Trying out a new style. Hope you all enjoy.
Damian seemed to fear the night. Well, at least, somewhat. The darkness seemed to wipe away all the security he normally held within himself, but he did not always seek aid. The first time he did, Dick was snoring loudly in his room, dreaming his own private dreams and sprawled out like mud on a rock.
Damian saw the warm arms, the soft breathing, and the potential they held to soothe aches and fears. He slowly walked up to the bed and climbed on. Each step was calculated and silent and there was a desperate acknowledgement that what was needed was the utmost care in this case for he believed most strongly that if he were caught before he made it to his destination, he would be sent back to his room alone, in the darkness, shrouded in fear.
Damian trembled as he picked his way over Dick's sleeping form, pausing only once when Dick arched his back like a cat and Damian was sure he had been detected. But, when the older man collapsed heavily onto the bed, it was obvious he had simply been moving in his sleep. Damian wondered, or hoped perhaps, about the dream and if he was in it. What did Dick dream about?
Damian finally made it up to Dick's head, which was lower than his shoulders on account of his arched neck. Not really sure what to do, he paused for a moment, sitting on his calves, and watched Dick sleep, the way his chest moved ever so gently up and down, the way his muscles flexed and rippled with his dreams. It would be the perfect time to fulfill his purpose and do what his mother had sent him to do in the first place. It would be the perfect time to kill Richard Greyson.
But how could Damian when he both admired and respected the man, when he needed him. Dick made an effort to include him like no one else had. Damian craved the attention so.
Dick's arms opened slightly and Damian saw his chance. Before he could change his mind, he made his way into that opening and snuggled into Dick's body, matching the groves of the other's form as best he could with his own. But, his hopes of escaping exposure were dashed with a bleary statement from Dick. "Damian?"
The boy froze in place, wondering if Dick would simply fall back asleep. But, he needn't have bothered. Dick uncoiled his arms and gazed at Damian, who was illuminated by the pale moonlight. "What's up buddy?" he asked sleepily. Damian started to tremble. This seemed to just awaken Dick even more and the man sat up.
Damian remained lying where he was, waiting to be punished. He gazed up at Dick with none of the resolve and strength he normally carried with him. Dick's face flickered with concern. "What's wrong little one?" he asked. Damian said nothing, he simply trembled and nibbled at his bottom lip.
Dick put a hand on his forehead and the boy flinched. Dick's face showed even more concern. "Are you sick baby bird?" he asked. Damian remained silent. "Here", said Dick, "lets go downstairs and I'll take your temperature." Dick got up off the bed, shaking himself like a wet dog as if to ward off any vestiges of drowsiness, and started out of the room.
When he found Damian still not accompanying him, he glanced back. The boy was in the same place he had been, trembling. Dick walked back over. "Alright", he said with a grunt, "I'll carry you, ok?" Damian said nothing. He simply put his arms around Dick's neck and pressed his chest to the other's, burying his face in the crook of the Dark Knight's neck.
Dick put one hand under Damian to support him and another around his back. Then, he carried him gently down the stairs, barely making a sound, on soft feet. He turned on the light in the kitchen and shifted through the medicine cabinet until he had located the thermometer. He relieved himself of Damian's weight, placing the young boy on the counter, and put his hands on Damian's thighs to keep him from falling.
Dick lowered his head to peer into the boy's eyes. Damian studied the hardwood floors. "Alright kiddo", Dick murmured, "let me put this under your tongue and then you can go back to bed, alright." Damian barely acknowledged that he had heard him, but when Dick gently touched his jaw to open his mouth, he willingly allowed the thermometer to be placed beneath his tongue.
The intensity of Dick's gaze as he waited for the device to do its work was unnerving to Damian and he averted his eyes, gazing pointedly at the counter tiles. The thermometer's beep signaled it's success and Dick gently pulled it from Damian's lips. "Well", said Dick, "if I'm reading this right, you do have a bit of a fever. Are you hurting at all?" Damian said nothing. He did not even acknowledge that he had heard Dick's query.
Dick gave a sigh and picked the boy up. "I'll take you back to bed then. If you're in any pain or it gets any worse, come tell me." The darkness once again closed around them as Dick flipped the kitchen switch and began to ascend the stairs. Damian's arms tightened around his mentor's neck and the young man rubbed his protégé's back. Damian's lack of outrage at this affectionate gesture simply added to Dick's concern.
When he reached Damian's bed, Dick was surprised to find the boy's arms and legs tighten around him as he lowered him. "Would you like to stay with me?" Dick asked gently. Damian's answer was to snuggle his head into Dick's neck. So, Dick returned to his own room and laid Damian on the mattress. He settled down himself next to the boy and turned his back to him.
He had just closed his eyes when felt a warm body push against his back. He could feel the small form trembling. He rolled over and again took Damian's face in his hands. Damian pushed himself foreward until he was pressed to the older man's chest and closed his eyes. The trembling stopped.
Dick, seeming to finally understand what Damian had wanted all along, put his arms tightly around the boy like a shield and held him, safe and secure. When he woke the next morning, Damian was gone.
They spoke naught of the incident during the course of the next day. Dick kept expecting Damian to bring it up, but he was his usual bratty self, not even mentioning his drastic change in personality from the night previously. Dick wondered if he had dreamed up the entire thing.
But, this was not an isolated occurrence by any means. A few nights later, Dick again found Damian curled up close to him in the night, and again, he took him down to the kitchen for a temperature check. Nothing was ever really wrong so, by the third time, when he found himself with a child in his bed, he simply put his arms around the boy and went back to sleep. It was the first contented sigh he had ever heard Damian give.
From then on, two or three times a week, sometimes even four, Damian would crawl into Dick's bed, begging for shelter, and be gone before Dick awoke the next morning.
The Batman tried to watch Damian during the day for signs it would be one of "those nights", but there seemed to be no indicator. Whatever the day held, it was entirely up the night whether or not he would find Damian among his sheets. Whatever secret fears Damian had manifested themselves only in the darkness, and never did he explain what they were to Dick.
The older man wondered if it might be best to confront him on the issue, but decided against it. The boy was obviously uncomfortable with the whole thing, for he spoke no words when he appeared to Dick in the darkness, and Dick didn't want to risk pushing him away by bringing up an awkward topic. He liked the nights he spent with Damian and began to look foreward to them. A routine was quickly established.
Damian would crawl up onto the bed as quietly as he could, never awakening Dick until he had already settled himself. Then, Dick would embrace him and hold him tightly all night. His light breath would push through Damian's soft black hair and his fingers would gently stroke Damian's back.
He'd cover his face in soft, light kisses as if he were made of sugar, pausing every few to stare deeply into his eyes as if trying to discover some all encompassing truth that could be found only within the depths of the gaze of a small, sleepy child.
Sometimes he would whisper things to the boy, quiet little things born of his exhaustion and yet carrying more weight than most anything he said during the day. "Good boy Damian, such a good boy." "Sweet boy Damian, you're so handsome, so smart." "Everything will be alright little Damian" "I'll protect you Damian, I'm here"
And Damian would gaze up at him with adoring eyes, begging to be told these things which he heard at no other time, begging to be told he was accepted and appreciated, begging to be assured of his own worth, the worth he seemed unable to find within himself, despite his manner during the daylight hours.
It was a side to Damian Dick never got to see, a part of him that was always hidden but was driven to the surface by whatever terrors the night held. Dick hoped that perhaps, in time, the gentle, adoring Damian in the night might merge with the bratty, condescending one during the day, but they never seemed to. The Damian that nuzzled Dick's fingers, begging the be petted, and snuggled deep into his embrace to be coddled and fussed over remained as far from the Damian of day as the east was from the west.
Dick was actually lying up in the dark that night, despite the fact that it was rather late. He was deep in thought when he heard quiet footsteps in his room and remained as still as death. He waited for Damian to climb up on the bed to be held, but the boy made no move. He heard the squeak of his bed as Damian sat down on it, but none of the customary creaks and groans of the frame as the boy picked his way up to Dick's embrace at the head.
Dick waited for almost five minutes yet still, Damian made no move. Dick sat up. "Damian", he called softly in the darkness, "come on up little one." He opened his arms, waiting for Damian to crawl into his embrace, but still, there was movement. "Damian".
He peered into the darkness, trying to see Damian more clearly. Then, the moonlight glinted off something. Dick recognized it as a knife. "Damian?" he called questioningly. With almost inhuman speed, Damian leapt up from where he had been sitting and dove at Dick. The knife quivered in the bed frame where Dick's head had been only moments before. "Damian", Dick said, shock adding a quiver to his voice, "Damian, what's going on?" Damian gave a roar and leapt at him again.
Dick played a game of evasion with the boy as Damian and his knife, glinting in the moonlight, darted towards him. Dick tried to plead with him, but Damian was deaf to his cries. There was a mad glint in his eye and a quivering in his form that suggested sinister forces at work. The knife flashed closer and closer. Dick hardly wanted to go on the offensive, but after losing half his pant leg to the cold steel, he decided that whatever was going on needed to stop.
"Damian", he bellowed, "stop this now." Then, he leapt at Damian and grabbed his arms. Damian kicked and struggled, crying out in frustration, but he could not break free. "Stop this right now Damian", Dick roared into his face, "stop it or I'll have to hurt you." Suddenly, Damian froze and went ridged.
Dick gazed at him in confusion for a moment before slowly releasing him. Damian sank to his knees as if he were melting, the knife lying loosely in his hand, and gazed at the floor. He started to sob, a heart wrenching sound that held such a quality of desolation, Dick almost cried himself. Damian's sobs only intensified when Dick gently pulled the knife from his grasp and tossed it into the corner of the room. Then, he knelt in front of the boy, gazing at him.
"Damian", he said softly, "what's going on?"
"I am nothing to you", Damian shrieked, eyes lighting up with the most frightening look of overwhelming sorrow Dick had ever seen. "I am nothing to anyone. I am so lost."
"Damian", Dick said again, reaching out his hand to touch the boy's shoulder, but Damian went ridged and backed away.
"No", he screamed, "do not touch me Dick. Do not even look at me." He buried his face in his hands. "I was made to kill you and I almost did, I almost did. You used to say such things to me and I almost killed you. Mother wanted it all along, mother wanted you dead. I was to be her dagger. I was to destroy you and take my father's place. But, I could not. I could not even do what I was meant to. If I cannot accomplish even that, what can I do?
You were so kind to me, allowing me to be with you, to share your world. But, I never deserved any of it. All along, I had meant to kill you. Every night when I trembled in your bed, I cried because I knew that one day, I would have to destroy you. I was so frightened, so alone, and you brought me in. But, I didn't deserve it, I never have."
"Damian, it's alright", Dick started, but Damian cut him off once again.
"I am broken Richard Grayson. I was conceived for the soul purpose of killing you, for some sick eugenics project. I was conceived of my grandfather's schemes and my mother's lust. Father never wanted me, never wanted her. He was drugged."
"Don't you see Grayson, I am the product of a drug, of a scheme, of a wicked old man's plotting. He was more your father than he was mine, will ever be mine. He loved you. No one loves Damian Wayne. I don't even deserve the name Wayne. I don't even feel human." He fell silent, save for his frantic sobs, which cut through the night like a dagger. Then, Dick moved towards him once more.
Damian stiffened, expecting to be hurt, but the young man surprised him. Dick wrapped his arms tightly around Damian and held him as he wept, allowing the hysterics to pass. And once Damian had grown quiet enough, he once again began to whisper to him. "Sweet boy Damian, you're so handsome, so smart. You're such a good boy Damian. Everything'll be alright, I'll protect you." Damian gazed up at him in wonder.
"You…you believe those things", he asked.
"Ohh yes little one", Dick breathed, gazing deep into Damian's eyes. "I do care about you Damian, so much and I do love you so." He kissed Damian's forehead, rocking him gently as he did. The boy melted into his embrace, quietly relishing in the closeness, in the gentle words that gushed so effortless from Dick.
Finally, when Dick seemed the have nothing left to say that had not previously been uttered, he picked Damian up and crawled back up onto his bed. Damian snuggled into his embrace once Dick had settled himself and gazed up at him with adoring eyes. Dick pushed his hair out of his face and ran a thumb over the boy's soft cheek.
"Ohh Damian", he sighed, "Whatever am I going to do with you? One minute you're all sweet up here on my bed and the next, you're trying to murder me." Damian gazed away, pink lighting his cheeks. Dick smiled. "I love you so much Damian", he said, "for everything you are."
And for the first time, Damian took to heart something that had been whispered to him the night. His soft pink lips gently brushed Dick's nose.
Dick smiled and closing his eyes, putting his hand on the back on Damian's neck to pull his head up near. Damian quivered with joy and whispered, "I love you too Dick, for everything you are." And in the morning, Dick found that he had remained.
