Author's Note: Okay, I did have Something Like Ecstasy as my pen name but I decided I actually don't like that. So I became Panic-Stricken and I probably won't change it again. Here's another Dasey one shot. I really want to write a full-flegded chapter story but I don't have a plot or any time. Maybe some day soon though.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
--
"I'm sorry, Derek."
I pretend I'm not listening.
"I… can't…" Pause, "I just can't do this… anymore."
I continue to look away because I know if I look at her I can't be sure of what I'll do.
"Derek, please, look at me."
I disobey, like always.
"Derek?" She's frustrated now, "God, are you even listening?"
No, I want to quip back at her but I don't. It's easier to just like her break up speech with commentary from me.
"I never wanted us to be like this. I just can't go on pretending I'm fine all the time when I'm not, Derek. It's not me. And you and I is just wishful thinking if we thought we could make it work."
Resisting the urge to snort, I slowly turn to look at her perfect, beautiful face. She's standing there, clearly wanting more from me. But I'm not able to give anymore than I am to receive. I wish I could stop the mean words that are about to come out of my mouth.
"Wishful thinking, huh, Case?" I practically growl, "Because, God forbid, I might actually want to be in a relationship. And with you, no less. What the hell was I thinking? Who would possibly want a relationship with Derek-the-player-Venturi? You've always been so self-righteous, Casey."
She looks taken aback now.
"Well, fuck you, then."
And I want to take back my words.
"Der-Derek… I just-"
"Don't even bother."
"I just don't want to get hurt," She sputters out.
"Already too late for one of us," I smirk though I feel like I'm breaking apart inside.
"I never thought-"
I interrupt with an "Of course."
"I never thought you wanted that since you made it pretty clear you didn't. So don't go blaming your lack of communicating how you really feel on me. I know what I want and it's you. And if you want me too then we will have to try to make it work."
I'm surprised by this and as I open my mouth to speak, Casey covers it with her lips. I give in naturally and press her against my bedroom wall to deepen the kiss. Having the sudden need to feel her, I run my hands over her body, tugging at the hem of her shirt. This is how it's supposed to be, I think.
That is, until she pulls back, panting heavily. She gives a sad smile and I try smiling back for once.
"I'm not sure either one of us is ready for that relationship yet," She says quietly and pushes me away only a little, never breaking eye contact.
"I'm sorry, Derek. We just couldn't work right now." Still smiling sadly, "But don't worry, we will sooner than you think." She squeezes my hand before walking out the door.
But I love you.
With depressed and vengeful thoughts in my head, the only I can clearly make out is; I'm letting her get away that easy. Derek Venturi is not a quitter.
"A lot sooner than you think," I mutter.
