It started in 1995
Right after Sam won that stupid soccer trophy. All Dean really remembered was staring at his brother, wanting the pride, the happiness, the pure unadulterated joy on his face. It was beautiful. It was the moment he realized his feelings.
So when Sam packed up to leave for his precious Standford Dean watched out of the corner of his eye when his brother packed it. He lifts it while Sam's in the bathroom.
He sets it on the nightstand next to every bed he uses.
It's his way of keeping sane its just one of the many. His father doesn't notice until he comes back early from a hunt and caught Dean crying over it.
The next morning it's gone, and so is Dean's father.
It's five days later when John comes back, Dean immediately starts a fight.
He doesn't fight with his father but for this he will.
But John doesn't give in and eventually Dean lets go. He never admits to lugging Sam's favorite sweater, his toothbrush, that damn pen he always used and the one sock that Sam wore the first time they kissed.
John never knew about the other items, Dean learned to keep things to himself.
So now, all those years later he's staring at it again. He's tempted to take it, just...well...because. But then he looks over, and smirks. What's the point in some stupid trophy anyways?
He doesn't need memories or fantasizes anymore. He's got the real thing and despite everything else having Sam makes everything else useless.
