All is hell that ends well
/We did it!/
She was overjoyed, happy and nervous at the same time. Her heart leapt inside her chest, and she found herself secretly peeking into his room. And bed. And him. His face. His eyes. Everything. The familiar feelings and secret glances took her way back, at a time when they were all young…
/He's finally back!/
She was acting like a love-struck idiot; but she couldn't care less. Everything was back in its place. Everyone was here and safe, heading in a caravan towards the village. Towards their home. Towards, a bright future, instead of one filled with doubts and horror. Towards change.
Everything was… perfect.
And the small, cold and analytical part of her, brushed aside into depths of subconscious and lost memories, prepared for the onslaught.
This was just the beginning.
6 days since the events of the: End of the IV. War, Infinite Tsukuyomi and The battle at the Valley of the End
"You've been acting quite differently, Sakura."
The young rosette girl stared at her Sensei next to her, the smile dropping and a raised eyebrow taking its place. His face was the same; the mask and the neutral, bored gaze of his eyes were all in place, staring ahead. The only difference was how she was now freely staring at the right side of his face- well, mostly. No headband in place; that was a big change.
"What do you mean Kakashi-Sensei?"
They stared at the bulls pulling their wagon, encouraged by the whip of a Chunin- the rider. It was a sad scene from the bull's point of view; but Sakura's thoughts weren't focused on that. She was more focused on the path they were taking and the familiar forest around them.
"You're… happier."
Silence engulfed them for a moment, as she tried to carefully voice her question- without threat or guilt.
"Is that… a bad thing?" She frowned, staring ahead. The sun was rising, but the meaning of it was lost on her now. She glanced at her Sensei, who sighed and faced her fully. His eyes were narrowed and serious, like all the times he faced a dangerous opponent, the small orange book stashed away from sight. "Are you happy, Sakura?"
The question shocked her to the very core, and she was struck speechless. Her eyes swayed to the side- was she happy? And the answers came flooding through her mind instantly.
The war was over. Kaguya was gone. The dead were sent back where they belonged. Her loved ones, her friends, had lived. Naruto was alive. They were both alive. She was alive. Sasuke… Sasuke was back.
Back where he belonged.
Team 7 was back.
She offered her Sensei an honest, giant grin- the one she couldn't pull off in years. Her eyes sparkled and the answer was clear. "Yes, Sensei." She whispered, looking back at the tent, smiling at the two idiots in a dangerous clinical state and coma. But still alive... "I am."
He offered her one of his fatherly, hidden smiles, the perverted book back in hand. "Good- that's all that matters." He went back to his reading, ignoring the surprised, but pleasant, look Sakura was shooting his way. She turned her head back to the road, smiling and humming to an unfamiliar yet soothing tune.
Yes- for the first time, everything was right back as it should be. Their two eccentric teammates were back together- back with their team. And Kakashi-Sensei was finally treating her as a real student- as a part of the team.
Team 7 is finally re-born.
Despite this, that small, cold and reasonable part of her whispered from deep below, ignored by the other pleased thoughts but constantly echoing:
Are you happy, Sakura?
7 days since the events of the: End of the IV. War, The Infinite Tsukuyomi and The battle at The Valley of the End
The sun was rising. The birds chirped. Screams were heard.
/What in the…?/ Sakura groaned, trying to block out the yells from outside. She pulled her pillow over her head, frustrated. She was tired and it was too early for any battles or arguments. /They better shut up, shannaro!/
The stray beeping noises of the machine pulled her wide awake.
She sat up immediately, and looked below at the two occupied beds. They're eyes were still closed, stubborn and dead to the world. But she could see the vague rises of both their chests, and she breathed a sigh of relief.
Jumping down lightly at the swaying floor, she quickly discarded her pyjamas and pulled on her Chunin uniform and vest. She peeked at them both, before putting on the black shirt- her mind knew there was still zero chance of early waking from a coma, but boys were perverts at heart. /You can never be too sure…/ Miracles were known to be given to those on the kinky side far too often…
She stared at the mirror and scowled at her form. /Even if they woke up, it certainly wouldn't be because of you…/ She glared at her body- or lack of, in specific areas and sighed deeply. Forming her features into something professional, she pulled on her hitai-ate before steeping into the blinding light.
The yells and loud proclamations were even louder on the outside. Sakura couldn't find Kakashi anywhere, and that fact worried her greatly. She was just about to sit down and ask the driver, when the scenery in front froze her solid.
Over rows and rows of carriages in front, a vague construction could be seen in the distance. It was blurry and smaller than she was used to seeing, but it was there all the same.
Sakura's mouth opened wide and gasped loudly. She soon joined the obnoxious loud cheers around her, as the caravan approached their destination.
Konoha.
8 days since the events of the: End of the IV. War, The Infinite Tsukuyomi and The battle at The Valley of the End
Sakura shifted. She walked. Sprinted. Stopped. And turned. Flinched. And shifted again.
To cut to the chase; after a long day of assuring everyone who left the battlefield wasn't left behind, an all-nighter at the hospital to properly treat the serious cases and mild ones and after spending all her breaks to write the shortest, yet longest reports she ever had to- Sakura was finally right back where she belonged.
Home.
And she was standing in front of it for a good half an hour already. It was stupid, really. Most people couldn't wait to visit their favourite bar, or flung their arms over their loved ones, exchanging tears through mixed shoulders. All of the people in the hospital had at least tried to do a Kakahi get-away on her. At least once.
And here she was.
Sakura wasn't holding a grudge against her parents of any kind. She needed a bit of induced normality in her life, and for that, her parents were always there to remind her about. No; she feared her parent's reaction. Leaving a simple note how it was her duty as the next generation to carry on the will of fire aka. Go to War, wasn't really something easily forgotten. Or forgiven.
And her parents were eccentric- no matter what everyone said, but for her they'd always stay the most eccentric and concerned people she ever knew.
/Stop being a chicken, for the love of Kami/ She huffed, clenching the doorknob with determination. /You've faced zombies, white cannibals, tailed beasts, various gods-in-the-making and your crush/She grumbled under her chin. /This, is nothing/
She wished her body would listen to her mind, for once.
It took a lot of courage to enter that door- Sakura could easily compare it with the feeling of entering one of Kaguya's twisted dimensions. To voice her return, after slowly and quietly taking off her shoes, was like trying to speak under water.
Her mother was the first that found her. At that moment, Sakura would have gladly gone back in the middle of fighting Madara and Kaguya. And she could easily admit that fact any time.
/Right- time to get over this./ Her mother was still shocked at her appearance, so she took the time to brace herself. She heard movement before she saw it, and she clenched her jaw and eyes shut. /Impact!/ She hissed in her brain, as she felt the body inches from her own.
…
Sakura blinked her eyes open, shocked until tomorrow. She tried to encircle her own arms around her mother, who was now crushing her like a child would a favourite toy. She heard cries of delight and joy mixed with worry and tears: "You're back!" "My poor baby's alive!" "Oh, Sakura!"
/Must be a new tactic./ Sakura mused. /To take me unprepared/ The tearful exclamations made the guilt stronger though, so she let her fears fade for now and openly hugged her mother. "Mom… Mom!" She buried her head in her shoulder, her own sadness and delight mixing. "Okaa-san!"
This only made her mother cry harder, and that's how her father found them. In a crying mess. Sakura saw the edge of his star-fish haircut and the moment she glimpsed his familiar grin, she hurled her body at him like a lost child finally finding her beloved guardians. "Papa- Otou-san!"
He patted her head and soothed her shakes; she felt her mother caress her shoulder and back. They whispered sweet nothings in her ear, and Sakura didn't care she was 17 or an approaching adult. At that moment, this was all she needed.
They let go after a while and laughed, Sakura desperately trying to rub away the teary edges of her eyes and raw skin away. Her mother escorted her to the kitchen and her father told his standard bad jokes along the way. "Why are old people so grumpy? Because, if anyone told them jokes, they'd die laughing!" It felt like home again.
The dinner was spent with warm home-made food and easy conversation. The atmosphere would turn dark at the mentions of loss and war, but it was fun most of the way.
That was why Sakura was so tense at the end of it, as her mother took away the plates and her father prepared to go water the garden. Throughout the entire meeting and dinner- not once did they mention her goodbye-letter and their anger which she knew was there, hidden and ready to strike.
Sakura didn't want to ruin such a wonderful evening- but she couldn't bear to deal with everything tomorrow.
"Ummm…" Her voice was timid as she sat at the tatami mat, wincing as her parents instantly turned their attention to her. /Now or never/ She prayed to Kami or whatever deity existed above. "About that letter…" It was a lame ending, but she was prepared for the tsunami to hit.
…Which never came. Or missed its target.
"Oh, That." Her mother pointed out, as she dried the plate in her hand. "What about it?" Sakura openly gaped at her, before exclaiming in a hurried and pitched voice. "W-well… I-I just wanted to say I'm sorry-y and I… I… Completely understand your anger!" She finished in a rush and a big exhale. Let them come- at least the weight was off her chest.
Her parents didn't come, though. No- they chuckled and scratched their head sheepishly.
"Don't worry Sakura, we understand." Her mother assured with a tiny, but honest smile. "It was your duty and obligation. We're just glad you're safe."
"Yes dear." Her father agreed, nodding. "Your mother's right. As long as you're-"
"Hold that thought." Sakura interrupted, hands spread out in front of her. Were her ears deceiving her? Or had she finally joined the mental institution? "You're… agreeing with me?" She stared at them in denial- at her mother and father. "You're actually agreeing with my decision and abrupt departure?" Sakura used formal words when agitated. She blanched at their hesitant look and nod. "What?"
"Of course, dear." Her mother confirmed, waving off her daughter's unnecessary arguments as she walked back to the kitchen. "Why, I don't understand your shock. Kids these days."
"D-dad?" Sakura turned to him with wide eyes- maybe her parents had switched personalities or something. That theory was turned down soon enough as her father grinned from the doorway. "Sure sweetie. I mean, I've got no right to judge. I'm only a chunin after all, and I never went through extreme war missions like you honey." He walked off, and Sakura could vaguely hear her mother hum in agreement from afar.
She looked around the empty room with wide eyes. "A dream." She whispered as she left and walked up the stairs. "Must be a dream."
That night, as she laid her head on the pillow, she realized something extremely new and sad had occurred.
Her parents had changed.
Her mother would have slapped her, argued and fought with her. Then hugged her and kissed her cheeks, whimpering how stupid she was and to never do it again or there'd be hell to pay. And her father would laugh and joke, and hug her and soothe the atmosphere. But after her mother would wander off, he'd come to her and give her a serious talk and discussion of her abrupt decisions.
Her mother was forceful- but her father was a silent force to be wreaked with. Sakura's intelligence didn't come from thin air, after all. That was one of the reasons why she was always so ashamed by her parents- they had the potential to reach far, even farther than the others (and that, she could proudly state), but they never did. And Sakura saw and felt the loss- they would always remain Chunin.
At the last thought, Sakura's heart clenched violently. Her parents would never let her go so far into her statements of them being only Chunin- they'd take it as an insult and argue back, from which she'd never come out the winner. But today they had admitted it- even going so far as to admit her strength as higher.
That first victory should have made her feel happy and victorious. But it only made her feel numb and empty.
These weren't the same parents that she left behind.
Sakura had no idea her absence would make her parents go through such a drastic change. Had she worried them that much? Had the thought of losing her changed them that much?
That same buried and deep reasonable part of her seemed to vibrate through her mind, the only thing she could hear clearly in her brain.
'You've gained a team. But lost a family.' Its voice was dripped in sarcasm and sounded a lot like her lost alter ego- or was it the other way around? 'Congrats.'
/My team is my family/ she scoffed firmly, shielding herself from the world into the warm blankets. But the response kept her wide awake, until much later.
'It is now.'
14 days since the events of the: End of the IV. War, The Infinite Tsukuyomi and The battle at The Valley of the End
"Helllooooo, forehead!" Sakura flinched and the coffee she was drinking violently poured itself back into her cup. She recognized that obnoxious voice anywhere.
"Pig." She glared at the ecstatic female across from her. "So, what reason brings you to destroy my lunch break?" Sakura raised her eyebrow, putting away her half eaten sandwich. Truth be told, she was secretly glad for the surprise visit. All the serious cases that rolled in had turned to mild when strapped with the right equipment and medication. It was so boring, she half-hoped an assassin came in and threatened the hospital. Or something.
Ino was a great substitute though.
"Just took the time to visit my best friend." Ino chatted happily, grabbing the rice balls without a word and munching on them. Sakura looked at her oddly- but decided to play along. "Really? Where is he?" Sakura looked behind her with a sly smile. "I'd love to meet him."
Ino looked at her oddly before bursting out loud in laughter. "You're so silly, forehead." She wiped away the tears and patted her hand gently. "No wonder you're my best friend."
Sakura regarded he left hand for a moment, expecting a sort of acid already melting it, before she gave the blond a very long and hard stare. She and Ino had come to terms with their past- but Sakura never thought they'd regain their close friendship this fast. She hoped for it of course, but the never really talked about it. "Ummm- yeah. Sure." She smiled tightly. Sometimes, you just rolled with it. "So- how's business?" Changing the subject was an obvious move; but if there was one thing Sakura needed right now, it was Ino's endless complaints about the flower shop.
"Why, business is flourishing!" She proclaimed and grinned widely, and Sakura couldn't help but laugh. At the blonde's confused glance, she stopped instantly. "Oh…Oh!" She sat up straighter and laughed weakly. "You… you're joking right?"
"Nope." Ino helped herself with the apple juice, sucking the box dry before continuing. "I mean it- people have been coming and going all day long. Mom said if this keeps up, the flower shop might even get bigger." Ino smiled. Sakura began to worry for her friend- the flower shop always had a big sale after the war and Ino knew it. This still didn't mean she didn't complain. "But enough about that- how are you?" Sakura snapped out of her thoughts and welcomed the change. /I guess I'll make it up for both of us and complain to my heart's content/
"Ugh- don't get me started. Ignoring the fact that there's practically nothing to do at the hospital, except not be a doctor, everything is so boring. There's nothing happening at all!" She exclaimed and angrily bit into her sandwich.
"It is a time of peace."
"I know, I know." Sakura bit her lip- when had Ino become the girl that pointed things out? She felt guilty now- why would she want to have some action? Now after the war, of all things. Konoha deserved peace.
"It's not just that. It's…" She was grasping at straws to erase her earlier mistake, but she quickly gave up. Ino was her best friend, apparently, right? "My parents have been acting weird." She hesitated, since she wasn't the type for confessions, but after a reassuring look from blue eyes she braved onwards. "Well- weirder. It's like the moment I left for war is the moment I lost them. They're…nice, calm and completely in agreement with me!" She soon found herself biting into thin air, and with a scowl realized her sandwich was already devoured. "I can't believe that they took my goodbye letter and absence with a calm heart." She shook her head- it was still too weird to say, and the thoughts of last night came back full-force. /My family is my team. 'It is now.'/ It started to seem like those words rang true.
"Is that… a bad thing?"
"What?" Sakura glanced at her worried friend and violently shook her head. Ino was making her feel guilty about everything right now- and that used to be her job! "No, no- of course not! I… I guess I'm just not used to it. We were never a normal happyfamily, but…" She couldn't say it. She refused to. This was just a phase and her parents would snap out of it. Go back to being the eccentrics they were. Maybe.
"Sakura, are you happy?"
The rosette gave Ino a frightened and shocked look- what kind of question was that? And Ino was serious- she held her hand and gave her a look as if she was expecting Sakura to burst out crying any moment, and assuring her she would be there to make everything better. Dare she say it, but Ino looked ready to kill anyone that made Sakura unhappy in any way. It was a frightening observation, one that brought her back to the carriage, sitting together with her Sensei who looked and asked her the same thing Ino did.
"Are you happy, Sakura?"
Those conflicting emotions arose back inside the pit of her stomach- except now there was a lot more doubt than assurance. /Snap out of it!/ She gathered herself and smiled at Ino. "Ino… how can you even ask that? How can I not be happy?" Those words weren't only to assure Ino- but herself too. "I'm sorry for worrying you… It's just that… Sasuke hasn't even opened an eye. And I'm getting worried is all." Yup- that must have been the reason. Now that she thought about it, it was worrying. Well, one couldn't expect to stay alive, much less awake, after so many battles. But this was Sasuke and Naruto she was talking about.
Ino relaxed and loosened her death grip on her hand- patting it gently, she stood up and swatted away the attaching crumbs from her dress. "Well- if that's it. I gotta go. And don't worry, forehead." She gave her usual sly smile. "Everything will be perfect from now on." With a wink, she rounded the corner and disappeared.
Sakura waved back until it was safe to assume Ino left- she frowned deeply and took out a small picture from her childhood way back. She had it on her person all the time, just like the copy of her Team 7 photo.
/Gained a team, but lost a family./ The words played in her mind in a sad tune. She gently touched the image of chibi Ino playing with a chibi and skittish Sakura from long ago. /So why does it feel like I've lost you too, pig?/ She narrowed her eyes suspiciously, looking at the corner her friend disappeared behind. /And since when do you wear a dress?/
16 days since the events of the: End of the IV. War, The Infinite Tsukuyomi and The battle at The Valley of the End
Sakura yawned tiredly as she walked through the sliding glass doors. She waved a mumbled hello to the nurse at the reception. Yume waved back with a knowing smile. All nurses and doctors had a very strained relationship. Yume was the one nurse that stood on solid ground with all the doctors. More or less.
"Uhh, Sakura-san!" She stopped and turned to look back at the nurse in question. "I almost forgot; Tsunade-sama informed me that there is a surprise waiting for you in room 17C." Sakura cocked her head to the side, as she racked her brain. Knowing Tsunade it was more of a nasty disease awaiting her than anything pleasant. "Which floor, Yume-san?"
"Umm…Let me check…Ah, yes. Third floor."
Sakura nodded absently as she made her way through the hallways, thinking /17C, third floor. Hmmm-/. She faltered a bit in her step, than rushed to the stairs like she was on fire. /Sasuke-kun and Naruto are on the third floor!/ She hissed and suddenly, all the worst possible case scenarios appeared in her brain.
Naruto dying. Sasuke dying. Sasuke having another nervous breakdown. Sasuke and Nartuto fighting and killing each other. Sasuke and Naruto attracting a lethal disease. Sasuke and Naruto kissing… and unable to break free. /Gawd!/ She was ready to pull her hair out if the last one was true.
She skidded to a stop and almost slammed into a wall. She evaded it though, and instead, crashed head first into someone. They went tumbling to the floor in a huge mess of tangled limbs. Sakura groaned in pain at the impact /Ugh- head hurts…/ she blinked her eyes open and froze. Gasping, she quickly leapt backwards as another painful groan joined hers. "I'm so sorr- Shizune-Sensei!" She exclaimed as she recognized the dark head rubbing her head on the floor.
Shizune was the only other person which Sakura valued as much as Tsunade. Tsunade was a very strict teacher- sober or not, and it was always Shizune that healed her injuries, dragged away her unconscious body and reminded her to eat in those early horror training days. She had a very high regard of the woman- something akin to a saviour or saint.
The words of various apologies tumbled from her mouth in a clumsy mess as she helped Shizune off the floor. She kept bowing repeatedly and she heard the older woman laugh away her excuses. "No need to apologize- I'm alive." Shizune placed a glowing hand at the back of her head to soothe away the pain. She sighed and straightened out the fabric of her usual kimono when she was done. "So, I gather you must have heard about your teammates." At that statement, Sakura's face shot up in worry and fear. So, it was about Naruto and Sasuke after all. "Shizune-Sensei, is-"
"No need to worry; they're fine Sakura."
"Oh." Sakura stopped and grinned like a moron. "Good! That's good."
"And wide awake too." Shizune winked knowingly and left her alone in the hallway.
Sakura's face flushed and her heart skipped a beat. /They're… awake?/ A timid voice whispered in her mind. /Sasuke-kun…/
A very dreamy and romantic reunion fleshed out in her mind before she shook it off. /Dreams are for the ones sleeping/ she hissed and grabbed the doorknob. /I just hope a furious Sasuke isn't awaiting me…like before…/ with a loud gulp, she opened the door.
"Sakura-chan!"
Sakura would have rolled her eyes before at such a loud greeting, but this time she gave the blond the biggest grin she could muster. She had missed him. She really had- and when Kakashi had told her of their fight after he dispelled the genjutsu… As much as she prayed for them both to survive, she hoped that Naruto would survive the ordeal the most. He's been through too much pain- she has put him through too much pain. It wouldn't have been fair, but he pulled it off.
/As usual/ She mused /He's a hero after all/. The blond returned her grin- his face was covered in bandages as much as the rest of his body. But at least the swelling and burn marks were healed now. /Even his teeth grew back/. Sasuke was also in his bed, probably awake as his body was upright. She didn't dare glance at his face, as she walked to the window and peeked below. A smirk bloomed on her delicate features.
"Running from check-ups?" She purred maliciously at Kakashi lounging on the roof, perverted book in check. Yes- the only shinobi who still didn't get the obligatory check-up. The hospital staff was more annoyed than shocked though.
He looked up at her with a fake smile. "Someone has to watch over the boys- I weighed my options and I think both of us know what's more important." She rolled her eyes at that.
"A-ha. I'll inform the nurses about your… decision." She smiled at his nervous look. He was really putting all their panties in a twist- they were even organizing a man hunt on him. Wait till they hear, he's been hiding on the hospital all this time.
"Ne, Sakura-chan!" She glanced back to see Naruto's pout. "Kakashi-Sensei's not the one injured here." He grumbled, and Sakura grinned and skipped over. "Sorry Naruto." She patted his arm gently. "I didn't forget about you…Or Sasuke" She glanced warily at the impassive face of Sasuke.
Nothing new there; no, except for the fact he was staring in her mutual direction. For once. /Interesting./
"Oh, and how have you been feeling Naruto?" She inquired, glancing at the machine- heart rate was stable and beating. At Naruto's enthusiastic nod and yell "Like I can face the world, dattebayo!", she moved over to his chart. The blood sample looked good- normal amount of red and white blood cells, his chakra stores were gigantic, like always, no sign of viruses or any worrying bacteria… Extraordinary health- as usual. Even when both of them lost an arm, Naruto's health proved he could take on the world right then and there. Being a jinchuriki had its perks.
"Sasuke?" She murmured absentmindedly, eyes skimming through the papers- before catching herself. /Whoops/ she winced inwardly, peeking at his handsome face over the edge of the chart.
Sasuke's eyes didn't twitch angrily as they used to whenever she basically breathed in his presence; he even caught her stare for a moment. Her breath stopped for a tiny millisecond- the sight of a purple eye filled with circles made her wince, but the usual spell he used on every girl was still functional, and Sakura could feel it's effects even now. She absorbed the precious moment and didn't find the usual hint of annoyance in his depths. Rather, an odd form of… neutral curiosity. That was the best way to describe it.
On the other hand, he could have been faking it, and was desperately trying to calm the storm of hate he harboured for her from view. Oh well; her over-calculating brain would never know.
Sasuke looked away and let out a clear "Hn."
Sakura sighed- what was she expecting, really? A change? After she poured her heart out to him, albeit clumsily, in the midst of a battlefield? She wasn't surprised- this was Sasuke she was talking about. Her heart clenched slightly- like it always did in her genin days. But her mind, rather a very small reasonable part of her, breathed fire through her veins. /How DARE he ignore me./ This wasn't actually Sakura thinking here; but she was feeling too pathetic to care so she let her long-lost (new?)-Inner take over for a moment.
She walked her way over to Sasuke's bed and took the chart hanging from it. Her eyes skimmed over the paperwork; his chakra stores were almost back to normal, but his red and white blood cells were lacking- but all of that was to be expected since he lost an arm. Some potentially dangerous bacteria were completely wiped out by meds, and there was a slight chance for him to catch a mild case of the flu…
"You don't have to do that." He mumbled, and Sakura caught his even gaze behind the chart. "Tsunade herself said I'm recovering well and I'll be discharged in a couple of days." He pointed out, his gaze still emotionless as ever. "I'm fine."
/Yeah- for now, you son of a bitch/ Sakura smiled sweetly at him. It was her favourite expression- she reserved it for only those few, special opponents out there. Sasuke took it like most of those poor suckers did- he smirked knowingly and bam!, Just like that, the ever silent arrogance was back. He was lucky she was in love with him- he'd be not fine right about now if she wasn't.
"That might be so, Sasuke-kun." She said evenly, still smiling. "But I still need to check up on you both." Sakura trusted the doctors (no one incompetent could be hired with Tsunade in charge), but this was more of a habit that went on automatic. Checking up on patients was second nature to her now.
"There's no need to, though." He mumbled, glancing at the clock on the wall. "We're under the care of professionals after all."
A clock ticked by. Naruto gasped extremely loudly, and Kakashi poked his head through the window. Sakura felt as if time stopped, and her eyes were only on Sasuke who was glaring at Naruto's reaction. /Remember every detail/ her Inner whispered sweetly in her ear /This is the douchebag you're in love with/.
Sakura felt the fury in her chest. She saw red. Her hands twitched. She laughed. "Funny, Sasuke." She grinned as Sasuke looked at her, and no form of invisibility could mask his shock as he stared at her. "Didn't know you had a sense of humour." She smiled lightly as the door opened, and Sakura could hear the cart roll in. She nodded at the two nurses on her way out, ignoring the others in the room, and gave the secret signal on Kakashi's whereabouts. The nurses smirked her way and Sakura knew they were armed and ready.
Sakura waited till the door closed. She turned and patiently walked to the floor below, across the giant hallway that connected the east and west wings and stopped in front of an unnumbered door. She entered, and for the next half an hour, she spent destroying it and devouring it with her limbs with every taijutsu move she knew.
The entire hospital gave up on ever fixing Tsunade's drinking addiction. Instead they built various empty rooms called "Panic spaces". They were unnumbered and closed to anyone but the staff. It was a win-win situation; Tsunade wouldn't tear the hospital apart and pay for the damage, and the hospital wasn't piled up with any broken equipment or patients anymore. The council found this a waste of money; but the entire hospital profited in more ways than one.
Sakura blinked back furious tears from her eyes. /Stupid, stupid, stupid/ She chanted to herself as she ran down the hallway. Her fury had forced her Inner back into the depths of her mind (For now) so she was free to regret and insult herself for not kicking chicken head's butt into next week all she wanted.
She slowed her pace as she reached busy floors, but she couldn't help but glare at any person making eye contact. The sadness had all but vanished from her- Sakura knew who she was in love with, reminded enough times about it and she's come to terms with her heart, thank you, goodbye.
Her mind was plotting all the vicious schemes she could come up with- like, sending Sasuke a nuclear bomb or poisoned flowers. Or, reviving Orochimaru, or bringing Itachi back from the dead so he can tell him what a great and utter shallow bastard he actually was. Maybe then he'd finally realize he wasn't fucking perfect.
It wasn't until she reached Tsunade's office that she created the perfect plan.
25 days since the events of the: End of the IV. War, The Infinite Tsukuyomi and The battle at The Valley of the End
Sakura was having a wonderful day.
Naruto was discharged a couple of days ago, his new prosthetic arm sewn in and functional. It was still fragile and sore, and he wasn't supposed to strain it for at least another two weeks. But seeing this was Naruto, Tsunade had created another prosthetic arm from the cells of Naruto's blood and jinchuuriki chakra. Just in case.
Sakura was alone at home- this was actually a rare event, seeing her parents were old hogs that refused to move out unless absolutely necessary. As of late, they have been going out into bars and parties more often- it would seem that the older ninja that had participated in the 4. War were all eager to jump into alcohol and fun, avoiding the old, and new, bad memories.
Ino's mum was having it especially hard- and therefore Sakura's mom was always there to make sure she lived through the night. And when Haruno Mebuki suffered, so did her husband. So, her father was dragged away towards these events, mumbling against the injustice of it all.
Sakura joined them once; and quickly regretted it. She had always respected her peers, but after that night she wasn't sure she could look at some of them in the eye ever again. Ino was still laughing her butt every time when she remembered how Genma and Kotetsu drunkenly tried to flirt with her.
"Are you an overdue library book?"
"Cause you've got FINE alllllllll over you."
The hospital was doing good, Kakashi was about to be claimed as the new sixth Hokage and Tsunade was celebrating every new day which got her closer to her retirement. While, Kakashi himself was becoming more sombre and tired- just like no amount of paperwork could dampen the mood for Tsunade, even the Icha-Icha series couldn't take out a giggle from her Sensei anymore.
It was tragic; and, kinda neat. /Justice has been served/ She purred in her mind- next time, he would think twice on ignoring the girl on the team. /Karma's a bitch/
Just as those thoughts appeared and quickly disappeared, Sakura turned to the loud banging sound coming from outside. She sighed and slowly walked up to the front door. God, couldn't she have one peaceful night alone? "Would you stop that?!" She yelled in irritation, slowly opening her probably destroyed door now. /God if it's Izumo again.../ "What did the door ever do-"
It was Sasuke. Outside. In his hospital gown.
Oh.
Sakura did her best- she really did. But she could not wipe off the awkward grimace on her face. "Umm…w-what can I-I do for you, Sasuke-pfft; k-kun?" She giggled. Correction, she was giggling. Right in his face. At him.
And judging from his expression of fury, he knew why.
"What. Did. You. Do." He hadn't even bothered to play it cool; his eyes were twitching madly, probably wanting to Sharingan her into oblivion.
Yup- Sakura blinked and stepped back, as he slowly towered over her. She wasn't intimidated in the least- absolutely not, she faced Gods remember? /When had he grown so freakishly tall?!/ She shook her head and stood up straighter. She could barely reach his nose, but she stood her ground. /My territory, my rules/ Taking a deep mental breath, she looked up into those enchanting (/Stop it/) and murderous, spiralling eyes with the best bored look she could manage. /Kakashi, don't fail me now!/
"Whatever do you mean?" Ha- her voice hadn't even shivered. She just hoped her eyes hadn't betrayed her; she was always skittish around him. They probably did, but Sasuke wasn't as perceptive today.
"What do I mean? What do I mean?!" He screamed, grabbing her by her wrists and edging closer. /Over-reacting a tad bit./ Sakura gulped slightly and winced, as he was squeezing the life out of her wrists. She didn't budge. She was scared. She was terrified, and her heart was skipping beats for entirely different reasons than usual. /Maybe this was a bad idea…/
Then, a sudden gust of wind blew by.
Sakura could barely hold it in before- now, she didn't even try. "Pfft!" She breathed out, and then laughed as loudly as she could, clutching her stomach. Sasuke let her go like she was on fire, clutching his skirt to stay down. He was a blushing, stuttering mess and Sakura was sure she would have been to, but it was just too surreal. /How the tables have turned/
"Oh- phew. Wow!" She eased up, ignoring the glare of death Sasuke was sending her way, somehow regaining his composure. "Haven't laughed like that in a while." She blinked up at Sasuke innocently, relying on her sudden burst of courage. "You were saying, Sasuke-kun?"
"It was you." He hissed, pointing an accusing finger her way. "Let me guess; it was actually one of my shots, right?"
"…I have no idea what you're talking about." She said slowly, while mentally shaking her head. /Lies, lies, lies/ God, but she had to admit she was enjoying herself.
She was enjoying herself a lot these days.
Sasuke didn't seem to believe her either. "Don't play dumb, Sakura." He snarled, and Sakura's heart skipped a beat as her name rolled of his tongue. It was funny; he was angry, he looked angry but he didn't sound angry. /No…/ She blinked away the confusion /No, that's not it. He just said my name differently- like…like…/
"I know you were the one that told Tsunade to drug me."
Sakura blinked, startled and bit her tongue. /Shoot/ She hissed in her mind. Her reaction was too slow- she couldn't even put in her part of denial. As the seconds ticked by and she stood saying nothing, Sasuke smirked slowly. She was caught. He knew and she knew it. They both did.
Oh, but not like that's going to stop her.
"Those are heavy accusations Sasuke." She dropped it- the act and the honorific, as she crossed her arms across her chest, eyes narrowed. "You sure you aren't drugged right now?"
Sasuke sighed deeply, obviously tired and sore. She didn't blame him- it would seem he ran off the moment his eyes opened, not bothering to eat first. Or dress.
"No- but I was. No thanks to you." He mumbled and his eyes widened considerably as Sakura inched towards him, on her toes as her palm leaned against his forehead. /God, he is tall/ Her face was on fire- but she'd gone too far, so might as well go ahead. "You sure? Have you experienced any hallucinations or dizziness so far?" The words rolled of her tongue slowly, as if she was regarding a child.
He wasn't answering her, just staring at her. He didn't even "Hn" or anything- he was openly staring at her, unmoving and obviously not going to do anything about the invasion of his personal space. In fact- it looked like he was leaning in…
"O-oh, well…T-that's good then." Sakura hastily retreated, taking his silence as a no, wiping her arms on the sleeves of her vest. God, this was so awkward. /Did I just…flirt with him?!/ She coughed loudly, looking at anywhere but him. "So, I guess… we're good." She stated nervously. "You better go back to the hospital."
"No."
"W-what?" /Excuse me?/ She flinched as she met his eyes- why was he staring at her so freaking much? "I-Uhh, thought we were done here."
Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her, practically screaming 'Seriously?'. "Sorry to say, but we are not" He took a step forward. "Done."
Amused or frustrated- she couldn't even tell anymore. He was an open page one time and a completely other language the next. Sakura scoffed. The jig was up. "Oh fine. So, I might have mentioned for Tsunade to slip a different medicine substance instead of your usual one in your last flu shot. Big deal."
"Drugging a person to literally spend his days in a coma is a big deal."
"Oh- you're fine, aren't you?"
"I've slept for 9 days, Sakura." He was practically an inch away from her now. And she hadn't even moved! "I'm not sure fine is the right word." He mumbled and Sakura sighed a bit. Well- she never said it was the best plan, but still. Did he really think she'd just let him run all over her, throwing away his insults in every direction like burning kunai?
Like always?
"Maybe next time you'll think about what to say." She stepped back inside her home, backing away. "And maybe be a bit nicer around me." /'Now that you learned your lesson, moron'/ Her inner was commenting, but Sakura couldn't care less. Sasuke was damn close. /'How do you like the taste of your own medicine, jackass? Hah- get it. Medicine? Hahahaha!'/ Her inner laughed away back into the darker depths of her mind, and Sakura just sighed at the notion.
It seems someone inherited her father's bad jokes.
"Oh I'll be a lot nicer." Sasuke whispered, his face inches from her own. /Wait- when did he…?/ Sakura could feel the blood pumping in her ears, as her hand clutched the door knob beside her. This wasn't the same Sasuke.
"You know, if you let me inside." He whispered, sounding…seductive? What? "I really wanna warm up." Sakura was darker than a strawberry, and she couldn't help but gape like a fish out of water. /Oh. My. COW./
Was Sasuke Uchiha flirting with her?!
Sakura was never properly hit on by a guy she liked. Heck, she'd hadn't even known Sasuke was capable of direction so many sentences at her, until now. Especially not… not those kind. So, naturally she freaked out.
"I-I-I" She swallowed and shut her eyes closed. "I t-think you should cool down!" She yelled, and slammed the door in his face- Sasuke's face. And she locked it too. And bolted it.
As Sakura slid down the door and onto the floor, the only thing she could hear in her frantic mind was Sasuke's chuckle from the other side of the door.
He was definitely drugged.
28 days since the events of the: End of the IV. War, The Infinite Tsukuyomi and The battle at The Valley of the End
Sakura had wisely decided to stay home on the weekend. She was working too hard, and she really needed a breather. /I can't believe I'm actually seeing things/ She absently scrubbed the plates as her mind kept flashing back on that very vivid dream of Sasuke flirting with her in his hospital gown the other night. /Wow- Tsunade's right, I need to loosen up. /
One part of her- a really big part- hoped against hope it wasn't just a daydream or stray hallucination. Because… Because…
/'Because you are in love with the bastard of the planet'/ Her inner offered lightly, and Sakura bit her lip, furiously scrubbing away a rather tough stain. /Nobody asked you anything/ She bit back, frustrated.
These last couple of days her Inner had also gained more access to her thoughts- she was slowly morphing back into her split personality- a different one, but still- and Sakura wasn't sure if she should be bothered or disturbed. Both, probably.
/'Settle down. Just stating facts.'/ Her inner replied, sighing. /'Sometimes, I can't believe we're even the same being'/ Sakura hummed in agreement, and looked up as her doorbell ringed. /Hard to imagine, right?/ She wiped away her wet hands on her apron and made her way to the door.
She stopped a couple of feet away, a slip of paper on the floor. /Weird…/ Walking over, she bent and picked it up. Her eyes narrowed as she read the quick message.
If you want a proper apology, than meet me at Ichiraku's at 7.
-Sasuke
Time seemed to stand still until one of them finally broke the ice.
/'Ugh- I wish he could have kept us ignorant for the rest of our lives in thinking it really was a very bad hallucination.'/ Inner grumbled and stalked away.
Sakura said nothing- her fingers were shaking as much as her goofy smile.
If this kept up, she'd need a vacation.
28 and a half days since the events of the: End of the IV. War, The Infinite Tsukuyomi and The battle at The Valley of the End
Sakura was deliberately slower than usual as she walked down the bustling Konoha streets. There was a festival going on, and everyone was heading in the opposite direction- at the main street next to the Hokage tower. This and usual market streets would soon be a wasteland.
She stopped and took a deep gulp at the entrance- curtain, of Ichiraku's. She closed her eyes. Slapped her cheeks. And picked up the pieces of her leftover courage. /Right. There's nothing to be afraid of/ She assured herself, frowning. /There's probably no one waiting for me anyways/
Biggest mistake of her life to date.
Sakura gasped in shock as she saw a familiar chicken headed teen sitting on a stool, causally leaning on the counter. It was stupid of her to think Sasuke would leave her hanging, since he was the one that sent the invite. Still- it's like a miracle had just walked up and slapped her in the face. She was shell-shocked.
She got inquiring stairs from both him and the cook himself. After seconds passed and she still didn't move, Sasuke coughed oddly to get her attention. "Do you intend to stand there all day?" Cocky and amused- definitely Sasuke. Err- this new and totally different Sasuke. Right.
"I-I" She gulped loudly as she shakily made her way over. "I thought this was a joke." She ended lamely, flopping down onto the stool next to Sasuke. Said person (or clone of said person, she wasn't sure) glanced at her from the corner of his eyes. "The fact I asked you out, or the fact you're on an actual date with me?" He smirked as she blushed slightly.
"The fact you wanted to apologize." She bit back, as a steaming bowl was placed in front of her. Ah- Naruto ramen. She smiled a bit as she stared at the traditional meal of team 7, graciously thanking Mr. Ichiraku. All of this combined with the person sitting next to her brought tons of memories to mind. Both good and the bad- it didn't matter anymore. She peeked at the boy- no, man next to her, slurping away his noodles with all the elegance he possessed.
It felt… worth it.
"So, when are you gonna let me inside?"
Sakura almost feel of her stool, her face on fire as she remembered the awkward events from before. /'That sounded soooo wrong'/ Her inner mumbled, and then scoffed. /'What a way to ruin the moment'/
"E-excuse me?!" Sakura shrieked the moment went back to the stove.
"In your house." Sasuke clarified. "You know- so I can meet your parents and stuff."
/Stuff?/ The word echoed in her mind as she froze all over again. /That's a lot more than just stuff. Waaaaaay more./
Sakura's eyes winded as she realized Sasuke was expecting her to answer. "Uhmmm…" She fumbled with her chopsticks a bit, before clearing her throat. "How about, not this year?" She giggled awkwardly at his blank stare. /'How about not in this century you idiot'/ Sakura ignored her Inner and desperately tried to save the already delicate conversation. "B-besides! You haven't even apologized yet." She swore to God, she was stuttering more than Hinata these days.
"You do know I'm leaving tomorrow, right?" He mumbled and /Sweet Kami, is he pouting?/. Sakura blinked at him. /What? Leaving?/
Oh- that was right. Sasuke's trial had been announced a couple of days ago. He was set free from all charges, seeing the council didn't want to deal with an overpowered fox brat and War Hero at the moment. Still…
"Did the council change their mind?" She asked worriedly, edging her stool just a bit closer. Was he banned or exiled for eternity? Sakura wouldn't have been surprised, but still… her chest ached. She had prepared for the worst case scenario, but this was still hard to deal with.
Sasuke shook his head. "No. I don't think they can, at this point anyways." He stated firmly and Sakura let out the breath she was holding. She paid more attention to her meal, smiling. "Great! That's a relief…"
"That's good." He mumbled and Sakura almost choked on her soup as his elbow brushed along her own. She looked up at him, and her heart stopped beating for a second. "I'm glad you're happy, Sakura." He was looking at her with such a tender smile…It looked just like all those times she thought it would if he smiled like that, just ten times better.
"Why?" The words spoke before she let them. Sasuke heard her all the same, and explained. "I'd like to see the world." He gave his trademark "Hn" as he placed his empty bowl on the counter. "Maybe from a different point of view this time. See the things that I probably missed."
Sakura digested his words and nodded slowly- that seemed reasonable. He had done some pretty bad things, and although he'd always be welcomed by his team, the villagers were another world altogether. She frowned and looked away. "That… that's not what I meant."
He was staring at her, she knew and Sakura took a deep, shaky breath as she gathered her guts once again. "Why… why do you care for me?" She whispered, looking at him head on. Her cheeks were pink and she was sure her eyes were displaying all the emotions she felt- sadness, anger, desire, confusion, guilt…
Why did he care for her? Why was he suddenly flirting with her? Why had he shown an interest now, and not all those times when she poured her heart out and he only drove it further to bleed? Was he just playing around with her? Ensuring her loyalty- Sakura wasn't stupid, rebuilding his clan was Sasuke's wish after all. She might have not known before, but there was only one way to accomplish that. Was this all just a game? She had waited for 3 years, she would definitely wait for more if he played his cards right.
Sakura was scared. This was a Sasuke she didn't know how to deal with. This was something entirely new, and she might fall under all kind of traps without even putting up a fight.
Her love for him was her biggest weakness.
Sasuke edged closer to her, and before she knew it, she was in his arms. He was holding her tightly, and he smelled like the woods and the grass after rain. She was shocked- at the gesture and the sudden onslaught of all of him on her senses.
"I care for you… a lot more than you think" He breathed out and let her go, their noses almost touching as he leaned in. The sincerity and complete determination in his colored eyes was astounding- she felt like falling into an endless hole and swirls of circles at the same time.
"I'd do anything for your happiness, Sakura."
The rest of the night was a blur for Sakura. "The date" lasted a bit longer, until Sasuke walked her home. She couldn't remember much of their conversation, but she remembered the way he leaned down in the darkness, a breath away from her lips.
Every fibre of her being was itching to lean in and seal it- her fate, his fate and this entire roller-coaster ride of a night. But the thought felt… forbidden. If she did it, like the first time a child eats a cookie, she would never be able to let go. She'd become addicted and free all at once, and she would never be able to let go of that new and amazing taste. She'd be caught up in the moment- her life-long wish would finally come true…
/'What if it doesn't?'/
And that thought made her stop. Stop everything and try to understand. Tried to settle the unnatural terror that was building up in her stomach. And she had listened to her inner. She had backed away from him, her chance; her dream. And had silently closed the door behind her…
She couldn't sleep that night, knowing what was to come tomorrow.
29 days since the events of the: End of the IV. War, The Infinite Tsukuyomi and The battle at The Valley of the End
She had thought long and hard that night.
She had cursed, cried, pouted, struggled and wandered through so many fantasies and opportunities. Sasuke had given her an opening- after all those years of chasing and tugging back and forth, to finally let him unwind around her. Not only had he given her an opening- he had embraced her, and her alone, completely and fully.
He was giving himself a chance to lover her.
He was giving her a chance to love him as much as she always imagined to, but never dared to do. He was even going to put in the effort to return her love with his own. Those once harsh and invisible boundaries were wiped and torn, leaving nothing but open space between them.
It just took one step, and she'd be walking.
But where to? To him and her future with him? Or to a life filled with strained love and unknown hardships? Was she going to get cursed, as much as Sasuke had been? This wasn't the same boy she had fallen in love with- in fact, she wasn't even sure if the boy she had fallen in love was real or not.
Sasuke was like a candle. Always flickering right and left, always changing, constantly making different decisions and personalities under the pressure of the troubles life threw at him. It was one of the ways he coped with it all- it gave him strength to move forward towards the new and unknown.
He wasn't stable.
Sakura had loved him ever since she was young, but there was always that nudging feeling saying how wrong it seemed to spend her life with him. She could never realize why the picture never made a whole, and she could never describe or point out exactly what was missing.
But she was determined to love him no matter what, because he was Sasuke Uchiha. The hottest and coolest guy in the village. The more determined she grew, the more she forced herself to love him and somewhere along the way, that child-like admiration and consideration turned into something more and Sakura lost all control over her emotions.
She finally found the most important flaw. The thing, that scared and disturbed her the most about him.
Sasuke was like fire and water all at once. Never stopping, always moving and devouring- changing.
She didn't know why this bothered her so much- people always changed throughout their lives, it was completely natural. She was making a big commotion about nothing and she couldn't understand why.
No- that was wrong, she knew damn well why.
She was frightened of Sasuke. Over the years at the academy and the small amount of time she spent with him on their team, Sakura had seen Sasuke change many times over, she just refused to notice and accept it. Because Sasuke always changed for the worst. Even when he killed his brother and exacted his revenge, he had changed his direction in destroying the village.
He was the same, and exact opposite of Naruto. As Naruto changed all the time for the better in most cases, when Sasuke changed it always went into the direction of the worse. Probably not by choice, but it just… happened like that. And it was still going like that. Because they were just too powerful to always stay the same.
She remembered how he had walked up to her with wild eyes and squeezed her in fury- her wrists were still bruised, and in that moment it was like staring into the eyes of Madara or Kaguya all over again.
She couldn't love Sasuke. She couldn't do it- not the way she wanted to.
It was in those moment of doubt, that her father had entered her room and found her clutching her pillow, silent tears running down her cheeks. He said nothing- he just sat beside her. When she finally looked up at him, he hugged her tightly and offered her what she needed the most now. Someone to tell her it wasn't going to be the end of the world, that she was still loved and cared for despite her flaws and mistakes.
Really, he was the best damn father in the world.
"How do you love someone Otou-san?" Her words were small whispers against his shoulder as he gently ran his fingers through her hair. She might break down if she spoke any louder, and her father hummed thoughtfully, making her ears vibrate at the sound. It was relaxing, in an unfamiliar but nice way.
"I'm not sure really…" He clicked his tongue in thought, absently brushing his finger against his chin. "It's difficult and easy all at once. It's very hard to explain, and the most natural thing to happen at the same time."
"A paradox." She sighed, burying her head deeper into his clothes and the safety he provided right now. This entire thing she felt was a paradox.
He chuckled lightly, silently and slowly. "Yeah, you could say that. Why do you ask pumpkin?" Sakura tensed and backed away from his hold, trying to find her father's eyes in the darkness. It wasn't hard with the moonlight lighting up the room and she swallowed hard. The words felt heavy and harsh, like they would eat her up if she set them loose from their cages.
She said them anyway.
"I think I finally found out the thing that scares me the most, in the person I love." She could breathe a little easily- there, she had said it and it wasn't such a burden on her heart anymore. Now it was just weight- guilty and large. "I'm not sure if I could love him as much as I wanted to... I'm scared, really."
And her father said nothing. He was silent and understanding- just what she needed him to be right now. He was the mountain she could lean on, the person that won't lash out for her unexplained fears and the creatures that festered on her doubts.
As he tucked her into bed, his words echoed into her mind for the rest of the night, changing her abrupt decisions and the shaky future she kept imagining in her head.
"When you love someone, you have to love them completely. You have to except both the good and the bad- you have to love all of them. That's the entire point of love. It isn't based on conditions."
It was just what she needed to hear. To be assured that, yes Sasuke would always change for better or worse, but she loved him right?
She had to love him.
/'Yes'/ Her inner voiced in her mind, quickly jumping on the chance to completely turn everything over. / 'But you get to choose what bad and good sides you'll love.'/
/Stop it./
/ 'Can you truly cope with his bad? Is it truly the bad that you want to love?'/
/No- stop it, I love Sasuke-kun!/
/ 'Will you risk yourself for him?'/
/Of course I will! I always have! I love ALL of him./ That was right, that's right- her entire training and strength up to this point was for Sasuke-kun. All of it. Her inner was wrong- dead wrong. /Because love has no conditions…/
/ 'Everything has conditions, Sakura.'/ Her inner replied, words laced with ice as sharp as the harshest winter. / 'Especially love. Mutual love is based on all kinds of conditions. Yours is only one-sided.'/
/Shut up! I DO love him. And Sasuke-kun… Sasuke-kun is ready to love me./
/ 'Not the real Sasuke.'/
Her words shook her to the core- real Sasuke? What did she mean by the real Sasuke? This was the real Sasuke. She buried her head into her pillow, choking down the sobs that raised from her throat. /Shut up. You know NOTHING about me…/
/ 'No./ Her inner echoed as she slowly withdrew into deeper memories and forgotten moments. /I AM you./
The morning of Sasuke's departure and the crumbling of the world
Blurred lines.
That's all she felt; that's all she heard. She dimly noted that Kakashi was saying something- about imprisonment and Naruto- it was too bland and confusing to decipher. Sasuke nodded or said something in reply every once in a while, so she guessed he understood.
She didn't.
When she looked back behind the gates, she only saw blurry edges of buildings and people. Nothing had a face- barely anything had a shape. It all seemed foreign and distant; had they really come from that direction a while ago? It seemed impossible.
She felt sick and sleepy, and oh-so tired. It was like her insides were twisting all around, convulsing and changing within her body. Her brain was banging against her skull- dear God, had it turned into a hammer?
Strange; it felt like someone was calling her name.
Her eyes were so heavy and the ground was so close. It seemed like such a convenient place to lay down and just sleep. Sleep it all off- all her worries, and deal with them later when she was stronger. Let herself get rested- when she woke up, all her problems and doubts would disappear. /Im so tired…/
Her knees were shaking and she was sure she would collapse any moment now. Her eyes were hardly open and her mouth was hanging limply- God, if she could just reach the ground. She blinked one last time, and there wasn't any ground or dirt below her- just an infinite hole of red and black. She could feel herself falling and with her, all the strength she possessed… /I'll deal with it all…later…/
/ 'WAKE UP!'/
It was like her inner personality had slapped her straight in the face- Sakura jerked awake, and her knees wobbled. She took a deep breath and coughed her lungs out: like she had just spent her time under the thickest water, covered in ice of pure steel.
Someone had broken the surface and pulled her back.
When she came to, and took in deep, even breaths, something was off. Kakashi wasn't next to her anymore. No- now that she thought about it, she wasn't even at the gates anymore. She was back- back at the place that haunted her memories even now. /The same bench, and the same tree… It's like nothing changed/ The very air was still and the shadows didn't even seem to move.
The same boy was right in front of her.
It was Sasuke- yet it wasn't. This Sasuke was older, stronger- they both were, but that wasn't what was somehow off about the situation.
This Sasuke was wearing a ceremonial kimono.
The dark robes fitted him like a glove- it showed to all everything that he was- calm, strong, mysterious and powerful. Like an eagle soaring through the sky, he was majestic. He looked downright beautiful, that Sakura actually felt a tinge of jealousy.
His eyes were different too. They did not hold the black emptiness or the storm of spirals; they weren't spouting fire or spinning in anger. They held only one thing- the thing she always wanted him to look at her with.
He looked at her with nothing but love.
Sakura was shocked and numb. She couldn't say anything- he held her under her gaze, and it was like he had the power of an entire army to back him up. She wasn't sure what he was going to do- this was all too vivid and scary. How did they come here? What happened? She remembered nothing from this morning.
She gasped as he cupped her cheek with his hands. He was there, right in front of her, looming above like a dark angel. She wanted to lean into the touch; she really did, but the moment his fingertips grazed her lips, she flinched and stepped back.
His hands were rough as stone.
Sasuke gave her such a pitiful and mournful look, it almost made her stagger back into his arms to wipe it off his face. /No…no/ She shook her head. Something was telling her she should stay away from this Sasuke- and it wasn't just her inner this time.
"Why can't you love me Sakura?" He whispered gently and he sounded so wounded and hurt. As if she had stabbed him in the gut, or worse. Her heart was hammering in her ears, and for the love of everything she could not move or approach him at all.
He was like a shadow, quietly stepping towards her as she hastily backed away. This wasn't right. This wasn't him. She froze as her back met something solid and strong. He was already in front of her, blocking any escape routes. "Why won't you accept my love?" He whispered, and bangs obscured his eyes as he got closer and closer.
She could see nothing but him, and his eyes, which looked as if he had seen his entire world fall apart and burn everything that was dear to him. It was sad, and her fingers twitched to hug him for reassurance that she was still here and always will be, but she quickly squashed that growing desire. /No…no, that's not what I want!/ She yelled in her mind, which was pulled this way and that, as someone picked through her thoughts and memories like one would with chopsticks. /Sasuke-kun would never…/
"Why are you so scared?" His voice turned pleading. "I… I thought this is what you wanted, Sakura." His hands were leaning against the wall as he stared down at her painfully. "Am I not your biggest desire?" His robes turned to shadows that encircled the world into a soothing black, and hid them from view.
No… he was hiding the world from her.
She licked her lips, desperately trying to say something- anything. "I…I…Sasuke-kun, I can't…" She gulped in fear, but she had to say it. Had to make him understand. Make herself understand, this wasn't something she could-
"I can't love you Sasuke-kun."
"Why? WHY?" He snapped, and suddenly everything cracked with him. The world seemed to crumble and Sakura looked with fear into two crimson eyes, spirals of the sharingan spinning in them.
"Am I not your wish? Is my love not your biggest dream?!" He was hissing and screaming, and his robes were stained with blood and were moving like dark creatures in nightmares. His face was twisting and Sakura looked on with muted horror as he backed away and ripped through his skin with claws. "WHY?!"
"You- you're not Sasuke." She whispered to herself, but it didn't feel like her vocie. This wasn't Sasuke- this never was Sasuke, this was a nightmare. Her heart was beating a mile and she felt like she had a pit of snakes deep inside her stomach, twisting and turning. It hurt, this hurt- everything hurt.
She ran. Ran away, ran through black holes and crimson fields, through horrifying bodies of men and women alike. She couldn't stop running, and when she looked back she saw shadows lick and devour everything in their path. Her legs were heavy, her lungs were filled with pressure- she had to stop. She couldn't stop.
She tripped on a rock and she was falling upwards towards the sky, instead of downwards to her doom. Her eyes slipped closed and her breath was stolen from her. Her skin shrunk and her bones seemed to melt from the inside out, and she was screaming and twisting through the air as she fell through spirals. She hit something hard and the pain finally left, releasing her and allowing her to slip into numb relief.
…
..
.
"Sakura, wake up."
Someone was shaking her roughly, and she wished they would go away. /I just want to sleep…/ But no one heard her plea and she grunted harshly as she tried to open her eyes. She didn't want to- it felt like she would never be able to close them again if she did, but something was telling her she had to take that risk. / 'Open them right now'/
Harsh sunlight greeted her and she blinked heavily. She coughed and winced as she felt pain all over. /Ouch/ She hissed, and with that noise all kinds of exhales and happy greetings filled her ears.
"Oh thank goodness you're safe!"
"We thought you'd never wake up."
"For a moment there, we were ready to call baa-chan dattebayo!"
"She's obviously fine, you moron."
"Oi! Shut up teme!"
"Now, now- try to give her some room to breathe."
She heard voices of all those people she knew and she sighed happily. /A dream- it was all just a big nightmare/ She instantly relaxed as her fears were soothed and her mind was calm again. /Thank goodness/
With a lighter heart and an even calmer mind, she blinked away the fuzy spots and opened her eyes to the sight of the real people she loved and cared for. She smiled wide and looked at them all.
Her parents, team members and friends all looked at her with the same violet spirals in their eyes with wide smirks plastered across her face. The light of a red, sharingan moon was high above her and beating down onto the ground.
Sakura screamed in terror as her nigmaters shifted, pleaded and chased. She was running from them all over again, and her inner growled inside her mind with anger and fear.
/ 'This is barely over'/
A/N: Holy CRAP.
Ladies and gentleman, I present to you the longest thing I have ever written- 36 freakin pages. CHEERS for wasting my time on this!
If nobody got the entire idea of this, let me explain.
Let's say that, when Madara preformed the Infinite Tsukuyomi, Sasuke acted like the actual bitch he is and didn't save Sakura from it. This entire one-giant-shot is my concept of how Sakura's perfect genjutsu world would look like. I just basically took the ending of Naruto and twisted it to fit my desires.
Except, Sakura's wish is "pure" in a sense and hard to grant- the dream world keeps shifting to try and please her desires. She wants Sasuke to love her- but she wants the real Sasuke to do that, but the real Sasuke she knows isn't capable of giving her that love (Confusing, I know). And, that's why Sasuke's behaviour through the story keeps changing- the dream world is trying to meet her requirements, but Sakura is unsatisfied with it each time, knowing it all just feels wrong. Also seeing that her inner resurfaces from her subconscious, convincing Sakura every time how none of this is right for her. I guess her inner isn't affected by the Infinite Tsukuyomi like Sakura, so it's easier for her to decipher the truth from the lies.
This was basically written for fun, and was my take on how Sakura's world would look like. It's a one-shot, it's not meant to be understandable, it's huge and this story is basically on shaky grounds. But, on the plus side, it's also over (Might make a sequel if reception's good… :/ Haha! Lol, like that'd ever happen XD)
The title was inspired by Two steps from Hell's song: All is hell that ends well. Which, I don't own.
Dislaimer: I don't own Naruto.
REVIEW (C'mon 36 pages. If you think it's crappy, write at least two-three lines.)
