DISCLAIMER: QAF and its characters are the sole property of Showtime and Cowlip Productions; no copyright infringement is intended.
This story is close to completion, so I thought it was safe to start posting it now. I will be updating it regularly until it is complete; should be 6, 7 chapters in all? Hope you all enjoy it! Thanks to my beta, Boriqua522, not only for looking this over, but for the plot bunny.;)
Palms Hotel & Suites - Long Beach, CA - December 22 - Mid-Evening
"Are you sure that's all it is?" Justin asked worriedly as he paced slowly back and forth on the suite's balcony while he talked on his cell; despite the million-dollar view in front of him, his mind was too preoccupied with what his mother was telling him at the moment to really notice it.
"Yes, Sweetheart, I'm sure," Jennifer replied patiently. "It's just a little colic, that's all. You had it as a baby, too. And...I think he probably misses his daddies. He'll be just fine."
Justin swallowed hard as he looked down at the wallpaper on his phone, displaying one of his favorite photos of Shay. It was taken a few weeks ago, right after he had begun to start crawling a little. He had discovered the mirror in his and Brian's master bedroom then, and had chortled and gurgled with delight when he had caught his reflection in the mirror. His blue eyes had lit up with joy as he proceeded to play peek-a-boo with the 'other baby,' causing Justin to run to retrieve his cellphone to record it for posterity. Brian was always teasing him about how he would soon be running out of storage space on his phone, but he couldn't help it. He knew moments like those would quickly rush away, never to be seen again, and he was determined to record them while he could.
"Are you sure?" he whispered to his mother. "No fever?"
"Not a bit," she assured him. Justin could hear his and Brian's son fussing in the background. "He's just a little cranky," she explained as she held the baby in her arms, the cordless handset propped in the crook of her neck as she lightly jiggled him. "I think he's tired, but fighting going to sleep, just like some other little boy I used to know. I'll rock him in the glider rocker upstairs; that always seems to soothe him. Please try not to worry, Justin. He'll be fine until you and Brian get back. You know how he can get sometimes."
Justin sighed as he nodded. "I know," he told her. "But it's the first time we've ever been away from him." He missed his son so badly. He missed his baby-powder smell, his infectious giggles when he blew raspberries on his stomach, his smile when he looked up mesmerized by the ceiling fan in his nursery, and the soft cooing noises he made in the morning from his crib in the room next to their master bedroom, right after he first woke up. He missed the funny faces he makes whenever he tries to feed him something new that he doesn't like, and he missed the way his chubby, little legs kicked and splashed around in his sink-top bathtub when he gave him a bath. Shay loves to see how much water he can throw into my face, it seems, he thought with a smile. Most of all, though, he missed doing what his mother was about to do - rocking his child to sleep at night as he held him securely in his arms and watched his fine-lashed, golden eyelids slowly flutter closed while he listened to his soft pants of breath before he succumbed to sleep. "I know he's in good hands with you."
He turned around then to peer through the open balcony entryway as he heard the suite's door being opened, observing a sullen-looking Brian returning from his appointment with the head of Seaver Sports Equipment. He watched as Brian promptly ditched his tie and jacket, draping them across the back of a nearby, overstuffed chair, before walking over to pour himself a drink from the portable bar. He grimaced; that was not a good sign.
"Uh, Mom, Brian just got back. I guess I'd better go," he told her regretfully, suddenly feeling like a horrible father, even though he knew he wasn't doing anything wrong. When he had first thought about becoming a father, he never realized what a major guilt trip could be laid upon your shoulders merely by being away from your child, but he was quickly finding out how painful it could be. "Will...Will you give Shay a kiss from me? And from Brian, too?"
"Of course, Honey," she assured him. "Give Brian my best, and I'll see you both tomorrow, then. I hope you trip has been both productive as well as restful for the both of you. I know you needed it."
Justin watched as Brian walked over and dropped his long, lanky body onto the couch with a grunt as he belted back a good amount of his whiskey. He sighed. "Well, I'm done with my commission, and I picked up the check today," he told his mom. "Brian just got back from his pitch to his potential client." He lowered his voice. "But I'm not sure by the look on his face if he was successful or not."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Justin. But at least the two of you were able to get some time alone, though," she pointed out. "I'm sure that had to be a welcome respite. Raising a baby can be a challenge at times, especially for new parents, no matter how much you love them."
Justin knew that only too well. When Brian had agreed to bring a new child - Justin's biological child by a surrogate - into the house, it had been one of the happiest times of his life. The joy, the anticipation, of waiting for their child to be born had been such a happy one as they talked about what to name the baby and how to install a door that led into the adjoining, smaller bedroom next to their master suite that would become their son's nursery. Brian had left all the decorating up to him (within reason - he had told him unequivocally NO cowboy motifs allowed), and he had thrown his heart and soul into the job.
Once Shay had been born eight months ago, however, reality had kicked in, along with several rounds of sleepless nights, no sex, and just plain, hard work as they made sure their child was warm, fed, and loved. For yes, he was definitely loved by both of them. But the strain of caring for a newborn, along with a period of unprecedented client activity at Kinnetik - and Justin's insistence that he take care of Shay personally and not with some stuffy nanny or au pair - had caused a rift in his and his husband's normal routine. They still loved each other deeply; but the intimacy they had shared before was definitely becoming more and more difficult to sustain. When Justin had unexpectedly wound up receiving a lucrative commission from a prestigious Los Angeles area client who was a friend of Brett Keller's, it was too good an opportunity to turn down, since it would provide him with a chance to make his artwork known on the West Coast. And Brian offering to go with him in hopes of wooing the Seaver Sports Equipment account - one he had had his eye on for a long time, ever since they branched out on the East Coast - seemed like a perfect time for them to be alone for a few days and hopefully rekindle their relationship. Still, he missed their child terribly, and there seemed to be something remiss lately between him and Brian; some spark that wasn't quite there.
"Justin? You still there?"
Justin blinked, realizing he had temporarily zoned out. "Yeah, Mom, I'm still here." He brushed his hand through his hair, looking over at Brian who seemed to be staring out into space. "Look, I really need to get going. We'll see you at home tomorrow."
"Okay, be careful," Jennifer told him. "By the way, the weatherman says we're supposed to get some snow tomorrow, so I'm glad you've got the SUV parked at the airport here. Sounds like we're going to have a white Christmas; I remember how you used to fret about where Santa was going to park his sleigh on the roof if there wasn't any."
Justin laughed. "Mom! I was five years old then!" He had to smile, though; truthfully, he still felt like it wasn't really Christmas without snow. Perhaps their being in such a warm climate, along with the fact that he missed his son terribly, accounted for his somewhat melancholy mood at the moment. "Thanks for taking care of Shay, Mom," he told her softly. "I love you. And don't forget to give Shay a kiss from his dads."
"I won't, Honey. Love you, too. See you tomorrow. Bye."
"Bye, Mom."
Justin took a deep breath before he turned around and headed back into the suite. He walked over to pour himself a drink before sitting next to a sullen-looking Brian on the couch. "It didn't go well?" he asked as he nursed his glass in his hand.
"What makes you think that?" Brian replied sarcastically as he gulped down the rest of his whiskey. He slammed the squat glass down onto the coffee table. "Don't I look ecstatic to you?"
"Brian..."
"They laughed, Justin! They fucking ridiculed my boards! Can you believe that? Do you know how long my art department worked on those to get them just right? They were perfect. They were contemporary, fresh, and edgy. They would have made that company a fucking mint. But they were too shallow to see that."
Justin bit back his urge to tell Brian how sorry he was and that if they were that dense they weren't worth his time; that there would be others more deserving coming down the pike. After all, Kinnetik was certainly doing well enough - more than well enough - that Brian really didn't need the account, at least from a financial perspective. But he knew Brian would resent that if he said it aloud, and he would see it as patronizing.
For some time now, Brian had slowly been ceding more and more control of his clients to his close confidantes - Ted and Cynthia, who had been promoted to a junior sales associate position, and a couple other talented advertising executives who had been with Brian since the Ryder days. Except for the rare, stubborn client who insisted on Brian handling their accounts, he didn't actively involve himself much any longer in most accounts, old OR new, other than to offer up guidance and advice when solicited and to oversee all aspects of a smooth acquisition.
But this account was different. Much like the Brown Athletics account had meant to his boss years before, this account had eluded Brian for years despite his best efforts, so his ability to successfully bring it under the Kinnetik advertising umbrella would have been a matter of immense pride to him. The fact that he hadn't been able to succeed, then, must be hurting his ego like crazy, leaving him doubting his ability to dominate the advertising market like he normally did.
So instead of commiserating aloud with his husband, he reached over and took Brian's hand in his. "We have one more night before we have to go back home," he reminded him. "Why don't we go out and grab a bite to eat and come back early?" His voice lowered as he told him, "I promise I'll make you forget all about the Seaver account." He leaned over to playfully nip Brian's lower earlobe where he was particularly sensitive, but rather than receiving the obligatory, customary groan in response or a kiss for his efforts, Brian abruptly stood up instead, almost making Justin fall over onto the couch where he had just been sitting.
"Brian?"
"I'm going out for a while," Brian told him flatly. "Better finish packing; our plane leaves first thing in the morning. I'll print out the boarding passes downstairs. Don't wait up." Without looking back, Brian grabbed his hotel key card and headed toward the door.
Justin stared over at the door as it softly closed behind his husband and sighed. What in the hell had happened to them? Brian never used to resist any sexual overtures on his part. But that was before the baby had been born, and they had had to completely readjust their lives around him. He never regretted for one moment the birth of their son, and deep down he knew Brian felt the same way. But he also longed for the time when they could be alone and rekindle their passion with each other. He and Brian were in the same bed, night after night, but he still missed him. He missed their lovemaking and their closeness. He missed just snuggling with him after they had sex and lying in each other's arms, discussing what had happened that day, no matter how insignificant or small. He missed their slow, leisurely fucks in the shower each morning. Lately Shay was up so early that they could barely take a shower, let alone spend obscenely long amounts of time in one.
Raising his knees to his chest, he wrapped his arms around his body and lightly rocked back and forth, imaging it was Brian's arms around him instead.
Two hours later, Justin finally went to bed, having packed up everything he could except for what he would need in the morning before their early-morning flight, and after checking his emails and watching a little news. With it being so close to the holidays, they would have to leave via limo no later than seven a.m. in order to arrive at LAX in sufficient time to make it through security. He drifted off into slumber, but without Brian there it was a light, restless type of sleep.
It wasn't surprising, then, that he was able to hear the soft click of the suite's main door shortly after one a.m. and the soft shuffle of his husband's footsteps treading into the bedroom, followed by the rustle of clothing as Brian disrobed. His back to his husband, he felt the dip in the bed, just before a muscular arm slid around his waist and a familiar, warm body spooned up against his.
He felt Brian's breath on his neck as he heard him admit simply, "I was a prick earlier." It wasn't quite an out-and-out apology, but it was the closest he knew he would come to getting one. He also knew that Brian somehow realized he hadn't been asleep.
Placing his left hand over his husband's, Justin snuggled deeper into Brian's embrace as a tacit acceptance of his pseudo-apology. He felt a light kiss just below his ear before the two of them drifted off into sleep together.
