The world around me is indistinct and fuzzy, sometimes psychedelic but more often replaying the blood-soaked scene that swirls around in my mind's eye. The shadow and the pain. I glance down. Blood. Am I dead? Am I alive? Everything is blurry for me. I can't tell what happens anymore. Occasionally I float near the surface, Bodie's there; he's asking questions, almost yelling at me. If I can't tell whether I'm alive how can I help you? And then he's gone as quickly as he came. Strangers in white coats loom and disappear. Disembodied. Somehow important but dreamlike.

Or am I dreaming now? That would the logical assumption. But I'm not sure anymore. Walking with Cowley in a graveyard and then it dissolves into blackness and I'm alone again. Are these memories or creations of my addled brain?

"…Dormant…just enough…"

"…Keep him that way!"

A graveyard… a funeral…my funeral. Bodie's telling me not to give up. To live. Is this what I want? A life bringing death? I save people. But I kill.

"Do you want us to die?" That hits right where it hurts. Can't I be selfish and just let go? It wouldn't matter once I'm gone. The unspoken words hang in my mind. Shameful.

Do you want to fail Bodie? Fail Cowley? Fail the entire organization?

No.