Twenty-two year old Ryou Bakura dropped his pencil on the algorithm he was writing to lean back and stretch. He slumped back in his chair, leaning his head back, to look around the apartment. He had bought this apartment several years ago, after he had finished school and started university. Of course, he didn't live alone. Another reason for buying his own place had been so he could live with his beautiful lover, Malik Ishtar (who had chipped in on the cost). Ryou looked around the room fondly. Funny how old times had passed, leaving the memories of the Millennium Items vague and unimportant. This house was filled with memories that were more important, with so many good times he and Malik had spent together. The smile slowly left his lips, as he recalled the unhappy times, the estrangement and fights that had been happening more often lately. Several years ago, he thought they could be together forever, but now…
Ryou stretched one last time, before getting back to work. He had a huge exam coming up soon, and was hoping to get a good grade on it. He worked in silence for several minutes, before he heard the inevitable step behind him.
"Ryou?" Malik asked quietly. Ryou suppressed the urge to sigh.
"It's going great," he answered, for the millionth time that evening. Malik smiled at him, the special smile he reserved only for Ryou, which never failed to make Ryou get all fuzzy inside no matter how he felt otherwise.
"I should hope so," Malik said, coming to stand behind his white haired love. "You spend so much time studying."
Ryou knew that he had to work, but it was so hard to with Malik standing so close to him that he could smell him, and running tanned hands gently through his pale locks. "Maliiiik," he protested softly, "I really have to study…"
The Egyptian leaned down slightly, his breath warm against Ryou's ear. "Can't you study later? Lately it seems that that's all you do."
Ryou pulled Malik's hands away, turning around to confront his lover, who was looking at him in disappointment. "Malik, just because you never study doesn't mean I don't have to! You don't seem to care what kind of grades you get, but I have to think about my future!" For some reason, this conversation seemed very familiar. "Now can you please let me finish studying for this evening?" Ryou felt the twinge of guilt he always got when Malik looked aside with that crestfallen expression, like a puppy getting kicked.
"I'm sorry," Malik said unhappily. "I won't bother you anymore." He turned quickly, leaving the room. Ryou couldn't help but feel a guilty relief that maybe now he would finally get his work done.
He worked in blissful silence for about an hour, before he heard soft footsteps once more. Ryou was preparing for another repetition of the previous conversation, but Malik didn't speak, just quietly put a mug of coffee down next to Ryou's books before vanishing. Ryou stared in surprise for a minute, before reaching out to take it. A peace offering. The coffee was perfect, just the way he liked it, with lots of sugar and milk. He wondered if he had made his Malik cry…again. Ryou buried his head in his hands miserably, pushing the notes to the side. Where had they gone wrong?
Malik had always liked attention, why was it suddenly too much for him? Did he truly not have time for his love any more?
But no, it was Malik's fault too, dammit! If he would just wait until after the exams, Ryou would have more time! Besides, why did Malik never study? Didn't he understand that they wouldn't be young forever, they had to earn a living at some point?
Malik was…immature. He didn't like to spend a lot of time studying. He didn't look to the future. He demanded attention. He had awful mood swings, sometimes being wonderfully cheerful, but other times easily reduced to tears by a simple word from Ryou.
Ryou was suffering as much as the Egyptian was. He felt so awful, every time Malik would quietly turn away from him, only to come back later with some little thing; chocolate, coffee, ice cream. Or he would go and make dinner, or clean the house, and be so obvious he was trying his best that it made Ryou want to cry.
Other times, he was hard pressed to control his annoyance at Malik, who could be ridiculously stubborn and infuriating.
All in all, things weren't working out the way it had seemed.
They still loved each other, though, that much was painfully obvious. Malik's kisses still made him go weak at the knees, and Ryou would still sit and stare at him and daydream about the way the light caught in his beautiful blonde hair, how his eyes crinkled when he laughed, the adorable sounds he made when Ryou sucked on his neck. When they lay together after making love, just quietly holding each other, Ryou felt completely content, and always wished the moment would go on forever. The next morning, they would fight again.
The white haired man sometimes wished guiltily that they didn't love each other anymore; then it would be so much easier to do what he was beginning to think must be done.
The conviction grew daily, until finally Ryou decided to end it once and for all. He called Malik into the living room one afternoon, the knowledge of what he was about to do nearly killing him, but knowing he had to go along with it.
Malik seemed to sense that something important was happening, because he had a slightly apprehensive look on his face.
"Malik, there's something I need to tell you," Ryou began, before he could lose his nerve. "I think we need to break up."
The Egyptian looked confused, a hurt fear reflected in his lavender eyes. "What do you mean 'break up'?" he asked slowly, an undercurrent of panic to his voice.
"I think we should stop living together." Ryou forced himself to keep his tone even, to control his arms that desperately itched to pull Malik close and forget all about this awful idea.
"Why?" Malik's voice quivered slightly, and sounded oddly choked. "I love you, Ryou!"
"Malik, I love you too, so much that sometimes I don't believe it," Ryou said earnestly, gripping Malik's shoulders. "But that's why we need to break up." The other opened his mouth to protest, but Ryou cut him off. "Be realistic, Malik. We've both been horribly unhappy lately. I don't know why, but we're not managing anymore."
"We can work it out!" Malik protested, now sounding almost completely frantic. . "I know we can!" His voice died out, as Ryou shook his head.
"Don't you think it hurts me too, to see how I hurt you all the time? Is that all I'm good for, making you cry?" Ryou was nearly pleading, trying to make his love see why this was the best for them both. He ignored Malik's quick denial, continuing relentlessly. "We've tried. Tried for a while. But we don't think on the same wavelength anymore."
"So you're dumping me," Malik said sadly. Ryou nearly saw red for a moment. WHY did Malik always make everything so melodramatic?! Why did he persistently refuse to understand what Ryou was trying to tell him?!
"I'm not dumping you!" He tried hard not to yell, but didn't quite succeed. "Why can't you understand that I just want us both to be happy?! Just grow up a little and be mature for once!" Ryou instantly repented the words as he saw Malik flinch, a broken look he had never seen before flitting across the stricken face. "God, Malik, I'm sorry!" He couldn't help it, and pulled the warm body to him, just wanting to be close to the Egyptian, trying to convey his regret through their very bodies. "Malik, please, talk to me!" he begged, tears coming to his eyes. Malik abruptly seemed to come to some sort of decision, and gently pushed Ryou away with a strange mixture of brokenness and relief on his face. That one gesture seemed to Ryou so final, as if he had created a permanent rift between them. He hadn't wanted that! He wanted them to take some time alone, maybe they could solve the problems somehow.
"You're right," Malik said gently. "I tried to deny it, but you're right." He touched Ryou's face, pulling him close enough to place a soft kiss on the lips he loved so much. Ryou stared in confusion, as Malik turned away then, going towards the door.
"Where are you going?" Surely Malik wasn't going to leave so soon?
Malik didn't answer, but left the house, closing the door quietly. Ryou tore after him, almost angry again. Why did Malik insist on being melodramatic? Why couldn't he stop behaving like some crazy teenager? The man was nearly twenty-three for goodness' sake!
Ryou heard the distinctive roar from Malik's motorcycle, and made straight for his car. He wasn't going to let his Egyptian get away with it, this time! They would part on good terms, he swore to himself. No matter what it took.
He followed Malik, zigzagging through the traffic, until he saw that Malik had stopped on the bridge near Yugi's game shop. He double-parked quickly, ignoring the quizzical looks from passersby and the startled shouted question from Jounouchi, who was with Yugi and Kaiba there too.
Malik waited until Ryou was near, before he leaped easily onto the railing of the bridge and balanced there. Ryou stared, brown eyes widening in horror as he took in the precariousness of Malik's position, and the sad smile on his love's face.
"What are you doing?" he cried, not wanting to believe what his mind told him.
"Saying goodbye," Malik said quietly.
"You can't jump!" Ryou said, cold fear filling his stomach.
"It's the best way," was the implacable answer. "I should have taken the hint long ago, but what you said decided me. Just remember, Ryou, I love you." Ryou immediately leapt forward, trying to catch hold of Malik, but the blonde was already tumbling down. Ryou stared in horrified shock, feeling something within him tear as he leaned over the railing, watching the body hit the water and be dragged under by the current immediately. He hardly noticed the tears in his eyes, or the steady hands of Kaiba and Jounouchi pulling him away from the railing, as he tried to work his mind around the fact that his beautiful Malik was gone, and would never be back.
"I didn't know!" Ryou cried dazedly, desperately trying to make the people around him understand. "I swear, I didn't know he would do that! I didn't…" he sobbed. "I want my Malik back." Ryou whispered pathetically.
The rest of the day was a numb blur for Ryou, as he was led into the game shop, forced to drink something hot, and finally pushed onto a sofa. He stared up at the ceiling, knowing that it was all over, that he would never see his love again. Suddenly there were so many things he wanted to say to him, so many things he wanted to do with him and places he wanted to go with him. Ryou wanted to just hold and be held by him one last time, to share one last kiss. To take back every angry word he ever said. To tell Malik again how much he loved him. All the endless possibilities of what might have been ran through his head, as tears ran silently down his cheeks, and he knew that none of that would ever be.
Why? He cried endlessly in his mind. Had he hurt Malik so badly that he had driven him to suicide? And so easily? Malik had been nearly smiling!
The thoughts spiraled through Ryou's mind in a never ending litany, and he desperately wished he could turn back time, and fix all the squandered opportunities and senseless arguments. Malik, he begged, my Malik, please come back. Just once. Just let me tell you how I love you, one more time, and make you believe it. Hold me just one more time. Malik….
On the other side of the room Yugi, Jou and Kaiba sat, numb from the shock. Every few minutes one would get up and go check on Ryou.
"Poor Ryou," Yugi said, knowing it to be woefully inadequate.
"I can hardly imagine what he must be going through…" Jou said quietly. "We have to tell him it's not his fault. I know that if Shizuka suddenly…." He trailed off, unable to complete the awful thought. Kaiba was silent.
They had phoned the other members of the gang, telling them what had happened, to be met with equal reactions of shock all around. They had all grown to care about Malik as one of their own, how could he be gone suddenly? What possessed him to take his own life in such a way? The police were unsympathetic. Suicide cases in Japan were nothing new. The only way they might find the body would be if it washed up somewhere, but they might never find it.
Anzu had searched for some kind of phone number to tell Malik's siblings he was gone, but there was none to be found.
And through it all, Ryou remained desolate. They kept him at the shop, and tried to stay with him as much as they could. They kept him from drinking, and told him at every opportunity that it wasn't his fault, to which he cried that it was, that Malik had practically said he made the decision because of what Ryou said.
It seemed like a small piece of sunlight had suddenly winked out of their lives.
Three days later, Kaiba was on his way back from a formal dinner. Despite everything, he was the CEO of a company, and could not shirk his responsibilities. The dinner had been boring, and throughout it all, he had only wished to be gone from there. It seemed wrong to be at a dinner when his friends were all in mourning. He stared glumly out the window, as his driver took him quickly through the nearly deserted streets of two AM in Domino.
Suddenly, with a screech of brakes the car stopped, as some teenager ran across the street, clearly startled when he saw the car. Kaiba lurched forward in his seat and the driver cursed soundly, while the teen kept running. Kaiba suddenly jerked upwards as he remembered the brief flash he had seen in the car's headlights –a flash of gold and bronze. "After him!" he yelled to the driver, suddenly burning to know who that was. The car spun around, chasing the fleeing figure. Finally they got close enough, trapping him near a wall, and the car screeched to a stop again as Kaiba leapt out and tackled the teenager to the asphalt. He struggled with him for several moments, before managing to pin him down thoroughly.
Then, in the light from the headlights, he got a good look at his captive.
Pale blonde hair, now mussed, contrasted sharply with dark skin and asphalt. Bright lavender eyes met his in a glare. There was no mistaking the proud features, the earrings, the bracelets.
"Malik," Kaiba breathed in shock. He could see the eyes focused calculatingly, and answered the unspoken thought with a snarl. "Don't bother denying it. I know who you are." Kaiba shook his head. "I saw you jump off the bridge! I thought you were dead! Everybody thinks you are dead!" His glare intensified. "Ryou thinks you are dead! How could you do this, to him of all people?!"
A guilty look crossed Malik's face, and he looked away. Kaiba got up, roughly dragging the Egyptian to his feet. "You're coming with me," he snapped. "And you're going to give us all a good explanation for this!" He shoved Malik into the limousine, none too gently, and told his driver to get to Yugi's.
The Egyptian had said nothing the whole trip, only sat sullenly staring out the window. They arrived at the shop, unnaturally lit in the late night darkness. Kaiba had woken up Yugi, and told him it was urgent. Not surprisingly, Yugi had called Anzu and Jounouchi, who had brought Mai, Shizuka, and Honda, respectively. They were all in Yugi's living room above the shop, with Ryou, when Kaiba walked in dragging Malik by the arm. All protests and questions as to why he had summoned them suddenly died. Nobody dared move or hardly breathe for a minute, until Ryou finally whispered, "Malik, is that you?"
Malik looked uncertain for a minute, but Ryou jumped at him, holding him as close as he possibly could, burying his head in the warm neck and sobbing quietly. Malik's hands found their way hesitantly around Ryou's body, until suddenly Ryou jerked his head up and slapped Malik across the face. The Egyptian stumbled backwards, one hand on his cheek as Ryou advanced on him angrily.
"What were you thinking?" Ryou yelled. "Why did you do that to me? Do you have any idea what you put me through? Where did Kaiba find you?"
"Wandering the streets," Kaiba said wryly.
"How could you do that to me?" Ryou asked, cold fury warring with the relief he felt that Malik wasn't dead. In a sudden change of mood, he pulled the blonde close, whimpering against his neck, "Malik, you're here, you're alive, oh God you scared me so badly…"
"You owe us an explanation," Jou spoke up finally. Malik nodded unhappily, finally speaking. His voice cracked several times, but slowly got clearer.
"I'll tell you," he said in a defeated voice. "I blew it, anyway. However, I suggest we all sit down." Still casting mistrustful looks at him, they all arranged themselves on the sofas while Malik gently pried Ryou off.
"First of all. How old do you think I am?"
"How is that relevant!" Honda spluttered.
"Just answer. Better yet, how old do I look?" Malik retorted quickly.
"You're nearly twenty three," Ryou said.
"But how old do I look!"
"I don't see-"
"Just answer!"
The protests fell silent, as they stared at him. Kaiba abruptly remembered his impression from the car, that they were chasing a teenager. "You look young," he said into the silence. "Like a teenager. Maybe seventeen, eighteen."
"I'm sixteen and three quarters. Approximately."
Jou's snort greeted that remark. "Right."
"You were sixteen during Battle City," Yugi said. "That was seven years ago. That would make you nearly twenty three."
Malik laced his fingers through Ryou's gently, and sighed. "I was still sixteen seven years before Battle City. My sixteenth birthday was about 250 years ago." He looked around at the looks on everybody's faces, the looks that plainly wondered if he were crazy. "I am now about 3233 years old. I am –" he choked on the words, unable to say them out loud.
"That is impossible," Kaiba stated flatly.
Malik leaned forward, an angry expression on his face. "Remember Battle City? Remember what I said then? I said my family had been stuck guarding the tombs for three thousand years. What did you think I meant?" He looked around at them. He had their complete attention, but none had yet understood what he was saying. "That was the curse!" he spat. "We, us, my family. My family is Isis, Rishid, my parents. We were guarding the tomb for three thousand years! That was the curse of the Ishtars' I wanted to be rid of!"
They didn't believe him yet. He knew how to prove it. He pulled a knife out of his boot and stabbed himself right in the heart. Ryou leaped for him, even as he crumpled to the ground, blood gushing out of the wound in his chest. Before the others had barely reacted to the lifeless body, he suddenly gasped and coughed. Ryou cradled his love in his arms, his whole body numb. He barely registered the fact that he had nearly lost Malik again so soon.
"Look," Malik said to Ryou. He pulled up his shirt to show an unscarred, unblemished chest, save for spots of blood. There was no sign of the fatal wound. "It takes me only about ten seconds to come back to life from a clean stab to the heart," he said matter of factly. "Drowning takes a bit longer to revive from."
"Why did you do it?" Ryou asked quietly, running fingers through Malik's hair. "Why did you commit suicide?"
Malik sat up straighter, to lean against Ryou's chest. "Because of what you said. Do you know why it didn't work out between us? Because I act like a teenager. I am a teenager. You're now six years older than me. You've matured. I haven't." He hunched over, trying to hide his face in his lover's chest. "I won't be getting any more mature than this. So, no matter what, we couldn't change anything. And suddenly –" his voice trailed off, before he got control again. "I suddenly understood completely that you, all of you, are going to get old, but I won't. It's happened before, many times, but suddenly…Dammit, Ryou!" Tears were now running down his cheeks as he looked up and the face of his beloved, so young, and yet so much older than him. "Don't you understand? You're all going to die. You're going to get old and die. Ryou, if you live to be 94, then you'll get to wish me Happy Seventeenth Birthday."
"So you do age," Jou commented stupidly from the side.
"I age. Very, very slowly. I grow one year in over two hundred of everybody else's years."
"So you wanted me to think you were dead?" Ryou asked gently. "You wanted me to move on?"
Malik nodded miserably. "It's wrong of me to tie you down. You already saw what happens: you grow older, mature, leaving me behind, until one day you'd wake up and see that the person you spent your life with is so laughably younger than you, and that's never going to change, it's only going to get worse."
"So that's why you never let me get you any birthday presents," Ryou mused, almost laughing to himself at the randomness and irrelevance of the thought.
"But Isis told us that it was passed on through generations," Anzu said.
"Isis lied," Malik answered.
"Why were you cursed like that?" Yugi asked.
"To guard the fucking memories of the Pharaoh," Malik said bitterly. "And turns out, the Millennium Items as well. Why do you think I tried to destroy you in Battle City? I thought that after you got the memories we would all drop dead, turn into dust, never having really lived a full life. But maybe what ended up happening is worse, in some way. We're still alive. And now we don't even know when we'll be dying. All we know is that an Ishtar can kill an Ishtar other than himself. That's how my parents died." He stopped, not daring to voice his petrifying fear that Isis and Rishid would leave him as well, and he would be left alone to live through the years leading up to eternity. Malik leaned away from Ryou's warm chest to look him straight in the eyes. "I have to leave, Ryou." There was no way he could vocalize the horror that threatened him whenever he thought of Ryou as an old man, while he was still young.
"Isn't that stupid?" Ryou pleaded, "if we truly have so little time together, don't you want to make the most of it?" By now the two had practically forgotten about the others, and were speaking exclusively to each other.
"You don't understand!" Malik said. "Let me tell you about a girl I knew once in Egypt. I was eight, or nearly 800. We used to play together, we were great friends. But years passed, and suddenly she was older, she didn't want to hang around with a kid anymore. I was hurt so badly…I went off for a while, sulking, but when I came back I discovered that I had spent a lot longer than I had thought. You see, sometimes I experience time differently…it drags on so much, everything just blurs together until one day I wake up and its twenty years later. Anyway, I suddenly found her married, with a kid. She saw me, and she let me come in to her house, she said I reminded her of someone she… once knew." His voice was strained as he finished. "It doesn't matter, because everybody grows old and dies in the end. Except me."
Ryou was silent, not knowing what to say. It was hard for him to comprehend that Malik, who he thought he knew inside-out, was so different. Hearing Malik talk unhappily about his thousands of years of living was so….surreal. He had an inkling of what his love was feeling, but couldn't really comprehend what it would be like to live for so long. Malik was looking at him with such a forlorn expression, Ryou tried to cheer him up a little. "So, if you're three thousand and are with me, I guess that makes you a pedophile?"
Malik gave him a twisted half-smile, and rewarded Ryou with a hug, whispering a soft 'thank you'. Ryou hugged him back enthusiastically, but soon he could hear Malik murmuring in his ear once again.
"Love, I know this hurts…but I need to leave." Didn't Ryou understand that once he died, Malik would never see him again? Some part of him knew that he would never die, would wander the world for the rest of eternity, would never reach the afterlife.
"You think I'll let you go off like this?" Ryou said emphatically.
"I'm not asking," Malik breathed back. Ryou's heart pounded hard before plummeting, and he knew that he had lost Malik forever, more certainly than if he had died.
"One last night," Ryou said vehemently, clinging to his lover. "Come to the apartment for one last time before you go."
Later that night found them lying against each other in bed, comfortably exhausted. Ryou had his head on Malik's chest, his white hair spilling all over the place while Malik ran his fingers rhythmically over his back.
"Ryou…" Malik said softly, "would you do something for me?"
"Of course!" Ryou answered immediately, lifting his head to look at Malik's face.
"I want you to get married."
"What?" Ryou cried. Malik was regarding him seriously.
"I want you to find a girl and get married, and have kids. And then, I'll come back in say, seven years or so and I can baby-sit them, and-"
"Are you serious?!" Ryou pushed himself up, to look at Malik intensely. Malik sat up stiffly, shifting them until Ryou was in his lap, before linking his hands behind Ryou's back.
"I've never been more serious. I want you to have a family."
"And you're talking about this now of all times?" Ryou indicated their current state.
"Now is as good as any time. Is it not written, 'If not now, then when?'" was the slightly whimsical answer.
Ryou leaned forward, pushing Malik back into a prone position on the bed. "We'll talk about it in the morning, ok?" he said softly. Malik just smiled sadly.
Ryou woke up slowly late the next morning, but the feeling of being alone in bed jolted him awake immediately. He sat bolt upright, looking at the depression where Malik had lain the night before. The house was completely quiet, as Ryou leaped out of bed and ran around, calling Malik's name. Finally, he went back into their room, falling heavily onto the bed. Maybe last night was just a dream, he thought unhappily. Once again, Malik was dead to him. Ryou pushed his face into the pillow, trying to block out the world. He pulled back abruptly when he felt something hard under the pillow, a slight disturbance. He tore the pillow away, to reveal a small gold earring, the polished gold shining brightly in the sunlight. Ryou held the earring close, caressing the gold gently with his fingertips. He wondered if he would ever see Malik again.
