A chair smashes, the torch goes out and again I am alone
Why?
What have I done to make it like this?
Why am I hated like this?
Why am I treated like this?
Like the tiny fly striving to make a home
Smeared against the wall with the human's disgust.
Lucius knows.
He thinks I'm easy prey.
Everyone else seems to think we are friends.
James and Sirius, Peter and Remus.
They won't accept me either
Again I refer to the fly on the wall
Smeared for their pleasure.
I like the darkness
The blackness is my friend
It hides me from prying eyes
It hides me from Lucius
It hides me from the ones who will bend me so easily
To do what they want...
I have a scar on my arm to prove that
That I am so easy to bend
To manipulate into a tool of destruction.
My parents are no help
"A Snape" they say "should never cry"
"A Snape should feel no pain"
"A Snape should be arrogant and unforgiving"
"A Snape should withhold the Slytherin trust"
I asked the hat to put me in Slytherin
So I could save myself from another bruise.
It hasn't worked as such
No one notices
No one cares.
They're always arguing, my parents
Always killing, always fighting
Always throwing furniture and then
Always beating me
Using me as a diversion to split equal powers
Using me as a scapegoat so they don't have to go head to head
They don't know who would win...
Using me as a punchbag
Blaming it all on me
And then...
No one cares.
Except one girl
One girl who is brave enough to stand by me
One girl who doesn't care that we are from different houses
Or that, by my 'Master's' will I should kill her
She cares
Lily Evans cares
She asks me why I hide
She asks me why I whimper when I'm touched
She asks me why I shake when someone raises their voice
She cares
But James and Sirius, Remus and Peter,
They tear her away from me
They say she should not be near me
They accuse me of breaking her heart
She does not love me
She cares
She wants to know why I always have the bruises
She suspects I am mistreated
And yet she can do nothing
The other four drag her back
Tell her I am not worthy
Say I am scum
A slimy Slytherin
A greasy git
I guess that's what I am
Because of my parents
I am mean
I imitate their scathing remarks
It's all I know
I don't know how to be happy
I don't know how to smile
I don't know how to love
I don't know how to care for another
No one has ever taught me
Because no one notices...
Not at school, not at home...
No one notices my reluctance, my remorse, my regret
They all think I'm a tough hardy Slytherin...
They couldn't be more wrong.
I don't want to be that anymore
I don't want to be me anymore
I don't want to live anymore
And yet I can't die
I just can't
They've done something
They've stopped me from killing and hurting myself
I guess they want that pleasure for themselves...
James, and
Sirius, and
Remus, and
Peter, and
Lucius, and
My Parents, and
Them...
Always Them...
So I can never escape
No one I can trust
My one true friend pulled away from me
No one I can turn to
I can only live by their wrath
Live by their wrath
By their rules
To serve Them
Forever
And Always
To serve Them...
Why?
What have I done to make it like this?
Why am I hated like this?
Why am I treated like this?
Like the tiny fly striving to make a home
Smeared against the wall with the human's disgust.
Lucius knows.
He thinks I'm easy prey.
Everyone else seems to think we are friends.
James and Sirius, Peter and Remus.
They won't accept me either
Again I refer to the fly on the wall
Smeared for their pleasure.
I like the darkness
The blackness is my friend
It hides me from prying eyes
It hides me from Lucius
It hides me from the ones who will bend me so easily
To do what they want...
I have a scar on my arm to prove that
That I am so easy to bend
To manipulate into a tool of destruction.
My parents are no help
"A Snape" they say "should never cry"
"A Snape should feel no pain"
"A Snape should be arrogant and unforgiving"
"A Snape should withhold the Slytherin trust"
I asked the hat to put me in Slytherin
So I could save myself from another bruise.
It hasn't worked as such
No one notices
No one cares.
They're always arguing, my parents
Always killing, always fighting
Always throwing furniture and then
Always beating me
Using me as a diversion to split equal powers
Using me as a scapegoat so they don't have to go head to head
They don't know who would win...
Using me as a punchbag
Blaming it all on me
And then...
No one cares.
Except one girl
One girl who is brave enough to stand by me
One girl who doesn't care that we are from different houses
Or that, by my 'Master's' will I should kill her
She cares
Lily Evans cares
She asks me why I hide
She asks me why I whimper when I'm touched
She asks me why I shake when someone raises their voice
She cares
But James and Sirius, Remus and Peter,
They tear her away from me
They say she should not be near me
They accuse me of breaking her heart
She does not love me
She cares
She wants to know why I always have the bruises
She suspects I am mistreated
And yet she can do nothing
The other four drag her back
Tell her I am not worthy
Say I am scum
A slimy Slytherin
A greasy git
I guess that's what I am
Because of my parents
I am mean
I imitate their scathing remarks
It's all I know
I don't know how to be happy
I don't know how to smile
I don't know how to love
I don't know how to care for another
No one has ever taught me
Because no one notices...
Not at school, not at home...
No one notices my reluctance, my remorse, my regret
They all think I'm a tough hardy Slytherin...
They couldn't be more wrong.
I don't want to be that anymore
I don't want to be me anymore
I don't want to live anymore
And yet I can't die
I just can't
They've done something
They've stopped me from killing and hurting myself
I guess they want that pleasure for themselves...
James, and
Sirius, and
Remus, and
Peter, and
Lucius, and
My Parents, and
Them...
Always Them...
So I can never escape
No one I can trust
My one true friend pulled away from me
No one I can turn to
I can only live by their wrath
Live by their wrath
By their rules
To serve Them
Forever
And Always
To serve Them...
