Cold Feet

Arthur is just about to finally dose off when his phone vibrates. Rather insistently. It's Merlin. and he doesn't know why Merlin would call him when they just said good night in the park only an hour ago. His heart jumps in his chest as he realizes Merlin could be getting cold feet. People do that. Merlin hates ceremonies and parties as much as Arthur loves them, and he has to take a deep breath before answering Merlin's call.

"Merlin?" he asks, not able to keep the tentative questioning out of his voice, and the pause between listening to Merlin breathing and Merlin replying feels like hours.

"Are we doing the right thing?" Merlin asks, Arthur can hear the wince that comes after, and he scowls without meaning to. He sighs rather heavily and begins to reply but Merlin tries to cover it up and starts talking all in a rush, not even pausing for breath.

Merlin rambles on about how his mum won't stop crying (that can't be good, right?) and it's not even the day of the wedding, not to mention the actual wedding, and Gwen and Lancelot's wedding is coming up soon and they won't have nearly all the guests and gifts they deserve because the whole media mess surrounding Arthur and Merlin's wedding, and the little flower girls looked ill and cold at the rehearsal and the whole world will be watching and how everyone will hate them for making those girls walk down the aisle with runny noses, and ohmygod the whole world will be watching and Arthur feels this whole line of thought is ridiculous and irrational and he just wants to punch Merlin or tell him to bloody breath, damn it.

But he doesn't. Mostly because Morgana had warned him not to and that she would know if he did just by looking at him and Merlin at the altar and that she would make a scene when the archbishop asked if there was any reason they should not get married or forever hold their peace. And Morgana causing a scene at their wedding was the last thing he wanted. So he lets Merlin talk himself out, waiting patiently and holding back the need to hold the phone to Percival's ear (the family dog Percival, not the cat in the guard house) so he can see him roll his eyes at Merlin's long-winded freak out. But then Merlin is suddenly quiet and says something that makes his heart jolt into his throat.

"I don't think I can do this, Arthur," Merlin says quietly, sounding miserable. Arthur has to clutch his mobile with both hands in effort not to drop it.

"What?" he manages, hoping, praying he didn't hear Merlin right.

"I-I just don't think I can go through with this."

Arthur sits bolt upright.

"You can," he says, trying his hardest not to sound like he's giving a command to his men in army and really in fact encouraging his fiancé, and fails mostly, but he tries to soften it with: "You really can do this, Merlin. I'm going to be right there with you, remember?" Please don't run away.

Merlin sighs and Arthur can practically hear him rubbing his forehead with his knuckles and pinching his nose as he says: "I know, I know, it's just so big and pompous and somber, and I'm just me and you're the Prince of Wales and I just want to run away for a few years and wait until this all dies down and we can be together, in peace."

So he is thinking of bolting, Arthur thinks. He glances at the clock on the nightstand there is silence for moment before Arthur speaks.

"Well, it's one in the morning and your mother has picked out a splendid dress and tasteful hat to wear tomorrow and those little girls I'm sure have been given enough vitamin C and cold medicine to knock out a horse, and Morgana will hide tissues in her clutch purse if need be."

Merlin huffs into the phone and Arthur can hear him smiling a little.

"And if I'm going to marry the man I love," Arthur continues, "I want the whole world to watch. I don't care about the cameras, Merlin, or whether your voice will shake when you saw your vows, or whether the world finds out that I can't sing to save my life. I just want to marry you the way my family has been getting married for centuries, with all the pomp and tea we can produce."

Merlin giggles a little at that and Arthur begins to breathe easier knowing Merlin isn't thinking about running off for the hills right that second.

"I wish my mum was here," he says, surprising himself, "she'd know how to soothe you."

"I didn't call to be soothed," says Merlin, indignant. "I just couldn't sleep with all that going on in my head."

"Yeah, well my head hurts now, Merlin thanks a lot." Merlin actually does laugh at that and Arthur thinks things might actually be okay tomorrow after all.

"Well, call me when you wake up."

"Okay," says Merlin, softly, and then: "You know, this would be easier if we could just sleep together in the same palace."

Arthur smiles and lays back down, balancing his mobile on his ear so he can lay on his side.

"Yes, well," he says, "Father wants us to look decent tomorrow."

"I always look decent."

"No, you don't."

"Says his Highness."

"Says your mum, Merlin " Arthur says pointedly, "last week."

"Oi! She just doesn't like the way they cut my hair for tomorrow."

" Will you be there tomorrow?" Arthur asks, feeling silly and nervous all at the same time.

"Of course," Merlin says, as if there was no doubt at all a few minutes before, and Arthur can feel relief gushing through his veins.

"I'll call you in the morning, " Merlin says after a minute, and Arthur hums in approval.

"I love you," says Merlin softly, and Arthur thinks hearing those words every day could never get old.

"I love you too," Arthur says and they exchange goodbyes and good nights, and Arthur can't wait to kiss him in the open under the sky standing on the balcony of Buckingham Palace. And he goes to sleep like this, thinking of how many times he can get away with kissing Merlin in front of the whole world without Morgana blushing for them, and he thinks it would be quite a lot.

/The End/