as a start.
But I don't blame her. I can't. Why would any girl with half a brain go out with me? I'm just some shallow guy with a pretty face and a screwed up life.
I want to show her how much it hurts. I just wish there was some way that I could make her understand.
I used to be loud. Hell, I used to laugh. But now I have nothing to talk about.
You know the first thing I thought when she said no? I could throw myself off the Astronomy tower. It would be a quicker death than this. I suppose I'm just pathetic that way. I just have to get over her.
Somehow, I seriously doubt that I can get over her.
Let's face it. I screwed myself over and the one girl I really like hates me.
Isn't life just wonderful?
I'm so screwed up, but deeper down I'm true. I want you. I need you. Please understand that a person can change... And I have.
Can't you see beneath me, Mia?
---
A/N: Aww, sniff poor Sirius! Don't we all just love him? Well, this was basically just a little prologue thingy to get you caught up onto what's going on. The next chapter will be more story-like with dialogue and all that jazz. So please review if you like this. I'm expecting five reviews before I post this up!
Disclaimer: Don't own it... wish I did, but sadly no...
Summary: Wow, Sirius is no longer a brainless git. Go figure. In his seventh year he falls for a girl named Mia. Problem is, Sirius' novelty has worn off for most girls and they have come to realise that he's really just an insecure boy. Mia can't trust him, so Sirius sets out on a journey to get her! (A/N: Sounds very much like a soap opera, no?) But can a worn down, emotionally distraught boy with an evil family constantly on his back win back the heart of his woman?
Sirius was in love.
Deep love. It was kind of scary. We never thought he'd get serious about girls. I mean, since Sirius has been about thirteen he let his hormones rage and bedded down just about every girl possible. At least half of Hogwarts. We figured he'd go his whole life using girls as pawns.
Who knew that it could change?
Well, it has.
But this year girls have gotten wiser and most of them no longer fling themselves at him. Sure, they all like him still, but only a select few will actually hit on him. I mean they all know that all he'll do is discard them after he gets bored with them.
But it's changed this year. After the fateful incident at lunch when he asked out Mia he hasn't been with anyone. I feel bad really. I mean, I always told him to calm down with girls, but it's the middle of out seventh and last year at Hogwarts and he's looking like he could just die at any moment.
This is definitely not how I planned our last year to be. We were supposed to have fun and have Snape turn into something disgusting and slimy every day. Never in the plan was the part about Sirius falling and love.
How do we know its deep real love? She broke his heart. Yes, shattered it into a million pieces during a lunch period.
So she rejected him, you say. Who cares? He did apparently. Because he did; Sirius was in love. We know something was wrong because all he did was mope around, going to classes, sitting in dark corners, and generally being the kind of person that he makes fun of.
One day during double potions with Slytherins when he didn't pull a prank on Snape when he had a perfect opportunity, we knew he was in...
Deep.
I guess you want to know who I am. I'm James Potter, his best friend (and extremely handsome if I so say so myself! I never thought it would happen that a girl had gotten the best of Sirius Black the Magnificent. Boy was I wrong...
I hate seeing my best friend in such a pathetic position, so I'm on a mission this year- to get her for him. He doesn't seem to notice how worried he's gotten everyone with this moping around. Even our teachers are worried about him.
And who wouldn't be? He's normally very thin, but lately, he's been looking, well, emaciated. His face is drawn and it's really pale. He's even taken to hanging out in the library during meals. I mean, that's just wrong! This whole situation is because she said no.
Can't she see what she's doing to him?
Okay, in all fairness, she does see it, and she feels horrible about it. I mean, Mia is one of the nicest people I know and I know she's feeling very guilty about the situation. But she's not just some mindless girl who only sees him for his looks. But she does like him; don't get me wrong. She just has a problem with his commitment complex. In fact, she thinks he's great.
But more on that later.
She's not popular, not too terribly, but she hangs out with us. By us I mean the Marauders (and lately Lily. Personally, I don't see why Lily wants to be near us. I mean, she hates me, finds Sirius juvenile, and Remus is just her little study buddy. I guess she's just around for Mia's sake, not that I'm complaining or anything. Oh crap... Don't mention that to anyone.)
Mia's a real nice girl, just a bit shy. I can see why Sirius fell for her. Well, let me rephrase that. I can see why any other guy would fall for her.
You see that's what I don't understand. Sirius only goes for the knockout girls who are completely brainless. Which is why I don't understand why he fell for her. Not that I'm saying she's ugly, far from it, she's just pretty, not gorgeous. I'm sounding dumb, aren't I?
Well, this girl's special. She's just different. She's pretty, and bloody brilliant. She and Lily fight each other for top grades, though usually Lily will come out on top. She's really smart and cool, and lots of guys I know really fancy her, but she doesn't seem to notice them. She's not one of those girls that let that kind of thing go to her head. Unfortunately, neither is Lily.
Yeah, forget that too.
Ok, I've tried to explain the people and failed pretty dismally, but let me try to explain the situation. Perhaps I can do a better job of that.
It all started when she came over to sit with our little group at the end of sixth year. It was a special day, because it was the last day of school and it had been free dress. I don't remember exactly what she wore (talk to Sirius, I'm sure he'd remember) but I remember that it was hot! All of her other friends (namely girls) had gone to do whatever girls do and she had decided to come talk to us. I remember our first real conversation. Her first words to us were,
"Hi! Nice to meet you guys. You may already know me, but I'm Mia Wakefield. I'm pretty sure Snape just hit on me. I think you guys need to hex him for me. Man, I'm starved!"
And that was the day Sirius fell in love.
You say, 'why can't it just end there?' Well, it's not that simple. First, I had to suffer through the whole summer of Sirius dreaming about her (I should have never told him he could come to my house). Then, when we got on the train, we all sat through two hours of flirting. I guess I should have warned Sirius at that point.
She's one of those easygoing girls that likes just about everyone (except for Snape, but he's an ugly git, so who can blame her?) and especially loves guys. She's a real tease, but in a good way. Totally self-confidant and flirts with anyone in her path. I guess Sirius took it to heart and saw that as an invitation.
All she said was a simple no, and you could just hear his heart shatter. He got this look on his face. Real pain. It scared me; it scared us all.
Sirius was the fun one who was never sad.
What had happened here?
The news spread like wild fire: a girl had rejected Sirius Black! That was unheard of. Of course, as I have said, girls were leery of him now and they didn't usually initiate anything, but if Sirius Black asked you out you never said no. It was simply not done.
What, she didn't like him?
No. Lily confided in me and Remus (well, mostly Remus. I just "happened" to overhear their conversation.), that in the first year Mia had told her that Sirius was unlike anyone she had ever known and that she would just love to go out with him.
Then why didn't she go out with him?
It's simple. She was a real girl, not one of those dumb ones that Sirius usually hooks up with. She saw him as he really was: an insecure little boy with a need to feel wanted. So when he needed to feel good about himself, he would dump a girl and get a new one. Just to prove he still was in control.
Not that I blame him. He's had a hard life.
Mother a pureblood freak, father an abusive alcoholic. He's stayed with me at my manor over the summer ever since first year. Last summer he was officially disowned from his parents and he moved in full time until he can support himself. My mother would never let him go home, and he loves her for that.
It's very sad.
Sometimes, when he thinks I'm asleep, he cries. Yes, the wondrous Sirius Black cries. And I get angry. At his stupid father for not seeing what a great son he has and his mother for forcing him away from the people he loves, just because they're not "pure".
And now he's reduced to nothing, the mere shell of a wonderful person. I hope for both their sakes that Mia will realise how much he really loves her.
Mia, Mia, Mia.
That's all I can think about. I see her walking down the halls and it breaks my heart. I suppose I did it to myself, making myself into something great. Something that small and insignificant shouldn't have toppled the great Sirius Empire.
I hate this. No, I don't.
I'm so confused. I've been so since she said no. Why?
No other girl can resist me. The one I love doesn't want me. How pathetic of me to be so smitten with the one who rejects me.
How acutely ironic.
I love this feeling, but I hate it. It makes no sense, love. I didn't get it when I was a kid; I guess that's why. That sounds so stupid, like some stupid therapist's way of describing how screwed I am.
I just don't know how to react.
But at least I'm living up to my namesake. Maybe my parents will be happy now, seeing their oldest son, the rebel, finally crushed down by something. Sure, it's not as great as if they had broken my spirit themselves, but it's still a major victory. The only way to make them any happier is to A) kill myself, or B) kill a bunch of innocent Muggle lovers or "mudbloods".
I'm depressed and pathetic, I know. I look like crap and I haven't eaten for... A long time.
I know that people like Snape and Malfoy laugh to see my downfall. Finally, I'm sure they crow, the black sheep (or is it white) of the Black family has been crushed. Finally there has been some justice in the world. Finally, finally...
The Wondrous Sirius is nothing more than a shell. I feel emotionless.
Maybe I am.
I see James, Lily, and Remus looking at me, worried. I am blessed to have these good friends who care. If I had been sorted into Slytherin I surely wouldn't be getting the compassion I have here in Gryffindor. Of course, I probably would be heartless anyway, like the rest of the Slytherins.
My friends are compassionate, yet they don't understand.
Perhaps I am being too overdramatic. I mean, James has been repeatedly denied by Lily. But he wasn't me. He can cope with rejection. I can't.
I can't sleep because I think of her. I was given a potion, but still I tossed and turned with horrible dreams. Mostly I dream about her rejection, but sometimes I see her with another guy. Like Snape.
Oh, the bitter irony of it all.
That one hurts me the most because she doesn't know that I'm really the perfect guy for her and I'd do anything just to get her love. Or even one date, as a start.
But I don't blame her. I can't. Why would any girl with half a brain go out with me? I'm just some shallow guy with a pretty face and a screwed up life.
I want to show her how much it hurts. I just wish there was some way that I could make her understand.
I used to be loud. Hell, I used to laugh. But now I have nothing to talk about.
You know the first thing I thought when she said no? I could throw myself off the Astronomy tower. It would be a quicker death than this. I suppose I'm just pathetic that way. I just have to get over her.
Somehow, I seriously doubt that I can get over her.
Let's face it. I screwed myself over and the one girl I really like hates me.
Isn't life just wonderful?
I'm so screwed up, but deeper down I'm true. I want you. I need you. Please understand that a person can change... And I have.
Can't you see beneath me, Mia?
---
A/N: Aww, sniff poor Sirius! Don't we all just love him? Well, this was basically just a little prologue thingy to get you caught up onto what's going on. The next chapter will be more story-like with dialogue and all that jazz. So please review if you like this. I'm expecting five reviews before I post this up!
