This is kind of supposed to be a cosplay sketch-thing. I'd had the idea for awhile, but I couldn't get it down until today. So, here you go. I don't own anything except the lyrics I wrote to this melody, which is, in case you can't figure it out, Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. Somewhat OOC, but not in an unflatering way.
They stood facing him on the bridge outside the Beast's Castle. Belle was safely behind her more combat-oriented friends, clutching the rose for safekeeping. The staredown between the Whirlwhind Lancer and Our Heroes almost escalated into violence, and certainly would have, had the Keyblade Master not made an acute observation...
(speaking)
SORA:
Wait just a minute, don't fight him just yet
XALDIN:
Hurry up, kid, I don't have all day.
SORA:
I don't know everything about villians, I admit,
But there's something I just have to say
You've got sideburns and dreads and no ass-chin
You've got purple eyes and still look mean
(singing now, though the transition should be subtle)
Which means you can only be Xaldin
Number III in the Orgy XIII!
So...you...can't be Gaston
No, you can't be Gaston
There is definately something strange going on!
For I'm certain we're in the right movie,
And this is the appropriate part
BEAST:
But then why's the Dragoon with the groovy
Lances and the wind trying to rip out my heart?
ALL:
Where...the...Heck is Gaston?
DONALD:
Look around for Gaston
GOOFY:
Forget Xaldin, we wanna throw down with Gaston!
SORA:
All through Kingdom Hearts One and Two I've been waiting!
ALL:
Where have you gone, Gaston?!
BELLE:
Why do you whine?
Why do you moan?
That muscle-bound jerk's finally left me alone!
ALL:
No one runs like Gaston
No one hides like Gaston
Through our fingers infallibly slides like Gaston!
XALDIN:
I suppose he resents my great sideburns
And my marvelous eyebrows as well
SORA:
There's a lesson here that we can all learn
You don't need yaoi for your fanfic to sell!
ALL BUT BELLE:
No one's thug like Gaston
Got a mug like Gaston
One would think we could find a big lug like Gaston
BELLE:
I don't see why you find it so irritating! Men!
ALL BUT BELLE:
Where have you gone, Gaston?
GOOFY (to Donald):
Gaston would be Clayton all over again
So maybe it's not a bad thing
DONALD (to Goofy):
But Xaldin's considerab'ly tougher than him
So distract him by making him sing!
(somewhere in here, Sora attempts to hit Xaldin over the head with the Keyblade, and Xaldin unknowingly moves out of the way. On "get Gaston", Sora jumps up and down, frusteratedly pouting)
ALL:
Someone go get Gaston
No one's missed like Gaston
BEAST:
No one can make my lady-friend pissed like Gaston
GOOFY:
I've got seventeen bucks says he's mastur- (is quickly silenced by others)
ALL:
Where have you gone,
Gaston?!?
Like it? I may re-do it later.
