"I'd sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training."

A Moment in His Training

Around the Jedi temple the world was green fields of rolling hills. But inside the dueling courtyard the floor was shifting sands. Master Luke said it was to keep one conscious of their footing, Ben suspected he actually just wanted a little bit of his home on Tatooine with him in his temple. Around the circular area was a number of squat stone seats, for meditation Master Luke said. Ben was sitting on one waiting his turn at sparring, listening to clacking of wood on wood.

Though all the students had their lightsabers on their hips they were only to be ignited when training against the remotes, it was too dangerous to use them for training against each other Master Luke said. Master Luke said a lot of things, but Ben pushed his irritation at that fact aside. He was eager, this was his favorite kind of training. To let go and lash out with the stout wooden poles that took the place of their lightsabers.

Master Luke stood to one side of the arena in his white robes and rough brown cloak, mostly watching, occasionally shouting out a bit of instruction.

"Don't watch your opponents lightsaber, focus on your opponent himself. Feel him through the Force, always look to see your adversaries move," he shouted out. Ben was reaching out too, feeling with the Force. The Force was strong with him and it had already revealed to him the outcome of this bought. The gray green twi'lek girl got her blade between the legs of the shorter human boy, putting him on his rear.

"Very good Ama. Nari, you need to move more. Don't allow your opponent to control the measure of the duel." He said it all with a proud grin that made the envy in Ben slither from the pit of his stomach to constrict his heart. He took a deep breath to banish the serpent.

Then it was his turn. "Ben, Juda." Master Luke called out to them. Ben noticed a look of concern in his masters eyes as they took their places in the center of the arena, but he moved past it. Ben savored weight of the stave in his hands as looked over his opponent. He was a little taller and a lot broader. He had the ruddy red skin common to the mon calamari, but his eyes were a piercing blue that was rare amongst the species. Ben felt Juda's balance through the force, impeccable as one would expect from someone who had grown up navigating three dimensional paths through the ocean of his home planet, and used to the sands of the beaches that made up the planets scarce landscape. A difficult fight but it didn't matter. He would beat him, he was a descendant of the Skywalker line.

They adopted wide stances, weapons at the ready. Ben moved first, getting his opponent within range. The mon calamari boy reacted quickly, catching the blow and turning his point on Ben. He felt the counter coming before the moves were made and was already preparing his own move. He moved around his opponent, he probed with the Force testing his opponent for openings. He felt his opponent doing the same. Their training poles lashed out, cracking against each other with a force that shocked and rattled his wrists.

Ben pushed forward hard, bend as much strength as he could against his opponent. He could feel his pulse rising and sweat beginning to bead on his forehead, a smile spreading on his face as exhilaration spread throughout his heart. Behind him Master Luke called out, "Control Ben, you will win by maintaining calm control not through the strength of your swings."

Ben half turned his head to master, his focus drifting away for just a moment. In that moment his foot slid in the treacherous sands beneath him. The mon calamari boy's focus did not drift and his feet didn't slip. His cane cut through the air with a whoosh. Ben raised his hands not to intercept the blow with his blade, he hadn't the time, but instead to direct the Force against his opponent. Nothing physical made contact but through the Force Ben delivered a hard enough hit to rip the mon calamari boy off his feet. His balance was great enough to keep him from sprawling onto his back, but he still went to his knees as he landed.

Before his opponent had finished falling Ben had regained his footing and was moving on his opponent.

"Ben!" Master Luke called out, but this time Ben didn't hear him, he was already throwing his cut. His opponent raised his staff, but his grip and stance were too weak. The wood was knocked aside and Ben's blow pushed through slapping his opponent hard across the face. In one fluid motion Ben threw a second stronger blow. The wooden stave in his hand broke in two with a terrifyingly loud snap.

At first he thought he'd struck his opponent too hard, but the vibrations through the wood had been wrong for that, the break had come too early and had jerked to a stop more suddenly than he'd intended. He saw the top three feet of his pole turning in the air behind his opponent and he released the bottom foot in his hands to float in front of him.

He followed the ripple in the force that held his staff and turned to see Master Luke approaching him with a terrifying look in his eyes. He felt strong emotions coming from his usually collected master, frustration, anger, regret, perhaps even fear. He realized what he had done then. He had struck an unnecessary blow to hurt his opponent. Worse he had lashed out with the force, using it as a weapon. The first wasn't allowed in training, the second wasn't allowed at all. It wasn't the Jedi way.

Why shouldn't you lash out in defense of yourself? A voice rasped somewhere deep in the back of his mind.

"Master I..." Ben began to defend himself, but by then Master Luke wasn't looking at him anymore. He was kneeling before the mon calamari boy, a large purple bruise already spreading over his skin and one of his gray blue eyes clouding with shades of crimson and violet.

Ben felt the serpent of emotions in his gut crawling up his spine and sending tremors through his limbs. He was being set aside, ignored. He tried to be understanding, his opponent had been hurt, but it still felt wrong to him. He was a descendant of the Skywalker line, even his mistakes warranted more than to be ignored didn't they?

"Ben," Master Luke finally addressed him. "I told you to maintain control. The force is not a weapon to lash out with. It's a tool to be used for knowledge and defense."

"I was defending..." Ben tried to argue back, but under Master Luke's gaze the words died in his throat.

"You need to be better than this Ben," Master Luke said. His eyes were filled with judgment and Ben couldn't stand it.

Master Luke turned away then, leaving Bem standing there with nothing but envy and shame coiled in his stomach and the rasping voice in his mind. It is not the Jedi way to lash out with the force, but in that moment it was the right way.

Ben knew the voice was right.

We all know what a cliché riddled scene this is, but after watching The Last Jedi I still felt it was a scene worth seeing. It's written mostly from Ben's perspective to try and highlight some of his unhealthy views/ideas that get him where he is when we meet him in the films, but I'm a bad writer so it all just comes across as cluncky and unnatural. Oh well, reviews and critiques appreciated. Arigatou Gozaimasu.