1 Scene 1

Elsbett(doing practice fighting): Xena eat your heart out!

Scene 2

Dylan(jogging): you're late for the plot exposition

Tyr: I figured that I would look better to the female demographic if I came to the episode unsweated.

Dylan: So, what's the plot of this episode?

Tyr: We have a chance to make peace between two sides, by taking the bride to her wedding.

Dylan: Wouldn't her ability to adapt to any male she's with cause problems on the ship?

Tyr: You're getting this confused with TNG's "the Perfect Mate"

Dylan: oh

2 Scene 3

Rev: Remember this about Niets: they suck and they can be dangerous.

Dylan: okay

3 Scene 4

Elsabett: hello, I'm Elsbett and I'm an uber bitch, who will insult you all.

Harper: and a pretty one too!

4 Scene 5

Beka: She sucks

Trance: She sucks

Rev: She sucks

Harper: She rules.

Tyr: She hates you, boy

Harper: She still rules.

5 Scene 6

Dylan: Please get Elsbett to stop being an uber-bitch

Tyr: Whatever you say boss.

Scene 7

Tyr: Sabra Pride is da bomb and so are you, but the Jaguar pride sucks as well as your future hubby.

Elsbett: you are inferior

Tyr: no I'm not.

6 Scene 8

Trance: there is a disturbance in the force because of the uber bitch. I'd better go through her things.

Elsbett: Hey! Get outta my stuff

Dylan: Sorry about what Trance did, she just wanted to borrow your hair dryer.

7 Scene 9

Cuckoo Nez Pierce: Gimme Elsbett or you will be destroyed! I'll give you time to think on it.

8 Scene 10

Beka: Hey Cuckoo! Elsbett took over the ship

Cuckoo: Well, with the Andromeda's track record, I don't find that hard to believe.

9 Scene 11

Dylan(in the Maru): Hey! You have a handheld nuke! That's it! You're going back home!

Elsbett: No way!

10 Scene 12

POW! WHAP! POW!

11 Scene 13

Dylan: Isn't that the same wachamacallit used by the Ferengi?

Elsbett: yeah, but it's a modified version.

12 Scene 14

Dylan: Great going, Einstein! You've cut a hole in the ship! Give me that helmet so I can cover the hull breach.

Elsbett: Is that really going to work? Wouldn't using mashed potatoes be better?

Dylan: It worked on MS3K.

Elsbett: alright

Dylan: hull breach fixed. Told you it would work.

Elsbett: Now it's time for me to make you my prisoner.

Dylan: Aw man.

13 Scene 15

Dylan: I didn't know that there was a Trump Tower on this Drift.

Elsbett: I would have booked at the Hemsley next door, but it was full.

Dylan: Elsbett, you're mission sucks. Don't do it.

Elsbett: It does not suck, and I'm gonna do it.

Scene 16

Elsbett: Let's spend the night together

Dylan: huh?

Elsbett: Aside from the fact that I want to kill millions and that I've treated you like crap, is there a reason why we shouldn't?

Dylan: None that I know of.





Scene 17

Beka: The ships that are chasing us might be dummies

Harper: What should we do?

Beka: Go back even though we are not sure that they are dummies

Harper: Sounds good to me.

14 Scene 18

Dylan: Elsbett! You used up all the hot water.

Elsbett(point gun at him): and you stole my lavender body wash!

Scene 19

Cuckoo(bursting in): I know you're in there!

POW! WHAP! POW!

15 Scene 20

Elsbett: Let's blow this joint

Dylan: Ah, the old hole in wall trick

16 Scene 21

(on Maru)

Elsbett: I'm gonna do my mission and you can't stop me, so there!

Dylan: but I got your lavender body wash.

Scene 22

Cuckoo(on view screen): We got you!

Scene 23

Dylan: I know! I'm gonna single-handedly manipulate an entire war!

Elsbett: Yeah, and I'm the Emissary of the prophets.

Dylan: I'm serious. I took a summer course on this at the High Guard Academy.

17 Scene 24

Elsbett: Your plan worked.

Dylan: Ha! In your face!

18 Scene 25

(Back on the Andromeda)

Avatar Rommie: Welcome back

Dylan: Thank

Holo Rommie: Message for you, Dylan. It's marked 'For you eyes only'

Avatar Rommie: But I wanna see it!

Holo Rommie(in her ear): I can let you access the file later.

Avatar Rommie: Okay *leaves*



19 Scene 26

Elsbett(on video message): You plan for me to marry this dude did not suck

Dylan: I told you so!