A/N: Yes well I'm back with another one-shot! This one is based/parody of the song Burnin' Up by the Jonas Brothers. So you can sing the parody in the tune of the song! YAY! Enjoy! I do not own FMA or the song Burnin' Up.


"Well, well, well, it looks like you've come back empty handed Fullmetal… Again," the dark haired colonel said ever so smugly.

Edward just mumbled something underneath his breath.

"What was that Fullmetal? I couldn't hear you; you're all the way down there," Mustang said poking another joke at Edward's height.

Ed was shaking with familiar rage as Alphonse struggled to hold his brother back, "I said, I have my stupid report ready," Ed growled through clenched teeth.

The colonel took the report and scanned through it, "Oh my Fullmetal, this report is as short as you are!"

Edward was about to explode but he held himself back as a brilliant idea came across his genius mind.


Edward was waiting at the reception desk. "Brother, what are you planning?"

"Something evilly genius," Ed said as a dark smirk grew across his face.

"But brother can't you just let this go?" Al asked sweetly.

"No, I'm going to show that colonel whose boss!" The blond said his eyes burning with determination, "There you are Sheczka; I need you to get me a disco ball, a microphone and Major Armstrong!"


The colonel reluctantly returned to his office after a long lunch break. His subordinates were already seated around working diligently under the Hawk's eye.

As the colonel took a seat at his desk the lights dimmed and a disco ball came down. The Lieutenant glared at the colonel suspecting him. Edward then jumping out of nowhere stood on top of the colonel's desk and began to do the unexpected…

He sang:

I'm hot,

You're old,

You go around,

With ego,

Like you're best,

But you're a fool,

You make me lose my cool.

I'm slipping into a slumber,

And I'm trying from makin' a blunder,

Colonel who turned you arrogance higher,

Now you're freezing up freezing up,

Without alchemy!

I fell, (I fell)

Face flat, (face flat)

And all you did,

Was laugh!

High boots, (high boots)

Long cloak, (Long Cloak)

All dressed in blue,

Go wipe that smirk!

I'm slipping into a slumber,

And I'm trying from makin' a blunder,

Colonel who turned you arrogance higher,

Now you're freezing up freezing up,

Without alchemy!

Piss me off,

That's all you ever do,

You're staring me down,

Makes me wanna punch you …

I'm slipping into a slumber,

And I'm trying from makin' a blunder,

Colonel who turned you arrogance higher,

Now you're freezing up freezing up,

Without alchemy!

(Havoc Gets Up and Starts Rapping)

Freezing up in this place tonight,
Gonna sing it loud,
And we're feeling right,
Get up and dance,
Don't try to fight it,
Havoc's for real,
And that's no lie.
Stop drop and roll,
And touch the floor,
Keep on frezzing up more and more,
I got Fullmetal with me,
Layin' it down,
Come on Ed bring the Chorus round!

I'm slipping into a slumber, (freezing up freezing up!)

And I'm trying from makin' a blunder, (Yeah)

Colonel who turned you arrogance higher,

Now you're freezing up freezing up,

(Yah, you're)

freezing up freezing up,

Without alchemy!

Ed finished and Roy was utterly stunned and his eardrums exploded.

"I am now scarred for life," The colonel said slowly.

Then Major Armstrong came rushing in, "Oh you poor colonel! I will help you restore your hearing with a technique passed down through Armstrong generations!" the muscular man said crushing Mustang.

As a result of loss of hearing and his bones being crushed the colonel was forced to spend the rest of the week in the hospital.

"I know exactly what my next report we be on…and this time it'll be longer than me-" Ed stopped right in his tracks… He couldn't believe that he just called himself small, "I AM NOT SMALL!"


A/N: Poor boys! And yes I did make Edward sing and it did work! At least I think, hey, maybe you should review and tell me what you think! See what I did there? Ya, ya I get it I'm not funny but here's the deal for each review Ed will grow another inch TALLER!