1.
With the with the way Zell's tattooed face was smashed against the glass like flattened bread, you would have thought everyone on the train had forgotten Balamb Garden was under threat. At any moment, Sorceress Edea could send a missile and their school would be as burnt as an overcooked S'more. But that didn't seem important to anyone but Squall at the moment. What was important? Stars.
Squall was not that impressed. Stars were a thing that tended to happen as soon as the sun went down. If he missed his great window of opportunity tonight, he was pretty sure there was a good chance he could see them tomorrow.
No one else seemed to share that belief. Now that they were far away from the light pollution of the city, stars seemed to have taken on an entirely new light for them.
Irvine twisted in his seat to get a better look, a bittersweet smile spreading underneath the shadow of his hat. "Selphie would've loved to see this."
Squall suppressed the urge to grumble. Ever since the party divided up, that was all Irvine could talk about. 'Selphie would've loved to see these stars.' 'Selphie would've wanted to ride this train.' 'Selphie would've liked the cushioning in these seats.'
Whatever. If they were all focused on the sky, then at least that meant no one was paying attention to him.
Or so he thought.
Directly across the train, Rinoa uncharacteristically kept herself to the corner of her seat, away from everyone else. Her arms were crossed over each other, packed close to her body, knees facing sideways, posture as stiff as the gel in Zell's hair. The expression she wore was exaggerated, her small, round face scowling off into the distance. Her entire body language read strongly of 'Do not talk to me' and 'Leave me alone or I swear…'
In short, she was copying him.
Overly conscious of being mocked, he untangled his arms and pressed them against his sides. His gloved fists curled against his legs. She did the same, petite hands forming pale balls on her denim skirt. He crossed his arms again and turned to the opposite side. She shifted positions at the same time, mirroring the gesture perfectly.
"Stop that-"
"-Stop that."
His eyes widened briefly, blinked, then stared at her. Were they really playing this game? They were seventeen, not seven. Maybe the train needed to stop at a sandbox to drop Rinoa off.
Without warning, Rinoa crossed over and sat next to him, hands folded behind her back. Her bare shoulder pressed against the leather of his jacket. "Now you know how ridiculous you look when you sulk," she said.
How ridiculous he looked? He said nothing. Instead, he looked ahead and pretended she wasn't smiling in his peripheral vision.
"Why aren't you looking out at the stars?" she asked, tilting her chin towards him.
"What is there for me to look at?" He continued staring ahead at the spot where she had been sitting before. Irvine had a point, the cushions on this train were actually quite nice.
"There's plenty to look at," Rinoa turned and kneeled in the seat, looking out the window. Squall tried to ignore the way her elbow pushed on his shoulder for support. "Catch a falling one and you could even make a wish."
"Wishes are for children," Squall nearly sighed, "Besides, I think I remember making one once. It didn't come true."
She turned her head and stared at him, her brown eyes studying him, then glancing down, then up at him again. "Then I'll make a wish for you. One I know will come true," she looked back out at the sky. Even from the corner of his eye, he could see her face glowing in the moonlight like a burning comet, "One day you'll smile."
2.
Free-floating in space, stars looked as terrifying as they were beautiful. They shined not only white, but also blue, yellow, and red, their numbering so infinite they seemed more like clouds than individual pricks of light. And yet still they were so far away.
When looking at the sky from the ground, he could tell that space was vast. Now that he was lost in its dark matter, he felt he was staring at the face of Hyne. The world they lived in seemed so small, especially when dangling underneath his feet.
Who would lead SeeD when he was gone? What was he even doing here?
Even if those responsibilities had been piled onto him without his consent, he had managed to keep everything together, hadn't he? He was the calm rational one.
And yet he threw on a spacesuit to save Rinoa with no means of them returning to base. Even with Irvine screaming what he already knew; this mission was suicide.
Since when had he allowed his emotions to make decisions instead of his brain? Just what had changed to make him so reckless?
He was beginning to think like her.
But was that really a bad thing?
In his mind he could see Griever in Rinoa's hand, her finger running over the ridges in the ring's design. "Who knows?" she had said, "Maybe I can become like a lion, too."
He needed to get to her. He needed to tell her she already had that courage.
When Rinoa laughed, she laughed so much it made her body tremble. One time she had done it so hard, all the air left her lungs and she hiccuped. When it happened, it made his eyebrow raise, and when she saw it, she smacked his arm with all her pathetic might. Even though she was a pacifist, she wasn't afraid of being angry.
She wasn't afraid to cry, either. When she did, a small pinch would form above her nose and her eyes would get heavy. It made Squall feel like he should do something for her. Maybe hold her, if only he wasn't so much of a coward.
Rinoa was the one with the strength of a lion, all he had was the pride.
When he was little, he had wished for his big sister Ellone to come back. He often wondered where his father was, and how his mother could be in a happier place if that place didn't include him. Eventually, he realized no one was coming to kiss the scratches Seifer caused him by pushing him into the ground. Crying was useless. He figured that if he kept to himself, then no one else would be important. If no one else was important, then there was nothing to be lost.
He wouldn't lose Rinoa. Even if catching her meant nothing without a way to return to safety. In the icy emptiness of space, he would not let her be alone.
Before he met Rinoa, he was content not to wish on stars anymore. Never wishing meant he would never again be disappointed.
Rinoa wished on stars, even if the wishes didn't come true.
3.
Squall was never much for parties, but he did like to breathe, and defeating Ultimecia was like letting go of a breath he hadn't known he had been holding. It was strange not to be under threat, not to be fighting for whatever cause would fatten their paychecks most, or against Sorceresses that could bend time itself to their will, but they deserved this little break. They deserved to celebrate victory. To live as teenagers for once.
He never thought he would say it, but he deserved that, too. "There's a grumpy old man living behind your eyes," Rinoa teased once, "You need to kick him out."
Maybe, at least for one night, he would. Not that he would go out onto the dance floor by himself or anything. There was no need to get that crazy.
It was a good thing that the battery had died on Selphie's camera. If it wasn't, he might have stood there watching Rinoa on the balcony for far too long. Later, when Selphie inevitably sat them all down to watch the disk, there would have been some explaining for him to do, along with cat calls that he could definitely live without. He wanted to keep his relationship with Rinoa as private and personal as he could, but considering what kind of friends they had, he knew that might be difficult. Or impossible.
He returned the camera to Selphie, almost relieved to tell her why his turn with it was over. "That's ok," she said cheerily, "I've got eight more batteries in my dorm."
He told himself he wouldn't sigh. That was something old-man-Squall would do.
Finally free of the camera, he walked to the open doors that led onto the balcony. Rinoa turned to face him, her mouth spreading into a smile. "There's a meteor shower going on," she told him, and as he drew closer he could see she was right. "It's just like I dreamed we'd promised, except," she took his hand by the edge of his fingers and tugged, "You're here."
"I said I would be," he put his arm around her. Showing affection like this no longer seemed so foreign to him. He'd grown fond of the way her head fit on his shoulder, of the soothing heat of her body and her breath whispering across his neck.
"So here we are, watching the stars," Rinoa picked up her head and looked at him, tilting her head expectantly, "What do you think of them now?"
More stars fell, trailing across the glass of her eyes like burning embers. He wondered what he was supposed to tell her, because saying that they were pretty was obvious.
He remembered floating with her in space and thinking the whole universe was chaotic. The reality was that stars were infinite balls of boiling gas, torching entire planets for coming too close. At any moment, an asteroid could fall from the sky and there would be nothing, nothing to say that humankind had ever lived. Still, the universe was amazing.
Who could say why the sun shared its light with the moon, or why the moon fell into orbit and formed the rhythm of the tides? And how did just the right kind of stardust fall to the world for Hyne to give each human breath?
He wanted to explain to Rinoa just what it meant for all the stars to fall into place. To tell her she'd given him the faith that somehow, they always would. He couldn't put it all into words. Instead, he pressed his lips against hers and let her taste just how he felt.
"I got my wish," she whispered as they broke away, putting a finger to his lips.
Softly, she brushed over the line of his mouth from corner to corner, tracing the curve of his smile.
