Author's Note: My first Twilight fanfiction. This takes place during Edward and Bella's first Biology class together. The song is Jordan Pruitt's "Outside Looking In", and I would recommend listening to it while you read. The italics are Edward's thought's, the bold Bella's. The unaffected (not bold, not italicized) words are the lyrics. The lyrics belong to Jordan Pruitt, the characters to Stephenie Meyer. Please feel free to review harshly as long as it is fairly.
You don't know my name
You don't know anything about me
Why was I so attracted? It was abnormal. She was abnormal.
I try to play nice
I wanna be in your game
What had I done? Did glancing at someone constitute an offense in Forks? I hadn't even spoken properly to him.
The things that you say
You may think I never hear about them
She would start gossiping behind my back soon. They all did.
Only if she lived that long.
But word travels fast
I'm telling you to your face
I'm standing here behind your back
They would never know that we heard. Why should our hearing be superior to theirs? They had no reason to suspect us.
You don't know it feels to be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like to be left out
They all had mates. I was the seventh wheel. They could live without me.
So could she.
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend
On the outside looking in
They loved me. I knew that. It just wasn't the same.
If you could read my mind
You might see more of me than meets the eye
Why was her mind shut off from me? It made no more sense than the attraction I felt. She was a human! I would kill her in a minute if I grasped her hand too firmly!
And you've been all wrong
Not who you think I am
You've never given me a chance
I hadn't done anything to upset him yet, had I? This is worse than Phoenix.
You don't know it feels to be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like to be left out
My God, she smelled like heaven.
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend
On the outside looking in
No. I'd promised myself. They deserve better. I'm sure she does as well.
Well I'm tired of staying at home
I'm bored and all alone
I'm sick of wasting all my time
I would leave. Everyone would be better off, there would be a smaller family to keep quiet…I wouldn't have to take lives.
You don't know it feels to be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like to be left out
No one had said bye before I left. Had any of them noticed I was gone yet? Or did their sunshine and mirrors matter more?
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend
On the outside looking in
Renee had gotten married. It was like my best friend leaving the country. I couldn't have stayed longer if I'd wanted.
You don't know it feels to be outside the crowd
You don't know what it's like to be left out
Why wouldn't this damned craving go away? I didn't want to be a monster!
And you don't know how it feels
To be your own best friend
On the outside looking in
Just one taste…
What if she survived? I couldn't damn another soul. No. No.
