Title: Shot Through the Heart
Author: sofia-lindsay
Fandom: Criminal Minds
Pairing: JJ/Emily
Disclaimer- As always, if I owned the characters, we'd be watching instead of reading. And last night Will would have died!
Rating: PG
Summary: "Oh Emily, stop being such a drama queen!"
AN: This one is for ruevalerian who wanted me to write either JJ or Emily shooting the other one. I promise, it's not what it seems. It's humor, as usual.
AN2: darkbardzero, Thanks for beta'ing, and not killing me when I was telling you about it. (But yes, I would kill/injure JJ before I let anything happen to my precious Emily!)
Archiving: P&P, other's ask.
"Oh God no!!"
JJ watched with horror as the dark-haired agent dove to miss the round she had just fired.
"Honey, are you okay?" JJ's breath caught in her throat as she saw the dark red liquid smeared across her lover's chest. Emily's blank expression was enough to frighten anyone, especially when JJ saw the red liquid splattered across the floor, and the cut on her cheek from where she had scraped the ground. Rushing towards her lover, she knelt carefully beside her, pausing only to brush away a few loose strands her hair.
"You shot me…my own lover shot me. That has to be the most absurd thing ever."
"Oh Emily, stop being such a drama queen!" JJ scolded, earning a scoff from the woman lying on the ground.
"Well… you are always threatening to shoot me. I never knew one day you'd actually follow through!"
"Emily! That's not funny."
Choosing that moment to appear, Morgan and Reid froze on the spot upon seeing the situation.
"Baby girl, we need help…." Morgan began, speaking into his microphone before turning his attention to the shaking blonde. "JJ, you do realize we're not supposed to shoot our partners, don't you?"
"Oh shut the fuck up Morgan. This is your fault! If you hadn't insisted on pairing us together!"
A frightened Garcia rushed into the dim room, "Derek! What's wrong? Who's hurt? Oh…JJ what did you do?!"
An amused Emily looked up at the tech guru and gave a sneaky smirk, "Oh, only a little something to put her ass on the couch for a few weeks."
"Emily, that's not funny!" JJ screeched, shooting the prone woman a death glare at the prospect of sleeping on the couch and not in her lover's arms.
"Jayj, you did shoot her…I really don't think she's gonna sleep with you for quite some time." Morgan countered, earning a swat to the arm from Garcia.
Clearing his throat nervously, Reid broke through the banter.
"Um..guys? You do realize it's only paintball, right?"
